Parents are making me cook beef for dinner even though I'm vegetarian? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 11-18-2014, 02:33 PM
 
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Parents are making me cook beef for dinner even though I'm vegetarian?

If I don't cook it, they'll take away my data plan, and let's face it, being able to look something up when you don't have wifi is very helpful.

I just don't know what to do. I can't taste test it like I do when I cook things to make sure they're spiced properly, and I'll feel horrible cooking it because it was a living animal...
Help?

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#2 Old 11-18-2014, 02:39 PM
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I'm a bit confused. Will you feel horrible cooking it because you can't taste test it, or because cooking meat disgusts you?

"We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form." - William Ralphe Inge

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#3 Old 11-18-2014, 02:50 PM
 
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I'm a bit confused. Will you feel horrible cooking it because you can't taste test it, or because cooking meat disgusts you?
because cooking meat disgusts me.
I edited the original post to clarify.

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#4 Old 11-18-2014, 02:57 PM
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In any other situation, I'd say to tell your parents your reason, but from your other thread it seems they're already mad at you for not eating meat. Refusing to cook it, would only make them even more mad. Do your parents usually go ahead with their "threats"?
I'm afraid there's not much you can do other than cook it, and try your best to think about happier things and not think about how it was a living animal.

"We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form." - William Ralphe Inge

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#5 Old 11-18-2014, 04:52 PM
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You need to do a really, really bad job of cooking the meat. If they like it rare, cook it well done. If they like is well-done, cook it rare. Or since you can't taste test it, over season it to the point of ridiculous. Too salty and too much pepper. Or use a spice that doesn't go with meat at all like pickle juice.

They are punishing you for being an ethical person. You need to punish them for being unethical.
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#6 Old 11-18-2014, 05:02 PM
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What amira 23 said.

Be a bad cook, so they have to eat terrible food, or let you off the hook.

Are they making you cook it as a kind of harassment, or punishment?
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All animals should be respected & should have the ability to lead a natural & enjoyable life. This means not eating them, or abusing them in any way.
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#7 Old 11-18-2014, 06:54 PM
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They are punishing you for being an ethical person. You need to punish them for being unethical.
How about not trying to punish the people that work hard to feed you, clothe you, and meet all your material needs? Your parents probably just want to see that you'll cooperate while you live in their house. No big deal. The meat's already bought, you don't have to eat it, just make what they want and forget it. You can eat vegetarian in college, make veggie meals for your friends, raise your kids vegetarian, etc. Plenty of time for that.
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#8 Old 11-18-2014, 07:08 PM
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How about not trying to punish the people that work hard to feed you, clothe you, and meet all your material needs? Your parents probably just want to see that you'll cooperate while you live in their house. No big deal. The meat's already bought, you don't have to eat it, just make what they want and forget it. You can eat vegetarian in college, make veggie meals for your friends, raise your kids vegetarian, etc. Plenty of time for that.
THIS is precisely why we need a "dislike" button. These people brought this child into a heinous world and are forcing him or her to commit atrocities and are passive-aggressively doling out punishment for the child's refusal to participate in the genocide. They have a moral and legal responsibility to work so they can feed and clothe the child they chose to create. Let's pat them on the back for doing the minimum that they're supposed to do. Talk about celebrating mediocrity.

Sorry if this rubs you the wrong way, but that would just make us even.

To OP, sorry I keep calling you a child, but I don't know if you're male or female, so I had to write the post in this fashion.
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#9 Old 11-19-2014, 05:12 AM
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Originally Posted by H=N/C View Post
How about not trying to punish the people that work hard to feed you, clothe you, and meet all your material needs? Your parents probably just want to see that you'll cooperate while you live in their house. No big deal. The meat's already bought, you don't have to eat it, just make what they want and forget it. You can eat vegetarian in college, make veggie meals for your friends, raise your kids vegetarian, etc. Plenty of time for that.
Because money is more important than the lives of animals? I guess to you and the parents, that is true. If they told him to kill his pet and cook it, would that be unethical enough for you? "A calf is a dog is a boy". Remember that one?
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#10 Old 11-19-2014, 07:32 AM
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Because money is more important than the lives of animals? I guess to you and the parents, that is true. If they told him to kill his pet and cook it, would that be unethical enough for you? "A calf is a dog is a boy". Remember that one?
I thought about this more and it's even more irritating to me today than it was when I posted last night. Children are like domesticated animals in that they depend entirely for their needs to be met by adults who are responsible for meeting the children's needs.

