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Why do guys act so weird?

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
Within the past week, I have been talking to this guy on facebook. We've seen each other around school but never took the time to get to know each other. So, turns out we both have tons in common and we've been texting and whatever. So, yesterday after school ended I got the nerve to go up to him and say hello. He was really sweet and he seemed flustered and whatnot. He walked me to his car and gave me a hug and I thought that was cute. Personally, I felt like he was interested in me.



Afterwards, we started talking and he was acting so strange. He just seemed so weird, not very talkative and hasn't talked to me since yesterday. I know he has a life, but how can he do a complete 180?



What is going onnn?
post #2 of 22
What does this have to do with his gender? I think some people are weird, or hard to understand maybe, but it's nothing to do with gender.



I think the only way to know what's going on is to ask him.
post #3 of 22
Quote:
Why do guys act so weird?



Because we are weird, of course.

Seriously, though, he might just be really shy. And if he feels like he came off poorly when you talked in person, maybe he's nervous about talking to you again. Or maybe he's trying to play it cool and not seem too interested.
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post #4 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nessus View Post

Because we are weird, of course.

Seriously, though, he might just be really shy. And if he feels like he came off poorly when you talked in person, maybe he's nervous about talking to you again. Or maybe he's trying to play it cool and not seem too interested.



i feel like i may have intimidated him too much. and to the poster above this one, gender matters because i don't really know of any girls who do this lol. guys are notorious for doing this.
post #5 of 22
you don't know any girls who act weird? oh dear me. i bet every boy on the planet does.



people are generally weird and complicated. i think a lot of the problem is that we can't read each others minds and we think about stuff way too much, and read way too much into stuff, then use our wnderful imaginations to fill in the gaps in our knowledge and dabble with reality a bit.



you know whats weird? that you're all worried cos you haven't spoken since OMG yesterday!!!!1 i know its hard, but try your best to calm down. thats not very long, really. a million boys would be bewildered by that one.



so maybe yesterday he was feeling a bit dopey or tired or distracted or unsociable or generally not chatty. maybe he's gone out today. maybe he was slightly overwhelmed by you showing up and saying hi and doesn't really know whats going on with that so has stepped back a bit to regroup. maybe he thinks he did or said something embarrassing that your failed to notice and is secretly cringing and kicking himself in his room. maybe you've started acting just a teeny weesy bit weird yourself and he's thinking "why do girls act so weird?" this very minute.



maybe just wait a bit and be cool and definately don't go spilling your guts in some bizzare rambly angsty email to him on on facebook (some girls have been known to do this sort of thing, not saying you would but erm... some of us *ahem* i mean them have. and it doesn't help at all with maintaining the fragile facade of not-crazy and the boys don't really know quite what to do with that and tend to quite wisely run away).



just chill. try not to think about it too much. you'll give yourself a headache and totally lose perspective and most likely get it wrong if you attempt to guess whats going on. just be normal, and the complexities of human interactions will become a bit more obvious and start to make sense soon ... like when you're 75 or so.
post #6 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by cerise View Post

Personally, I felt like he was interested in me.



I think he might've realized that too and felt self-conscious. He's probably unsure of whether or not YOU are interested in him, so that might've triggered the behaviour. Maybe he felt like he was being too obvious with the hug, and tried to compensate (poorly). Does that make any sense?

What I mean is, I think he just got a bit paranoid, that's all. Or, maybe he was just having an off day/moment and something happened.



It's just this one incident, so I say don't give it too much thought and get to know him better.



Good luck!
post #7 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by hoodedclawjen View Post

you don't know any girls who act weird? oh dear me. i bet every boy on the planet does.



people are generally weird and complicated. i think a lot of the problem is that we can't read each others minds and we think about stuff way too much, and read way too much into stuff, then use our wnderful imaginations to fill in the gaps in our knowledge and dabble with reality a bit.



you know whats weird? that you're all worried cos you haven't spoken since OMG yesterday!!!!1 i know its hard, but try your best to calm down. thats not very long, really. a million boys would be bewildered by that one.



so maybe yesterday he was feeling a bit dopey or tired or distracted or unsociable or generally not chatty. maybe he's gone out today. maybe he was slightly overwhelmed by you showing up and saying hi and doesn't really know whats going on with that so has stepped back a bit to regroup. maybe he thinks he did or said something embarrassing that your failed to notice and is secretly cringing and kicking himself in his room. maybe you've started acting just a teeny weesy bit weird yourself and he's thinking "why do girls act so weird?" this very minute.



maybe just wait a bit and be cool and definately don't go spilling your guts in some bizzare rambly angsty email to him on on facebook (some girls have been known to do this sort of thing, not saying you would but erm... some of us *ahem* i mean them have. and it doesn't help at all with maintaining the fragile facade of not-crazy and the boys don't really know quite what to do with that and tend to quite wisely run away).



just chill. try not to think about it too much. you'll give yourself a headache and totally lose perspective and most likely get it wrong if you attempt to guess whats going on. just be normal, and the complexities of human interactions will become a bit more obvious and start to make sense soon ... like when you're 75 or so.



