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Since those words are thrown around these parts, let's get some definations going on around here. To make it more interesting, include your method/opinion of what "good parenting" is. Perhaps we'll see a trend?
Well-behaved vs not children (aka brats) - your definition
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#2
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Posted 06 August 2004 - 09:42 PM
Good parenting is correcting your kid's misbehavior in a public place before an employee or another customer has to do it. I absolutely hate, hate, hate screaming, bratty kids in stores and restaurants.
#4 Guest_shagginabit
Posted 06 August 2004 - 09:58 PM
Kids running around in the store down each aisle - brats
Kids screaming at the store or at the restaruant because they didn't get what they wanted - brats.
Parents who let their kids scream at the top of thier lungs in public without doing anything - candidates for an ass kickin
Parents who buy their kids anything they want "just to shut them up" - needs a slap upside the head with a rolled newspaper.
Parents who teach thier kids to not only respect them, but to respect OTHER adults (teachers, babysitters, etc) - Great Parenting.
Kids who know how to act in public, and know when to play (outside) - babysitting material.
Speaking of which, I went to cash my paycheck yesterday. There was a lady in front of me with three brats. They were running around the store, hitting each other, knocking over chairs. There was a custodian trying to mop, and instead of the mom telling the kids to calm that **** down so the poor guy could mop, she looked and said nothing. Poor guy had to keep mopping because everytime he got a part of the floor wet, the kids slid on the floor getting it dirty again. She needed her *** kicked.
Good parenting (IMO) means setting boundaries, and sticking by it. It means using discipline and bieng consistant. Teaching your children to respect adults, (teachers, babysitters, etc.) and to respect themselves. Not giving in to every little thing your child wants. Teaching them that tantrums are NOT acceptable, and if that means taking them home if they act up at chucky cheese (or wherever) then that's whats gonna happen. Instilling morals and values. Not throwing in the towel if the child is slow at learning these things. Letting the child know he/she is loved.
I'm not a parent yet, but so far, that's what I think. Im sure the parents here will come up with thier ideas.
Kids screaming at the store or at the restaruant because they didn't get what they wanted - brats.
Parents who let their kids scream at the top of thier lungs in public without doing anything - candidates for an ass kickin
Parents who buy their kids anything they want "just to shut them up" - needs a slap upside the head with a rolled newspaper.
Parents who teach thier kids to not only respect them, but to respect OTHER adults (teachers, babysitters, etc) - Great Parenting.
Kids who know how to act in public, and know when to play (outside) - babysitting material.
Speaking of which, I went to cash my paycheck yesterday. There was a lady in front of me with three brats. They were running around the store, hitting each other, knocking over chairs. There was a custodian trying to mop, and instead of the mom telling the kids to calm that **** down so the poor guy could mop, she looked and said nothing. Poor guy had to keep mopping because everytime he got a part of the floor wet, the kids slid on the floor getting it dirty again. She needed her *** kicked.
Good parenting (IMO) means setting boundaries, and sticking by it. It means using discipline and bieng consistant. Teaching your children to respect adults, (teachers, babysitters, etc.) and to respect themselves. Not giving in to every little thing your child wants. Teaching them that tantrums are NOT acceptable, and if that means taking them home if they act up at chucky cheese (or wherever) then that's whats gonna happen. Instilling morals and values. Not throwing in the towel if the child is slow at learning these things. Letting the child know he/she is loved.
I'm not a parent yet, but so far, that's what I think. Im sure the parents here will come up with thier ideas.
#5
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Posted 06 August 2004 - 10:16 PM
<
I don't differentiate actually between well behaved kids and 'brats'. One of my favorite kids last year came in as a very high maintenance BRAT...the first day at school she said to me point blank like she was a grown-up with a pistol in her pants, "Don't you mess with me!" By the end of the year she was coming up and hugging me without warning or reservation. But it turned out that the teacher and assistent who were in the class before us just always sent her to the office when she was a problem...which was often. We kept her in class and delt with her until she was ready to deal with herself.
