Angry Vegetarian!! Look out!!!! - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 01-17-2005, 11:30 PM
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I dunno. Coming up on 7 months of eating vegetarian and almost vegan (not quite but trying) and I find myself going through an angry resentful stage. Angry and resentful that there are so few things I would want to eat or dare to trust eating while out of the house. Sick of explaining that I don't eat these things. Feigning allergies at times just to be done with having to explain why battery-farmed eggs gross me out. I look at a menu in an average restaurant and I am filled with annoyance and at times indignation 1) that people eat such crap and 2) that they expect ME to either eat it or starve.



I have been made ill half a dozen times by eating things people told me were okay but weren't. Rice but it was cooked in broth, oops! Sandwiches that had minute hidden pieces of disgusting sausage in them. People slipping my daughter yogurt with gelatin in it. "But it's Kosher gelatin!" the other mommy said defensively. Yeah. Yum, yummy. That makes it okey-dokey. WTF is gelatin doing in fricking yogurt anyway?!!!!



The worst is my ex purposefully feeding my kid McEvil or sending her home smelling like the Outback Steakhouse because A) he knows that it really gets to me to think she's eating that stuff and B) he knows the smell is repulsive to me on her and that I will spend the evening bathing her no matter how tired I am to get rid of the stench. Stir fry smells on my baby? no, thank you.



Plus there's nothing like that leaden realisation that there's almost nothing worth eating out there. I feel ripped off. I used to love to eat out. I loved sitting down in a cafe and having something nice and light. Maybe a glass of wine with it. That's all gone now. I would never go back to eating flesh but dammit. WHY is it so impossible? A large and popular italian restaurant and there are TWO THINGS I CAN EAT! TWO!!!!



If one more person asks me why I won't have a slice of the pepperoni pizza I will scream. And if they add "Oh, hey, you don't know what you're missing!" I may have to be physically restrained.



Just, ack.



d
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#2 Old 01-17-2005, 11:37 PM
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that's just the price we pay ...

hang in there

maybe talk to your EX about what he feeds your daughter. like a really serious talk .... and ..how old is she ?
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#3 Old 01-17-2005, 11:39 PM
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I have to say I understand and relate I feel your frustration it is truly sad. If I were financially able to do it, I would start a vegan chain restaurant with healthy foods that were tasty and balanced.

*dreams of it all*
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#4 Old 01-17-2005, 11:40 PM
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ah, i remember this. i'm sorry you don't have more veg*n choices when it comes to restaurants.



don't worry, this anger you're feeling right now? it'll simmer down into a nice calm resignation soon. and when that resignation wears off, you'll learn to be jaded and cynical...just like me.



j/k



hang in there, AV.
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#5 Old 01-17-2005, 11:42 PM
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Almost 4. I think she's so young to be made to feel guilty about what other people feed her. I have no real notion of how to proceed with that one.



Another thing to get myself good and worked up over.



*sigh*
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#6 Old 01-17-2005, 11:48 PM
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Argh.I'm right there with ya.My oldest is 4 as well,and daddy is an omni.Oh the frustration.My only solace is the baby will not grow up eating meat,so won't question it.Just as long as I can keep the family out of it.
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#7 Old 01-18-2005, 01:09 AM
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I went through this stage too (at about the same time in my vegetarian life, too). It sucks. Heh. But you learn to cope. It definately does get easier.

Love the post? Why not buy the T-shirt!
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#8 Old 01-18-2005, 01:42 AM
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I know just what you mean. After turning vegan, it seems like there is nowhere at all to go and eat out. Even the places that have something, like marinara spaghetti or a crappy salad, it is still 10 bucks for something that I could make at home without any effort. Sorry about your ex, I agree with Vicky with just trying to reason with him as much as you can.
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#9 Old 01-18-2005, 01:42 AM
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I honestly don't think I ever went through an "angry vegetarian" stage, but even now after 7 1/2 years on a vegetarian diet, I still get frustrated by people's anti-veg attitudes, stupid things omnis say, and, worst of all, having to "make do" (or go hungry) in restaurants and elsewhere. The worst are the potlucks and non-potlucks at work which I dread. The non-potlucks means that somebody volunteers to collect money from everybody and then orders food from a restaurant so we don't have to cook and bring stuff in. They say "Don't worry, Amy, I know you don't eat meat, so we'll have something for you", and then of course they bring in a truckload of chicken and a tray of salad, which (guess what) has chicken in it. "But that's no problem, you can just pick out the chicken or eat around it, right?"



