I think soy is just fine in moderation. I like to drink soy milk, in fact, I rely on it as a source of vitamin B-12. I do also make nut milks from time to time, just for variety. And I LOVE tofu! As for vegan alternates to meats, cheeses, etc...I try to buy the non-soy options whenever possible. For instance, I buy vegan rice cheese, Rice Divine vegan ice cream (it's YUM), veggie-type gardenburgers or black bean burgers rather than the soy burger, etc. I do eat soy yogurt because I really like the taste and texture and haven't found a different version as of yet.
I think it could be possible to overdo soy as a vegetarian if you depend too much on processed food, but if most of your meals are centered around veggies, beans, whole grains, and fruit, then a soy product thrown in here and there certainly won't do any harm!