Witty Responses to "Stupid things omnivores say"? - Page 9 - VeggieBoards
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#241 Old 01-24-2007, 12:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fromper View Post


Meater: Where do you get your protein?

Veggie: The same place the cows and chickens get it. I just cut out the middle man.



Ooh, very good!
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#242 Old 01-24-2007, 12:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fromper View Post

Meater: Do you eat fish?

Veggie: Only the kind that grows on trees.



Meater: Where do you get your protein?

Veggie: The same place the cows and chickens get it. I just cut out the middle man.



--Fromper



Excellent!
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#243 Old 01-25-2007, 05:50 PM
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Everyone is wicked funny...
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#244 Old 01-25-2007, 06:28 PM
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Omni: So your a vegetarian?

Me: Yep.

Omini: What about hambugers?

My response: Yeah, I'm not answering that one buddy.



If it's too obvious, just ignore it.
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#245 Old 01-25-2007, 06:49 PM
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ya...a lot of pple i no tell me not 2 be a vegan..but their juust jealous
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#246 Old 02-20-2007, 09:13 AM
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Here was a good one from work yesterday!



My Manager: (Has head over hamburger patties) Geez, These stink!

My Sister: Yeah dead carcass does that.

My Manager: Yeah I guess you right.
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#247 Old 02-20-2007, 08:54 PM
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Me: I love making cookies!



Kid: Aren't you vegan or something?



Me: Yes. I make cookies that happen to be vegan.



Kid: What's IN them?



Me: Kittens and puppies mostly.
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#248 Old 02-20-2007, 10:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumos View Post

Me: I love making cookies!



Kid: Aren't you vegan or something?



Me: Yes. I make cookies that happen to be vegan.



Kid: What's IN them?



Me: Kittens and puppies mostly.

That's great!
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#249 Old 02-21-2007, 02:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumos View Post

Me: I love making cookies!



Kid: Aren't you vegan or something?



Me: Yes. I make cookies that happen to be vegan.



Kid: What's IN them?



Me: Kittens and puppies mostly.







I love it
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#250 Old 02-23-2007, 08:44 AM
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This is a great thread. I know I'm going to be hearing more of these comments in the near future.
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#251 Old 02-23-2007, 03:59 PM
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Meathead: Our ancestors ate meat, so we should too.

Veghead: What's your take on pooh flinging?

originally posted by querks





That first one made me laugh outloud





ps why cant i quote??????
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#252 Old 02-23-2007, 05:13 PM
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Yea, being Catholic, I hate the whole "Jesus ate meat and didn't say there was anything wrong with it" argument. By that reasoning we should all be walking around in tunics and sandals.
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#253 Old 02-26-2007, 06:39 AM
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I have this dude in one of my classes who's lways giving me a bad time:



Carnivore: Hey Vegetarian! Go Suck A Vegtable!

*Luaghter / Applause

Me: Hey Fatty, Go Suck A Nut

*Silence



I know it's mean but i was exhuasted and pissed. I feel bad... but it was funny
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#254 Old 02-27-2007, 08:27 AM
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Meateater : So... What do you eat, exactly?



Me : Sorry, I am low on every nutrient known to man. Therefore, I have a hard time concentrating and find myself hungry all the time because all I eat is broccoli. Could you repeat that question?



... Eh... That's why I am not a commedian.
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#255 Old 03-17-2007, 01:49 AM
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Omni: Being vegan makes you effeminate. Real men eat steak.

Me: You do realize that when you eat steak you are consuming all the female hormones like estrogen and such that the cow produces in her life?

Omni: Not if it's from a male cow.

Me: There are no male cows. Those are called bulls.

Omni:
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#256 Old 03-17-2007, 08:57 AM
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Ugh, theres this kid in my foods class that LOVES to pick on me. When it came to his "lunch" that we have for the public.. his had meat in EVERYTHING.

Well, a week after his was another persons and it had a nice spinach mushroom salad and I was just so happy to make it (even the dressing was vegan!).



Him: I bet that salad was tough to make.

Me: Oh yeah, just couldn't figure it out. Spinach mushroom salad.. what do I do? (sarcastically)

Him: See your probably going to die from lack of good protien. I think it's hurting your brain with that veggienism.

Me: See.. I think your gonna die too. But let's hope it's not murder.

Him: (Doesn't understand it at all) I have bacon in my blood.

Me: (head to palm)



OH and here's something my sister gave me to say to him.



Him: I have a hard time donating blood because of all the bacon.

Me: Well, That's probably because you a total pig.



