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Chou 08-13-2015 01:12 AM

Mean comments
 
I became a vegetarian about 2 months ago and there are still people who don't know about it, so whenever I inform them that I am a vegetarian now, after they get rid of the initial shock that anyone could give up on the delicious meat, they ask why, I tell them I don't wanna eat animals.

There would be no problem if they just ask about my reasons, my health condition and, you know, just having a decent conversation about it. But some of them just make mean comments about it, completely unnecessary, as I never tried to shove vegetarianism down their throat. Comments like:

Aw, you are trying to save the animals? (in a sarcastic voice)
If you love animals so much, why do you eat their food?
You're not gonna change anything, the same amount of animals will still be killed. (though I never said I wanna save the animals)

So basically I just mind my business, if they ask, I answer, but sometimes they are not waiting for my answer, start projecting bad comments to me based on their assumptions and prejudiced way of thinking, so I just stop giving them any information about ym vegetarianism, because they are not interested in it, they just wanna make mean comments.

There was even one guy that told me that I am an aggressive vegetarian, I asked why, he reminded me of an incident where I didn't want a bug to be killed just because it was in my room. Well, I just wanted it out, not killed. I don't see how this is making me an aggressive vegetarian

How do you respond to these people, what kind of bad comments have you received and how did or do you deal with them?

Radharc 08-13-2015 04:21 AM

I've been dealing with this a bit since I went vegan. One of my friends liked to make rude comments and multiple times told me that I was eating water and grass. I pretended not to care in front of him and he has since either come around or just gotten bored with being mean. I think it is sometimes a lack of understanding that causes people to be rude and in those cases I try to educate them on my beliefs while deliberately never saying the words "you should be vegetarian or vegan". I'll let them make that choice on their own.

I haven't run into anyone thus far who has been downright mean (besides the one friend, who I have a feeling my husband talked to after he saw how upset it was making me), but I'd tell them something along the lines of "I won't belittle you if you don't belittle me". If that doesn't work, it's time to walk away from the situation and the person.

Ad Elie 08-13-2015 08:13 AM

I ignore them or change subject, especially if they are people I love and I'm not in the mood to have THE talk. When they see no reaction, they stop being intersested in teasing me. I have never avoided a person because of their table behaviour.

ForestFaery 08-13-2015 08:32 AM

I am still dealing with this myself but it's mainly family who's taken to using mean comments; Typically used:

"You're a grass-eater! All you eat is grass!"
" You don't eat anything, do you? You eat air!"
"You used to maul cows, now you steal their food."
"What is that? That looks disgusting! Why don't you just eat some ham, veghead?"

They maybe attempting to joke but it's hurtful and irritating. I've gotten in the habit of just ignoring the comments and name calling, I will usually change the subject if I can. They persist whenever I'm eating and even when i'm out shopping but when I don't give them a reaction, they will stop after a while (( Only to get mad that i'm ignoring them, I can't win -__-))

Radharc 08-13-2015 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ad Elie (Post 3748081)
I ignore them or change subject, especially if they are people I love and I'm not in the mood to have THE talk. When they see no reaction, they stop being intersested in teasing me. I have never avoided a person because of their table behaviour.

I have never actually had to avoid anyone either, and if it were family or a very close long term friend I would do everything in my power to diffuse/ignore the situation. However, my personal response to most 'friends' who are being consistently rude would be to just break ties. It's hard to have a good healthy relationship with someone when it is built on disrespect. So I guess what I was/am trying to say is that it really depends on your personal situation and your attachment to the person doing the bullying.

Dogma 08-13-2015 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chou
There was even one guy that told me that I am an aggressive vegetarian,

Do you eat lettuce viciously?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chou
How do you respond to these people, what kind of bad comments have you received and how did or do you deal with them?

Well for me I just killed and ate them.

...

Seemed to shut them up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ad Elie
I ignore them or change subject, especially if they are people I love and I'm not in the mood to have THE talk.

"Alright, honey, sit down on the bed, I think it's about time we had a chat...

*sigh* There comes a time in every young man's life where he-"

"Stephanie, I'm your father and I'm 43 years old, what the hell are you talking about?"

