Do People Think You Are Rude? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 06-29-2010, 01:20 AM
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Sometimes I think I get this vibe like people think vegetarians are rude like, we are making more work for others or why can't we just "do it this one time". It's sad to me, because I think at least in America those of us who are veg are doing it for animals rights reasons so it's something we believe in. I'm also a Muslim and if I tell somebody "oh I don't drink" because I'm Muslim or "oh I don't eat pork" because I'm Muslim they wouldn't have any problem wit it. Similarly if a Jewish person says "oh I only eat kosher" no body will have a problem, but because we are veg that is somehow different and we are somehow an inconvenience? wtf!
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#2 Old 06-29-2010, 01:34 AM
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That happens to everyone sometimes. There isn't really anything to be done about it short of a full-fledged confrontation. I just try my best to let the omnis around me know that it's not their job to feed me. I always make EXTRA sure to say something like "Oh, it's no problem. Don't worry about it. I'm okay. Don't go to any extra trouble." if I think someone might get frustrated with my dietary preferences. If I'm at a friend's house and their parents offer something that's not vegan-friendly, I won't say "I can't eat that. I'm vegan." I'll say "Oh, no thank you." then they'll just think I'm not hungry, and then they won't feel obligated to find something I can eat, and, in turn, they won't feel put-upon to do so. But there are always people who want to complain and make you feel like crap because you care about animals. It's just a fact of life. *shrug*
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#3 Old 06-29-2010, 01:34 AM
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I don't know if I've ever been perceived as rude for being vegetarian, now vegan. But people sure do seem to be threatened by it.



I like to knit and just mention that you don't use wool for ethical reasons and someone starts in about all the pesticides used in cotton. True I know but I also buy organic cotton when possible.



I'm pretty quiet about being vegan but I have had people harass me about it at work. Moo at me. But I'm not about to change.
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#4 Old 06-29-2010, 02:00 AM
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(I hope you understand my bad English)

If you don't eat pork, because you are a muslim or jew, people understand that you have to respond (justify, answer) to Allah (or God) for your deeds. If you don't eat meat because you are a vegetarian, you are only responsible for your deeds to yourself. So the person asks you to create your own rule that says for "only this time" you may eat meat.



In fact I have to respond to nature.

My usual answer: I have never heard a convincing reason to eat meat.
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#5 Old 06-29-2010, 02:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teresa' date='29 June 2010 - 08:34 AM' timestamp='1277796870' post='2666161 View Post




I'm pretty quiet about being vegan but I have had people harass me about it at work. Moo at me. But I'm not about to change.

That made me laugh!



Happy Hippy and myself have a private joke thing running about the 'mooing of the herd'.



Quote:
Originally Posted by @rno' date='29 June 2010 - 09:00 AM' timestamp='1277798403' post='2666166 View Post


(I hope you understand my bad English)

Bad English?



Are a non English speaker @rno? Your English is far better than most.





Anyways to answer the topic question ..



People only find me rude if they push me into countering fallacious arguments against veg*nism.



It can't be avoided. They simply feel offended because their ignorance has been exposed.
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#6 Old 06-29-2010, 04:57 AM
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Well, I had Christian people rude to me about choose a vegetarian lifestyle but, I don't think I am rude just its more simpler this way. Why is it that when people advocate healthy eating and eating more vegetables, fruits,100 percent whole grains and in nature and those same people when it comes to vegetarians and even Vegans gets looks down upon?
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#7 Old 06-29-2010, 06:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitt' date='29 June 2010 - 03:34 AM' timestamp='1277796853' post='2666160 View Post


That happens to everyone sometimes. There isn't really anything to be done about it short of a full-fledged confrontation. I just try my best to let the omnis around me know that it's not their job to feed me. I always make EXTRA sure to say something like "Oh, it's no problem. Don't worry about it. I'm okay. Don't go to any extra trouble." if I think someone might get frustrated with my dietary preferences. If I'm at a friend's house and their parents offer something that's not vegan-friendly, I won't say "I can't eat that. I'm vegan." I'll say "Oh, no thank you." then they'll just think I'm not hungry, and then they won't feel obligated to find something I can eat, and, in turn, they won't feel put-upon to do so. But there are always people who want to complain and make you feel like crap because you care about animals. It's just a fact of life. *shrug*

This is what I do. I really try to make sure no one goes through extra trouble, and I rarely say "I can't eat that, it's not vegan" unless someone lime my mom is asking so that she knows where something does/doesn't have animal products in it.
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#8 Old 06-29-2010, 08:31 AM
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I generally try not to be any trouble because I don't like people to get the impression that it's difficult to be vegan.



