What interactions are you proud of? When did you stand up for yourself and your beliefs? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 10-24-2013, 05:28 PM
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Hi

 

I would like to hear some of your stories of conversations or interactions in which you stood up for your compassionate vegetarian beliefs. What conversation are you proud of? Did you inspire someone to think differently about vegetarianism? Did you stand up for yourself? 

 

I know for me these things don't come naturally and I would love to hear some of your inspirational stories. Maybe through this we can give each other ideas as to what to say in conversation. 

 

Thanks

Calley :nigel: 

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#2 Old 10-26-2013, 01:18 AM
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Hey,

Great idea!

I think the hardest thing is starting the conversation in the first place. I don't like to push it on people, but just like when I get upset about anything else in the news, I share stuff.

That usually starts a conversation. I had one friends ask about how she could get 'free-range' eggs (the legislation here around the word 'free range' is just pathetic). I gave her all the information I could, but let her know that they're still debeaked and only live for a short time, given their potential lifespan.

Another time, one friend actually said to me "But, vegetarianism is such a First World thing, like....you couldn't be vegetarian in a developing country"

 

I replied with "So? There's lots of things I couldn't do in those countries, including voting, getting my hair done, having access to running water.....What's your point?"

Friend: It's not for everyone, like the whole world can't do it. What about the people in other countries who are starving?

Me: If you're that concerned, then maybe you should know that the resources it takes to create one kilo of beef, could be put to much better use in feeding and clothing a family in a developing country.

Friend: But, what happens to all the farm animals? If the world goes vegetarian overnight, what will happen to the animals?

Me: Are we in hypothetical land? That's about as likely as me ending up on desert island with 'nothing to eat but chickens'. You're smarter than that.

Friend: Well, I like the way bacon tastes.

Me: Me too. I still don't eat pigs, for the same reason you don't eat your dog. Pigs are basically dogs.


That was a good conversation. I don't often have many like that though. The trick, I think, is to arm yourself with as much information as possible.











 

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#3 Old 10-27-2013, 03:46 PM
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Wow those are really good! Its nice to hear how other people reply to questions like those.

 

I am struggling with trying to explain to my wedding venue why I want at least 50% of the food to be vegetarian. I was told by the planner that "no one will eat it anyways." It made me so upset that so I didn't even reply. Today I had a food tasting for the wedding and so last week I emailed  the event planner and told her that I hoped to try some wonderful vegetarian dinner options. It was my way of reminding her that I was vegetarian.

 

I never got a reply to that email, so I showed up hoping for the best. The appetizers were actually about 50% vegetarian (not all vegan). However, to my 'surprise' there were no main dishes that were vegetarian. In fact, the main course was literally guys cutting hunks of different types of meat and giving them to people. There was no salad, potatoes, vegetables or anything else. Just hunks of meat. I was instantly upset, however, instead of just ignoring it and not eating I got an empty plate and went from station to station looking for something vegetarian. At each station, I got nothing and came back to the beginning with my empty plate.

 

I approached one of the servers, who was now looking at me concerned, and asked where the vegetarian food was. To this he replied that he was sorry and that he would go in the back and make (heat up) a vegetarian meal. It was about five minutes before another server came back out with a wonderful plate with couscous, spinach, and a giant portabella mushroom slice on top. I thanked them and happily at my vegetarian dish.

 

Reflecting on this event, I wish I had found the woman who I had emailed and told her how I felt. I was very disappointed that she never replied to my email and even more that there was not a main meal. Again, I felt like an afterthought but I still don't know what to do from here. 

 

Calley :nigel: 


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Just because we always have, doesn't mean we always have to.

Once we KNOW better, we should DO better.

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#4 Old 10-27-2013, 05:04 PM
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Oh geeze! That's so rough!

Any one who says "no one will eat the vegetarian food anyway"....Isn't paying close enough attention to what people eat. Every time I've been at a party or gathering with food, I've had to wrestle the vegetarian option from a carnist. It's not that I don't want them to taste the lovely foods, it's that they get sick of their food and try and eat all of mine.

As for what you do now?

It's important that whatever you do, you do what you're comfortable with. I'm guessing, that getting in the woman's face and yelling "VEGETARIAN OPTIONS, NOW!" is not your style and that's okay :P

Instead, why not send whoever arranged the tasting an email that says something along the lines of-

Hey, I really enjoyed the vegetarian appetisers at the tasting. My favourite ones were (whatever your favourites were).

I was disappointed to see the lack of variety though, in the main meals. My guests will want more than just meat as their main meal. However, I can't say enough good things about the cous cous, spinach and portabello mushroom dish that I ate. It was lovely. Perhaps, there are more dishes like that, that could be featured at another tasting? I'm sure that's much more in keeping with what my guests would like.

