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Reverse accommodation??

post #1 of 70
Thread Starter 
I'm wondering....most people aren't vegetarian/vegan, so it's safe to say that most of the time, people accomidate them when having parties and dinners and such. So would anyone consider accomidating an omni to a party or dinner they're throwing?? I know there's the obvious thing that vegatarians/vegans have more reasons why we don't eat meat, and most omni's understand to accomidate, and omni's don't have any restrictions really...but just out of kindness maybe to someone you know who might not like or want to try the veggie food you're serving, would you accomidate them buying serving meat?
post #2 of 70
I would absolutely accommodate my meatarian friends and family. That's because I expect and want them to respect my dietary wishes, and they do. They are more than willing to accommodate me and I in kind will do the same for them. I don't judge them based upon what they eat and don't want them to do that to me. It's called mutual respect.



I'm guessing that most of the veg*ns that post a response will say "hell no" (just doing off of what I have come across on these boards thus far). But I think that's way out of line. I don't see how vegetairans can so often be so selfish, they expect to be accepted, accommodated and respected by meatarians...yet they rarely give it back to them. When it comes to veg*ns they often have an "it's my way or the highway attitude" when it comes to food situations... which I think is assinine.
post #3 of 70
I don't have a my way or the highway mentality. When my omni friends spent a week here we went shopping together. For the most part they ate veg*n food. But they did bring in some convenience omni products for the kids, and I was fine with that.



The longer I'm veg, the less I think I wanna cook and/or handle meat though. I don't judge folks for what they eat, but I'm not gonna have a party and invite all the omnis and cook meat for them when there are veg*n alternatives that aren't strange.



We bring our own veggie burgers, etc to picnics and potlucks. So no one has to go out of their way for us.
post #4 of 70
Actually, I don't expect others to go out of their way to accomodate me. I either bring a dish to share, eat the vegetarian side dishes that are available, or just don't do functions where food is involved.
post #5 of 70
If I'm inviting someone for dinner, they can either eat what I cook or not come. I will not make a meat dish if I'm the one who invited people over. I'll try to see what foods they like and if there are any allergies etc. If they are so shallow that don't want to come just because there's not meat, then I don't want to be friends with them anyways. I've never had that problem.



Alternatively, I don't expect people to accomodate me if they invite me for supper. I mean, most people will have non-meat dishes with their meal anways. I'm lacto-ovo, so that makes it a little easier too. If someone has a BBQ, I take my own veggie burgers. If they bought me some that's great, but I certainly don't hold anything against them if they don't. If I'm with a group and we order pizza, we just get more than one pizza or half-and-half.
post #6 of 70
Quote:
Originally Posted by kirkjobsluder View Post

Actually, I don't expect others to go out of their way to accomodate me. I either bring a dish to share, eat the vegetarian side dishes that are available, or just don't do functions where food is involved.





Ditto. I would not buy or prepare meat for an omni. I am veggie for ethical reasons, not because I "don't like" or "don't want to try" meat. By the same token, I wouldn't expect Muslim to provide me with alcohol, either.
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post #7 of 70
I don't find serving death bodies a nice way to invite someone to my house. However, I will go out of my way to try to make a meal that appeals to my guests. So far that has worked really well!
post #8 of 70
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiz View Post

Ditto. I would not buy or prepare meat for an omni. I am veggie for ethical reasons, not because I "don't like" or "don't want to try" meat. By the same token, I wouldn't expect Muslim to provide me with alcohol, either.



There is an excellent example. I don't expect non-drinkers to offer after-dinner drinks. I also don't expect real coffee when I go to my parent's house. And while my dearest Mom in Law likes to buy veggie sausage for us when we visit, I'd be just as happy with toast and jam, oatmeal or grits.
post #9 of 70
I just threw a wedding shower for missleigh and her fiance. There was not a thing there that was not vegan. Because the party was for them and they are vegans, that's what I wanted to do. I knew early on that I did not want them to be stuck with the vegetable plate at a party in their honor.



