No vegetarian option at wedding - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 09-18-2010, 01:20 PM
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My cousin is getting married in a few weeks and I got an invitation to the after dress rehearsal dinner. There are three options for "main dish" - beef, chicken, fish. I assume this is pretty standard but what should I do? They know I'm a vegetarian and I certainly don't expect a different card for me but just wondering if it would be rude to write in "side dishes" or something like that? Everyone in my family considers his sister a vegetarian but she eats fish so they might assume this is normal and that would be fine for me. Obviously it isn't.

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#2 Old 09-18-2010, 01:37 PM
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Are you close with your cousin? Just ask about it.

Or find out who the caterer is, and ask them if they typically bring a few "emergency" vegetarian dishes to weddings. I've heard of caterers who do. My roommate went to a wedding as a "plus one" recently, too late to even request a meal option. When the caterers asked what meal she'd chosen she said she hadn't, and that she was a vegetarian. They said no trouble, they always had enough food to make a few vegetarian meals. Caterers see this all the time, especially when brides make menu choices that don't include a vegetarian option!

If your cousin is a horrific person, you don't want to call, the caterer tells you to eat **** and die (or any other very remote possibility...) Just write on the card, "I'm a vegetarian. So, nothing, it seems." Or, you know, your less snarky option of "I'm a vegetarian. So, any vegetarian side dishes."

Worst case scenario? Eat before the wedding, and don't eat at the reception. I've not eaten for 14 days. You'll survive a few hours, I promise!
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#3 Old 09-18-2010, 01:48 PM
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I had this at my boyfriend's cousin's wedding - they were already so stressed out from their respective families causing waves that when I talked to my boyfriend about it, he found out who we were sitting with and made sure we sat with some people who didn't like their veggie options, and then just asked that they be placed in small bowls so they could be stuck in front of me to eat. Was cool, I had a buffet lol. Plus they had a huuuuge fruit tray for people to pick at, so I got a bunch of that.

I'd just ask what else they're serving, or find out if the caterers would be willing to do something like that for you too, if they don't want to create a veggie option. At least you'd have something to eat still.

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#4 Old 09-18-2010, 02:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Semicharmed View Post

Are you close with your cousin? Just ask about it.

Or find out who the caterer is, and ask them if they typically bring a few "emergency" vegetarian dishes to weddings. I've heard of caterers who do. My roommate went to a wedding as a "plus one" recently, too late to even request a meal option. When the caterers asked what meal she'd chosen she said she hadn't, and that she was a vegetarian. They said no trouble, they always had enough food to make a few vegetarian meals. Caterers see this all the time, especially when brides make menu choices that don't include a vegetarian option!

If your cousin is a horrific person, you don't want to call, the caterer tells you to eat **** and die (or any other very remote possibility...) Just write on the card, "I'm a vegetarian. So, nothing, it seems." Or, you know, your less snarky option of "I'm a vegetarian. So, any vegetarian side dishes."

Worst case scenario? Eat before the wedding, and don't eat at the reception. I've not eaten for 14 days. You'll survive a few hours, I promise!

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#5 Old 09-18-2010, 08:18 PM
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Not close enough that I'd want to call him up and ask but I was talking to my mom earlier and she actually brought it up and said it's been resolved. Apparently my aunt is well aware that I do not eat fish and already asked if they had another option for me. They said it's no problem for them to make a vegan meal for me and that they do it for at least one person at every wedding. I was mainly wondering what to actually put on the card but they said to just send it in unmarked and they would know. Done and done.

i hear in my mind all of these voices
i hear in my mind all of these words
i hear in my mind all of this music
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#6 Old 09-18-2010, 08:22 PM
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I would just hide in the bushes and bomb the hell out of the whole thing with water balloons.
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#7 Old 09-18-2010, 11:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Semicharmed View Post

Are you close with your cousin? Just ask about it.

Or find out who the caterer is, and ask them if they typically bring a few "emergency" vegetarian dishes to weddings. I've heard of caterers who do. My roommate went to a wedding as a "plus one" recently, too late to even request a meal option. When the caterers asked what meal she'd chosen she said she hadn't, and that she was a vegetarian. They said no trouble, they always had enough food to make a few vegetarian meals. Caterers see this all the time, especially when brides make menu choices that don't include a vegetarian option!

If your cousin is a horrific person, you don't want to call, the caterer tells you to eat **** and die (or any other very remote possibility...) Just write on the card, "I'm a vegetarian. So, nothing, it seems." Or, you know, your less snarky option of "I'm a vegetarian. So, any vegetarian side dishes."

