Biggest frustrations in being vegetarians - Page 3 - VeggieBoards
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#61 Old 01-11-2016, 11:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Spudulika View Post
Whatever you choose to do, for whatever reasons you choose to do them, is up to you. I am perplexed however at why you would want to keep on buying the same amount of meat as you used to buy when you both ate it?

I understand that you don't expect your husband to change and that you wish to maintain the long-standing mutually understood terms of your relationship, but now that you're no longer eating it why would you want to feed your husband twice as much meat as before?

Does he actually want all that extra meat in his diet? I'd be concerned about his health; lots of animal flesh and fat isn't a good thing (at least that's what most of the studies are telling us these days).
It is not like he is going to eat it all in one sitting. I can imagine the left over meat being available to him to take for lunch the next day, or even add to his supper the next night, should I make something that doesn't contain meat.

I haven't actually tried this method out yet - perhaps this plan is illogical? We only just got back from Mexico a day and a half ago, and I've been cooking meatless meals since then, so I haven't had a chance to put my plan into action.

I am appreciating all of the discussion though. I am still pretty new at all of this.
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#62 Old 01-11-2016, 12:48 PM
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I'm still not understanding, either. Why not just buy one chicken breast for him, rather than the two you used to buy for you both? You would be saving money and he would still be eating the same amount of meat as he always has. If he's not taking meat for lunch, why would he need to start now?

The reason why this is important is that the difference a vegetarian makes (aside from personal health and wellbeing, of course) essentially comes down to supply and demand. The less meat purchased, the fewer animals die, the greater the benefit to the environment, etc. By not purchasing your usual share of meat, you really are making a difference. If your husband eats twice as much meat just because you're vegetarian, then it kinda defeats the purpose, doesn't it?
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#63 Old 01-12-2016, 11:46 AM
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At the end of the day, I'm still not eating meat, which is my main goal here. I do see what you mean though. My husband loves it when I make a lunch for him, and when we don't have any leftovers, he is usually out of luck and on his own for lunch. I figured if I bought the same amount, he could just take for lunch the next day what I would have normally eaten.
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#64 Old 01-12-2016, 12:04 PM
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At the end of the day, I'm still not eating meat, which is my main goal here. I do see what you mean though. My husband loves it when I make a lunch for him, and when we don't have any leftovers, he is usually out of luck and on his own for lunch. I figured if I bought the same amount, he could just take for lunch the next day what I would have normally eaten.
Why not make him lunches that don't contain meat: peanut butter sandwiches, hummus with pita bread and veggies, pasta salad...? Or, if you mean that he ONLY takes leftovers for lunch, why not set aside a portion of his (meaty) dinner, or a portion of your vegetarian one? It just seems really odd to me that your husband is going to eat all the meat you would normally eat. It seems unnecessary. Maybe I'm missing something.
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#65 Old 01-12-2016, 12:18 PM
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Why not make him lunches that don't contain meat: peanut butter sandwiches, hummus with pita bread and veggies, pasta salad...? Or, if you mean that he ONLY takes leftovers for lunch, why not set aside a portion of his (meaty) dinner, or a portion of your vegetarian one? It just seems really odd to me that your husband is going to eat all the meat you would normally eat. It seems unnecessary. Maybe I'm missing something.
He needs protein. He started lifting weights one year ago, and has been working hard to increase his muscle mass. He just barely got enough protein when I WAS eating meat, so if I start sending him with veggie based lunches, he definitely won't be getting enough.
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#66 Old 01-12-2016, 12:54 PM
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He needs protein. He started lifting weights one year ago, and has been working hard to increase his muscle mass. He just barely got enough protein when I WAS eating meat, so if I start sending him with veggie based lunches, he definitely won't be getting enough.
Erm ... so where are YOU getting your share of protein from then?!

Of course he can get enough protein on a veggie, or even vegan diet. Take a look at the vegan MMA and bodybuilding sites for information on high protein sources.

