Being a vegetarian with non-vegetarian in-laws - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 01-05-2007, 12:50 PM
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#2 Old 01-05-2007, 02:06 PM
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Since it seems like you and your mother-in-law have a good relationship, why don't you ask her if she'd like to spend a Saturday/evening/whenever with you cooking some vegetarian dishes. Or maybe go over to their house a little early and cook something for dinner together. It would be an activity for you to do together and she might come to a better understanding of how you eat. Also, the more she "learns" from you, the easier it might be for her to prepare something you all could eat. Good luck.
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#3 Old 01-05-2007, 04:05 PM
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my ILs just "didn't get it" and in some ways still "don't get it" in regards to vegetarianism.



my MIL would try, honestly she would, but it would always fall short (because she doesn't understand the 'theory' of vegetarian cooking) and then she'd feel bad (and i would be hungry). my husband and I do bring a lot of our own food, because we also eat organic, etc, and they don't--but this also upsets them.



i've found that the best that i can do is to do things 'pot luck' style. my MIL is in charge of the main course and dessert, and i often bring a salad. Sometimes i also bring soup and/or a side--though often my MIL will make a completely vegetarian side dish (usually starch).



my MIL got really "into" this style of doing things and started asking my SIL to also bring things when she came over. she typically brings some kind of dessert or the other side dish (usually starch).



So, our meals are typically like this:



Me: i bring salad and/or soup

MIL: meat, side or dessert

SIL: side or dessert.



this way, i typically 'get' to have salad and soup (if i bring it), the side, and sometimes the dessert.



i tend to avoid margerine of any sort--and my MIL and SIL bake with it. So, baked desserts are out. They also buy commercial frozen yogurt and ice cream, which typically have high fructose corn syrup, also something that i avoid. So typically, i forgo dessert (saying that i'm full).



I bring enough, of course, for everyone. This has worked out really well for us. maybe it will work for you!
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#4 Old 01-05-2007, 05:15 PM
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My MIL doesn't really make any kind of an effort for me. She just assumes there's plenty for me with the non-meat side dishes (which is usually mashed potatoes, corn, and white bread). But we don't have dinner with them all that often, so I just grin and bear it.
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#5 Old 01-06-2007, 10:12 AM
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Neither my in-laws nor my mom will cook for us when we visit (we are both veg... I'm vegan, him nearly so). We end up eating in the one veg-friendly restaurant in their town, or buying microwave dinners that are vegan and eating those. We don't visit often, even though they're only a couple hours away, since they drive us crazy anyway.



The way I see it is if they can't feed me, then I will feed myself, and if they have a problem with it, that's not my problem. We have to eat. I'm not an imposition because I choose not to eat a diet that's horrificly cruel.
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#6 Old 01-06-2007, 11:53 AM
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I'm with zoebird-- instead of bringing food "for yourself," and feeling like an outcast, why not bring food "to share," which will help you feel included? Bring a couple dishes that will be hearty enough to satisfy you, and will sort of coordinate with the main dish that the folks are having. That's what a lot of us do at holiday and other family dinners.



Or invite them to your house for dinner sometimes and feed them a wonderful vegetarian dinner. I like the joint cooking project idea, too.
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#7 Old 01-09-2007, 09:34 AM
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Why not buy her a copy of your favorite vegetarian cookbook with your favorite recipes marked?
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#8 Old 01-09-2007, 10:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tesseract View Post

I'm with zoebird-- instead of bringing food "for yourself," and feeling like an outcast, why not bring food "to share," which will help you feel included? Bring a couple dishes that will be hearty enough to satisfy you, and will sort of coordinate with the main dish that the folks are having. That's what a lot of us do at holiday and other family dinners.



Or invite them to your house for dinner sometimes and feed them a wonderful vegetarian dinner. I like the joint cooking project idea, too.



Thats what i was gonna say and what i usually do when I am going to a party or dinner...I bring some veggie dishes to share.
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#9 Old 01-10-2007, 12:05 PM
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My in-laws are funny -- they know I'm vegetarian, but they still express surprise that I don't eat 'special' meats like lamb and turkey. Anyway, we have a pretty good system for making sure there's food I'll eat when I'm there: I do a lot of the cooking. I like to cook and they don't, so I usually plan on cooking something interesting like Indian food or sushi while I'm there. When my mother-in-law made a meat lasagne, she made a smaller one for me with no meat. At Christmas, the side dishes were veg (except stuffing and gravy, which I didn't miss) and I made a cheese and nut loaf to share.
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