Just because I may adopt and provide a home to a herbivorous domesticated animal like a rabbit or guinea pig doesn't give me the right to force feed meat to that animal. Even worse would be if the animal wasn't a rescue animal, but one that I had intentionally bred and who existed in the first place only because of me.

I don't think it's a stretch to conclude that parents who force their unwilling teenage children to eat meat are guilty of child abuse.
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#11 Old 11-19-2014, 07:48 AM
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Id cook the meat, and eat something else. When you grow up and move out, you can choose to never cook it again. but sometimes as a teen you just have to deal with stuff like this.

I grew up in an abusive home, so that may color my opinion somewhat.
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#12 Old 11-19-2014, 08:06 AM
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Ok - to focus on the question at hand.

I'm confused. Why are they forcing you to cook? Is someone trying to teach you to cook - it doesn't sound like it? Is it as a favour or part of your chores or something else? Which bit do you want help with? A way to not do the cooking at all? A way to convince them to try something vegetarian?

If you're really against eating and cooking meat - would they really take away your data plan permanently or is it that they just want to make a point? Are there ways to get around not having a data plan? Are there any Wifi spots? Have you tried offering to cook something delicious and vegetarian (I'm guessing so).

If you have to make dinner and don't feel able to stand up to your parents (I get that family dynamics can be tricky) - then there are ways to do so and make a point about meat. Speaking as someone who until recently ate meat I can tell you there are a number of ways to make sure that people don't enjoy the end result.

Perhaps prepare the meat in such a way that you don't cook it at all? Most people (even meat eaters) don't like raw meat as it reminds them that it's muscle tissue. So 'make' steak tartare (a French speciality) served with pickles, chopped onion, a sprinkle of parsley and a french stick on the side. Voila! Haute cuisine on a plate.

Or if it's not ground beef already you could do carpaccio of beef! Italian speciality.

If this isn't going to go well and they love raw meat then go the other way.

If it's lean beef - roast it for a loooong time (slow cooked in the oven) it will be dry and leathery.
If it's a cheaper cut - flash fry it (stringy and chewy)
Always remember to not season anything slow cooked and over season the flash fried (Maybe with some almost raw garlic? It's a fairly strong taste).

And if you make it with a wonderful and tasty veggie side dish ... perhaps they might prefer it?

S
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#13 Old 11-19-2014, 08:11 AM
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They have a moral and legal responsibility to work so they can feed and clothe the child they chose to create. Let's pat them on the back for doing the minimum that they're supposed to do. Talk about celebrating mediocrity.
So teaching your child to walk & talk, bathing it every day for the first five years, putting it thru school, and working to support it for 20 years counts for nothing? Because parents are supposed to?

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Just because I may adopt and provide a home to a herbivorous domesticated animal like a rabbit or guinea pig doesn't give me the right to force feed meat to that animal. Even worse would be if the animal wasn't a rescue animal, but one that I had intentionally bred and who existed in the first place only because of me.
You do realize that there are many cultures around the world with very low disease rates that eat an omnivorous diet? Feeding clean meat & copious plants to a child won't make them sick. Feeding any kind of meat to a rabbit will kill it.

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Because money is more important than the lives of animals? I guess to you and the parents, that is true. If they told him to kill his pet and cook it, would that be unethical enough for you? "A calf is a dog is a boy". Remember that one?
Yup, a dog that eats its own feces and howls at everyone within 100ft is equal to a nuclear engineer.

