Veggie Regular
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 2,477
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*family was making some crustacean cocktails*
Sister - "Hey Lee, come out here for a minute. We need your help."
Me - "With dead animals?"
Dad - "Yes. Hurry up."
Sure, that seems logical...
Sister - "Hey Lee, come out here for a minute. We need your help."
Me - "With dead animals?"
Dad - "Yes. Hurry up."
Sure, that seems logical...
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Beginner
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 166
Okay, so me, my friend, and my friend's friend who i never met before are at this japanese joint. I arrived first, so i had already ordered a bowl of edemame to snack on while I waited for them.
so, my friend and my friend's friend sit down at the table.
friend: watcha eating?
me: edemame
friend: whats that?
me: soy beans
friends friend: eww, your nasty! (nice meeting you too eh-hole)
friend: I didn't know vegetarians couldnt eat beans
me: what?
friend: didnt you say those were soy beans?
me: yeah
friend: if beans were vegetarian why would you have to eat soy beans instead of regular beans?
me: do you even know what soy is?
friend: its a meat substitute
me: no, actually its a bean plant from asia
friend: so they mash up the soy into little bean shaped things?
me: no, there is a plant called soy, they pick the pods off and they are little beans inside
friend: so why cant you eat regular beans then?
me: soy beans are regular beans, just a different kind
later on, i order some sushi
friends friend: I thought you were a vegetarian
me: i am
friends friend: then why are you eating sushi?
me: many kinds of sushi do not have fish in it.
friend: is it tofu sushi or somthing?
me: well, there some tofu in it
friends friend and friend: eww!
me: what are you ewwing about, between the two of you you hav eaten about 10 pounds worth of sushi in the past ten minuites, hell, the sushi you are eating now has tofu in it, lots of kinds of sushi has tofu in it.
friend's friend: I didn't know this was a vegetarian restraunt, i think im going to be sick
me: this is not a vegegarian restraunt, you just ordered some chicken dish about a minuite ago
friends friend: if its not a vegetarian restraunt than why did they put tofu in the sushi?
me: because thats how they make lots of sushi, they do it in japan like that too
friends friend: i didnt know the japanese were all vegetarians
me: there not
friends friend: then why do they eat tofu?
me: do you even know what tofu is?
friends friend: the stuff vegetarians eat
it only went downhill from that point, but it was amusing at least
so, my friend and my friend's friend sit down at the table.
friend: watcha eating?
me: edemame
friend: whats that?
me: soy beans
friends friend: eww, your nasty! (nice meeting you too eh-hole)
friend: I didn't know vegetarians couldnt eat beans
me: what?
friend: didnt you say those were soy beans?
me: yeah
friend: if beans were vegetarian why would you have to eat soy beans instead of regular beans?
me: do you even know what soy is?
friend: its a meat substitute
me: no, actually its a bean plant from asia
friend: so they mash up the soy into little bean shaped things?
me: no, there is a plant called soy, they pick the pods off and they are little beans inside
friend: so why cant you eat regular beans then?
me: soy beans are regular beans, just a different kind
later on, i order some sushi
friends friend: I thought you were a vegetarian
me: i am
friends friend: then why are you eating sushi?
me: many kinds of sushi do not have fish in it.
friend: is it tofu sushi or somthing?
me: well, there some tofu in it
friends friend and friend: eww!
me: what are you ewwing about, between the two of you you hav eaten about 10 pounds worth of sushi in the past ten minuites, hell, the sushi you are eating now has tofu in it, lots of kinds of sushi has tofu in it.
friend's friend: I didn't know this was a vegetarian restraunt, i think im going to be sick
me: this is not a vegegarian restraunt, you just ordered some chicken dish about a minuite ago
friends friend: if its not a vegetarian restraunt than why did they put tofu in the sushi?
me: because thats how they make lots of sushi, they do it in japan like that too
friends friend: i didnt know the japanese were all vegetarians
me: there not
friends friend: then why do they eat tofu?
me: do you even know what tofu is?
friends friend: the stuff vegetarians eat
it only went downhill from that point, but it was amusing at least
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,550
^ 
that made me want to kill something. that is the absolute most annoying thing i've ever read. i hate people.
that made me want to kill something. that is the absolute most annoying thing i've ever read. i hate people.