That way, you're highlighting the positives and pointing out the negative that is a negative whether someone eats meat or not. Quite frankly, 'just meat' is a pathetic excuse for a main meal and most meat eaters wouldn't be happy with that kind of selection either.

It's difficult, I'm not going to lie. Knowing when you hold your ground and when to bend with what's going on, is really tricky. I'm still not very good at it. But, it takes practice. Also, it's your wedding and you can have whatever percentage of vegetarian food that you like at it. When it's their wedding they can do whatever THEY like.

Good luck!
 

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#5 Old 10-30-2013, 03:08 PM
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Well I finally stood up for my self and beliefs, Not that I want to bring up religion but. I am of a different faith(muslim), and I finally stood up for my self and told them that in the this religion it does not say you have to eat meat. And please respect me and the choices I have made in my life as I respect you, and if we are really friend then we should respect each other choices food and other wise. Its really felt good to say that.

Congrats on the engagement Calley
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#6 Old 10-30-2013, 03:08 PM
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Well I finally stood up for my self and beliefs, Not that I want to bring up religion but. I am of a different faith(muslim), and I finally stood up for my self and told them that in the this religion it does not say you have to eat meat. And please respect me and the choices I have made in my life as I respect you, and if we are really friend then we should respect each other choices food and other wise. Its really felt good to say that.

Congrats on the engagement Calley
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#7 Old 10-30-2013, 03:09 PM
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Well I finally stood up for my self and beliefs, Not that I want to bring up religion but. I am of a different faith(muslim), and I finally stood up for my self and told them that in the this religion it does not say you have to eat meat. And please respect me and the choices I have made in my life as I respect you, and if we are really friend then we should respect each other choices food and other wise. Its really felt good to say that.

Congrats on the engagement Calley
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#8 Old 11-08-2013, 06:32 AM
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Wow that is so powerful! I am so happy for you! I am not very religious but from what I understand certain religions have restrictions on eating pork. I know my friend is an orthodox jew and he doesn't eat pork at all. Its odd how eating pigs is frowned upon but not eating any meat is too. You would think it would be more accepted. 


Just because we can, doesn't mean we should.

Just because we always have, doesn't mean we always have to.

Once we KNOW better, we should DO better.

~Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

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#9 Old 11-08-2013, 07:26 AM
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Wow Calley, I'm so sorry you went through that. Personally, I would simply change venue, but I suppose it's difficult to book venues on short notice. Please keep in my you are paying these people for this, it is their job. There is nothing wrong with reminding them of your request and pointing out their shortcomings.

 

As a way of standing up for my beliefs, one thing comes to mind:

 

On my birthday, my parents have me over for dinner. I've requested that there only be vegan food served on that day for everyone there, (boyfriend, brother, brother's boyfriend, etc). So one day a year, my entire family eats an entirely vegan meal :)

 

And of course, I've stood up for my beliefs at every extended family get-together the first year I was vegan. Every time, it was just a barage of questions and crazy hypotheticals, so much that I hardly touched my food and ended up going to the bathroom to cry in private after the meal. But I was proud of myself for staying there the duration of the meal (and inquisition period).

 

Every little bit counts! Stay strong, fellow veg*ns!


Calley, keep us posted on your wedding!

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#10 Old 11-08-2013, 12:42 PM
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Wow Calley, I'm so sorry you went through that. Personally, I would simply change venue, but I suppose it's difficult to book venues on short notice. Please keep in my you are paying these people for this, it is their job. There is nothing wrong with reminding them of your request and pointing out their shortcomings.

 

As a way of standing up for my beliefs, one thing comes to mind:

 

On my birthday, my parents have me over for dinner. I've requested that there only be vegan food served on that day for everyone there, (boyfriend, brother, brother's boyfriend, etc). So one day a year, my entire family eats an entirely vegan meal :)

 

And of course, I've stood up for my beliefs at every extended family get-together the first year I was vegan. Every time, it was just a barage of questions and crazy hypotheticals, so much that I hardly touched my food and ended up going to the bathroom to cry in private after the meal. But I was proud of myself for staying there the duration of the meal (and inquisition period).

 

Every little bit counts! Stay strong, fellow veg*ns!


Calley, keep us posted on your wedding!

I know when my grand niece was being allergy tested, two of the things she was being tested for was eggs and dairy. We all went (temporarily)vegan, and my knowledge about veganism was pretty scant. I would've been guilty of "the barrage of questions" out of innocent lack of knowledge, rather then "let's attack the vegan" though. Some of the questions may be out of lack of knowledge, rather than attacking you.