This is why I never tell people I'm vegan. Because if I do they associate me with this...
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#14 Old 11-19-2014, 08:31 AM
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So teaching your child to walk & talk, bathing it every day for the first five years, putting it thru school, and working to support it for 20 years counts for nothing? Because parents are supposed to?
I didn't say it counts for nothing. I said doing the minimum required to be a competent parent does not build up enough equity to legitimately terrorize your teenage children. Nothing does.

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You do realize that there are many cultures around the world with very low disease rates that eat an omnivorous diet? Feeding clean meat & copious plants to a child won't make them sick. Feeding any kind of meat to a rabbit will kill it.
Of course I realize that, but the reasons for being herbivorous shouldn't matter. In the case of the rabbit, it's a biological imperative. In the case of the original poster of this thread, it's a moral imperative. I guess it's ok for savage parents to mandate that their children behave as savages as well? Sounds like something a parent who is having a hard time controlling his teenage kid would say. The kid isn't entitled to independent thought until he's 18 and out of the house. Real progressive thinking there.

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Yup, a dog that eats its own feces and howls at everyone within 100ft is equal to a nuclear engineer.
I didn't write the comment you were responding to, but I'll humor you.

"Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

Are you a nuclear engineer?
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#15 Old 11-19-2014, 05:50 PM
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I didn't say it counts for nothing. I said doing the minimum required to be a competent parent does not build up enough equity to legitimately terrorize your teenage children. Nothing does.
Let's call the OP a guy for simplicity. OP, I apologize if you're a girl.

The OP's parents already bought the meat and are telling him to cook dinner sometimes. They aren't forcing him to eat it, they just want him to do his share of the cooking. Since the animal is already dead & bought, what does it matter who cooks it? I'm just suggesting the OP not deliberately ruin his parents' dinner, which is somehow controversial here.

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I didn't write the comment you were responding to, but I'll humor you.

"Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

Are you a nuclear engineer?
I should've quoted Amira separately. I'm an electrical engineer. Many of the technical skills are similar.
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#16 Old 11-20-2014, 01:03 AM
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I didn't say it counts for nothing. I said doing the minimum required to be a competent parent does not build up enough equity to legitimately terrorize your teenage children. Nothing does.



Of course I realize that, but the reasons for being herbivorous shouldn't matter. In the case of the rabbit, it's a biological imperative. In the case of the original poster of this thread, it's a moral imperative. I guess it's ok for savage parents to mandate that their children behave as savages as well? Sounds like something a parent who is having a hard time controlling his teenage kid would say. The kid isn't entitled to independent thought until he's 18 and out of the house. Real progressive thinking there.
~Snip~

Terrorize? Really? Asking him/her to cook dinner after school, while the parents assumedly are working to buy the food, so the family can eat a home cooked meal? Terrorize?

Also assuming here that the teen is a new vegetarian, and that this isn't the first time he's been asked to prepare dinner, it seems that the best recourse would be to sit down with his parents (not during prep or while eating a meal) and tell them about his new feelings about meat eating. He could suggest that instead of cooking dinner, he could do other chores normally done by others in the family, or somehow negotiate.

And if you do have to cook the meat, OP, please don't ruin it on purpose. Your parents will just call out for a sausage pizza, and who does that help? Not the pigs! Just wear gloves, throw the flesh in a pan, set the timer, and put it in the oven. Febreeze helps with the reek.

~Parent of 2, ages 25 and 21, both wonderful adults and were great teens as well.
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#17 Old 11-20-2014, 07:59 AM
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The OP's parents already bought the meat and are telling him to cook dinner sometimes. They aren't forcing him to eat it, they just want him to do his share of the cooking. Since the animal is already dead & bought, what does it matter who cooks it? I'm just suggesting the OP not deliberately ruin his parents' dinner, which is somehow controversial here.
It matters because if OP does not completely remove his participation from the immorality of it all, that participation constitutes passive approval and encourages whoever purchased the meat to repeat that behavior.

I keep going back to this analysis of Civil Disobedience because it's so chock full of one-line pieces of wisdom.

"Instead of petitioning the government to dissolve the Union with slaveholders, Thoreau believed those reformers should dissolve 'the union between themselves and the State.'..."

