Ranting about stupid omnis - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 04-14-2004, 03:31 PM
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Stupid Stupid Stupid omnis!



My daughter is going to a sleepover with a friend who is not veg*n and whose family is not veg*n. I am planning to send some food with my daughter so that she isn't stuck trying to eat "around" the meat. Knowing that people can be ridiculous I asked some omni moms (on-line) if they would be bothered by a veg child bringing their own food to a sleep over due to their veg*nism. Guess what? More than half said they'd be offended and that the child should just eat whatever was served that didn't contain meat!!!



UGH.



Then I was asked, "How important is it that your daughter doesn't eat meat for just one day?"



I felt like asking them "How important is it that your child doesn't murder someone for just one day?"

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#2 Old 04-14-2004, 03:39 PM
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Really, I guess this should be up to the child to decide, but I would assume that your daughter is veggie by choice.



I guess that it doesn't really send much of a message if you don't really allow the omni parents to try and make something veg*n. If you send your kid there with her own food, it is kinda saying "I'm not really expecting you to bother making an effort."



i think that really, it'd be best to have your daughter help her friends mother ut, tell her what's acceptable and what's not, and then, wit ha bit of luck, she should get a pretty good veg meal. If all else fails, i guess you could discreetly give her a couple of luna bars or something.
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#3 Old 04-14-2004, 03:40 PM
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When people say something like that to me, I say, (with a smile - the smile is important) "I feel about it the same way you would feel if the meat were human flesh."



Why don't you call the parents, and say "I know it's difficult catering to different food needs, and you're going to have your hands full anyway, so, if you don't mind, I'm going to send some veg*n food with my daughter. That way, you don't have to worry about planning anything veg*n."
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#4 Old 04-14-2004, 03:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Loki View Post

Really, I guess this should be up to the child to decide, but I would assume that your daughter is veggie by choice.



I guess that it doesn't really send much of a message if you don't really allow the omni parents to try and make something veg*n. If you send your kid there with her own food, it is kinda saying "I'm not really expecting you to bother making an effort."



i think that really, it'd be best to have your daughter help her friends mother ut, tell her what's acceptable and what's not, and then, wit ha bit of luck, she should get a pretty good veg meal. If all else fails, i guess you could discreetly give her a couple of luna bars or something.



That might work if my daughter weren't only 8 years old.



I also don't want to inconvenience the friend's parents so I'm sending a meat analog to take the place of any meat entree. It isn't like I'm packing off a 3 course meal.



I also plan on telling the mom that I am hoping to make things easier by not expect her to cater to my daughter's food choices. This saves me from having to try to accomodate her kid's food choices ... I don't want to have anyone expect me to cook meat because their kid likes it.

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#5 Old 04-14-2004, 03:52 PM
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I guess that if you talk to the other parents, they should be able to sort something out. I mean, at 8 years old, many kids can take responsibility for their own actions. Hell, this guy I know who's seeing some other chick behind his wife's back has a daughter aged 8, who has decided to become a vegetarian.



I think that what the message you're sending out to other parents is "I think you'll just bugger it up" if you infringe upon their cooking. Really, it's up to your daughter to sort things out. If she already knows her friends mum quite well already, then she should be able to have a chat about it, and sort something out. i guess that you've got to give other parents some responsibility when they're looking after your child. If you do have your daughter take her own food, it is kinda sending the wrong message.
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#6 Old 04-14-2004, 03:55 PM
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Why don't you call the parents, and say "I know it's difficult catering to different food needs, and you're going to have your hands full anyway, so, if you don't mind, I'm going to send some veg*n food with my daughter. That way, you don't have to worry about planning anything veg*n."



That's pretty much what I was planning on doing.

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#7 Old 04-14-2004, 05:34 PM
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I've been faced with this myself. So many times people have said to me "couldn't you make an exception this one time...." then they are truly put out when I say no. Luckily the ones who do this I really don't care if I socialize with or not. My "real" friends make the small adjustment for me (even if they rib me about it in good fun)
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#8 Old 04-14-2004, 05:52 PM
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Originally Posted by MrsKey View Post

That's pretty much what I was planning on doing.



Yes, now that I'm vegan, it really freaks people out, trying to figure out what to feed me. I tell them not to worry, that I'll bring something, and I make enough for everyone to have some if they choose. It's also a good way of exposing people to vegan food, and to disabuse them of the notion that it's freaky. I do it all with good humor, and make a joke of it, if necessary.
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#9 Old 04-14-2004, 05:55 PM
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I mean, at 8 years old, many kids can take responsibility for their own actions. Hell, this guy I know who's seeing some other chick behind his wife's back has a daughter aged 8, who has decided to become a vegetarian.