If we're deciding where to go out to eat or something, people will generally ask me if a place is okay and I just say "Yeah, I don't mind at all - there will always be SOMETHING I can eat!" which is true. I'd be happy having just salad - I eat out for the company, not the food. [That might sound stupid]. Or if we go to a pizza place, I just ask for it without cheese as though it's no big deal... And it usually isn't.



But yeah, I know how you feel. There will always be people who like to confuse "vegan" or "vegetarian" with "fussy". [That REALLY irritates me, actually].
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#9 Old 06-29-2010, 09:10 AM
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Yeah I feel the same way. I was arguing with my mother about me being vegan and I said "If I had a dairy allergy or lactose intolerance, nobody would think twice about it", and she replied with "Well, you have neither of those things, so I don't get it". So apparently that makes me unreasonable. I really try my best not to, as I don't want to be one of the militant vegans who look down on people who eat meat (while I still personally disagree with their lifestyle choice of eating meat), but my mother says I get sort of an "ex-smoker" attitude sometimes. But who's bothered most by the ex-smoker? The people still smoking (killing themselves)!
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#10 Old 06-29-2010, 09:16 AM
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Wow! The ex-smoker analogy is probably the best one I've heard so far.
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#11 Old 06-29-2010, 09:21 AM
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Yes, people sometimes think I am rude for my food choices. I really don't care. Overall, though, I've never understood why anyone cares what other people think, outside of a business or similar situation?



I don't care how much extra work my MIL put into making that pie, if she used lard in the crust, I will not eat it. Period. If she had taken 2 seconds to think about it, she would have realized that. If she's offended, it's her own fault.



I am irritated by the people who find it acceptable to not eat something because they just don't like it, or if it's for a religious or health reason, but the instant anything about animal cruelty is brought up, I'm the "rude" one because I want a veggie option. Yet they're fine with someone who is "eating less meat because of their cholesterol.". Whatever.
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#12 Old 06-29-2010, 09:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyDog' date='29 June 2010 - 04:10 PM' timestamp='1277824217' post='2666246 View Post


Yeah I feel the same way. I was arguing with my mother about me being vegan and I said "If I had a dairy allergy or lactose intolerance, nobody would think twice about it", and she replied with "Well, you have neither of those things, so I don't get it". So apparently that makes me unreasonable.



You are not being unreasonable at all in my opinion.



I'm sure some people do find me rude but I don't care. I only really care about people I respect. I won't go out of my way to offend someone for no reason but I do usually speak my mind.



Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a vegan and so I don't usually get offered non-vegan stuff generally. If someone offers me something non-vegan I usually just say no politely and if they try and insist then I tell them I'm vegan and don't eat or use animal products. I haven't had too many negative reactions with saying that.
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#13 Old 06-29-2010, 11:38 AM
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No.
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#14 Old 06-29-2010, 01:45 PM
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I hate being a pain in the butt. Last weekend I was out with some friends and I was trying to order some food for us to share. I asked the waitress if she could make nachos with meat on just one half. "I guess so..." she sighed while rolling her eyes. I said, "Forget it, just make it a veggie nachos". A couple minutes later she comes back and says the cook will make it half meat. Fine. The order comes, it's got meat all over it. "Sorry, I'll bring you a basket of plain chips..." No thanks, never mind, I've caused enough trouble already.
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#15 Old 06-29-2010, 02:05 PM
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On the VBs some members can be very rude to each other .
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#16 Old 06-29-2010, 03:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parsnip' date='29 June 2010 - 08:45 PM' timestamp='1277840726' post='2666359 View Post


I hate being a pain in the butt. Last weekend I was out with some friends and I was trying to order some food for us to share. I asked the waitress if she could make nachos with meat on just one half. "I guess so..." she sighed while rolling her eyes. I said, "Forget it, just make it a veggie nachos". A couple minutes later she comes back and says the cook will make it half meat. Fine. The order comes, it's got meat all over it. "Sorry, I'll bring you a basket of plain chips..." No thanks, never mind, I've caused enough trouble already.