If it's a mixed party for no one in particular (Halloween, etc.), then guests are welcome to bring a meat dish (especially since most of the parties thrown by me or my goup of friends are informal and pot luck). I only cook meat for my husband. (That sounds naughty.)
post #10 of 70
Nope, no meat in our home. I do attempt to serve as "normal" a dish as I can to omnivore friends--i.e. no tofu. Likewise, I don't expect other people to serve me alcohol, or caffeine, etc. or anything else they find morally objectionable.
post #11 of 70
I think the difference is that omni's eat vegetables too. It's far easier for them to adapt to a meatless meal than it is for us to adapt to a meal centered around meat. For example, omni's can eat a vegetarian lasagna but vegetarians can't/won't eat a meat lasagna.
post #12 of 70
I don't think so. Most of the time, "accomodating" is feeding me salad and bread. I don't make "weird" vegetarian meals to people who aren't accustomed to them (like tofu for the non tofu eaters), I just make good food that would be familiar to them (like vegetable lasagna) but does not include meat. It isn't like omnis have an aversion to eating vegetarian like vegetarians would have an aversion to eating meat. I think vegetarian meals can accomodate everyone fairly.
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post #13 of 70
under no circumstances would i serve meat. omni's can eat vegan food perfectly well and have no ethical or health reasons not to. and my food tastes good, i never get complaints.



however, i am a very accomodating host when my guests have special requests or needs. i have had situations where people with food sensitivities and allergies have been present at my parties and i have made sure to make the entire meal, or at least a good portion of the meal, friendly to their palates and bodies. i have also served meals that are accomodating of other types of eating (ie. following the principals of "proper" food combining, raw foodism, fruitariansim).



i would find it insulting to be asked by a guest in my home to buy, prepare, and serve meat. if they don't have respect for my beliefs and ethics, they can turn down my dinner invitation. luckily, i've never had that situation arise. i have good friends.
post #14 of 70
I was pondering this the other day when somebody confronted me with, "Since normal restaurants provide vegetarian meals, shouldn't vegetarian restaurants provide meals for those that eat meat?"



Anyway, I think the key point is what was mentioned: that if ones reason for not eating meat and/or other animal products is an ethical reason then I don't think that person can be faulted for not providing meat for guests, friends, etc.



I think an important factor, too, is that non-vegans do eat vegan food all the time. Thus, if you are cooking a meal for friends, why should they refuse simply because it isn't centered around some carcass?



If I wanted to throw some sort of party, or just gathering, for a particular special occasion, why should I not make all the food available vegan? Just because one isn't a vegan, doesn't mean they have to have meat in everything they eat. So, in such a case of catering for a gathering, I wouldn't see there as being a need to 'accomodate' them because meat isn't the only food they eat.



I would try to put together a delicious selection that I think would appeal to those in attendance, and I would try to accomodate for those with specific needs [gluten and soy allergies, or ethical reasons for not eating legumes perhaps].



Though I never expect people to go out of their way for me, I never ask, and I've never expected.
post #15 of 70
oh yeah. and, i never expect any of my omni friends to make special arrangements for me at their dinner parties. when invited to something i suspect will be an omnivourous affair, i say, "great, i'll bring a <insert vegan dish here> to share, is that cool?" and they are happy to hear it. BUT, i have awesome friends who almost always make sure there's something for me and my family to munch on at their gatherings. they rock.
post #16 of 70
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toefur View Post

I was pondering this the other day when somebody confronted me with, "Since normal restaurants provide vegetarian meals, shouldn't vegetarian restaurants provide meals for those that eat meat?"



Should Thai resturaunts serve bangers and mashed for people who want English food?
post #17 of 70
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWingsFan View Post

It's called mutual respect.



Come on RWF! If it was mutual respect, you wouldn't be turning your back on your beliefs to feed your omni friends. Are they so carniverous that they can't consume one meatless meal in respect for your values?



Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWingsFan View Post

I'm guessing that most of the veg*ns that post a response will say "hell no" (just doing off of what I have come across on these boards thus far). But I think that's way out of line. I don't see how vegetairans can so often be so selfish, they expect to be accepted, accommodated and respected by meatarians...yet they rarely give it back to them. When it comes to veg*ns they often have an "it's my way or the highway attitude" when it comes to food situations... which I think is assinine.



Whoa.



I don't think that yours is a very accurate assumption of how most of us behave.



The thing is that, personally speaking, I have very little opportunity to be selfish when it comes to dining in public settings. How many company parties and weddings have I had to endure with "zero" vegan options, and precious few vegetarian options? And how many times have I had to leave a restaurant still hungry because the only dish that I could eat was a salad? And all the while I'm watching my co-diners stuff themselves full, and I hear their raving and ranting about how delicious the roast beef was, or how tender the pork tenderloin was.



I accept this as part of my decision to be different, and to stand up for what I believe in. I have some omni friends and family who, knowing full well what my beliefs are, still insist on filling me in on how juicy and tender their steak was, and how I don't know what I'm missing. I selfishly smile and nod and say to them, "I'm glad you enjoyed your meal".



To be honest, I often feel like a pushover for taking it, but I don't want to appear assinine to my friends.