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#11 Old 11-08-2013, 01:03 PM
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I know when my grand niece was being allergy tested, two of the things she was being tested for was eggs and dairy. We all went (temporarily)vegan, and my knowledge about veganism was pretty scant. I would've been guilty of "the barrage of questions" out of innocent lack of knowledge, rather then "let's attack the vegan" though. Some of the questions may be out of lack of knowledge, rather than attacking you.

Oh for sure! I'm sure they didn't realize they were making me so uncomfortable. It was just all very overwhelming, especially because a) I was a new vegan, so didn't have all my answers loaded and ready and b) I've always been a very shy person and being put in the spotlight like that was just very overwhelming for me.  And well,....some of their questions were just flat out ignorant too, like, all about finding my vegan "breaking" point, if you know what I mean (ex: why are you still eating plants if they use manure as fertilizer? If I had my own cow and raised her lovingly, would you eat the cheese I made? But don't you miss cheese?? (I've been lactose intolerant for years) etc. )

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#12 Old 11-08-2013, 07:57 PM
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Originally Posted by azerea_02 View Post
 

Wow Calley, I'm so sorry you went through that. Personally, I would simply change venue, but I suppose it's difficult to book venues on short notice. Please keep in my you are paying these people for this, it is their job. There is nothing wrong with reminding them of your request and pointing out their shortcomings.

 

As a way of standing up for my beliefs, one thing comes to mind:

 

On my birthday, my parents have me over for dinner. I've requested that there only be vegan food served on that day for everyone there, (boyfriend, brother, brother's boyfriend, etc). So one day a year, my entire family eats an entirely vegan meal :)

 

And of course, I've stood up for my beliefs at every extended family get-together the first year I was vegan. Every time, it was just a barage of questions and crazy hypotheticals, so much that I hardly touched my food and ended up going to the bathroom to cry in private after the meal. But I was proud of myself for staying there the duration of the meal (and inquisition period).

 

Every little bit counts! Stay strong, fellow veg*ns!


Calley, keep us posted on your wedding!

 

I can totally see how that is overwhelming. I found that listening to this podcast called "vegetarian food for thought" and reading ACTUAL research from PubMed was the best way for me to educate myself. Through education I learned the answers to many of the common questions asked by meat eaters and became way more comfortable talking about the subject. 


Just because we can, doesn't mean we should.

Just because we always have, doesn't mean we always have to.

Once we KNOW better, we should DO better.

~Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

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#13 Old 11-08-2013, 09:23 PM
 
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I can think of so many times where someone has attacked my views with nasty words and I was left crying. It's hard to have an intelligent conversation whilst crying. :lol: I can clearly think of intelligent things to say in my head but they never form real words. Whenever someone does bring up "free range" eggs or bacon or cheese or anything of the support, I do inform them and let them think about it. I used to do it in a panicky sort of way but I am calmer now. I just state the facts and smile and walk away. Next time someone says something like "There's nothing wrong with killing animals, you just think there is and you're trying to be a martyr" or "They aren't intelligent so why shouldn't we eat them?" or "God put animals on the Earth for humans to eat" I will have a factual and ready answer. :) Facts are the best. One time I had a teacher at school approach me and talk about how his sister's boyfriend was a butcher and I just looked at him and smiled. Why would I even care about that? Some people...

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#14 Old 11-10-2013, 12:27 AM
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I can think of so many times where someone has attacked my views with nasty words and I was left crying. It's hard to have an intelligent conversation whilst crying. :lol: I can clearly think of intelligent things to say in my head but they never form real words. Whenever someone does bring up "free range" eggs or bacon or cheese or anything of the support, I do inform them and let them think about it. I used to do it in a panicky sort of way but I am calmer now. I just state the facts and smile and walk away. Next time someone says something like "There's nothing wrong with killing animals, you just think there is and you're trying to be a martyr" or "They aren't intelligent so why shouldn't we eat them?" or "God put animals on the Earth for humans to eat" I will have a factual and ready answer. :) Facts are the best. One time I had a teacher at school approach me and talk about how his sister's boyfriend was a butcher and I just looked at him and smiled. Why would I even care about that? Some people...



I used to be very panicky when explaining things to people too! You're right, facts help to make the argument seem a lot calmer. (Even if sometimes my heart is bursting in my chest from nerves!)

'But You Kill Ants' by John Waddell really got me in the best mindset. It's got most of those 'questions' that we face in there and plenty of good answers to borrow :P

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#15 Old 11-10-2013, 07:36 AM
 
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I used to be very panicky when explaining things to people too! You're right, facts help to make the argument seem a lot calmer. (Even if sometimes my heart is bursting in my chest from nerves!)

'But You Kill Ants' by John Waddell really got me in the best mindset. It's got most of those 'questions' that we face in there and plenty of good answers to borrow :P

 I will be sure to check it out. Thanks! :)

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