I hope you are joking about feeling bad for being "awkward". I would be furious with that type of service.
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#17 Old 06-29-2010, 05:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RabbitLuvr' date='29 June 2010 - 10:21 AM' timestamp='1277824882' post='2666254 View Post


I am irritated by the people who find it acceptable to not eat something because they just don't like it, or if it's for a religious or health reason, but the instant anything about animal cruelty is brought up, I'm the "rude" one because I want a veggie option. Yet they're fine with someone who is "eating less meat because of their cholesterol.". Whatever.



HUGE pet peeve of mine. I agree with your post completely.
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#18 Old 06-29-2010, 06:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyDog' date='29 June 2010 - 11:10 AM' timestamp='1277824217' post='2666246 View Post


but my mother says I get sort of an "ex-smoker" attitude sometimes.



Angry vegan FTW!

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#19 Old 06-29-2010, 06:50 PM
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hey thanks for the support everyone. truth is I'm a Muslim and many people respond badly to this I think because the Prophet Mohammed loved eating meat and so I suppose lots of Muslims think I should just blindly follow that (so untrue!! nothing in Islam says I can't be a vegetarian!!) In fact the Prophet Mohammed himself said so many times about how we should treat animals kindly and show them respect!! I am worried about Ramadan coming up because there is always a dinner each night and I don't want to offend people. Asians are reeeeeeeeeally pushy, you can't just say "oh that's ok I wont eat that" because they will just push and push and push and push and say "oh no come on, here eat it eat it eat it..." a million times until you have no choice but to tell them you are vegetarian! of course they are trying to be nice and courteous by never accepting no, but to me it's just quite annoying!! so I am quite worried about dinners at certain people's houses because I know they are going to take offense... but what can I do

!!
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#20 Old 06-29-2010, 08:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IloveyouRed' date='29 June 2010 - 08:50 PM' timestamp='1277859018' post='2666547 View Post


hey thanks for the support everyone. truth is I'm a Muslim and many people respond badly to this I think because the Prophet Mohammed loved eating meat



He loved a LOT of things that raised eyebrows



Quote:
According to the traditional sources, Aisha was six or seven years old when betrothed to Muhammad. American historian Denise Spellberg states that "these specific references to the bride's age reinforce Aisha's pre-menarcheal status and, implicitly, her virginity." This issue of her virginity was of great importance to early historians who supported the Abbasid Caliphate. These historians considered that as Muhammad's only virgin wife, Aisha was divinely intended for him, and therefore the most credible regarding the debate over the succession to Muhammad.



Aisha stayed in her parents' home for several years until she joined Muhammad and the marriage was consummated. Most of the sources indicate that she was nine years old at the time, with the single exception of al-Tabari, who records that she was ten


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#21 Old 06-29-2010, 09:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by draconian' date='29 June 2010 - 10:25 PM' timestamp='1277864745' post='2666605 View Post


He loved a LOT of things that raised eyebrows



hey... we all have our beliefs. Islam is just mine. In all honesty the modern day image of the Prophet Mohammed is based off of hadith (this is what sharia law is based upon as well) which many Muslims don't trust (I am one of those Muslims). Hadith are pretty much just heresay collections from members of the Muslim community that were collected after the Prophet's death so I never found them very legit in the first place... I can't really say what the Prophet Mohammed liked or didn't like. even the meat comment comes from hadith. who knows if its true or not.
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#22 Old 06-30-2010, 07:58 AM
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"If I had a dairy allergy or lactose intolerance, nobody would think twice about it",



I know this was way back on the first page but I just had to reply. I do have a dairy allergy and I still get criticized. People tend to think you are making it up!! I don't know how many times I've been told, "It's just a little bit of milk/butter/whatever."
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#23 Old 06-30-2010, 08:06 AM
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People find me rude but it has nothing to do with being vegetarian



I think some people don't understand the concept of not doing something because of your beliefs, and percieve vegetarianism as pickiness or rudness or stubourness. However I have never really come across this attitude by anyone close to me, I always take care to be gracious and polite and ask people not to make a fuss about me being vegan, and I think that helps. I also always make it very clear it's a moral choice for me, and it matters a lot to me, and most people just say good on you and that it's commendable.