As a minor, OP is a ward of his parents. He does not have the ability to leave, but more importantly, he does not have the RIGHT to leave. If he runs away and is found, he will be returned home, where presumably, his parents will attempt to force him to eat meat, or at a minimum, cook it for them to eat. He has no autonomy, or to steal a term I just learned recently, no agency. He is completely at their mercy. What was it George Carlin said in the video clip I posted on another thread the other day? He has no choice. He has OWNERS. They own him.

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Terrorize? Really? Asking him/her to cook dinner after school, while the parents assumedly are working to buy the food, so the family can eat a home cooked meal? Terrorize?

Also assuming here that the teen is a new vegetarian, and that this isn't the first time he's been asked to prepare dinner, it seems that the best recourse would be to sit down with his parents (not during prep or while eating a meal) and tell them about his new feelings about meat eating. He could suggest that instead of cooking dinner, he could do other chores normally done by others in the family, or somehow negotiate.
Are we going to be consistent in our language and behavior or only use the most accurate descriptions when it's polite and convenient? It's precisely because OP has new feelings about the issue that being forced to cook meat can be so traumatic. Visualize a scenario in which the white child of a wealthy slave owner in (OP in 2014) 1840 routinely throws rocks at slaves (eats meat) while they're out in the fields picking fruit or rice or cotton or whatever. The child does this (because he likes the taste) for his own amusement, entertainment, and pleasure. His parents like that he does this, because in part, it (maintains their perceived hierarchy of human superiority over animals) keeps the slaves in line and reminds them of who's in charge, as a result of its demeaning and undignified nature. But more importantly, it keeps the child himself in line and reassures the parents that he never challenges their routine and corrupt business (dietary) practices. Going back to George Carlin, people in positions of authority want OBEDIENT WORKERS. They want this because it's in their interest to maintain the status quo. Revolution is bad for them, and they perceive it would be bad for their own son, so they certainly don't want him to cause it or lead it.

Then one day, while out (chewing some flesh) throwing rocks at slaves yet again, one of the (vegan activists and/or a cute animal with a pouty little face and adorable eyes) slaves manages to make eye contact with the boy, and the boy has an epiphany. He realizes not only that (eating meat) throwing rocks at the slaves is wrong, but that (all forms of animal exploitation as well as all discrimination based on irrelevant criteria, such as racism, sexism, etc.) slavery itself is (are) completely immoral. He tells his parents he wants (the whole world to go vegan, including them) to free all the slaves. They tell him he doesn't have to keep (eating meat) throwing rocks at them, although they would like him to, but they're not going to (stop killing-by-remote-control and eating animals) emancipate any of the slaves they own. He doesn't have the resources or experience necessary to leave his family and live on his own, away from (factory farming) slavery. Is it so unfathomable that the boy, in spite of his status as a white male in (2014) 1840, could potentially be traumatized and terrorized by the reality of the injustice he's not only just discovered through his initial epiphany, but also by the realizations that he's virtually powerless to do anything about it, after his parents refused to (stop hurting animals) emancipate the slaves? What about the guilt of knowing he participated and contributed to it for presumably over a decade before he knew better? Not traumatic enough to warrant my use of the word terrorize? The lack of agency I discussed above is the exact reason the word is warranted, in my opinion only.
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#18 Old 11-20-2014, 08:37 AM
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OP, you won't change your parents, well probably not, if they are making you cook meat as a punishment it's very wrong of them, if it's only your chore in the house then either do it or try to discuss what other chores you could do instead. Don't go all hater and confront them, hate is bad and worthless and usually just engender more tension between family members.

Like others said when you move out you'll be your own boss, be patient. I am against seeing omnivores as mean persons, they think differently, they think like their culture raised them and it would be stupid and mean to say they are bad when WE are a minority. Your parents might be great people with nice qualities even though they are omnis (I dunno not living with them). I refuse to succomb to hate and put all omnis in the same basket, each situation is a different one.