Worst case scenario? Eat before the wedding, and don't eat at the reception. I've not eaten for 14 days. You'll survive a few hours, I promise!

exactly....and good luck with everything.

peace
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#8 Old 09-19-2010, 03:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dividedsky View Post

Not close enough that I'd want to call him up and ask but I was talking to my mom earlier and she actually brought it up and said it's been resolved. Apparently my aunt is well aware that I do not eat fish and already asked if they had another option for me. They said it's no problem for them to make a vegan meal for me and that they do it for at least one person at every wedding. I was mainly wondering what to actually put on the card but they said to just send it in unmarked and they would know. Done and done.

I'm glad you got that resolved.

When my nephew and his fiancée were planning their wedding and discussing the catering, I brought up the possibility of a vegetarian option at the reception to my nephew. He said to remind him again as the date got closer. So I did, and he arranged with the caterer for a vegetarian entrée for me. He's such a sweetie.

I always say, even if you don't know the wedding couple that well, if you're invited, it's supposed to be an honor, so it doesn't hurt to bring it up with the person you know the best anyway, especially since there may be a lot of other people going to the wedding. With so many guests coming and so many details to consider, one or two veg*an entrees for their guests is probably not on the radar of most omni couples.

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#9 Old 10-18-2010, 08:21 PM
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**Update**

The wedding is now over and I had a great vegan meal. Had a salad with a vinaigrette dressing (instead of ranch), a combination of brown rice/mushrooms/roasted tomatoes/chickpeas/sauce as an entree, and fresh fruit in simple syrup for dessert. Several people at my table were envious of my food.

i hear in my mind all of these voices
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i hear in my mind all of this music
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#10 Old 10-18-2010, 08:32 PM
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#11 Old 10-20-2010, 06:10 AM
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My usual answer: I have never heard a convincing reason to eat meat.
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#12 Old 10-20-2010, 07:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dividedsky View Post

My cousin is getting married in a few weeks and I got an invitation to the after dress rehearsal dinner.

There's a special dinner for after the dress rehearsal now as well as the big day? Bloody hell, that's way too much involvement in someone's special day for me.

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#13 Old 10-20-2010, 09:25 AM
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Oh there you go, trying to 1 up me!



There!!!



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#14 Old 10-20-2010, 02:50 PM
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There's a special dinner for after the dress rehearsal now as well as the big day? Bloody hell, that's way too much involvement in someone's special day for me.

Yeah we had an after rehearsal dinner on Friday, then lunch on sat, then the wedding sat night, then the reception, and then a brunch the next day. Some people had more stuff to go to than I did. It's kinda crazy but I only go to a wedding every couple years so it's not too bad.

i hear in my mind all of these voices
i hear in my mind all of these words
i hear in my mind all of this music
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#15 Old 10-20-2010, 03:26 PM
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Glad to hear it went well.

And oh yeah,



The ones I pity are the ones who never stick out their neck for something they believe, never know the taste of moral struggle, and never have the thrill of victory. - Jonathan Kozol
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#16 Old 10-20-2010, 03:31 PM
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Ouch, Jen, Ouch
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#17 Old 10-21-2010, 12:22 PM
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Glad it went well for you sounds nice what you had to eat also
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#18 Old 10-22-2010, 01:34 AM
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One of my cousins is getting married next weekend, and I'm not going because I wouldn't eat anything.
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#19 Old 10-22-2010, 01:44 AM
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Dbacksfan, I haven't read through all of this thread, but did you ask about having a veggie option? One of my cousins got married in June and I was worried there'd be nothing for me to eat, so I asked about the menu and I found out that two people in her wedding party were vegan, so I'd be taken care of as well. I ended up with a delicious meal.
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#20 Old 10-22-2010, 02:00 AM
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Dbacksfan, I haven't read through all of this thread, but did you ask about having a veggie option? One of my cousins got married in June and I was worried there'd be nothing for me to eat, so I asked about the menu and I found out that two people in her wedding party were vegan, so I'd be taken care of as well. I ended up with a delicious meal.

No, I didn't, but I'm not a normal vegetarian. I wouldn't eat a meal made for a normal vegetarian, so I'm not even going to bother to ask. Besides, I really don't want to go, and I don't want to be a pain.
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#21 Old 10-22-2010, 06:03 AM
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You can always skip the meal and go visit the wedding after the meal. I did that with a friend of mine because my husband which was my boyfriend at the time was working and he would get off during the time they served the meal. We ended up eating something on the way there and then went there and was there right when they were about to cut the cake and start dancing.
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#22 Old 10-22-2010, 10:57 AM
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How did the wedding go? Was it lovely?
... I love weddings.

For our wedding, we had one tray of vegan sandwiches, and the rest were turkey and beef. For some odd reason, EVERYONE wanted the veggie sandwiches! I just think it's funny that the vegan meal got all the attention by a bunch of omnis.
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