So, considering all of this, I cannot see how it would be advantageous for me to compromise myself to the point of preparing a meat-centered meal for my omni company. They already realise how cool and understanding and non-judgemental I am of their dietary choices. How am I helping them to understand just how serious I am about my dietary choices if I feed them food that I would not myself eat? In my opinion that's a lost opportunity to educate them about vegetarian and vegan food, and thus improve my chances of reciprocation at their dinner parties.



Regardless, I always bring along my vegan alternatives. I refuse to let closed minds and ignorance get in the way of me having a great time!
post #18 of 70
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kreeli View Post

under no circumstances would i serve meat. omni's can eat vegan food perfectly well and have no ethical or health reasons not to.

Totally agree with this. In addition, I really don't know how to cook meat. If for some bizarre reason I tried, I'd probably present my guests with something undercooked or a charcoal briquette.

Quote:
and my food tastes good, i never get complaints.

Well I can't make that claim. I'm not a good cook.... ^__^
post #19 of 70
I would liken the eating of meat in my home (assuming it was mine alone) to smoking. Smokers don't generally expect to be accomodated in the homes of non-smokers. It can't be a health issue, because non-smokers won't get lung cancer from inhaling it for an evening. It's just gross for me to look at, gross to smell, and I don't want it around me.



Part of the reason I'm veg*n is not to contribute to the meat industry... that's the only greater-than-symbolic action one can take. If I'm having guests to dinner, they will be served good food that doesn't conflict with my morals. Would you expect a steak if you went to the house of a Hindu or a Jain? I doubt it.
post #20 of 70
Thread Starter 
This is how I feel on the subject.



If I had a dinner party, the meal would be vegan. However, if someone wanted an omni dish, they would be more than welcome to bring thier own. When I am at someone else's house, the same rules apply. If they're omni, I don't expect them to cater to me; instead I will bring a vegan dish for myself with enough for everyone to try. This way works for me.
post #21 of 70
No, however, I have cooked meat dishes for my husband. He doesn't ask me to do it, but I ocassionaly do it because I know it makes him happy. He has "sacrificed" his eating habits for me for almost 7 years, and I really appreciate it. He has supported and stuck up for me when his family felt that I should just suck it up, and eat whatever is served during the holidays. He has choked down food that he never would've willingly tried, had any other person put it in front of him, and after finishing the meal, gently said, "that wasn't my favorite meal". He has very strongly supported my efforts to raise our son a vegetarian. He hasn't become a vegetarian, simply, because he likes meat. I'm not going to try and change him, because he hasn't tried to change me.
post #22 of 70
I wonder when sticking to one's principles and beliefs became out of line and selfish. Damn holier-than-thou omni-appeasing vegetarians.
post #23 of 70
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWingsFan View Post

It's called mutual respect.



I call it ignorance. You are ignorant as well, as you have shown repeatedly that you simply don't (or don't want to) understand that it's not a two way street. There is an ethical objection on my side against meat, but there is NO ethical objection on meat eaters' side against vegan food. They do not consider vegan food unethical, while I consider meat unethical. So we simply settle on the lowest common denominator, which is vegan food. Vegan food is a subset of omnivore food. Vegan food is the food nobody has ethical problems with (and I guarantee that not many would "tastewise" object to my vegan main courses and my girlfriend's vegan desserts). That's why it's OK to serve only vegan foods. It's perfectly logical and in fact the only solution that respects everybody.





Quote:
I don't see how vegetairans can so often be so selfish, they expect to be accepted, accommodated and respected by meatarians...yet they rarely give it back to them.



Selfish? Come on. I am a friendly guy. I will accept, accomodate and respect most anything - as long as it doesn't involve the unnecessary slaughter of living and feeling beings. If you had a guest who liked to torture animals for their amusement, would you provide an animal for them to torture at your dinner party, just to accomodate them? If no, why not? In what way is meat different? I will not provide dead animals for anyone. Yeah I guess I am unrespectful, with some things. For instance, I do NOT respect unnecessary killing. Do you?





Quote:
When it comes to veg*ns they often have an "it's my way or the highway attitude" when it comes to food situations... which I think is assinine.



That seems to be your favorite word (you could learn to spell it right, though).
post #24 of 70
I do not cook meat in my home, and I never will. And like several others have said, I don't expect to be catered to when I go to other people's homes( and often I'm not catered to at all). I don't consider it "even" since most people are not morally against eating vegetables, fruits, or grains.