Facing them with calm and confidence instead of heated discussion is way better, there is a way to explain without insulting or hurting feeling. Angry vegan is what make us all look so bad, teach by example not hatred.
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#19 Old 11-20-2014, 12:44 PM
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Sneak some Gardein Beefless Tips into the house and make a "beef" stew. When your parents tell you how good it is, throw the package in their faces and laugh maniacally
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#20 Old 11-20-2014, 01:05 PM
 
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Pretty sure this is a form of child abuse--unless its a chore to cook for your family on certain nights. At my house, when I cook dinner for my family its always a vegetarian meal(albeit a bit heavy on cheese).
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#21 Old 11-20-2014, 02:49 PM
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Sneak some Gardein Beefless Tips into the house and make a "beef" stew. When your parents tell you how good it is, throw the package in their faces and laugh maniacally
Gardein lists their three main ingredients as wheat gluten (allergen), soy protein isolate (carcinogen), and canola oil (oxidative stressor). Why not use mushrooms, sweet potatoes, or some other healthy foods?

OP, you talk about going vegan for ethical reasons. Why not start cooking a bunch of really healthy whole plant meals for your parents? Give them a copy of Eat to Live or the Starch Solution so they can learn about the science. Get them excited about the benefits. Wait until they're hooked on the food, losing weight, and throwing out medications. See how much cheese pizza they still want to eat.
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#22 Old 11-20-2014, 06:40 PM
 
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THIS is precisely why we need a "dislike" button. These people brought this child into a heinous world and are forcing him or her to commit atrocities and are passive-aggressively doling out punishment for the child's refusal to participate in the genocide. They have a moral and legal responsibility to work so they can feed and clothe the child they chose to create. Let's pat them on the back for doing the minimum that they're supposed to do. Talk about celebrating mediocrity.

Sorry if this rubs you the wrong way, but that would just make us even.

To OP, sorry I keep calling you a child, but I don't know if you're male or female, so I had to write the post in this fashion.
I'm a girl.
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#23 Old 11-20-2014, 06:51 PM
 
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Pretty sure this is a form of child abuse--unless its a chore to cook for your family on certain nights. At my house, when I cook dinner for my family its always a vegetarian meal(albeit a bit heavy on cheese).
It's a chore to cook once in a while. However, they don't ask me what I want to make, they simply say "make this." I protested about cooking the meat, because I don't want to cook a once living animal, but they got mad and said I had to make it.

This week my mom made it, but my dad said I have to make beef for dinner next week. Why won't they let me cook something else? I don't know.
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#24 Old 11-21-2014, 02:37 AM
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It's a chore to cook once in a while. However, they don't ask me what I want to make, they simply say "make this." I protested about cooking the meat, because I don't want to cook a once living animal, but they got mad and said I had to make it.

This week my mom made it, but my dad said I have to make beef for dinner next week. Why won't they let me cook something else? I don't know.
Ask your dad if you can cook something else instead, and have a few recipes for suggestions. If he says no, just calmly tell him that you'd rather not cook the meat, is there anything else you could do, like clean the bedrooms or do the laundry to substitute for the chore.

Being generally more helpful around the house without being asked will show your parents that you are growing up and taking responsibility.

I remember with my son, one day he sat down with me, gave me a huge hug, and thanked me for providing a home and food for him all these years. He then showed me that he had replaced the broken bathroom doorknob, and washed all the towels. I knew he was growing up then, seeing things from others' perspectives.
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#25 Old 11-21-2014, 05:40 AM
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Gardein lists their three main ingredients as wheat gluten (allergen), soy protein isolate (carcinogen), and canola oil (oxidative stressor). Why not use mushrooms, sweet potatoes, or some other healthy foods?
Because those other things don't taste like beef, and the point was to fool her parents.
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#26 Old 11-21-2014, 10:37 AM
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Because those other things don't taste like beef, and the point was to fool her parents.
You're not going to fool an omni with gardein beef tips, I bet. They have a completely different texture. Just be honest.
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#27 Old 11-21-2014, 04:22 PM
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Hi Always,

I have been thinking about this for a few days now and finally have a chance to reply. I suspect your parents are basically trying to show they can still "control" you. Whether they're trying to show you, or show themselves, I think that is what this is about. Knowing that is probably the goal, you need to decide what positive - if any - you can get out of this conflict, and what long-term consequences may come from your action. (Yeah, that sounds stuffy but stay with me!)