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Newbie
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 65
I think you need new friends, gguru1!
Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by porvida 
^ that made me want to kill something. that is the absolute most annoying thing i've ever read. i hate people.
^
that made me want to kill something. that is the absolute most annoying thing i've ever read. i hate people.Exactly!! Made me wanna hurt 'em and I don't even know 'em!
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 20,217
Are they just naturally stupid or were they just really trying hard to be pissy and annoying?
*this space not for sale*
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 9,260
Quote:
Originally Posted by gguru1
Okay, so me, my friend, and my friend's friend who i never met before are at this japanese joint. I arrived first, so i had already ordered a bowl of edemame to snack on while I waited for them.
so, my friend and my friend's friend sit down at the table.
friend: watcha eating?
me: edemame
friend: whats that?
me: soy beans
friends friend: eww, your nasty! (nice meeting you too eh-hole)
friend: I didn't know vegetarians couldnt eat beans
me: what?
friend: didnt you say those were soy beans?
me: yeah
friend: if beans were vegetarian why would you have to eat soy beans instead of regular beans?
me: do you even know what soy is?
friend: its a meat substitute
me: no, actually its a bean plant from asia
friend: so they mash up the soy into little bean shaped things?
me: no, there is a plant called soy, they pick the pods off and they are little beans inside
friend: so why cant you eat regular beans then?
me: soy beans are regular beans, just a different kind
later on, i order some sushi
friends friend: I thought you were a vegetarian
me: i am
friends friend: then why are you eating sushi?
me: many kinds of sushi do not have fish in it.
friend: is it tofu sushi or somthing?
me: well, there some tofu in it
friends friend and friend: eww!
me: what are you ewwing about, between the two of you you hav eaten about 10 pounds worth of sushi in the past ten minuites, hell, the sushi you are eating now has tofu in it, lots of kinds of sushi has tofu in it.
friend's friend: I didn't know this was a vegetarian restraunt, i think im going to be sick
me: this is not a vegegarian restraunt, you just ordered some chicken dish about a minuite ago
friends friend: if its not a vegetarian restraunt than why did they put tofu in the sushi?
me: because thats how they make lots of sushi, they do it in japan like that too
friends friend: i didnt know the japanese were all vegetarians
me: there not
friends friend: then why do they eat tofu?
me: do you even know what tofu is?
friends friend: the stuff vegetarians eat
it only went downhill from that point, but it was amusing at least
Okay, so me, my friend, and my friend's friend who i never met before are at this japanese joint. I arrived first, so i had already ordered a bowl of edemame to snack on while I waited for them.
so, my friend and my friend's friend sit down at the table.
friend: watcha eating?
me: edemame
friend: whats that?
me: soy beans
friends friend: eww, your nasty! (nice meeting you too eh-hole)
friend: I didn't know vegetarians couldnt eat beans
me: what?
friend: didnt you say those were soy beans?
me: yeah
friend: if beans were vegetarian why would you have to eat soy beans instead of regular beans?
me: do you even know what soy is?
friend: its a meat substitute
me: no, actually its a bean plant from asia
friend: so they mash up the soy into little bean shaped things?
me: no, there is a plant called soy, they pick the pods off and they are little beans inside
friend: so why cant you eat regular beans then?
me: soy beans are regular beans, just a different kind
later on, i order some sushi
friends friend: I thought you were a vegetarian
me: i am
friends friend: then why are you eating sushi?
me: many kinds of sushi do not have fish in it.
friend: is it tofu sushi or somthing?
me: well, there some tofu in it
friends friend and friend: eww!
me: what are you ewwing about, between the two of you you hav eaten about 10 pounds worth of sushi in the past ten minuites, hell, the sushi you are eating now has tofu in it, lots of kinds of sushi has tofu in it.
friend's friend: I didn't know this was a vegetarian restraunt, i think im going to be sick
me: this is not a vegegarian restraunt, you just ordered some chicken dish about a minuite ago
friends friend: if its not a vegetarian restraunt than why did they put tofu in the sushi?
me: because thats how they make lots of sushi, they do it in japan like that too
friends friend: i didnt know the japanese were all vegetarians
me: there not
friends friend: then why do they eat tofu?
me: do you even know what tofu is?
