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Anyone had a Vegan wedding??

post #1 of 35
4/20/03 at 5:37pm
Thread Starter 
My SO and i are getting married sometime soon or when i get a chance to organise something, with two babies under 16 months i have trouble finding time.



We are having a traditional Handfasting ceremony in a park somewhere and then just a casual reception/picnic afterwards with Vegan catering, wheni can find someone. Anyway....



I was wondering if anyone here has had something catered Vegan and how did all the guests react?? I will put a warning on the invites and would it be considered rude to ask people to consider the environment etc when buying gifts??
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post #2 of 35
4/20/03 at 5:44pm
ive never had a veg*n wedding or been to one

i dont think it would be rude to put please consider the enviroment but i do think some people would not understand what you meant

for the food are you going to enclude omni food or just vegan food ?
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post #3 of 35
4/20/03 at 6:06pm
I was at a wedding once, and the chocolate cake was vegan. It was incredible it's become one of my favorite places to get cakes from. I don't remember the rest of the food though, I think it was omni..
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post #4 of 35
4/20/03 at 9:37pm
Thread Starter 
The food will all be Vegan, my family wouldn't expect anything else
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post #5 of 35
4/20/03 at 11:05pm
Thread Starter 
If I could respectfully offer an opinion (and of course, feel free to cheerfully ignore it!)...



Why put a "warning" on the invitation? Is there something negative about vegan food that people need to watch out for? That's sort of like saying, "OK, everybody, there's going to be a bunch of FREAK FOOD here."



IMO, warning people that the food is vegan is setting up a negative expectation in the minds of your omni guests... like, "Look out! The food is going to be weird! You might not like it since it doesn't have meat!"



Assume they'll think the best... but realize that whether you "warn" them or not, some omnis will grumble and say rude things about accomodating guests... but then again... some guests will just always complain!



OK, hope that wasn't offensive... and... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
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post #6 of 35
4/20/03 at 11:16pm
My wife and I were married last October, and since my mother was picking up the tab, we found a place where she and several other close family members could eat "free range" filet mignon, and my wife and are were able to have delicious vegan meals. That's very unusual, though, I'd imagine.



The restaurant, in case any of you are from or ever visit Los Angeles, is Inn of the Seventh Ray in Topanga Canyon. They also have a raw food menu. I highly recommend it, if it's in the budget!
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post #7 of 35
4/21/03 at 12:11am
I've never been to or had a vegan wedding, but i know that when I get married, it will definately be vegetarian..and the cake will be vegan. As my boyfriend's parents tell me "it's your day, do as you please...everyone else can just deal with it and suck it up" and I whole-heartedly agree
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post #8 of 35
4/21/03 at 5:02am
AussieVeganMum, who are you using? I would be very interested to know...



Also, I agree there is probably no need to put warnings, as long as there's a range of food (not everyone likes mushies, etc). And you could write (or get one of our resident poets to write) a lovely poem about how you would like them to make sure their gift is environmentally friendly...



p.s. Are you having a handfasting for any spiritual reason? Just curious, as mine will be similar...
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post #9 of 35
4/21/03 at 7:49am
When my husband and I got married we didn't have a wedding, we just went in front of a Justice of the Peace. Afterward, we had our family back to our apartment for lunch. We had a tray of (all vegan) baked ziti, a wonderful black bean/mango dip, salad, and a 3 tiered vegan weddding cake made by my mother in law.If you are just planning on a small wedding and can't find a caterer, maybe some veg friends would help with food. At a friend of mine's vegan handfasting, the couple was making dinner before their ceremony (their ceremony was at a warehouse I use to live at so all of us pitched in to help-the best caterers that don't need to get paid!) Congratulations and good luck in your planning!
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post #10 of 35
4/21/03 at 1:52pm
I agree with molly, the "warning" would send a negative message about the food. Also, maybe you could ask people to donate monetary gifts to a charity that aligns with your beliefs rather than buy gifts.
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post #11 of 35
4/21/03 at 7:17pm
My Fiancee PoesÃ*a and I are having a vegetarian wedding in Octoberm though I am vegan and she is primarily vegan we still decided to go the vegetarian route and have dairy dishes. We have had some interesting discussions about it a few months back.



http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/s...tarian+wedding



http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/s...tarian+wedding
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post #12 of 35
4/21/03 at 7:47pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks for your thoughts everyone, I agree about the Warning on the invites would be a negative message. I'm pretty sure that eveyone will be expecting a vegan menu anyway seeing as we are all Vegans.