I became Veggie at 8

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#10 Old 04-14-2004, 06:31 PM
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Ah, I became veggie at 12. Some guy once said "isn't that a little early for that?" and i told him that it's actually quite late, since many veggies become vegetarian at younger ages.



As for people who say, "make an exception, and eat meat just once" I think they're being unreasonable. No doubt about it.
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#11 Old 04-14-2004, 06:39 PM
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I went vegan at 14.
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#12 Old 04-14-2004, 07:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Loki View Post

Ah, I became veggie at 12. Some guy once said "isn't that a little early for that?" and i told him that it's actually quite late, since many veggies become vegetarian at younger ages.



As for people who say, "make an exception, and eat meat just once" I think they're being unreasonable. No doubt about it.



It's just ridiculous when ppl tell you to make an exception. I had people tell me twice at easter to make an exception and have an easter egg cos i was expressing how much i used to love getting them and seeing how long I could keep them for. Agh, they don't realise I have will-power
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#13 Old 04-14-2004, 07:24 PM
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Anyway Mrskey, altough i do believe it has to be your daughters choice to be veggie, i think if you phoned the parents and politely explained how you like her to be veggie and would they mind if you gave her somthing to put in the microwave, that would be a good idea If they get mad,,,,they're strange ppl!
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#14 Old 04-14-2004, 07:32 PM
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It's just ridiculous when ppl tell you to make an exception. I had people tell me twice at easter to make an exception and have an easter egg cos i was expressing how much i used to love getting them and seeing how long I could keep them for. Agh, they don't realise I have will-power





my grandmother has made a habit of doing that every holiday( we ALWAYS go to her house for the holidays-all the like 30 people in our family do and thatsn make it hard to "bring a meal for everyone")

so she makes roast beef and chicken some turkeys and a good deal of pork, mashed potaotes with milk, stuffing with chicken, turkey gravy, and veggies loaded with butter. and every time i dont eat the meat she says eat the veggies and the potatoes! im like "GRANDMA! i dont drink milk!" then shes like " but its a HOLIDAY! give your STUPID diet a break for a day and eat-it traditon to have a good turkey and roast!"
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#15 Old 04-14-2004, 08:02 PM
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im like "GRANDMA! i dont drink milk!" then shes like " but its a HOLIDAY! give your STUPID diet a break for a day and eat-it traditon to have a good turkey and roast!"

Sounds kinda mean...
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#16 Old 04-14-2004, 08:09 PM
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It seems like a stupid thing to get angry over. Once when my sister was in preschool she invited her whole class to her birthday party, and this one little girl's mother called and said that she couldn't come because she was lactose intolerant and she didn't want her to feel left out. My mother said she's be happy to make her a special treat that's dairy free so she'd be able to attend with the other children, but her mother wouldn't let her come.

What would the other mother's do if the child kept Kosher? Or was lactose intolerant? Or allergic to something? "Oh just suck it up and withstand the anaphalaxis! its a party!"

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#17 Old 04-14-2004, 08:33 PM
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Hmmm...I don't know if I would trust the people that wouldn't let your daughter bring food or asked, "How important is it that your daughter doesn't eat meat for just one day?" It might not be exactly the same thing, but what if your daughter was diabetic or hypoglycemic and you asked if it were ok for her to bring sugar-free treats/extra snacks or if she had a food allergy?



Tell them what mouse said. That should work. Most people wouldn't mind if you put it like that. The parents of your daughter's friend probably know she's a vegetarian and are expecting something like that anyway or are wondering what to feed her.



As for those moms online, I would explain to them your reasoning. They might not know what is veg*n and what isn't. They might feed your daughter something with chicken broth, lard, gelatin, etc without realize it isn't veg*n. (That and all of the junk food they might be feeding her.) Tell them that you're trying to save them some work.



If all else fails, you could always feed her before she goes over and when she comes home the next morning, have breakfast or brunch ready for her. Have her bring some snacks to share with everybody (or just herself if they're being that anal about it).



Totalmuggle--my suggestion is to bring your own meal with you when you go to Grandma's. She's obviously not willing to make something for you (I don't blame her--cooking for that many people is more than enough work), so I'd bring a couple of things that are vegan with enough to share (if nobody wants to try them, you'll always have leftovers and that's a good thing). I'd bring a starchy dish (like a rice stuffing, pasta salad, or vegan mashed potatoes), a meat analogue or a bean dish, and maybe some dessert. Have her set aside some veggies and you can cook them without butter when you get there--bring some vegan margarine with you and have her use it in place of butter if you need to.
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#18 Old 04-15-2004, 07:21 AM
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Originally Posted by veganmuncher View Post

It's just ridiculous when ppl tell you to make an exception. I had people tell me twice at easter to make an exception and have an easter egg cos i was expressing how much i used to love getting them and seeing how long I could keep them for. Agh, they don't realise I have will-power



You can get vegan easter eggs. Green & blacks have a maya gold egg!!!!!!!! Aww crap, now i gotta get all this saliva out of my keyboard.