Argh!



Anyway, AccidentalVeg, when I get those frustrated feelings, I smile at everyone and tell myself that it ain't worth getting stressed out over it. It's my suggestion that you try that as a mantra whenever you feel like punching a hole in the wall...

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#10 Old 01-18-2005, 02:47 AM
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I know how you feel. I feel like I am starving at times. My husband also says to our daughter "Yeah my baby is eating meat!!" Of course that makes her feel good so most of the time all she ever wants to eat at supper time is the meat and no side dishes at all. UGH
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#11 Old 01-18-2005, 06:26 AM
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My 20 year old son is going through this Vegan anger thing also...he now ONLY buys and prepares his own food, he will not eat out at all, he doesn't trust anybody's cooking but his own. since he became Vegan, he has been acting obssesive about eating. he is losing weight rapidly, I try to always remind him to keep researching and try new things....he just moved to Nashville TN for college last week and I am so worried about his eating enough. Does anyone know any good Vegan stores around that area?
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#12 Old 01-18-2005, 06:30 AM
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....he just moved to Nashville TN for college last week and I am so worried about his eating enough. Does anyone know any good Vegan stores around that area?



Lucky him! There are two Wild Oats stores in Nashville. Too bad there aren't more restaraunts.



http://www.happycow.net/north_americ...lle/index.html
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#13 Old 01-18-2005, 06:34 AM
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I can definitely relate about the food choices at restaurants, family gatherings, work potlucks, even the 'lunch' after my father-in-law's funeral. (Luckily my husband is a picky eater, so I wasn't the only one not loading up a plate.) I just don't go anywhere anymore. Unless I'm at a veg/vegan restaurant, I'm not comfortable. And I don't trust anyone! My husband's aunt said that the green beans in the small bowl had no broth or meat, and I said, "uh huh."
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#14 Old 01-18-2005, 07:18 AM
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I never went through an angry vegetarian stage either, but I have been a vegetarian for over 10 years. I think it's probably because you are new at it, after a while people around you will be more accepting and you will be more comfortable eating out. After a while you automatically know where you can eat out and what you can order, you will no longer have to ask all those questions.



Keep in mind when getting angry at other people that they didn't just become vegetarian. I say this because you have been a vegetarian for 7 months, now you notice all these things. Prior to that you most likely would have been doing just as they are doing.



One thing about the lady giving your daughter something with gelatin in it- most people that are not vegetarians have no idea what gelatin is. She most likely didn't realize she gave her something that wasn't vegetarian. A year ago you probably didn't know that gelatin was non-vegetarian. It just goes back to how I was saying that you now notice all these things.



Hang in there, it gets easier if you let it get easier. :-)
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#15 Old 01-18-2005, 10:21 AM
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One thing about the lady giving your daughter something with gelatin in it- most people that are not vegetarians have no idea what gelatin is. She most likely didn't realize she gave her something that wasn't vegetarian. A year ago you probably didn't know that gelatin was non-vegetarian. It just goes back to how I was saying that you now notice all these things.



I know in my heart you are right. That people are perfectly happy to accept what's in the food they buy without looking or thinking about it because as many of them tell me, life's too short (ironically it's shorter for people who eat badly but I usually let that one slide on by).