Plus, I usually like to wow guests with a great vegan meal so they can know something beyond dry salad and a breadstick.
post #25 of 70
My personal reasoning is that since an omni doesn't avoid plants, its perfectly reasonable for them to eat a vegan meal- its not reasonable for a vegan to eat an omni meal, because they don't eat meat. Thats the difference in accomodation.

That said, I would not prepare meat under any normal circumstances. I did it once on a mission trip I did in Arizona....I think I trimmed like, 20 chicken breasts. Not an experience I plan to repeat.

Still, if an omni wanted to prepare and eat meat at my house, I would allow them to. Partly I think this is because all my life I have grown up aroud meat; in fact both my roomate and my family still eats it. I choose to feel that people can make their own decision regarding what they eat and how they choose to eat it.
post #26 of 70
Like nkuvu, I have no idea how to store or cook meat, so even if I was willing to cook it I wouldn't be able to.



I once heated up a frozen chicken burger for my BIL, and panicked about such a simple thing as that. I was terrified I'd end up giving him food poisoning.



I do have a long-life carton of milk in my cupboard though, for when family visit.



Quote:
Originally Posted by shagginabit View Post

If I had a dinner party, the meal would be vegan. However, if someone wanted an omni dish, they would be more than welcome to bring thier own. When I am at someone else's house, the same rules apply. If they're omni, I don't expect them to cater to me; instead I will bring a vegan dish for myself with enough for everyone to try. This way works for me.



Agreed.
post #27 of 70
Quote:
Originally Posted by shagginabit View Post

This is how I feel on the subject.



If I had a dinner party, the meal would be vegan. However, if someone wanted an omni dish, they would be more than welcome to bring thier own. When I am at someone else's house, the same rules apply. If they're omni, I don't expect them to cater to me; instead I will bring a vegan dish for myself with enough for everyone to try. This way works for me.



Exactly how I feel too. Besides I only share meals with people after I've tasted it first (maybe cause I'm not that great of a cook). So I couldn't obviously serve a chicken dish, cause I'm not tastin' that chicken first!



I've realized that my "hard core" omni friends bring their own food when they come to my place. Its kinda like those friends who automatically bring their own sodas, and juices cause they know I never have more than water and orange juice in my house anyway.



There's just too much you can make without meat that omni's WILL eat without having to make a meat dish. Just my opnion.
post #28 of 70
I wouldn't have someone bring or cook meat in my home. Whenever we have company, I cook tons of vegan food and everyone is very happy. Our friends will tell me they've been looking forward to eating at our house all week



When we go out to someone's house or to a party, I'll bring a vegan dish or our own food. I don't expect anyone to go out of their way for us, even though most people want to.
post #29 of 70
I can't believe someone would suggest such a thing as "reverse accommodation." I am a vegan and don't buy animal products, so I obviously would not purchase anything from the store for omnivores and bring it into my cruelty-free home.



No. 2, whether family and friends agree with my choice to be vegan or not, they know because I tell them, that my home is a peaceful home, that no animal products will ever be put in my refrigerator.



If some omnivore is so stupid to think that they can't survive one meal without flesh, despite my existence as a vegan for almost a year now, then they can stay at home and eat their dead animals while I enjoy gourmet plant-based food.



I also usually tell people ahead of time what I am making to see if it sounds good or appetizing to them. I use minimal amounts of soy, if at all, in cooking to try to avoid giving guests gas or bloating if they're not used to those products.



I am having a Thanksgiving meal at my house, and right now I am compiling a list of two or three main courses and two or three desserts for the guests to choose from.



When I go to people's houses, I bring my own food always. I don't want food prepared in an omnivorous household, plus I eat mostly organic and they don't.



It would be disrespectful and selfish of an omnivore to expect a vegan to prepare flesh foods or animal-secretion-containing food, not selfish of the vegan. I have morals and values that I stick to. People generally respect me for that. If they don't, they can eat at home, as I said earlier.
post #30 of 70
Going to a vegetarian's home and expecting them to serve you meat is like going to a Mormon's home and expecting them to serve you cocktails. It's ridiculous.



Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon View Post

My personal reasoning is that since an omni doesn't avoid plants, its perfectly reasonable for them to eat a vegan meal- its not reasonable for a vegan to eat an omni meal, because they don't eat meat. Thats the difference in accomodation.



This is pretty much my reasoning as well. I have never cooked meat. I don't even know how, and I find the thought of doing so revolting. No one who truly respected me would ask me to do this for them.



People don't generally go out of their way to accomodate me, anyway. At most parties I just eat side dishes and desserts. At a barbecue I will bring my own veggie burgers to grill and a side dish.
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