That's the choice I always give Madison. You handle it or I'm going to. You won't like how I handle it, so I suggest you figure it out. And most of the time, in spite of some tears and stalling, she generally does. Now I'm the least hard-a*&ed Mom in town, but having Madison taught me that if I didn't take this tact with her she would walk all over my gentleness in no time flat.
I do think the first and most important thing children need to learn is respect for self. And that everything pretty much flows from there. They teach that in Montessori, and it is one of the Montessori doctrines I follow wholeheartedly.
B
B
I don't differentiate actually between well behaved kids and 'brats'. One of my favorite kids last year came in as a very high maintenance BRAT...the first day at school she said to me point blank like she was a grown-up with a pistol in her pants, "Don't you mess with me!" By the end of the year she was coming up and hugging me without warning or reservation. But it turned out that the teacher and assistent who were in the class before us just always sent her to the office when she was a problem...which was often. We kept her in class and delt with her until she was ready to deal with herself.
That's the choice I always give Madison. You handle it or I'm going to. You won't like how I handle it, so I suggest you figure it out. And most of the time, in spite of some tears and stalling, she generally does. Now I'm the least hard-a*&ed Mom in town, but having Madison taught me that if I didn't take this tact with her she would walk all over my gentleness in no time flat.
I do think the first and most important thing children need to learn is respect for self. And that everything pretty much flows from there. They teach that in Montessori, and it is one of the Montessori doctrines I follow wholeheartedly.
B
B
Gather out of stardust,earth-dust,cloud-dust,storm-dust, and splinters of hail,
One handful of dream-dust not for sale.~~Langston Hughes
www.veteransforpeace.org
One handful of dream-dust not for sale.~~Langston Hughes
www.veteransforpeace.org
#6
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Posted 06 August 2004 - 10:18 PM
My kids are relatively well-behaved. That being said, my oldest will pitch fits in the store sometimes. He has asperger's and since it is not an option to just leave him alone all the time, I have to take him with. Brats= kids jumping around in restaurants (not play areas, although I think they contribute to the problem), wailing and screaming for things in the store, running through the store like banshees. A little whining doesnt really bother me, neither does a little "movement". Kids are going to move for christ sakes. My two younger kids are pretty well behaved. Even my oldest has made very good strides.
What do I do? I never give in.... I am stubborn... very stubborn. If my oldest pitches a fit in the store we leave immediately, even if I have to leave everything there. Giving in is a bad bad trend to start.
I do not buy candy or use it as a treat EVER. Nor do I use food in general as a treat. My kids have a base allowance, that is probably low. They have to do ALL of their chores and behave or they lose it. They can earn extra cash for doing extra chores. They pay me some of their allowance if I have to pick up after them. Treat me like a maid, pay me like a maid. They can choose to buy almost anything they want at our next shopping trip, except that a manditory 1.50 that goes into their savings jars and then eventually to the bank.
My kids get little tv. 1/2 hour a day and only if they have been well behaved. We also have manditory reading time. They can read anything, but they must read something. They get exceptions on the weekend, when I allow extra tv time for a race(my son is a nascar addict), but again only if he has earned the priviledge.
Now, if they do misbehave, they lose priviledges, toys, etc. and they do not get them back until their "sentence" is over and behavior and attitude have changed. Yeah this can suck, cuz they will drive you nuts ( my oldest is really the only one that loses things now and again), but dammit... like I said, I am very stubborn. This rarely happens much anymore. I don't count to 3 as much anymore. I really don't have to, they pretty much listen when I say or give them the "look". If we are going someplace, I explain ahead of time what sort of behavior I expect and if I don't get it, we go straight home.
now about the play place thing. I hate them... they are the devil... running screaming kids at meal time... lovely... what about eating...Since we rarely eat at fast food restaraunts, we rarely encounter them, but ugh I hate them... They say to kids... eat and play at the same time... Nope we eat when it is time to eat... no tv, no nothing... sit down and eat. Kids can get easily confused, especially really young children. One place we jump around and play when we eat, here we have to just sit and eat???