I'm with the others that if you feed your husband twice as much meat then you really haven't made a difference by going vegetarian. You are also promoting the myth that you cannot get enough protein on a plant based diet
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#67 Old 01-12-2016, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Ashalicious View Post
He needs protein. He started lifting weights one year ago, and has been working hard to increase his muscle mass. He just barely got enough protein when I WAS eating meat, so if I start sending him with veggie based lunches, he definitely won't be getting enough.
Vegetarians don't tend to be protein deficient, as a great many plant foods are rich in protein. In addition to the suggestions I gave (peanut butter, hummus), there's lentils, chickpeas, tofu, tempeh, seitan, baked beans, burritos, quinoa, peas, whole grains like pasta and bread... Even potatoes and many popular vegetables contain protein. Plus, he's still getting protein from the meat he eats now, so why would you need to add more meat on top of that? It doesn't add up.

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#68 Old 01-12-2016, 05:15 PM
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#69 Old 01-12-2016, 05:16 PM
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Erm ... so where are YOU getting your share of protein from then?!

Of course he can get enough protein on a veggie, or even vegan diet. Take a look at the vegan MMA and bodybuilding sites for information on high protein sources.

I'm with the others that if you feed your husband twice as much meat then you really haven't made a difference by going vegetarian. You are also promoting the myth that you cannot get enough protein on a plant based diet
I am getting my protein from other things. My husband has said that he doesn't want to get his protein from other things, he wants to get it from meat. We never had enough meat for him when I was eating my share of it, and now we will. It makes complete sense.

To say that I am not making a difference by going vegetarian is absolutely correct, now that I think about it. I'm not trying to make a difference. I decided to stop eating meat because I was served dog in Mexico, and it made me ill for several days. I thought I was going to choke on my own vomit and die on that bathroom floor.

I didn't know this forum was for self righteous vegetarians only. I guess you have a lot to teach me.
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#70 Old 01-12-2016, 05:31 PM
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who's being self-righteous? i made the mistake of thinking that eating a dog broke through the disconnect of eating sentient life.
Pointing out that a entirely plant based diet is as efficient (or more so) at building muscle and endurance? You had made it sound as though you made the connection that eating a dog is the same as eating any other animal. No one said you should make your husband change his diet, but you're actively increasing his consumption of animals.

Why did you really give up meat?
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#71 Old 01-12-2016, 05:38 PM
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I didn't know this forum was for self righteous vegetarians only. I guess you have a lot to teach me.
Yes I do.

Lesson # 1 - It's also a forum for self righteous vegans too - like me

Jokes aside, as I previously posted it is very easy to get all the protein (and more) that you need on a vegetarian diet, there's no need to eat meat. Check out the veggie/vegan bodybuilding forums I mentioned for details on how to get lots of protein from plants. Of course if he wants to eat meat rather than explore other options then I guess that's what he'll do.

As far as getting sick from eating "dog" is concerned, I doubt that was the reason for your illness. As you said yourself, you don't actually know what meat you were served. Uncooked, badly prepared, poorly stored, out of date pork/beef/chicken etc. is more likely to have had that effect. Unless, of course, you are allergic to dog.

It's good that you have cut out meat, for whatever reason. It's not so good that your partner is going to eat your 'share' - for his health if nothing else.

Last edited by QuietVegan; 01-12-2016 at 06:00 PM. Reason: OCD about typos/spelling errors
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#72 Old 01-12-2016, 05:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Ashalicious View Post
I am getting my protein from other things. My husband has said that he doesn't want to get his protein from other things, he wants to get it from meat. We never had enough meat for him when I was eating my share of it, and now we will. It makes complete sense.

To say that I am not making a difference by going vegetarian is absolutely correct, now that I think about it. I'm not trying to make a difference. I decided to stop eating meat because I was served dog in Mexico, and it made me ill for several days. I thought I was going to choke on my own vomit and die on that bathroom floor.

I didn't know this forum was for self righteous vegetarians only. I guess you have a lot to teach me.
Why only from meat? I guess he believes the myth that only meat is a complete protein... Check out Jon Venus on YouTube. He's a vegan bodybuilder (I'm not saying to make your husband vegan, but it would show that you can build muscle/maintain muscle eating some vegan protein).

