Avoiding A Fish-fry - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 06-19-2010, 12:31 PM
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So my family just moved, and we have these very friendly neighbors. My parents talk to them all the time, and even my dog is friends with their dogs. They love to fish(they said they caught like 50 blue gills in the past few months) and they invited us and lots of other people to a fish fry. Luckily , for this one I'll be gone at a summer camp, but I'm certain they'll invite us to lots more. I told them I'm a vegetarian, and they were like "Why? You can't miss out on this! It's so good!" and then "Don't worry, we wont tell anyone if you eat fish." I just laughed at that, although I was actually horrified. I certainly won't eat it, but I don't want to refuse their next invitation rudely, and I can't really use the meat industry as the reason I wont eat their fish, since they caught them themselves. And they will probably just stare at me if I tell them I also am vegetarian for environmental reasons,health, and because I think eating another animal is just disgusting. Any suggestions for what I should do?
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#2 Old 06-19-2010, 12:43 PM
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just be charming and say you don't eat fish. you don't need to give them reasons. do they have reasons for eating it? would you ask them why they eat fish? just go for the company and bring something else to eat, or eat something else there that you might be able to have
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#3 Old 06-19-2010, 02:04 PM
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I'm with AlleyDove- you don't need to give them a reason. Just politely stick to your guns and eat their potatoes or corn or whatever. I can relate though- my father in law never accepted my veg*nism and frequently said things just like "it's so good!, I won't tell!, etc. Very frustrating, I know. ::hugs::
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#4 Old 06-19-2010, 03:48 PM
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It stinks, I know. I have to agree with the advice you've been given. Sometimes people can be so pushy.They seem like pretty nice folks, so I would think that once it's settled that you don't eat animals, they'll understand. Maybe you could whip up something tasty to bring and just relax and enjoy the company.Good luck.
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#5 Old 06-19-2010, 04:15 PM
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Yup I agree with everyone who has replied. Just go there and hang out for the company.
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#6 Old 06-19-2010, 08:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fadeaway1289' date='19 June 2010 - 06:15 PM' timestamp='1276989318' post='2661398 View Post


Yup I agree with everyone who has replied. Just go there and hang out for the company.



totally agree and have a great time



peace & love
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#7 Old 06-19-2010, 09:09 PM
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I'm sure there will be other foods there too and/or you could bring something to share. Don't try to explain if you feel you are being pressured. State the facts pleasantly and just say they other things look lovely, there will be plenty of that for you. You can tell them you were excited to spend time with them and that it wasn't about the meal. No one can really argue w/ "I've just felt so much better healthwise and I'm happier since I've decided to be a vegetarian." Save the heavy stuff for another time and have fun.
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#8 Old 06-19-2010, 11:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonoro' date='19 June 2010 - 03:31 PM' timestamp='1276975890' post='2661300 View Post


but I don't want to refuse their next invitation rudely,



you could turn them down in a very kind and gentle manner.

--
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#9 Old 06-20-2010, 01:05 PM
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You should take offense that they are trying to get you to do something you dont agree with.



Decline them politely "No thank you, I don't eat meat. No exceptions." each time they ask. Be honest to them, if they continue to pressure you many times in the future ask them to respect your beliefs.



I know its hard, and its sometimes awkward to deal with people like that.
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#10 Old 06-20-2010, 01:41 PM
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+1^



Take a dandy dish with you and socialize a little, but don't let them pressure you into eating fish, or feel bad about not eating it.
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#11 Old 06-20-2010, 03:03 PM
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I would just politely say "I am a vegetarian and I wish you would respect my views. I know you're not trying to be rude, but your comments are." or "I'm a vegetarian, I don't believe in taking another life. Please respect my views and don't put me in an uncomfortable spot."
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#12 Old 06-20-2010, 03:27 PM
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It's funny, they would probably have taken it better if you'd just said you don't like fish! Lots of people don't like fish, and that's that. But one thing I found my first year off meat was that when people kept prodding and needling like that, they were really trying to find out if I ever made any exceptions. Because if I ever did, they wanted to be one of those exceptions. So once they get that you're an all-the-time vegetarian, even from turkey on Thanksgiving, even from Grandma's aspic and mince pie, even from your neighbors' fish they caught themselves, people do tend to lay off eventually. If you're a kid and they're adults it sometimes takes longer, but they will ease up once they know you mean it. And yeah, from what you write, they actually are being rude and disrespectful, though they probably wouldn't see it that way. One thing adults should never let themselves forget is how creepy it felt, being a kid while adults try to impose their will on you for no good reason.



In a pinch, you could always tell them meat and fish make you violently ill. That one works every time. "If you put a gun to my head I could take a bite, but I couldn't keep it down."
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#13 Old 06-20-2010, 03:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Treehugger267' date='20 June 2010 - 05:09 AM' timestamp='1277006959' post='2661571 View Post


I'm sure there will be other foods there too and/or you could bring something to share. Don't try to explain if you feel you are being pressured. State the facts pleasantly and just say they other things look lovely, there will be plenty of that for you. You can tell them you were excited to spend time with them and that it wasn't about the meal. No one can really argue w/ "I've just felt so much better healthwise and I'm happier since I've decided to be a vegetarian." Save the heavy stuff for another time and have fun.



Yes. I agree here - bring something to share, so you're contributing, but don't look like you're trying to outdo them. Just be unobtrusive, put it on the table, say you're excited to meet them and spend time with them, and enjoy. But it is hard!!! Good luck.
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#14 Old 06-20-2010, 04:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joan Kennedy' date='20 June 2010 - 05:27 PM' timestamp='1277072837' post='2661917 View Post




In a pinch, you could always tell them meat and fish make you violently ill. That one works every time. "If you put a gun to my head I could take a bite, but I couldn't keep it down."





Haha, I was actually seriously considering saying I can't digest meat....but I don't think my parents will back me up with that.







Thanks for the help everyone. I thought I would have to go into a detailed explanation on why I won't eat their fish, but I guess I don't have to....hopefully they'll at least somewhat "understand".
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