Shewolf.. Yes we are Pagans ALso who are the resident poets?? Thats a great idea
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post #13 of 35
4/21/03 at 8:02pm
If you want certain kinds of gifts, you could just register for what you want. To even mention gifts on an invite is considered poor ettiquette to many, unless you are saying, "Please, no gifts".



If you have any attendents, they are the one's who should talk to guests about your gift preferences.



(Just a warning)



ETA- I guess this could be different in Australia, though.
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post #14 of 35
4/21/03 at 9:17pm
It's customary over here to do the register thing or offer an alternative (money etc) for those who don't want to buy a gift. Friends of mine got married a few years ago and had a lovely poem basically saying that they had everything they needed and would people consider helping them buy their house that much sooner... it was very tactful. I'm thinking something similar for the environment would be fine, no-one would get offended.



AussieVeganMum, nice to meet another! Especially around the same region as me! My fiance isn't officially pagan but his beliefs are very similar to mine... so yes, can I ask who your caterer is? There don't seem to be many with good veg options...
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post #15 of 35
4/21/03 at 9:20pm
Thread Starter 
Never had one, but that sounds completely awsome!! Good lucK!
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post #16 of 35
4/21/03 at 9:25pm
my so and i are also planning to have a vegan wedding sometime early next year (we still have ALOT of planning to do). we were considering adding the line "vegan buffet to follow reception" to the invites, but haven't decided yet.



my mom actually threw a fit when i told her about my desire to have a vegan wedding - saying that it would be unacceptable and that she would not help to pay for it (i was not even considering asking for help paying). funny, but i always thought guests came to share in the union of two people, not the entree of meat. we haven't discussed it since then, and we have yet to tell my so's parents of our decision...something i am not looking forward to.



anyway, AussieVeganMum, you are soooo lucky to have such an accepting family! another responce my mom had to my desire for a vegan wedding was that i would be pushing my beliefs on everyone else, but that is exactally what she is doing to me! that's like saying i am pushing christianity on people by getting married in a church (which i am not, btw).



anyway, sorry to rant. just needed to get that out!
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post #17 of 35
4/22/03 at 6:53am
Thread Starter 
My family is a very straight, very catholic most of my great aunts are nuns and great uncles are preists but they are all great people and they love my differences, of which i have many... I don't feel that offering a Vegan menu is pushing my beliefs on anyone as they all know me, like if i went to an omni's wedding you'ld just assume there would be meat..



Thalia.. What are attendent's for and i've never heard of a gift register???



We are just having a very casual affair, no black ties just neat casual. We will most probably have it on our block that we're going to build on as it is the beautiful bush setting which we're after.



Then after the ceremony i just want a casual buffet/picnic/bbq type thingy...



Shewolf...Still tracking down a caterer, i've got my dad working on it, he is a huge foody and knows everyone in the Australian restarunt/food industry so i'm hoping he'll find someone
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post #18 of 35
4/22/03 at 7:07am
Sounds lovely Aussieveganmum!



Attendants, as in bridesmaids... and a gift register is where you go to a store and pick out stuff you want, then people can buy stuff you want rather than stuff you won't use... I used to be very against the idea of a gift register, it seemed presumptuous, but the more I think about it it makes logical sense... otherwise you end up with 6 toasters and lime green towel sets... or leather goods *shudder*...
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post #19 of 35
4/22/03 at 5:06pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
... otherwise you end up with 6 toasters and lime green towel sets...