Most people on this forum went vegetarian and vegan for ethical reasons (including myself), so it's disappointing that your husband will get your share of meat, and the same amount of animals will still suffer.

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#73 Old 01-12-2016, 06:46 PM
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I will be making a difference, because while I'll be buying and cooking the same amount of meat as I did when I was eating it, I will also only have to buy it half as often.

Also, while there are plenty of non-meat options for getting protein, my husband has clearly stated that he does not want to stop eating meat. I don't have any problem with this!

Further more, because I am no longer eating meat, I will be making more vegetarian based meals, that my husband will also be eating. If there is meat in the house, left over from a previous dinner, lets say, then he can add that to whatever vegetarian meal I'm cooking up. I am not going to go out of my way to feed the guy double the amount of meat he was eating before.

I think I just worded things wrong in my previous posts, which is why we are all unable to see eye to eye on things here.
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#74 Old 01-12-2016, 06:56 PM
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Deleted previous post as I think some wires have crossed.

* off to bed *

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#75 Old 01-12-2016, 07:01 PM
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I will be making a difference, because while I'll be buying and cooking the same amount of meat as I did when I was eating it, I will also only have to buy it half as often.

Also, while there are plenty of non-meat options for getting protein, my husband has clearly stated that he does not want to stop eating meat. I don't have any problem with this!

Further more, because I am no longer eating meat, I will be making more vegetarian based meals, that my husband will also be eating. If there is meat in the house, left over from a previous dinner, lets say, then he can add that to whatever vegetarian meal I'm cooking up. I am not going to go out of my way to feed the guy double the amount of meat he was eating before.

I think I just worded things wrong in my previous posts, which is why we are all unable to see eye to eye on things here.
This sentence is very confusing. Are you going to buy less meat, or just buy it less often?
For example: If you buy 4 steaks per month rather than 2 every 2 weeks, you are buying it less often, but still the same amount. Thus not making a difference. What makes a difference is buying less quantity of meat, not buying it less often.

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#76 Old 01-12-2016, 07:56 PM
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Oh my ****ing god.
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#77 Old 01-13-2016, 01:57 AM
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To clarify, the only problem you have with eating a dog is that it made you sick? In the case of a sentient individual who had to suffer and die so that you could eat something that you don't even need, YOU'RE the victim because you got a tummy ache? If we're self-righteous, at least we aren't selfish.
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#78 Old 01-13-2016, 02:12 AM
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Oh my ****ing god.
I'm not sure that really answers the question.

Ashalicious, we're not being deliberately nasty/self righteous/whatever it's just that you seem to be contradicting yourself. Your posts are kind of confusing and I think that's what is causing an issue here.

The impression you give is that he will eat your share of the meat and therefore you will not be buying less meat than you were previously.

So, just to clarify - will you be buying less meat overall per week/month/year now you no longer consume it?

e.g. previously bought 4 chicken breasts per week (208 per annum) but will now buy 2 per week (104 per annum)

I'm not being deliberately provocative, I just want to understand what it is you are saying
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#79 Old 01-13-2016, 12:19 PM
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So, just to clarify - will you be buying less meat overall per week/month/year now you no longer consume it?
I think so. I mean, I've only been home for a week, and I've already purchased less meat overall than I normally would have, had I been eating it. When I was at the market though, I did buy a whole chicken for my husband, as I normally would have, instead of a half chicken. It has lasted much longer though, because he is the only one eating it.

In the past, I would have had to go back to the market for more meat and other provisions by this time.