But I get very few people saying "just give you're vegetarianism a break for once." I've only had it once, and I told them that I wasn't prepared to do that.
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#19 Old 04-15-2004, 08:30 AM
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I was older when I went veggie (11), but what I did is what you're planning to do, and it was never a problem. I'd talk to their parents, or have them talk to their parents, and bring something if necessary. The worst I ever got was a friends mom always asking me "are you still doing that vegetarian thing?" everytime I came over, but that same mom also always made sure I had lots of veggies to eat when I went over there, so it wasn't so bad.
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#20 Old 04-15-2004, 01:51 PM
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Originally Posted by rabid_child View Post

What would the other mother's do if the child kept Kosher? Or was lactose intolerant? Or allergic to something? "Oh just suck it up and withstand the anaphalaxis! its a party!"

Exactly what I was going to say, but you took the words right out of my fingers.
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#21 Old 04-15-2004, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by MrsKey View Post

I felt like asking them "How important is it that your child doesn't murder someone for just one day?"



Or, "How important is it that your child, who is deathly allergic to peanuts, doesn't have peanut butter when they are at my house?"
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#22 Old 04-15-2004, 02:31 PM
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When I went over to my friends house we made a vegan dinner for her whole family even though none of them were vegetarians. I think the best option is to call...I don't see how someone can be that rude and try to change someones lifestyle "just for a day" its like saying "Hey, I know your allergic to milk and everything but why don't you just forget about it for today and 'enjoy yourself'."
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#23 Old 04-15-2004, 02:31 PM
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Seems to be any parent would be happy to supply a kid with vegetables and fruits, I mean how hard can that be?
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#24 Old 04-17-2004, 08:45 AM
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Seems to be any parent would be happy to supply a kid with vegetables and fruits, I mean how hard can that be?



Apparently it is pretty hard since people have tried to give my daughter soups made with chicken or beef broth, gelatin, veggies cooked in lard or "fat back" ...



Or who take the kids to McDonald's because it is "cheap" and "easy" and the only thing my daughter might be able to eat is fries, though we're dubious about the vegetarian status of McD's fried ....



It isn't that I think that omni parents will "screw up" - but so many people don't have any idea what vegetarianism really is. Which is obvious when you look at how many of us have been asked, "So do you eat fish?" or "Oh. But you still eat chicken, right?"



I don't want my kid's friends and their parents to think that having my daughter over for an afternoon or a sleep over is a "chore" because she's vegetarian. So I offer to provide an alternative as a "just in case" sort of thing.



I guess I was just surprised that people would be offended by that.

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#25 Old 04-17-2004, 10:01 AM
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The status of mcd's fries in the USA is that they aren't vegetarian - A beef-based natural flavour is put in the fries.



It might be that you have to explain what vegetarianism is to other parents. It may take some time, but it's the best way to avoid scre-ups.



Oh, and if you want to talk about your daughter and vegetarianism, I'd highy recommend the "raising vegetarian kids" area of the site. There are quite a lot of great people there, who will be eager to help you out should any situations arise.
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#26 Old 04-17-2004, 10:25 AM
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It might be that you have to explain what vegetarianism is to other parents. It may take some time, but it's the best way to avoid scre-ups.



I do. But there are times when the other kids' parents don't want to hear it.



They think that our vegetarianism is a moral judgement of their eating habits and they get very defensive.



Thus the "What difference does one meal make?" type of comments.



That and I live in the Southern US where even vegetables are made with animal products - green beans cooked in lard, collard greens cooked with ham hocks ... it is thoroughly disgusting. Blech!



I don't just pack my daughter off with food without mentioning it. I do tell the parents that I'm sending it as a "just in case" or for their convenience. And the kids who come here end up eating a lot of pizza because cheese pizza is something most kids will eat.



Or I make veggie burgers and don't tell them they aren't meat.

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#27 Old 04-17-2004, 10:27 AM
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my dad actualy wanted to buy me lunch. so im like yeah rock on!! then hes like ill order it and ill pick it up. hes like but i want t buy u something with meat in it. it cant hurt to eat meat once in a while ya know.

i wasnt 2 happy
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