This is good advice.
post #8 of 22
I don't think enough time has passed for you to judge him as "weird."
post #9 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudVegan View Post

I don't think enough time has passed for you to judge him as "weird."



she didn't say he was weird, just that his recent actions were weird. i act reeeaaaally weirdly sometimes. that doesn't make me entirely a weirdo- just a relatively normal someone having some rather weird moments. thats my story and i'm sticking to it, anyway!
post #10 of 22
I skimmed the post when I first replied. I didn't realize it's only been a day. It sounds like you're being a little clingy. I don't think you should freak out or judge him, it's been ONE day.

Lots of girls are "weird". It's not cool to stereotype by gender.
post #11 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by animallover7249 View Post

What does this have to do with his gender? I think some people are weird, or hard to understand maybe, but it's nothing to do with gender.



okay, i understand what you are saying. but i have never dated a girl and nor do i plan to lol. yes, people are weird. both genders can say the other is confusing. however, most men show their feelings way differently than women and they usually aren't straightforward, at least in my opinion.



and the whole "clingy" thing.. well i tend to date people for a long time. and i've just recently gotten out of a relationship. and talking to someone new is so exciting for me and i just don't want something to happen to that.
post #12 of 22
Well do you like or interested in this guy at all?
post #13 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by hoodedclawjen View Post

maybe just wait a bit and be cool and definately don't go spilling your guts in some bizzare rambly angsty email to him on on facebook (some girls have been known to do this sort of thing, not saying you would but erm... some of us *ahem* i mean them have. and it doesn't help at all with maintaining the fragile facade of not-crazy and the boys don't really know quite what to do with that and tend to quite wisely run away).



My friend has a habit of doing this as well. She will also blog about it for everyone to see and yes each time the guy ran away. So yeah, not a good idea.
post #14 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by fadeaway1289 View Post

My friend has a habit of doing this as well. She will also blog about it for everyone to see and yes each time the guy ran away. So yeah, not a good idea.



yeah, its a big mistake. i'd put it right up there with getting drunk, then calling his house and blubbering your paranoia at his mum over the phone for half an hour, or stalking then confronting and pouring out your heart to all of his friends in an attempt to work out what he's thinking and to get them to let him know that your heart is breaking and that he can totally approach you in an attempt to remedy the situation.



in both cases the message that'll be passed to him will start with the words "so this really insane girl....." and thats not generally the look you're going for.



*sigh* there are so many things we really should not do. its exceedingly complex and difficult.
post #15 of 22
I wouldn't over analyse it too much - sounds like 'he's just not that into you.' If he was, you'd know it and wouldn't be questioning his actions. His loss!
post #16 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smurfbabe View Post

I wouldn't over analyse it too much - sounds like 'he's just not that into you.' If he was, you'd know it and wouldn't be questioning his actions. His loss!

Nos ways! It could bees just as much her loss! Mabye this guys is not the "typical, care about one ting, dude". Hes could bes, just maybe, just a bits more com;plex ands intiresting then de average joe.
post #17 of 22
I wonder the same thing about girls all the time. Like how they get all upset because I don't call them 2 hours after we just met for the first time. Seriously, what's up with that?



Half the girls in the world apparently don't want you to look needy and take your time, and the other half want you to call them every 5 minutes. Such a weird, odd gender. I give up trying to figure it out. Wish I was gay, that's the truth.
post #18 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by DNK View Post

Half the girls in the world apparently don't want you to look needy and take your time, and the other half want you to call them every 5 minutes. Such a weird, odd gender. I give up trying to figure it out. Wish I was gay, that's the truth.



A lot of the girls/women who want you to do that are the exact same person!
post #19 of 22
Quote:
He was really sweet and he seemed flustered and whatnot. He walked me to his car and gave me a hug and I thought that was cute. Personally, I felt like he was interested in me.



I think he's afraid of you. Try texting him again. Go slow.
post #20 of 22
just ask him out otherwise you will grow old and die not ever knowing what could have been . . .
post #21 of 22
Another vote for just asking him.



Sometimes ambiguity is tolerated because it lets both parties assume what they want to assume.



But when there are questions, come out and ask. Don't blame him by saying something like "why are you acting weird?" (placing the blame on him), because he's going to be defensive, instead phrase it in a neutral way by saying "I enjoyed meeting you, but did you enjoy it too?' or something like that (sorry for the lame wording, coffee hasn't taken effect yet. Hmmmmm, coffee. Coffee never acts weird, unlike brains without coffee at 7:45 am with very, very little sleep the previous night.)



Anyways, ask him.
post #22 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by DNK View Post

Wish I was gay, that's the truth.





lmao.



I understand the one day thing. When you start talking loads non-stop, it is weird when someone stops suddenly.
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