lol..that would be funny...but as my partner is 40 and has already been married before and we've been living together for 4 years and have two kids..i don't think we really need anything in the tradtional sense of gifts to help set up house. I might take up the suggestion of everyone making a contribution to the RSPCA or something
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post #20 of 35
4/22/03 at 6:08pm
LOL Yeah, me and my fiance have been living together for 4 and a half years... there are some things that we do need still (they're on the can't afford it just yet list) so we'll see... I'm tempted to ask for donations myself since I'm trying to set up a rescue facility when we get our own place...
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post #21 of 35
4/23/03 at 4:47pm
Actually, if you don't even say anything about the food, most people probably won't even notice. Most of the weddings I've been to have the usual tray of fruits and veggies and bread. The dip can be "vegan-ified" and if it tastes "funny" to any omnis, they'll probably go "oh, this must be gourmet, it doesn't taste the same." Same with the cake.... :-)
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post #22 of 35
4/23/03 at 4:55pm
The dip can be "vegan-ified" and if it tastes "funny" to any omnis, they'll probably go "oh, this must be gourmet, it doesn't taste the same." Same with the cake.... :-)







That is so true and funny!
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post #23 of 35
4/23/03 at 6:39pm
Quote:
Originally posted by AussieVeganMum

Thalia.. What are attendent's for and i've never heard of a gift register???


Sorry, I guess I was making assumptions that everyone knew what I meant. I think it is neat how we have people from all over here. I have learned a lot of new words!
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post #24 of 35
4/23/03 at 6:48pm
Well, I'm not married so I've never *had* a vegan wedding, but I've been to one. The couple's friends, of course, were well aware of what the food choices would be as they were vegans themselves, but they made no announcement on the invite. They (quite logically) figured that if the people they had invited knew them at *all* they would know better than to expect meat. Any guests who were invited because the parents invited them (e.g. the bride's mother's best friend's sister and such) didn't seem to even notice -- or if they did, they kept their mouths shut.



As far as gifts, gift registry, I would agree, is the best way to go if it's available in your area. Or, if you feel you have everything you need, then simply request that no one bring gifts. A friend of mine wrote on her invites "The gift of your presence is all we desire" or something to that effect.



Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I hope that it goes smoothly for you!



Mskedi
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post #25 of 35
4/23/03 at 11:15pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Mskedi

"The gift of your presence is all we desire" or something to that effect.



Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I hope that it goes smoothly for you!








I like that saying: The gift of your presence is all we desire. I'm getting some great ideas from this post





And thanks for your best wishes Mskedi.
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post #26 of 35
4/24/03 at 6:45am
Thread Starter 
hello! i'm getting married later in the year too... unfortunately my other half is a carnivore.... though i love him so!... so ican't have a vegan wedding...



but there will be a special vegan dish for me and a few friends of mine... the local people are actually more felxible for that sort of thing than i expected, even in the country...



other half is obsessed with cheesecake, but i want the wedding cake to be vegan...



we've just discussed it after reading this and have decided to have a two-tiered cake... one layer of my vegan choccie bliss and his layer of dairy curd, urgh!



ah, the art of compromise in love!
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post #27 of 35
4/27/03 at 8:56am
kat new - my advice, go for a vegan cheese cake - they are amazing !!!!!
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post #28 of 35
4/27/03 at 10:36am
Here is a suggestion I plan to use, and friends of mine used: (It actually was QUITE fancy in the end, and an unbeatable feast they could never have afforded otherwise!)



On your invites, write: In lieu of gifts, please bring a dish to share with our other guests.



That way they can bring what they wish, and there will be something there for everyone, and you haven't paid any money for chicken... *bleh*



When my friends did this they ended up with gourmet foods from all over. PLus they were able to invite absolutely everyone, with no hard feelings, instead of cutting costs,( i.e. people) from the roster.



I also plan to ask them to bring a family recipe along, preferably veggie ones.





I too am pagan and the plan is to just elope alone on a beach somewhere in a non-religous ceremony, just the two of us, then come back and have a big party with everyone.



Blessed Be!
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post #29 of 35
5/2/03 at 7:54am
friends of mine did. They had their marriage recpetion and ceremony at the melbourne zoo and while they insisted that do the meals (all vegan) they had three awesome wedding cakes made by vegetarian orgasm chef.



hope that helps and congratualtions
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post #30 of 35
5/2/03 at 7:48pm
Quote:
Originally posted by blueserendipity

vegetarian orgasm chef.



I bet that breaks some health code!!!
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