friends friend: the stuff vegetarians eat
it only went downhill from that point, but it was amusing at least
Beginner
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 166
well, they are good people, they just arent that smart about some things, but they learned and they dont ask dumb things anymore
Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by gguru1
Okay, so me, my friend, and my friend's friend who i never met before are at this japanese joint. I arrived first, so i had already ordered a bowl of edemame to snack on while I waited for them.
so, my friend and my friend's friend sit down at the table.
friend: watcha eating?
me: edemame
friend: whats that?
me: soy beans
friends friend: eww, your nasty! (nice meeting you too eh-hole)
friend: I didn't know vegetarians couldnt eat beans
me: what?
friend: didnt you say those were soy beans?
me: yeah
friend: if beans were vegetarian why would you have to eat soy beans instead of regular beans?
me: do you even know what soy is?
friend: its a meat substitute
me: no, actually its a bean plant from asia
friend: so they mash up the soy into little bean shaped things?
me: no, there is a plant called soy, they pick the pods off and they are little beans inside
friend: so why cant you eat regular beans then?
me: soy beans are regular beans, just a different kind
later on, i order some sushi
friends friend: I thought you were a vegetarian
me: i am
friends friend: then why are you eating sushi?
me: many kinds of sushi do not have fish in it.
friend: is it tofu sushi or somthing?
me: well, there some tofu in it
friends friend and friend: eww!
me: what are you ewwing about, between the two of you you hav eaten about 10 pounds worth of sushi in the past ten minuites, hell, the sushi you are eating now has tofu in it, lots of kinds of sushi has tofu in it.
friend's friend: I didn't know this was a vegetarian restraunt, i think im going to be sick
me: this is not a vegegarian restraunt, you just ordered some chicken dish about a minuite ago
friends friend: if its not a vegetarian restraunt than why did they put tofu in the sushi?
me: because thats how they make lots of sushi, they do it in japan like that too
friends friend: i didnt know the japanese were all vegetarians
me: there not
friends friend: then why do they eat tofu?
me: do you even know what tofu is?
friends friend: the stuff vegetarians eat
it only went downhill from that point, but it was amusing at least
Okay, so me, my friend, and my friend's friend who i never met before are at this japanese joint. I arrived first, so i had already ordered a bowl of edemame to snack on while I waited for them.
so, my friend and my friend's friend sit down at the table.
friend: watcha eating?
me: edemame
friend: whats that?
me: soy beans
friends friend: eww, your nasty! (nice meeting you too eh-hole)
friend: I didn't know vegetarians couldnt eat beans
me: what?
friend: didnt you say those were soy beans?
me: yeah
friend: if beans were vegetarian why would you have to eat soy beans instead of regular beans?
me: do you even know what soy is?
friend: its a meat substitute
me: no, actually its a bean plant from asia
friend: so they mash up the soy into little bean shaped things?
me: no, there is a plant called soy, they pick the pods off and they are little beans inside
friend: so why cant you eat regular beans then?
me: soy beans are regular beans, just a different kind
later on, i order some sushi
friends friend: I thought you were a vegetarian
me: i am
friends friend: then why are you eating sushi?
me: many kinds of sushi do not have fish in it.
friend: is it tofu sushi or somthing?
me: well, there some tofu in it
friends friend and friend: eww!
me: what are you ewwing about, between the two of you you hav eaten about 10 pounds worth of sushi in the past ten minuites, hell, the sushi you are eating now has tofu in it, lots of kinds of sushi has tofu in it.
friend's friend: I didn't know this was a vegetarian restraunt, i think im going to be sick
me: this is not a vegegarian restraunt, you just ordered some chicken dish about a minuite ago
friends friend: if its not a vegetarian restraunt than why did they put tofu in the sushi?
me: because thats how they make lots of sushi, they do it in japan like that too
friends friend: i didnt know the japanese were all vegetarians
me: there not
friends friend: then why do they eat tofu?
me: do you even know what tofu is?
friends friend: the stuff vegetarians eat
it only went downhill from that point, but it was amusing at least
Who's on first?
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 15,684
gguru, that was one of the most HILARIOUS stories I have read in awhile! While it was happening, I'm sure it was frustrating, but reading about it takes the cake!
Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1001...one to change the bulb, 1000 to say it's already been done.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,309
I was having dinner with my mom today and I was having tofurky and stuffing (which was made seperate from the regular stuffing that was put inside the actual turkey). My mother was eating turkey and the stuffing from inside the turkey.
Anyway, my mom made an odd face at my tofurky and said "That's such a gross food. How can you eat that?"
I said "You're eating stuffin out of a dead bird's vagina and MY food is disgusting? Riiiiight."
Anyway, my mom made an odd face at my tofurky and said "That's such a gross food. How can you eat that?"
I said "You're eating stuffin out of a dead bird's vagina and MY food is disgusting? Riiiiight."
Newbie
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by VegKitten84
I was having dinner with my mom today and I was having tofurky and stuffing (which was made seperate from the regular stuffing that was put inside the actual turkey). My mother was eating turkey and the stuffing from inside the turkey.
Anyway, my mom made an odd face at my tofurky and said "That's such a gross food. How can you eat that?"
I said "You're eating stuffin out of a dead bird's vagina and MY food is disgusting? Riiiiight."
I was having dinner with my mom today and I was having tofurky and stuffing (which was made seperate from the regular stuffing that was put inside the actual turkey). My mother was eating turkey and the stuffing from inside the turkey.
Anyway, my mom made an odd face at my tofurky and said "That's such a gross food. How can you eat that?"
I said "You're eating stuffin out of a dead bird's vagina and MY food is disgusting? Riiiiight."
/me dies laughing
That's the best answer ever! Honestly
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Boston
Posts: 532
Quote:
Originally Posted by VegKitten84
I was having dinner with my mom today and I was having tofurky and stuffing (which was made seperate from the regular stuffing that was put inside the actual turkey). My mother was eating turkey and the stuffing from inside the turkey.
Anyway, my mom made an odd face at my tofurky and said "That's such a gross food. How can you eat that?"
I said "You're eating stuffin out of a dead bird's vagina and MY food is disgusting? Riiiiight."
I was having dinner with my mom today and I was having tofurky and stuffing (which was made seperate from the regular stuffing that was put inside the actual turkey). My mother was eating turkey and the stuffing from inside the turkey.
Anyway, my mom made an odd face at my tofurky and said "That's such a gross food. How can you eat that?"
I said "You're eating stuffin out of a dead bird's vagina and MY food is disgusting? Riiiiight."
I bet that comment went over well.
You're my hero for saying that.... someday I'll get up the nerve, but for now I usually just take it because I can't stand getting into an "argument" with people who have no facts whatsoever. It cracks me up everytime when some random person just says 'that's not true...' , then proceeds to tell me whatever their imagination thinks up. Because obviously they have much more acurate information about veg*nism and the meat industy...
PS: I love tofurky
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,203
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuntoryTime
/me dies laughing
/me dies laughing
<--- thinks he's spotted an IRC user
Newbie
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by anthony11
<--- thinks he's spotted an IRC user
<--- thinks he's spotted an IRC user
Actually, I'm not.
I got used to doing the /me thing because almost everyone I talk to online (MSN and other forums) does it too. *shrug*
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,671
The other day I was sitting with the guy I'm seeing and this woman, and she just realized I'm vegetarian, her response:
"Awww you poor thing!"
I was like what?? And gave a dirty look...and the guy I'm seeing piped up "Yeah, that's what she says too, poor thing, but about the dead animals". Nice
"Awww you poor thing!"
I was like what?? And gave a dirty look...and the guy I'm seeing piped up "Yeah, that's what she says too, poor thing, but about the dead animals". Nice
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 20,217
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluegrrrl79
The other day I was sitting with the guy I'm seeing and this woman, and she just realized I'm vegetarian, her response:
"Awww you poor thing!"
The other day I was sitting with the guy I'm seeing and this woman, and she just realized I'm vegetarian, her response:
"Awww you poor thing!"
*this space not for sale*
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 577
What, is vegetarianism an illness now? 
At least your guy had a nice comeback.
At least your guy had a nice comeback.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 15,684
A teasing friend of mine told me that he could "handle me having that disorder of vegetarianism." I laughed and told him,"Yes, I'm a happily disordered vegetarian!" He wasn't serious, and even if he were, I wouldn't waste my time getting offended.
Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1001...one to change the bulb, 1000 to say it's already been done.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 2,477
Kid - Have you got yourself checked out yet? (referring to a lecture my teacher gave me last week, saying I need to get regular checkups)
Me - Nope.
Kid - Haha, you're going to die! You know that, right? You're gonna die of mo-nutrition, or whatever that's called.
Me - Okay.
Kid - I'm not gonna die though. You know why? because I eat MEAT! And I drink MILK! That's good for me. I'm not gonna die.
Me - Nope.
Kid - Haha, you're going to die! You know that, right? You're gonna die of mo-nutrition, or whatever that's called.
Me - Okay.
Kid - I'm not gonna die though. You know why? because I eat MEAT! And I drink MILK! That's good for me. I'm not gonna die.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 20,217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gnarly
Kid - Have you got yourself checked out yet? (referring to a lecture my teacher gave me last week, saying I need to get regular checkups)
Me - Nope.
Kid - Haha, you're going to die! You know that, right? You're gonna die of mo-nutrition, or whatever that's called.
Me - Okay.
Kid - I'm not gonna die though. You know why? because I eat MEAT! And I drink MILK! That's good for me. I'm not gonna die.
Kid - Have you got yourself checked out yet? (referring to a lecture my teacher gave me last week, saying I need to get regular checkups)
Me - Nope.
Kid - Haha, you're going to die! You know that, right? You're gonna die of mo-nutrition, or whatever that's called.
Me - Okay.
Kid - I'm not gonna die though. You know why? because I eat MEAT! And I drink MILK! That's good for me. I'm not gonna die.
I don't know whether to
or do this --->
*this space not for sale*
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 15,684
The awesome thing about kids is though they soak up info from everywhere and spew it back out at you, if you can point them toward the right information, they take to it better than many adults.
Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1001...one to change the bulb, 1000 to say it's already been done.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,481
My best friend says that your body is designed to eat red meat and when you are tired or run down, that is your body's way of saying that it needs a burger or a steak. I have given up trying say otherwise
Newbie
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 74
What they hey? Your friend isnt very informed.I know a lady who gets extremely tired if she eats red meat. She was riding on the back of a motorcycle after eating beef and she feel asleep.
Beginner
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 174
Wife: Hi, I'm calling to find out if anything on your menu is free of meat and animal products.
Restaurant: Yes, the fruit salad.
Wife: Is there anything else at all? What about the oatmeal?
Restaurant: Prepared in milk.
Wife: Hashbrowns?
Restaurant: Prepared in butter.
Wife: And there's nothing else that I could order without the meat, cheese, milk, or eggs?
Restaurant: Oh sure! We have a tuna sandwich that you can get without the cheese.
Restaurant: Yes, the fruit salad.
Wife: Is there anything else at all? What about the oatmeal?
Restaurant: Prepared in milk.
Wife: Hashbrowns?
Restaurant: Prepared in butter.
Wife: And there's nothing else that I could order without the meat, cheese, milk, or eggs?
Restaurant: Oh sure! We have a tuna sandwich that you can get without the cheese.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,203
More proof that fish grow on trees
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 15,684
Mark, at least they were honest about the hashbrowns and oatmeal.
Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1001...one to change the bulb, 1000 to say it's already been done.
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,101
friend: (in frustration) "why can't you eat meat and be like normal people!"
me: (I forget what I said, but this is what I WANTED to say) "why can't you eat plants and be like compassionate people!"
me: (I forget what I said, but this is what I WANTED to say) "why can't you eat plants and be like compassionate people!"
It's not in what you say, it's in what you do (Oasis)
Feeling bored? Why don't you wander over to my blog sometime. http://thebohemiankitchen.wordpress.com
Feeling bored? Why don't you wander over to my blog sometime. http://thebohemiankitchen.wordpress.com
Veggie Regular
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 9,260
She is still alive, isn't she? 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Good Populace
What they hey? Your boyfriend isnt very informed.
I know a lady who gets extremely tired if she eats red meat. She was riding on the back of a motorcycle after eating beef and she feel asleep.
What they hey? Your boyfriend isnt very informed.I know a lady who gets extremely tired if she eats red meat. She was riding on the back of a motorcycle after eating beef and she feel asleep.
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