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForestFaery
"You're a grass-eater! All you eat is grass!"
" You don't eat anything, do you? You eat air!"
"You used to maul cows, now you steal their food."
"What is that? That looks disgusting! Why don't you just eat some ham, veghead?"

Love you too, Mom.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForestFaery
They persist whenever I'm eating and even when i'm out shopping but when I don't give them a reaction, they will stop after a while (( Only to get mad that i'm ignoring them, I can't win -__-))

Vegetarians don't win. They lose intentionally.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radharc
So I guess what I was/am trying to say is that it really depends on your personal situation and your attachment to the person doing the bullying.

You know, I was just reading Batman Adventures' Mad Love today...

Vegan Dave 08-13-2015 01:06 PM

Chou,

Your situation is pretty simple to determine.

Your true FRIENDS will understand and support your decision.

Your ACQUAINTANCES will belittle and ridicule you.

Chose the former over the latter. :)

cuberail 08-13-2015 01:34 PM

i can't say that anyone has ever been mean to me in person about it.

online however, people are brutal. when they are anonymous they think they can get away with anything.

SteveW 08-13-2015 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chou (Post 3747785)
I became a vegetarian about 2 months ago and there are still people who don't know about it, so whenever I inform them that I am a vegetarian now, after they get rid of the initial shock that anyone could give up on the delicious meat, they ask why, I tell them I don't wanna eat animals.

There would be no problem if they just ask about my reasons, my health condition and, you know, just having a decent conversation about it. But some of them just make mean comments about it, completely unnecessary, as I never tried to shove vegetarianism down their throat. Comments like:

Aw, you are trying to save the animals? (in a sarcastic voice)
If you love animals so much, why do you eat their food?
You're not gonna change anything, the same amount of animals will still be killed. (though I never said I wanna save the animals)

So basically I just mind my business, if they ask, I answer, but sometimes they are not waiting for my answer, start projecting bad comments to me based on their assumptions and prejudiced way of thinking, so I just stop giving them any information about ym vegetarianism, because they are not interested in it, they just wanna make mean comments.

There was even one guy that told me that I am an aggressive vegetarian, I asked why, he reminded me of an incident where I didn't want a bug to be killed just because it was in my room. Well, I just wanted it out, not killed. I don't see how this is making me an aggressive vegetarian

How do you respond to these people, what kind of bad comments have you received and how did or do you deal with them?

I've experienced that particular one a few times.

I really don't get it, the answer is clearly yes and I try to say it as bluntly as possible.

People who make comments like the one's you mentioned are just trying bring you down to their unconscious, drone like level. They don't like it when people have values and morals.

silva 08-13-2015 03:49 PM

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

They are so ignorant and misinformed
really brush up on factual information. Like how stupid it is to waste so many plants, land and water on animals to kill. esp the amount of water, and the contamination that goes of our water supply.
Ask if they don't understand simple math. In supply and demand the supply is reduced when demand goes down. they don't breed and kill animals for nothing. More people go veg, less animals killed...

Counter health arguments like how are you getting all your (insert nutrient) by asking aren't they worried about blocked arteries, or that too much protein leaches calcium from your bones?

Call it as you see it-- if you see roadkill ask doesn't it make them hungry? If we're 'meant' to eat meat it really would

Or ignore it and find better friends. Even besides being ignorant they're incredibly mean and thoughtless

rasitha.wijesekera 08-13-2015 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chou (Post 3747785)
I became a vegetarian about 2 months ago and there are still people who don't know about it, so whenever I inform them that I am a vegetarian now, after they get rid of the initial shock that anyone could give up on the delicious meat, they ask why, I tell them I don't wanna eat animals.



There would be no problem if they just ask about my reasons, my health condition and, you know, just having a decent conversation about it. But some of them just make mean comments about it, completely unnecessary, as I never tried to shove vegetarianism down their throat. Comments like:



Aw, you are trying to save the animals? (in a sarcastic voice)

If you love animals so much, why do you eat their food?