What do I do? I never give in.... I am stubborn... very stubborn. If my oldest pitches a fit in the store we leave immediately, even if I have to leave everything there. Giving in is a bad bad trend to start.
I do not buy candy or use it as a treat EVER. Nor do I use food in general as a treat. My kids have a base allowance, that is probably low. They have to do ALL of their chores and behave or they lose it. They can earn extra cash for doing extra chores. They pay me some of their allowance if I have to pick up after them. Treat me like a maid, pay me like a maid. They can choose to buy almost anything they want at our next shopping trip, except that a manditory 1.50 that goes into their savings jars and then eventually to the bank.
My kids get little tv. 1/2 hour a day and only if they have been well behaved. We also have manditory reading time. They can read anything, but they must read something. They get exceptions on the weekend, when I allow extra tv time for a race(my son is a nascar addict), but again only if he has earned the priviledge.
Now, if they do misbehave, they lose priviledges, toys, etc. and they do not get them back until their "sentence" is over and behavior and attitude have changed. Yeah this can suck, cuz they will drive you nuts ( my oldest is really the only one that loses things now and again), but dammit... like I said, I am very stubborn. This rarely happens much anymore. I don't count to 3 as much anymore. I really don't have to, they pretty much listen when I say or give them the "look". If we are going someplace, I explain ahead of time what sort of behavior I expect and if I don't get it, we go straight home.
now about the play place thing. I hate them... they are the devil... running screaming kids at meal time... lovely... what about eating...Since we rarely eat at fast food restaraunts, we rarely encounter them, but ugh I hate them... They say to kids... eat and play at the same time... Nope we eat when it is time to eat... no tv, no nothing... sit down and eat. Kids can get easily confused, especially really young children. One place we jump around and play when we eat, here we have to just sit and eat???
I'd like to dream my troubles all away
On a bed of California stars
[url]http://vegan-licious.blogspot.com/[/url]
On a bed of California stars
[url]http://vegan-licious.blogspot.com/[/url]
#7
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Posted 07 August 2004 - 01:49 AM
Quote
<
I don't differentiate actually between well behaved kids and 'brats'. One of my favorite kids last year came in as a very high maintenance BRAT...the first day at school she said to me point blank like she was a grown-up with a pistol in her pants, "Don't you mess with me!" By the end of the year she was coming up and hugging me without warning or reservation. But it turned out that the teacher and assistent who were in the class before us just always sent her to the office when she was a problem...which was often. We kept her in class and delt with her until she was ready to deal with herself.
That's the choice I always give Madison. You handle it or I'm going to. You won't like how I handle it, so I suggest you figure it out. And most of the time, in spite of some tears and stalling, she generally does. Now I'm the least hard-a*&ed Mom in town, but having Madison taught me that if I didn't take this tact with her she would walk all over my gentleness in no time flat.
I do think the first and most important thing children need to learn is respect for self. And that everything pretty much flows from there. They teach that in Montessori, and it is one of the Montessori doctrines I follow wholeheartedly.
B
B
I don't differentiate actually between well behaved kids and 'brats'. One of my favorite kids last year came in as a very high maintenance BRAT...the first day at school she said to me point blank like she was a grown-up with a pistol in her pants, "Don't you mess with me!" By the end of the year she was coming up and hugging me without warning or reservation. But it turned out that the teacher and assistent who were in the class before us just always sent her to the office when she was a problem...which was often. We kept her in class and delt with her until she was ready to deal with herself.
That's the choice I always give Madison. You handle it or I'm going to. You won't like how I handle it, so I suggest you figure it out. And most of the time, in spite of some tears and stalling, she generally does. Now I'm the least hard-a*&ed Mom in town, but having Madison taught me that if I didn't take this tact with her she would walk all over my gentleness in no time flat.
I do think the first and most important thing children need to learn is respect for self. And that everything pretty much flows from there. They teach that in Montessori, and it is one of the Montessori doctrines I follow wholeheartedly.
B
B
:up:
Lets face it, it's tough having kids.
It takes effort to go that extra distance.
I totally agree Bethanie. If a child doesn't have self esteem and respect for themselves, how can they ever possibly hold the same for others?