MUAHAHAHHAAAA!
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#257 Old 03-17-2007, 11:39 AM
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I donate blood regularly. Just did a few day ago, and I am currently vegan for Lent. I hate the whole veg=anemic thing. It is so ridiculous.
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#258 Old 03-17-2007, 12:42 PM
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Omni- "If I soaked myself in raw egg and then rolled on your food without you noticing, would you throw up your food?"

Me- "Um... yeah. Salmonella can do that to you." <_<
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#259 Old 03-17-2007, 07:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UseHerName View Post

My sister (omni): Mmmm milk.

Me (vegan): Ewww...cow cum.



She nearly spit it out from laughing.



omg that is the funniest call eva!!!!!! ahahahahahaahhah im so gonna use it, u legend!



(im australian to everyone who doesnt know yesterday my bf goes:

beef is australias primary export, its unaustralian not to eat meat.



me: its unaustralian not o stand up for your beliefs (yeh i know its not witty, if neone has a btter response plz tell me)
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#260 Old 03-17-2007, 09:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michey View Post

Omni- "If I soaked myself in raw egg and then rolled on your food without you noticing, would you throw up your food?"

Me- "Um... yeah. Salmonella can do that to you." <_<



Whut? Am I eating a slimy tortilla or something?
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#261 Old 03-17-2007, 10:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seb_0810 View Post

Omni: Being vegan makes you effeminate. Real men eat steak.

Me: You do realize that when you eat steak you are consuming all the female hormones like estrogen and such that the cow produces in her life?

Omni: Not if it's from a male cow.

Me: There are no male cows. Those are called bulls.

Omni:



I always find it amusing when I see cartoons portraying male "cows", complete with udders. There seems to be an excess of transsexual cattle in the media.
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#262 Old 03-17-2007, 10:15 PM
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Omni: "The animals' will still be killed even if you don't eat them."

Me: " I'm not vegetarian because I love animals, I'm vegetarian because I hate plants."



One of my omni friends said: "I'm not vegetarian but I still love animals."

Me: "That's why you eat them."



ETA:

Omni: "But humans evolved to eat meat."

Albert Einstein: "Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances of survival for life on earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet."
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#263 Old 03-19-2007, 07:28 AM
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^ That's my favorite quote ever. I include it in papers all the time. So perfectly stated....
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#264 Old 03-19-2007, 11:43 AM
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I love it too! I used it to one of the adult sergeants at Air Cadets. He's always quoting Albert Einstein: something about working in a team. It kinda back-fired on him You should have seen his face!
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#265 Old 03-19-2007, 01:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aussyj View Post

Meateater : So... What do you eat, exactly?



Me : Sorry, I am low on every nutrient known to man. Therefore, I have a hard time concentrating and find myself hungry all the time because all I eat is broccoli. Could you repeat that question?



... Eh... That's why I am not a commedian.



Lmao. I'm definitely going to remember that one. It's going to be tough trying not to laugh, though.
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#266 Old 03-19-2007, 02:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aussyj View Post

Meateater : So... What do you eat, exactly?



Me : Sorry, I am low on every nutrient known to man. Therefore, I have a hard time concentrating and find myself hungry all the time because all I eat is broccoli. Could you repeat that question?



... Eh... That's why I am not a commedian.



I do something similar, this is how it goes with my mom everytime I see her:



Mom: What do you eat, just salads?

Me: Yep salads. That's about it...

Mom: Don't you wish there was something else you could eat?

Me: If only....
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#267 Old 03-19-2007, 02:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeckyHew View Post

So what do you say when people say "but you probably kill loads of insects and worms just walking in the grass....."



I'm just hopeless at thinking up good replies.



although my toenails are pointy, don't mistake them for teeth... i can't actually eat the things i walk on...





lmfao that was horrible.
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#268 Old 03-20-2007, 10:26 PM
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Mom: I could never eat like you do! I would be hungry all of the time.



Me: Speechless while looking at my full bowl of salad, my plate covered with a vegan taco, vegan safe tortilla chips, corn, and salsa, then examining her plate covered with a beef taco with salsa on top of it.



Mom: I just don't think veggies are the mai...



Me: *Shaking head and shutting off my ability to listen* Mom, I find it dumbfounding that you eat so much less than I, yet you worry about my food intake because I simply do not consume meat! I mean, of course meat has fiber and high amounts of all needed vitamins, but I simply don't feel right eating it. I guess my vegan meal that is void in fiber and the nutrients that meat has will just have to do for now until I see the light.
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#269 Old 03-21-2007, 08:23 AM
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Pssst..... Meat has no fiber.
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#270 Old 03-21-2007, 10:07 AM
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Aussyj, Meat doesn't have any dietary fiber in it. That's why Atkins people are always full of sh**t.
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