You're not gonna change anything, the same amount of animals will still be killed. (though I never said I wanna save the animals)



So basically I just mind my business, if they ask, I answer, but sometimes they are not waiting for my answer, start projecting bad comments to me based on their assumptions and prejudiced way of thinking, so I just stop giving them any information about ym vegetarianism, because they are not interested in it, they just wanna make mean comments.



There was even one guy that told me that I am an aggressive vegetarian, I asked why, he reminded me of an incident where I didn't want a bug to be killed just because it was in my room. Well, I just wanted it out, not killed. I don't see how this is making me an aggressive vegetarian



How do you respond to these people, what kind of bad comments have you received and how did or do you deal with them?


punch them in the baby makers. That always gets them down.

Necter 08-13-2015 08:35 PM

just gently remind them that the vegan jihad is coming...

Dogma 08-14-2015 04:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silva (Post 3748665)
Call it as you see it-- if you see roadkill ask doesn't it make them hungry?

From my experience, the answer is 'Yes'.

mr_falafel 08-14-2015 06:06 AM

I think they're generally going for the hypocrite accusation. It's fairly typical for an omnivore to make remarks like, "well you eat cheese and sometimes that contains rennet" or "you sit on a leather sofa" and "you eat eggs from animals that may be kept in captivity". My thoughts on those remarks, and my probably responses are along the lines of, "yes I do, but you do all of those things IN ADDITION to eating mean, so I'm still doing a lot more good than you!"

alannon 08-14-2015 06:14 AM

I think the one comment that has stuck with me the most was from my mom. I made her a vegetarian meal and she told me that it tasted like poor people food. I responded with "why, because it doesn't have meat in it?" (emphasis on the meat) and kinda just stared at her like "what the f*** is wrong with you". This dish was actually an Indian dish containing a lot of really nice spices given to us by her boyfriend's parents who are from India. And the zucchini in it came from my own garden. So not only was she insulting me but she was insulting her boyfriend and his parents. I think she immediately realized what she said though because she started to kinda stammer for another answer as to why it tasted like "poor people food" (I thought it was delicious, by the way). I have had a whole other slew of comments from people who i know care about me, like my boyfriend saying he needed to bring meat on our camping trip because he needed "real food" which actually hurt my feelings a lot. I think sometimes people don't realize how much some of their comments hurt though. They may see it as just a joke or a simple comment, but they don't realize that we get these comments so often that it's just not funny. If vegetarianism/veganism weren't something we took seriously we wouldn't be doing it, and i think some people fail to notice that.

Tiger Lilly 08-17-2015 01:24 AM

I respond to people's mean comments, by looking at what they're actually saying. Most of the time I think people make these comments without actually thinking about what they're saying.

So, using your examples-

"Are you trying to save animals?" said in a mocking tone.

I usually respond to something like this by saying- The alternative is to not try and save the animals, I don't want to harm them. Do you have a problem with me not wanting to harm animals?

They'll usually follow up with something like "Well, you can't save all the animals".

To which I respond- No, I can't. Good thing it's not just me who's a vegetarian then.


If they approach me with the "If you love animals so much, why are you eating all their food?"

I respond with- Actually, 2/3rds of the world's crops are fed to animals. So technically, they're the ones eating your food.

If I'm feeling particularly snarky- So, if loving animals means being vegetarian....What does eating them mean?



I don't get too many nasty comments these days. It's been my experience that the people who are the nastiest and meanest, are actually the most defensive. So I try and look at their arguments as them trying desperately to not think about what they're doing. Plus, there's nothing like strong eye contact and and a raised eyebrow to tell someone to back off.

Though, my favourite response is always "I will watch 2 hours of crop harvesting videos, if you'll watch half an hour of slaughterhouse videos". Most people don't want to actually do that, so it at least gets them to shut up.

Remember, if someone attacks you for choosing to try to do less harm, then that's their problem. It's not you. They're not attacking you, they're trying to distract themselves so they don't ask themselves some hard questions.

karenlovessnow 08-17-2015 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiger Lilly (Post 3751513)
Remember, if someone attacks you for choosing to try to do less harm, then that's their problem. It's not you. They're not attacking you, they're trying to distract themselves so they don't ask themselves some hard questions.


