'Top 10 vegan jokes' published in major newspaper - VeggieBoards - A Vegetarian Community
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#1 Old 03-10-2010, 04:10 AM
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Q: How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?



A: Two, one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.





Q: Why does vegan cheese taste bad?



A: It hasn't been tested on mice.





Q. What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?



A. We have to stop meating like this






etc. More here:



http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...gan-jokes.html
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#2 Old 03-10-2010, 04:17 AM
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Love it!! It's printed and coming to work with me today!

Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid...~Albert Einstein~
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#3 Old 03-10-2010, 04:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrFalafel View Post

[i]Q: How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?



A: Two, one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.



hehe. I love light bulb jokes.
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#4 Old 03-10-2010, 04:44 AM
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Those are good!

The Big Bad.
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#5 Old 03-10-2010, 05:15 AM
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Did you see what that guy posted in the comments?



"Fortunately, most of them don't have the energy to comment."



Why is this STILL a popular belief against vegans?! I have yet to see anything to back this up!



(I love the salad shooter joke though.. )

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#6 Old 03-10-2010, 05:52 AM
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Q: What do vegan zombies eat?



A: Graiinnnzzzz




My favorite.
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#7 Old 03-10-2010, 06:14 AM
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I laughed till I realised it was from The Sun, now I feel unclean...
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#8 Old 03-10-2010, 08:47 AM
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My top 10 vegan jokes:



1.

Q: What's tall, orange and vegan?

A: A st



2.

A vegan walks into a bar, goes to the bartender and says, "give me g



3.

Q: Why did the vegan cross the road?

A: Wakawakawaka



4.

A vegan, a vegetarian and a meat-eater were sitting on a plane. Ice balloons?



5.

Q: What's the vegan version of Batman?

A: وقال الدلاي لاما "لنتذكر شعب تركستان الشرقية الذي قاسى صعوبات كبيرة وقمعا متزا

"and I stand

upon a mountain

made of weak and useless men"

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#9 Old 03-10-2010, 09:01 AM
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Two can play at this game...





Q: How many flesh-eaters does it take to change a light bulb?



A: None; they would rather stay in the dark about things.

http://dietarypacifism.com/

recipes and thoughts on veganism and religion
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#10 Old 03-10-2010, 09:13 AM
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Hysterical - as per with The Sun.

m8itcanw8.com
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#11 Old 03-10-2010, 09:14 AM
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Omni: So you're vegan, do you eat animal crackers?

veg: Do you eat girl scout cookies?
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#12 Old 03-10-2010, 09:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mgoat View Post

Two can play at this game...





Q: How many flesh-eaters does it take to change a light bulb?



A: None; they would rather stay in the dark about things.



I LOVE this!!!!



Quote:
Originally Posted by haminal View Post

Omni: So you're vegan, do you eat animal crackers?

veg: Do you eat girl scout cookies?



I forgot about this one. Definitely a keeper!
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#13 Old 03-10-2010, 09:26 AM
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Hey, I've got a list of jokes about <insert minority here>, do you think the paper will print those as well? I got them off a <insert minority here> web-site, so surely it must be okay?

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#14 Old 03-10-2010, 09:30 AM
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Hey, I've got a list of jokes about <insert minority here>, do you think the paper will print those as well? I got them off a <insert minority here> web-site, so surely it must be okay?



That's why these jokes were printed:



Commons leader Harriet Harman wants to ensure they're "treated fairly".





That will mean an end to wisecracks and gags about vegans....but not quite yet.





Here we pick our top 10 lentil-lover wind-ups before the fun police put a stop to it.







Are you a member of the fun police IS?
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#15 Old 03-10-2010, 09:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrFalafel View Post

That's why these jokes were printed:



Commons leader Harriet Harman wants to ensure they're "treated fairly".





That will mean an end to wisecracks and gags about vegans....but not quite yet.





Here we pick our top 10 lentil-lover wind-ups before the fun police put a stop to it.




Yes, I got this part.

Quote:
Are you a member of the fun police IS?

Yes I am. Just try to imagine how this would look like if you exchange "vegan" with "black people", "jews", "ay-rabs", "disabled people" etc. It suddenly isn't very funny, just like vegan jokes aren't funny when they're printed by a major newspaper. Just saying.

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#16 Old 03-10-2010, 09:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Indian Summer View Post

Yes, I got this part.



Yes I am. Just try to imagine how this would look like if you exchange "vegan" with "black people", "jews", "ay-rabs", "disabled people" etc. It suddenly isn't very funny, just like vegan jokes aren't funny when they're printed by a major newspaper. Just saying.



I agree with you 100%.



I think its great that the veggies in this thread are having fun with the jokes but I think its one thing for a vegan to tell a vegan joke and another for an omni to tell a vegan joke...
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#17 Old 03-10-2010, 12:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mgoat View Post

Two can play at this game...





Q: How many flesh-eaters does it take to change a light bulb?



A: None; they would rather stay in the dark about things.

That's awesome! lol



The diarrhea joke did make me laugh out loud, but that's probably just my inner 12yr old boy laughing at that one lol.

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#18 Old 03-10-2010, 01:05 PM
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LOL- Thanks for sharing!
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#19 Old 03-10-2010, 02:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrFalafel View Post

I think its one thing for a vegan to tell a vegan joke and another for an omni to tell a vegan joke...



I agree with that. I'm blonde and if I hear a really good blonde joke, I'll tell it. I've also had minority X friends tell jokes about minority X just in the spirit of having a laugh. And all sorts of comedians have made their careers by poking fun at themselves.
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#20 Old 03-10-2010, 03:34 PM
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I personally think some of these are hilarious. She was protesting for the chicken, man! XD

But I agree, omnis telling these jokes would just be offensive. If one of my friends told me a joke like some of these, I'd be offended, but as a vegan I would tell these.

Enjoying the view over at http://forum.veggieviews.com/

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#21 Old 03-10-2010, 04:42 PM
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For some reason the debate about the appropriate of vegan jokes told by vegans or non-vegans made me think of the Onion's "That's Not Funny; My Brother Died That Way" article. Linky.
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#22 Old 03-10-2010, 05:44 PM
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^Heh.



It reminded me of Isaac Hayes leaving South Park.
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