Meat is tearing my family apart?!? Advice please? - VeggieBoards

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#1 Old 05-01-2016, 10:24 PM
Join Date: May 2016
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Unhappy Meat is tearing my family apart?!? Advice please?

So I went vegan about half a year ago (previously vegetarian for 8 years), no slip ups at all, ever since I became aware of the harm that meat and dairy consumption does to our bodies, the animals and the environment.
My mother has had breast cancer (it runs in our family) and has survived for 6 years even though her stage was deemed terminal.
Since veganism was such a miracle to my health and body and had so many positive effects with cancer prevention I wanted to share my lifestyle with her. We watched Cowspiracy, Forks over Knives, dr greger and freele's videos on cancer and her reasons not to eat "meat/ dairy/ eggs/ cheese" videos. She even started reading the 80/10/10 book.
My mother wanted to become vegan and tried. She started very well for the first few months. Yet once a week, she would eat cheese even though there were vegan cheese options because she "needed the flavor". I told her about casein and how dairy was addictive, about the millions of pus cells in dairy, about the 15% increase in cancer risk that just an increase of 3% of animal protein in one day caused.
She didn't care.
Yesterday I went to an Italian restaurant with her and some friends who I hadn't seen in years. I had a cheese-less pizza and thought she'd do the same.
She ate an entire large cheese pizza. Worse yet, she ordered a HUGE MEAT PLATTER because she figured my friends who were sitting on the table with us were hungry for an entree and focaccia with truffles wasn't generous enough. When the plate arrived, They weren't even hungry for it and SHE ENCOURAGED THEM TO EAT SOME OVER AND OVER. SHE ATE SOME TOO OUT OF "POLITENESS".
When I asked her why she willingly chose to eat cancer and even worse, willingly dared to order a dead corpse fest (with a less aggressive talk but these words still in mind), she said it was her choice, that I wasn't her mother, that the more I told her what to do the less she wanted to be vegan (funnily enough, I only asked a question, I genuinely wanted to understand).
What do I do? My mother is hooked on cigarettes, coffee, alcohol and "animal drugs". Even after watching all of the documentaries,during which she closed her eyes at every slaughterhouse scene. I love my mother, but I don't want her illness to return and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to share an affectionate relationship with someone who is aware of the cruelty yet chooses cruelty. Should I be patient? Should I give up? What do I do? I'm desperate and it's heartbreaking

Last edited by givememangoes; 05-01-2016 at 10:32 PM.
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#2 Old 05-01-2016, 10:35 PM
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you can't demand that someone be on the same page as you.

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#3 Old 05-01-2016, 10:46 PM
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Everyone transitions at their own pace, and if she's choosing to do these things, it's part of the process. You can't control her, only help her when she's ready to try and change again.
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#4 Old 05-02-2016, 12:08 AM
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The highest top of a moutain can only be reached with small steps.

My usual answer: I have never heard a convincing reason to eat meat.
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#5 Old 05-02-2016, 12:17 AM
Not such a Beginner ;)
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What do you do? Hug your mother and apologize. Feed her healthy foods to help counteract the other stuff, and be grateful that you still have her in your life.

She's been fighting cancer, she doesn't need to fight her daughter, too. I completely understand that your wish for her veganism is out of love for her, but it doesn't work to force people to be vegan. It just doesn't.
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#6 Old 05-02-2016, 12:38 AM
Join Date: May 2016
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Thank you so much for your replies, you're very right. Patience and acceptance are the way to go and forcing someone to change is never successful. It's true that the harder you try the harder it gets.
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#7 Old 05-02-2016, 12:39 AM
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You would think other vegans would be more understanding to why seeing their family and friends eat animal products is upsetting, but apparently not.

All we are is dust in the wind
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#8 Old 05-02-2016, 01:00 AM
Not such a Beginner ;)
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Originally Posted by Pirate Huntress View Post
You would think other vegans would be more understanding to why seeing their family and friends eat animal products is upsetting, but apparently not.
I understand that seeing family, especially someone ill, eat meat is extremely upsetting. I also have never heard of or seen anyone successfully forced into veganism, so it seems to me to be a waste of effort and harmful to the relationship to try.
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#9 Old 05-02-2016, 09:13 AM
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Wow, it makes me very happy to hear such caring responses. No matter how much you tell someone to do something or someone tells you, it truly is up to the individual. I hope your mom is doing well.
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addiction , cancer , family , health-vegan , Vegan

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