I understand where people are coming from, don't get me wrong. What I don't appreciate is the saying of things like "You're really not making a difference" and "What is the point of you even going vegetarian" (sorry if these quotes aren't word for word verbatim). This is suppose to be a place for support, and at the end of the day, I am making a difference, albeit a small one. My not eating meat is one less hamburger or steak or rack of ribs ordered in a restaurant, or one less BLT sandwich or three meat chili my husband purchases at lunch, because he's been sent with a packed lunch. And even though I will sometimes purchase the same amount of meat on a single market visit, as a result of this, I may not need to purchase ANY meat on the next visit to the market.
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#80 Old 01-13-2016, 12:54 PM
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I think so. I mean, I've only been home for a week, and I've already purchased less meat overall than I normally would have, had I been eating it. When I was at the market though, I did buy a whole chicken for my husband, as I normally would have, instead of a half chicken. It has lasted much longer though, because he is the only one eating it.

In the past, I would have had to go back to the market for more meat and other provisions by this time.

I understand where people are coming from, don't get me wrong. What I don't appreciate is the saying of things like "You're really not making a difference" and "What is the point of you even going vegetarian" (sorry if these quotes aren't word for word verbatim). This is suppose to be a place for support, and at the end of the day, I am making a difference, albeit a small one. My not eating meat is one less hamburger or steak or rack of ribs ordered in a restaurant, or one less BLT sandwich or three meat chili my husband purchases at lunch, because he's been sent with a packed lunch. And even though I will sometimes purchase the same amount of meat on a single market visit, as a result of this, I may not need to purchase ANY meat on the next visit to the market.
It sounds like you're buying less meat overall, then, which makes more sense. To be fair, the way you originally worded it made it seem like the equivalent of your saying, "I'm buying the same amount of meat as always, but I'm throwing it in the trash instead of eating it because I'm vegetarian," which is why we were confused. It's buying the meat that's the problem, not eating it.
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#81 Old 01-13-2016, 01:06 PM
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I understand where people are coming from, don't get me wrong. What I don't appreciate is the saying of things like "You're really not making a difference" and "What is the point of you even going vegetarian"
The reason we were saying that is because your posts read as if your husband would be eating double the amount, hence no overall reduction.

Now you've clarified that's not the case then it's clear that you are making a difference. Apologies if I offended you.

You will get lots of support here and I'm sure someone can come up with a few recipes that will make your husband happy to eat more plant based meals
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#82 Old 01-13-2016, 01:51 PM
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You know it's not like she's been veg'n that long !
Takes time to adjust-her and her hubby
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#83 Old 01-14-2016, 02:31 AM
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You know it's not like she's been veg'n that long !
Takes time to adjust-her and her hubby
I don't see how that's relevant? It's not like there's a struggle in picking up less meat at the grocery store, some kind of psychological block we need to work to overcome.

(Anyway, it looks like it was a misunderstanding. Sure, she's buying the same amount of meat, but if it's lasting twice as long then she's effectively buying half as much meat.)
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#84 Old 01-14-2016, 02:48 AM
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I don't see how that's relevant? It's not like there's a struggle in picking up less meat at the grocery store, some kind of psychological block we need to work to overcome.

(Anyway, it looks like it was a misunderstanding. Sure, she's buying the same amount of meat, but if it's lasting twice as long then she's effectively buying half as much meat.)
Well yes, there was a misunderstanding, but I really think there's an adjustment period of how to go about being vegetarian before trying to change anyone elses eating habits.
Many people start with the attitude that it's everyones personal choice and don't see a problem with cooking meat. That often changes as they realize how unnecessary it is to eat meat and start feeling veg'n as normal
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#85 Old 01-14-2016, 03:12 AM
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Well yes, there was a misunderstanding, but I really think there's an adjustment period of how to go about being vegetarian before trying to change anyone elses eating habits.
Many people start with the attitude that it's everyones personal choice and don't see a problem with cooking meat. That often changes as they realize how unnecessary it is to eat meat and start feeling veg'n as normal
That wasn't the issue, though. Nobody had a problem with her continuing to cook meat for her husband. It was the (apparently mistaken) idea that she was purposefully going to cook TWICE AS MUCH meat for her husband as he was previously eating-- as in, "we usually each have a burger on Saturday, so from now on he'll have two burgers while I have a salad."
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#86 Old 01-14-2016, 11:55 AM
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I'm glad we got everything sorted out, and I apologize again for the miscommunication on my part.