As others have said, you are not going to convert your parents to be veg. You *might* be able to reason with them by sitting down and having a conversation. If they think you are trying to get out of chores, you can assure them this is not true. Explain you feel very uncomfortable handling meat (be careful, you might sound like you are attacking them!!) because of information you have learned. Make the point that they taught you to think for yourself, learn the facts etc., and now you are trying to do that while still respecting that not everyone agrees with your assessment. Finally, ask if they would consider either letting you cook something else entirely, or letting you prepare some sort of meat that would involve minimal handling? (Not sure what that might be, maybe a frozen thing that you just stick in the oven??) Note that they could say no... Or they could let you try it one week and then go right back to pushing meat after that. If that happens you must hold up your end of the bargain (and maybe still suggest other recipes from time to time). But if you handle it like this, even if they won't budge on the meat, they almost certainly will have greater respect for you in regards to future issues.

As for purposely screwing up the meal... I thought about this a long time. It would send a strong message that ultimately they cannot make you produce a successful meat meal, and it might make them back off on future meat demands. For the long-term, I doubt it would win you anything else, and it could seriously damage the relationship in ways you can't foresee. You also could, theoretically, just refuse to do it - you'd lose your data plan, for how long? If you do either of those things, though, they likely would just turn around and find something else to "force" you to do. What will it be next time? Go fishing with the family? Carve up the last of the Thanksgiving turkey to freeze it? Something worse? Whereas if you just have this conversation with them, the worst that could happen is... you cook beef. With, maybe, a chance to negotiate some meat-free recipes in the future, and an opening to have quality discussions when you disagree.

I hope you will let us know what happens with this, and I wish you good luck, whatever you decide to do.
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#28 Old 11-21-2014, 06:22 PM
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Just call their bluff and offer to let them take your Discover card for a week.

Besides this clip, there's another scene earlier in the same episode when Tony and Carmela are discussing Meadow's possible punishment, and they agree, "Let's not overplay our hand, cause if she finds out we're powerless, we're f******."

WARNING: FOUL LANGUAGE

The payoff is in the last two seconds of the video. Check out the look on her face. She totally played them for suckers. Everything in life is a powerplay. Know how to use your power, and you can manipulate anybody!
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Last edited by DTASFAB; 11-21-2014 at 06:30 PM.
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#29 Old 11-21-2014, 06:23 PM
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Hi always11_12_13, sorry for assuming you were a guy.

Why don't you show your parents this:


How would your parents like to weigh what they did at 28, throw out most of their medications, prevent heart disease and reduce their risk of cancer by 80-90%? All they have to do is eat unlimited portions of fresh, inexpensive food.

Not to scare you, but if you're American there's a 1 / 7 chance your dad will get prostate cancer, and 1 / 8 chance your mom will get breast cancer. They'll either die from these disease or doctors will catch it in time to give them horrible chemo & radiation. But they can cut their risk of these diseases to 1 / 100 just by switching from beef and cheese to black bean burgers & sweet potato fries.

If that doesn't get your mom & dad to go vegan, nothing will.
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#30 Old 11-22-2014, 03:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DTASFAB View Post
Just call their bluff and offer to let them take your Discover card for a week.

Besides this clip, there's another scene earlier in the same episode when Tony and Carmela are discussing Meadow's possible punishment, and they agree, "Let's not overplay our hand, cause if she finds out we're powerless, we're f******."

WARNING: FOUL LANGUAGE

The payoff is in the last two seconds of the video. Check out the look on her face. She totally played them for suckers. Everything in life is a powerplay. Know how to use your power, and you can manipulate anybody!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwhUG3QSwYY
What show is that, I liked that clip?
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