I agree. :) And it's fear. I think fear is the motivator behind most of the bad things that happen.

Anytime you can take the high road and not retaliate in a mean way, is best, IMO.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Dogma 08-17-2015 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alannon (Post 3749161)
I made her a vegetarian meal and she told me that it tasted like poor people food.

It tasted like McDonald's?

Purp 08-17-2015 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiger Lilly (Post 3751513)
I respond to people's mean comments, by looking at what they're actually saying. Most of the time I think people make these comments without actually thinking about what they're saying.

So, using your examples-

"Are you trying to save animals?" said in a mocking tone.

I usually respond to something like this by saying- The alternative is to not try and save the animals, I don't want to harm them. Do you have a problem with me not wanting to harm animals?

They'll usually follow up with something like "Well, you can't save all the animals".

To which I respond- No, I can't. Good thing it's not just me who's a vegetarian then.


If they approach me with the "If you love animals so much, why are you eating all their food?"

I respond with- Actually, 2/3rds of the world's crops are fed to animals. So technically, they're the ones eating your food.

If I'm feeling particularly snarky- So, if loving animals means being vegetarian....What does eating them mean?



I don't get too many nasty comments these days. It's been my experience that the people who are the nastiest and meanest, are actually the most defensive. So I try and look at their arguments as them trying desperately to not think about what they're doing. Plus, there's nothing like strong eye contact and and a raised eyebrow to tell someone to back off.

Though, my favourite response is always "I will watch 2 hours of crop harvesting videos, if you'll watch half an hour of slaughterhouse videos". Most people don't want to actually do that, so it at least gets them to shut up.

Remember, if someone attacks you for choosing to try to do less harm, then that's their problem. It's not you. They're not attacking you, they're trying to distract themselves so they don't ask themselves some hard questions.

Congratulations, you have just won the internet. Also, the next time this comes up in my conversations, I am so using them. Thanks.

Tiger Lilly 08-21-2015 03:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purp (Post 3752129)
Congratulations, you have just won the internet. Also, the next time this comes up in my conversations, I am so using them. Thanks.

WELL FINALLY....It's about time I won the Internet :P

Honestly, what's helped my responses is reading a book called "But You Kill Ants" it helped me to look at the logic of what someone says to me and point to the problem with it.

It was really handy when I went veg.

VeggieSince88 08-29-2015 12:25 PM

In my 27 years (this month!), I think I've heard it all. What I've done, throughout the 27 years, is use every situation to educate people about the cruelty of the meat industry. Most people have no idea about the horrific, heinous abuse...so if you tell them, and offer to give them reading material or point them to sites with undercover videos, and then mention that you don't want THAT on your conscience, you'd be surprised. I also like to throw in, "I WAS a hypocrite, saying that I love animals, yet passively participating in the horrible cruelty to sentient beings that defines the meat industry..." it kind of puts it on them, you know? You don't have to say, "YOU'RE a hypocrite..." just "*I* WAS a hypocrite..." and it gets their brain cells cranking away. :)

Chou 09-02-2015 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VeggieSince88 (Post 3764721)
In my 27 years (this month!), I think I've heard it all. What I've done, throughout the 27 years, is use every situation to educate people about the cruelty of the meat industry. Most people have no idea about the horrific, heinous abuse...so if you tell them, and offer to give them reading material or point them to sites with undercover videos, and then mention that you don't want THAT on your conscience, you'd be surprised. I also like to throw in, "I WAS a hypocrite, saying that I love animals, yet passively participating in the horrible cruelty to sentient beings that defines the meat industry..." it kind of puts it on them, you know? You don't have to say, "YOU'RE a hypocrite..." just "*I* WAS a hypocrite..." and it gets their brain cells cranking away. :)


The hypocrite thing reminds me of that comment that I am a hypocrite because plants are also alive and they can feel pain and danger. So basically, if I cared that much about the living things, I wouldn't only stop eating animals, but also plants. So it's better if I eat both animals and plants, that way at least I wouldn't be a hypocrite.
That's another kind of comment that I got. Sometimes they amaze me.