What bugs me in general and bugged me about this lady and many, many others was the eyeroll. Maybe you've seen the eyeroll. She said "God! What's wrong with gelatin?" I tried to explain it. "It's made from animal by-products." She went further. "What parts?!" "Skin, hooves and bones, rendered in a large vat. Then clarified, artificially flavoured and sold as a kid's treat or put into things as thickeners." Instant eyeroll. She did not believe me. I did not yell at her. I just acted vaguely unsettled which maybe was not cool. I let my daughter finish the yogurt and explained that I am trying like hell to minimise the amount of animal products she eats too. She said she was sorry and I too apologised for not being clearer. I know it won't kill my kid to eat gelatin at other people's houses. It just...makes me feel all squeamish.



I have officially gotten to the "eating dead things is 100% repulsive" stage and the eyerolling thing is likely a reaction to my obvious discomfort. It's taken as a judgement of the diets of others when you don't eat the things they love. I say they should eat what they enjoy and not give me such a hard time for doing the same.



It is really tough as a mom as other's have echoed. My kid is a tall, strapping, near-4-year-old. She's been eating what I eat at home for the last 6 months with almost no complaints about the lack of flesh foods. She has not lost an ounce of weight. In fact she's gained nearly 2 and half pounds. When another mom tell me that I will stunt her growth by denying her animal flesh protein I want to roll MY eyes and maybe worse. I feed her lacto-ovo. She gets LOADS of protein. She's tucking into home-made crepes stuffed with Tofutti as I type.



Just sick of it all. I will cheer up. Really.



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#16 Old 01-18-2005, 10:39 AM
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It really bugs me the way other people don't get why its a big deal that I eat only things that are vegetarian! Some restaurants are great about it, but others are just plain rude. This past summer my husband & I were out to dinner at an Italian place & I asked if an certain entree is completely vegetarian. I was told "yes" so I ordered it. As I was eating it I suddenly tasted something very strange & gross. Being the dork that I am I discreetly spit it into my napkin. It was chicken! And there was more of it burried in the sauce. When I mentioned this to the waitress her response was, "yeah, so?" She just couldn't get it through her head that I could not & would not eat something that had chicken in it. Another time my husband ordered a salad & asked if it could be made w/"no cheese." They agreed & then actually burried the cheese under a layer of lettuce. When he mentioned it the response was, "yeah, theres cheese on it, thats how we make it." Then why say you did they say they could make it w/o cheese?!! Theres my rant for the day!
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#17 Old 01-18-2005, 10:43 AM
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AccidentalVeg, I agree w/ your posts so strongly!! I too find it incredible that people eat the crap they do, & expect us to do the same no matter how clear we are about it!!!

Re restaurants I have learned that when I am going out to eat in my city, there are only 4 restaurants I can eat well @, so I insist my friend or relative eat there too.

I too am sick & tired of places that offer 400 meat dishes while expecting us to pay $10 for a pile of iceberg lettuce & crap dressing. I am fed up w/ sitting watching omnis eat a big meal while I have a bag of plain chips & juice.

I don't know what advice to give you, but the likes of us need to stay strong in the face of all this pressure to passively consume animal products to fit in & not rock the boat.

* desperately hopes Foxy wins the lottery & opens her organic vegan chain of restaurants*
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#18 Old 01-18-2005, 10:51 AM
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I know,I just went out to a wonderful resatuarant for dinner with my man and there was ONE item I could eat..a veggie pasta.No thought to that..no trouble.Something I could make at home.What is the matter with these people!?



Somebody open up more restaurants!!! grrrrr.Now I am mad,too.
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#19 Old 01-18-2005, 11:20 AM
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* desperately hopes Foxy wins the lottery & opens her organic vegan chain of restaurants*



Seriously. Foxy, dear? When my shp comes in you get funding from me.



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#20 Old 01-18-2005, 11:41 AM
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Y'know, I read somewhere some years ago that Russell Simmons was planning on opening a chain of vegetarian soul food restaurants! What happened with that?