I have, however, had very expensive grocery bills this week. Is that normal when adjusting to veg? I have hardly purchased any meat, but have been loading up on veggies, dips, yoghurt, granola, spices, coconut milk, SUPPLEMENTS! I am hoping this is just because of the initial diet change, and everything balances out....I used to make super simple meals with some form of protein (chicken, fish, ect) and side it with a salad or veggies, and I'm having to think of more creative things now, which is fine, but my grocery bill was almost 100 dollars more than usual. I'm assuming this is because I had to purchase some staple items, spices, supplements, ect.
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#87 Old 01-14-2016, 12:42 PM
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I'm glad we got everything sorted out, and I apologize again for the miscommunication on my part.

I have, however, had very expensive grocery bills this week. Is that normal when adjusting to veg? I have hardly purchased any meat, but have been loading up on veggies, dips, yoghurt, granola, spices, coconut milk, SUPPLEMENTS! I am hoping this is just because of the initial diet change, and everything balances out....I used to make super simple meals with some form of protein (chicken, fish, ect) and side it with a salad or veggies, and I'm having to think of more creative things now, which is fine, but my grocery bill was almost 100 dollars more than usual. I'm assuming this is because I had to purchase some staple items, spices, supplements, ect.
If meat is the only thing you cut out and are still eating dairy and eggs, there should be no need at all to purchase supplements. Focus on rice, pasta, potatoes, oatmeal, beans, peas, lentils, tofu, fruit in season (bananas are one of the cheapest and most filling fruit), and veggies. Also, maybe try soy milk or almond milk. At least where I live, I believe it's cheaper than coconut milk.

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#88 Old 01-14-2016, 04:01 PM
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If meat is the only thing you cut out and are still eating dairy and eggs, there should be no need at all to purchase supplements. Focus on rice, pasta, potatoes, oatmeal, beans, peas, lentils, tofu, fruit in season (bananas are one of the cheapest and most filling fruit), and veggies. Also, maybe try soy milk or almond milk. At least where I live, I believe it's cheaper than coconut milk.
I needed the coconut milk so I could make curry...I wouldn't drink it on its own, it doesn't have very many nutrients at all.

I'll definitely focus on beans, peas, lentils, tofu, fruit and other veggies, but I am going to be very careful about rice, pasta and potatoes. I want to stay away from the starchy carbohydrates, for obvious reasons. The only time I ever eat rice, is if I order sushi.
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#89 Old 01-14-2016, 05:33 PM
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I needed the coconut milk so I could make curry...I wouldn't drink it on its own, it doesn't have very many nutrients at all.

I'll definitely focus on beans, peas, lentils, tofu, fruit and other veggies, but I am going to be very careful about rice, pasta and potatoes. I want to stay away from the starchy carbohydrates, for obvious reasons. The only time I ever eat rice, is if I order sushi.
Complex carbohydrates are good for you. Potatoes of all kinds, brown rice, whole grain breads, quinoa, etc etc. If you focus on the low calorie foods like lentils, you will probably wind up eating more cheese and other fatty things because your body is used to the quick calorie fix of meat.
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#90 Old 01-14-2016, 05:38 PM
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I have hardly purchased any meat, but have been loading up on veggies, dips, yoghurt, granola, spices, coconut milk, SUPPLEMENTS! I am hoping this is just because of the initial diet change, and everything balances out....I used to make super simple meals with some form of protein (chicken, fish, ect) and side it with a salad or veggies, and I'm having to think of more creative things now, which is fine, but my grocery bill was almost 100 dollars more than usual. I'm assuming this is because I had to purchase some staple items, spices, supplements, ect.
I think my first couple weeks were more expensive too. After that though it is a ton cheaper as long as you are not eating a bunch of faux meats all the time. My husband eats meat but he typically eats a vegetarian dinner if he didn't want veg he could make himself meat but he is usually to lazy to do so. That said he eats meat whenever we go out and meat with his lunches. That saves us some serious money. Transitions hard on both people to begin with but my husband loves it now when we go to the grocery store he gets double the meat samplers
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