VeggieSince88 09-02-2015 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chou (Post 3769337)
The hypocrite thing reminds me of that comment that I am a hypocrite because plants are also alive and they can feel pain and danger. So basically, if I cared that much about the living things, I wouldn't only stop eating animals, but also plants. So it's better if I eat both animals and plants, that way at least I wouldn't be a hypocrite.

I rely on my science background to counter those stupid remarks! I very gently explain that plants do not have brains and central nervous systems, as sentient beings do, therefore they're not CAPABLE of experiencing pain, fear, loss, grief, danger, etc., like 'meat' animals can. That usually shuts them up.

Quote:

That's another kind of comment that I got. Sometimes they amaze me.
Yep!

no whey jose 09-03-2015 02:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VeggieSince88 (Post 3769489)
I rely on my science background to counter those stupid remarks! I very gently explain that plants do not have brains and central nervous systems, as sentient beings do, therefore they're not CAPABLE of experiencing pain, fear, loss, grief, danger, etc., like 'meat' animals can. That usually shuts them up.



Yep!

Man, you're lucky. That never shuts them up when I try it! The other day, someone actually told me that "biology is wrong" and that you don't need a brain to be conscious.

Dogma 09-03-2015 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by no whey jose (Post 3769761)
The other day, someone actually told me that "biology is wrong" and that you don't need a brain to be conscious.

*drum roll* And my best comebacks AAARRREE..


"If biology is wrong then you could be telling me this after I've dashed your brains against a concrete wall, right?"

"That WOULD explain ghosts."

"Oh yeah, you want science, just look at Scientology."

"What must our toilets think!?"

"PHEW! That zombie apocalypse isn't looking so bad now."

"Oh no, is that what I said? That you need a brain to be conscious? I'm sorry I meant you need a brain to continue this conversation."

"I think you're referring to breathing. You don't need a brain to breathe. Also, lungs."

"Wait a second... if biology is wrong, then what do I do with this T-shirt I bought?"

http://rlv.zcache.com/biology_teache..._804gs_512.jpg

VeggieSince88 09-03-2015 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by no whey jose (Post 3769761)
Man, you're lucky. That never shuts them up when I try it! The other day, someone actually told me that "biology is wrong" and that you don't need a brain to be conscious.

Is it just me, or does anyone else see a great joke just lurking there?! Something like, "You're right. Biology is wrong, and you don't need a brain to be conscious--or to have REALLY STUPID ideas about how life works!" (Sorry, I'm no stand-up comic, but hopefully the gist of it will come through. :))

Purp 09-03-2015 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by no whey jose (Post 3769761)
Man, you're lucky. That never shuts them up when I try it! The other day, someone actually told me that "biology is wrong" and that you don't need a brain to be conscious.

I'm so sorry I wasn't there for that comment. Although you should be pretty happy I wasn't...:rolleyes: The comments that came to mind...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogma (Post 3769817)
*drum roll* And my best comebacks AAARRREE..


"If biology is wrong then you could be telling me this after I've dashed your brains against a concrete wall, right?" Me: "That is, what brains you have."

"That WOULD explain ghosts."

"Oh yeah, you want science, just look at Scientology.":lol:

"What must our toilets think!?"You know, this one made me snort my dessert of brownies and ice cream

"PHEW! That zombie apocalypse isn't looking so bad now.":lol:

"Oh no, is that what I said? That you need a brain to be conscious? I'm sorry I meant you need a brain to continue this conversation.":p

"I think you're referring to breathing. You don't need a brain to breathe. Also, lungs."

"Wait a second... if biology is wrong, then what do I do with this T-shirt I bought?"

http://rlv.zcache.com/biology_teache..._804gs_512.jpg

Quote:

Originally Posted by VeggieSince88 (Post 3769977)
Is it just me, or does anyone else see a great joke just lurking there?! Something like, "You're right. Biology is wrong, and you don't need a brain to be conscious--or to have REALLY STUPID ideas about how life works!" (Sorry, I'm no stand-up comic, but hopefully the gist of it will come through. :))

Oh, man, I'm sorry I wasn't there to comment. Veganism seems to make me snarkier then I already am...Wait, that didn't sound right.


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