ETA: OK, it was one restaurant and it was back in 2000!



http://www.caringconsumer.com/animal...r2000/rec.html

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#21 Old 01-18-2005, 12:39 PM
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im at 2 years vegan, and everyday im a more angry veggiehead. im angry that im forced to live in a toxic society, and that i was tricked into eating foods that will punish my body for the rest of my existence. it wasn't fair, and likely will never be fair. i walk to class bc its only about a 15-20 min walk, but i pass krispy kreme, kfc, pizza hut, backyard burger.. etc etc... the stenches are invading, repulsive, and frusterate me every single day. people abusing technology zipping around in their suv's and freaking running over my mp3 player fluster me as well.



i console in the fact that im infinitely more in touch with reality than 99% of the people around me, and that i am getting closer and closer to knowing how to successfuly exist on this planet.... and be.. wait for it... happy. im greatful as well that i know now what food means to an animal.



i feel the path through veganism, more natural thinking, and being connected with the ANIMAL in me (im 100% an animal, like our kitty) has completely changed the way i interact with the world and the way i approach things logisticly. this has DEFINITELY distanced me with pretty much everyone i interact with and is a painfuly lonely road.. but there simply is no going back.



i know from my new physical composition, the way the food i eat moves through my body, my infinite stamina, my clear headedness, and simply how much more vibrant colors are... i know that the detachment from socially accepted human "progression" (hah) has changed my life for the positive. :]



the moral of the story is you have only begun to experience what this new thought has to offer, as have i.. and i hope you are as excited as i am to see where all this can go..
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#22 Old 01-18-2005, 12:49 PM
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What a great chain of support here! Way to go VB'ers!!



I've had plenty-o-veggie-rage myself in the last year. Lots of loud and tearful arguments with my omni bf. We need to figure out a compromise or understanding before any children come into the picture. Thank God I still have that choice.



I wish I could give some wisdom, but I'm pretty much in the same angry boat. My strategy is really just to try my hardest not to piss anyone off by condemning them for their food choices, and to remind myself that my choices are my own - to satisfy my own moral code, not anyone else's. I'll try to be an example through my actions and show compassion so that others can see how important this is to me.



Example - this morning on our commute we saw a a livestock transporter (my internal reaction is "Oh God, I hate seeing these trucks - I wonder how many of those animals are injured and paralysed with fear"). This morning it was -21 degrees celsius, -6 farenheit - insane cold - flesh can freeze within mere minutes. I pointed and said "Look, you can see the animals' breath coming out the sides of the truck". My boyfriend said, "that's terrible". And he meant it. I think the connection between that cruelty and what is so often on his plate, is finally coming together. I kept my opinion out of the conversation, and I think that allowed him to reflect on the situation without being thrown into a confrontation.



Being vegetarian is a part of me, and after 11 years I cannot, and will not change it! You supportive people rock!!
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#23 Old 01-18-2005, 12:50 PM
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im at 2 years vegan, and everyday im a more angry veggiehead. im angry that im forced to live in a toxic society, and that i was tricked into eating foods that will punish my body for the rest of my existence. it wasn't fair, and likely will never be fair. i walk to class bc its only about a 15-20 min walk, but i pass krispy kreme, kfc, pizza hut, backyard burger.. etc etc... the stenches are invading, repulsive, and frusterate me every single day. people abusing technology zipping around in their suv's and freaking running over my mp3 player fluster me as well.



i console in the fact that im infinitely more in touch with reality than 99% of the people around me, and that i am getting closer and closer to knowing how to successfuly exist on this planet.... and be.. wait for it... happy. im greatful as well that i know now what food means to an animal.



i feel the path through veganism, more natural thinking, and being connected with the ANIMAL in me (im 100% an animal, like our kitty) has completely changed the way i interact with the world and the way i approach things logisticly. this has DEFINITELY distanced me with pretty much everyone i interact with and is a painfuly lonely road.. but there simply is no going back.



i know from my new physical composition, the way the food i eat moves through my body, my infinite stamina, my clear headedness, and simply how much more vibrant colors are... i know that the detachment from socially accepted human "progression" (hah) has changed my life for the positive. :]



the moral of the story is you have only begun to experience what this new thought has to offer, as have i.. and i hope you are as excited as i am to see where all this can go..



Trey, that's...that's...BEAUTIFUL

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#24 Old 01-18-2005, 02:03 PM
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Channel the anger. Use it. Make the world a better place.