All kids are going to have temper tantrums, etc, and it will usually happen in the worst of spots. Kids aren't stupid and they learn very fast how to manipulate you if they can. You have to be resolved with how you handle it.
There's a line from a movie and I can't remember which but the child is asked by someone older to "Stop acting like a kid!" The kid responds, "But I am a kid."
I look at my kids who have it pretty darn good. They just have to realise it that's all and they are certainly learning.
My three favourite lines lately...
1) "That's not a problem! If you want to have to deal with a problem then give me your right arm, I'll cut it off so then you'll have a problem." (Just putting things into perspective)
2) "Hey, is your cup sitting at half full or half empty right now? (We've had lots of little talks about this lately of how our happiness is up to us and not someone else or something else)
3) "It's not fair? Life's not always fair. Get use to it!"
I just work on teaching my kids that there's a time and a place for everything. You have to respect yourself and others and that's a lot to learn. Most adults haven't learnt it yet!
I'll tell you this. There's no nicer feeling as a parent than to have someone tell you what wonderful and well mannered children you have. :yes:
Geez look at the time. I've got to get back to bed! Damn coyotes! I'm wide awake now because of them.:grr:
Jeffer
I'm a proud Dad of two with a wife who's "a single mother with three children"
"... and I have loved one woman with more passion, than a flea like yourself could possibly comprehend."
"... and I have loved one woman with more passion, than a flea like yourself could possibly comprehend."
#8
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Posted 07 August 2004 - 03:38 AM
I have seen a frightening trend. Maybe it's been going on a long itme- but I have only just picked up on it. Others have touched on the subject. Basically I work at a supermarket and I keep seeing small children in push chairs that have been given chocolate to shut them up. This is just such bad parenting in my mind!
1, firstly they haven't yet bought the chocolate yet- I think this is a poor example to set to children. They cant just walk in a store and eat anything.
2, Food isn't a subsitute for good parenting. It is just lazy.
3, Chocolate- hello- healthy? With waistlines increasing at least give them something healthy to eat.
4, disrespectful to the store. They often end up not paying.
5, You shouldn't just give into the child.
6, You don't walk into someones house and just help yourself. What social skills are you teaching the child?
On one occasion I politely reminded a woman that her child was eating the food- and I can swipe it for her. Before she walked off without paying (her husband was at the counter to pay) She just hurled insults at me and walked off. I just though- well that child is going to grow up just great. She did come back, and it was paid for- but there was no need to be rude, when I was trying to be helpful,
Kat
1, firstly they haven't yet bought the chocolate yet- I think this is a poor example to set to children. They cant just walk in a store and eat anything.
2, Food isn't a subsitute for good parenting. It is just lazy.
3, Chocolate- hello- healthy? With waistlines increasing at least give them something healthy to eat.
4, disrespectful to the store. They often end up not paying.
5, You shouldn't just give into the child.
6, You don't walk into someones house and just help yourself. What social skills are you teaching the child?
On one occasion I politely reminded a woman that her child was eating the food- and I can swipe it for her. Before she walked off without paying (her husband was at the counter to pay) She just hurled insults at me and walked off. I just though- well that child is going to grow up just great. She did come back, and it was paid for- but there was no need to be rude, when I was trying to be helpful,
Kat
#9
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Posted 07 August 2004 - 04:44 AM
SDG, I like your style. Good Job!
What is it about spineless leaders who have one set of rules for their cronies and another set for the general public? Lack of a source of testosterone perhaps? Well strap a set on and be a man, fearless leader, or get out of the way and let someone else do it.
#10
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Posted 07 August 2004 - 05:31 AM
Sticking to my guns when my kid was younger has made my life easier now. He doesn't give me much trouble at all. When he does, I ground him from his playstation and other electronics.
I hate seeing kids misbehave in public places. The parents should get a sitter if they can't control their kids. I don't see why everyone else should be subjected to them.
I hate seeing kids misbehave in public places. The parents should get a sitter if they can't control their kids. I don't see why everyone else should be subjected to them.
Check... it out.
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