That said, if someone tries to ask me to do something I don't believe in (ie: "make an exception" or implies that I'm rude, or anything) I'm always very firm and probally in some peoples oppinion rude. It's important to stand up for yourself and say "actually, these are my beliefs, and it's no unreasonable for me to ask you to respect that".
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#24 Old 06-30-2010, 08:08 AM
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I won't claim to know what people think. Sure, I bet some do think I'm rude. I don't care, because I think they're ugly.
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#25 Old 06-30-2010, 08:49 AM
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I've never really got why it's OK to say a vegetarian is rude if they refuse pork but it's considered bigoted if you say a Jew or a Muslim is rude for refusing pork. I've met people who would never, ever tell a Muslim to stop being fussy and just drink the wine, or a Jew to stop being fussy and just eat the bacon, they wouldn't even dream of it, but feel quite happy to tell your run-of-the-mill vegetarian to shut up and eat the beef. I dunno, to me bigotry is bigotry, you can't pick and choose who you want to be biased against, that runs counter to the whole "don't be a bigot" ideal to begin with.

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#26 Old 06-30-2010, 08:57 AM
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Yep. And maybe I am rude, but not to their faces. They can suck it.

You're gonna make me puke my pants.
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#27 Old 06-30-2010, 09:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana in IN' date='30 June 2010 - 01:58 PM' timestamp='1277906302' post='2666810 View Post


I know this was way back on the first page but I just had to reply. I do have a dairy allergy and I still get criticized. People tend to think you are making it up!! I don't know how many times I've been told, "It's just a little bit of milk/butter/whatever."

Yeah, and people are certainly not always understanding when you don't want to eat something for religious reasons, either.
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#28 Old 06-30-2010, 09:41 AM
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I really haven't been vegetarian all that long so I don't know what people think yet(they ask, but no one has been defensive or whatever yet), other than I might be a little crazy. :-p My bf though, he worries a little how it comes across (not that I lecture, just my refusal of food). He hasn't told his family that we're back together yet (not something I'm looking forward to because his mom really dislikes me and I'm not too find of her either). The veg thing will be new to them. When I asked him if we'll see any problems in the future with that (me refusing food his mom cooked) he said, "Oh you'll have to eat it!" Uh, the hell I will! I told him that wasn't an option and she would get over it, I just wanted to gauge the situation before I went into it.



I think people DO view vegetarians as snobby or holier than thou, NOT because they are, but because that's just how they perceive them simply for being "picky" about what they eat. If you go to a b-day party and refuse the cake, it can seem snobby, like "oh I'm too good for their cake". Of course, we all know that's NOT the case.



I do have a back-up though...I enlist the help of my medical issues if simply being upfront about my vegetarianism doesn't keep people off my back. I state that meat and dairy didn't/don't agree with me and if that still doesn't work, I start to go into extreme detail until they decide that it wasn't worth acting like a moron over. LOL
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#29 Old 07-03-2010, 09:51 PM
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nope....or at least i hope not....I try not to be....for the most part I dont bring up my veggie-ness unless people ask and I am really nice about it....I dont want people to jump all over me cause I am veggie and I assume others dont want that either....okay alot of people are curious and after we talk I may get them to eat a veggie meal but not become veggie and in my never to be humble opinion thats a good thing.... cause every little bit helps...I am not talking about ANYONE on this board but I have been jumped on by some Vegans....cause I have been Veggie for almost 21 years and for three of those years I was Vegan and extremely sick/ill/not okay to put it mildly and I have had people be extremely rude to me and talk down to me and tell me what a failure I am and I didnt like the way that felt...(I am over it now and an extremely proud veggie of almost 21 years) so I wouldnt ever make someone else feel that way in a million years....



peace
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#30 Old 07-03-2010, 10:19 PM
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Most of my friends don't see it as rude, just a hassle
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