And good luck dealing with the mire that drags you down.
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#25 Old 01-18-2005, 02:20 PM
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There are days when I get sick of watching everyone at the table scarf down on shrimp, steaks, chicken nuggets, fried cheese, etc, while my dinner is a basket of fries, because that's the only thing they have on the menu I can be sure of. (You have no idea how many fries I've eaten over the last 6 months )



Living in an omni house doesn't help either. We went out with friends the other night (Red Lobster was the restaurant choice, complete with that Death Row tank in the lobby ) and, as usual, a box got taken home. To make a long story short, the easiest way to trap me in the back of the house is to microwave some leftover shrimp. Stunk up the whole damn house!







I just try to remember that my dietary choices are not limiting, but rather the rest of my culture is. Something about the USA says, "It must have cheese on it! It must be served with meat!" That's limiting, IMO. Especially when it squeezes out all of the wonderful food that doesn't involve more animals than the one eating it.



At the end of the day, it comes down to a decision I have made, because I hate terror and suffering, to eliminate them from my diet. It sucks that I live in a culture that doesn't cater to that attitude, but I'd rather put up with inconvenience than contribute to the cruelty industry. Still, sometimes...







The Rev
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#26 Old 01-18-2005, 02:51 PM
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I get annoyed (not truly angry) by omni restaurants out here. You can only order so many cheeseless pizzas before getting bored. I get REALLY annoyed when overweight and unhealthy omnis tell me that my diet is unhealthy because it doesn't contain slabs o' dead animal.



I've been lucky in that there is a hare krishna temple nearby, so there is at least a small vegetarian consumer base around. My husband and I have started going (exclusively, pretty much) to one indian restaurant that is amazing on so many levels. 1) They know what the word "vegan" means. 2) After we mentioned we were vegan, they added a note to their menu saying that vegan variations exist for many of the vegetarian entrees. 3) They have GREAT food.



If you can find a good restaurant and become regular customers, it becomes easier. At the Indian restaurant we go to most of the staff know us, and know what we will or wont eat. They'll even warn us if something seemingly vegan on their menu has milk. We're in the middle of nowhere, Utah, right now, so if we can find something I imagine that most people can if they keep at it long enough. It is frustrating, though, that the choices are so limited.
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#27 Old 01-18-2005, 03:00 PM
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the easiest way to trap me in the back of the house is to microwave some leftover shrimp. Stunk up the whole damn house!



GROAN



That's what I deal with on a constant basis, 5 days out of every week, when I'm at work, because my office is situated right next to the break/lunch room. The rancid stench of everybody else's lunches consisting of cooked animal flesh and animal products (cheese) circulating in that room and floating out of it makes me gag and run for cover, every time.

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#28 Old 01-18-2005, 03:02 PM
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Going to a restaurant to find that the only thing edible is a salad really pisses me off. I don't even trust the fries because who knows what sorts of meat crap is fried in the same oil.



And how is it that people don't get that chicken broth is not vegetarian??



Then there's all the hidden things in various products. I just don't understand the need to have so many of the animal by-products in things that really don't need them at all.
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#29 Old 01-18-2005, 03:08 PM
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I totally understand!! I just keeping reminding myself that most people are ignorant about animals & in general about the veg. lifestyle. I remind myself why I am doing this & it makes me feel better. I don't eat at restaurants much for that reason. It's definately difficult but so very worth it!
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#30 Old 01-18-2005, 04:23 PM
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Huge shout out to the Rev and Amy about coworker food smelliness.



I live in Houston, but it appears that most of my older coworkers were transplants from New Orleans or the Deep South, because every morning I have the glorious office smell of homemade sausage and other southern delicacies. The sausage is what gets me, though--it stinks up the whole office. We used to have a rule that all food had to be eaten in the cafeteria, but I guess that changed when the company figured out if you ate at your desk you could work at the same time, too.



I just don't get the everyday sausage thing--but I have been repeatedly told it's a "southern thing", is this true?
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