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Ethical to take away a childrens choice to be a vegetarian?

8K views 71 replies 50 participants last post by  rrroz 
#1 ·
What are some of your thoughts on raising children concerning vegetarianism? Do you believe that children should make their own decision in regards to vegetarianism or that parents should raise them that eating meat is wrong for such and such reasons.

(im not a parent yet, quite far from it, just curious for answers from fellow vegetarians) THANKS!
 
#2 ·
Parents teach their children right from wrong on a variety of issues and I see no reason why parents wouldn't teach their children the ethical issues of a particular diet in an age appropriate manner. It gets tricky when the parents have different diets, though, because both parents have equal say in what a child should/shouldn't eat.

I can't understand when parents are veg*n and allow their children to choose whether to eat meat or not. If parents lived where dog-fighting was a part of the culture and was legal but felt that dog-fighting was immoral, I can't imagine they'd let their children decide to go or not. If the parents aren't teaching morality to children then who is?
 
#4 ·
Well I'm vegan and dh is omni, so when I cook, our son eats vegetarian/vegan, but he enjoys meat, asks for it when out, so I feel that he is choosing to eat it. I explain to him in an age appropriate way (he's only 3.5), and he prefers veggie stuff over meat....however its a hot button issue in our house sometimes, but dh has come a long way.
 
#5 ·
My kids are veg*n now, bit I didn't force them. Of coarse I wanted them to go veggie, but, more importantly, I want them to be veg*n when they leave the home. That's not going to happen unless they chose to. I gave them the choice and educated them on the choices they made.
 
#6 ·
On the flip side, is it ethical to take away childrens' choice to have a healthy start to life (absent of meat and dairy) and to live a cruelty-free life from the time they are born?

I really wish that my parents hadn't taught me to repress the feelings of injustice I felt as a child when we sat down to eat a dead animal. I was told not to think about it and to 'toughen up' because 'that's life'. I thought there was something wrong with me because I got so upset at the idea of eating animals and was shamed and laughed at for my 'silly sympathetic' viewpoint.

The repression obviously worked wonders - it took me until I was 31 to wake up and undo my conditioning and stop eating animals.

As a result, I am gently teaching my children the truth about where meat comes from (age-appropriately of course) and then it really will be their decision.
 
#7 ·
I am split on this as hubby is omni and i've only just returned to being veggie (eating vegan but not totally vegan in life).

My DD chose to join me in veg*n but has returned to 'occasionally' eating meat. My youngest is so picky at eating whatever she eats is something.

I know you'll be groaning but it's the beginning of a long journey for us. I wish i'd done it a long time ago but we're here now.

Hubby wouldn't want to be forced not to eat meat and therefore wouldn't allow me to make the kids veggie.

DD has the choice of both my main meal and hubbies, she is choosing veg*n at school too so that's good news.
She has clearly discussed it with her friends as knows who's veg*n now.

The 'main' ingredients are changing in the house, now have vegan margerine and soya milk etc, also veg*n cheese though we are restricted on this as haven't found mozerella and hubby likes this on our pizza night... admittedly he laughed at me over the cheese.. we've agreed to differ on that one as he thinks i'm 'daft'.


it's hard, and i do think that had i been veg*n all along maybe i'd have ended up with a veg*n hubby, but in honesty i never gave it a thought even when i was a veg*n. I do believe what we eat is a personal choice just as religion is.
 
#8 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Porffor View Post

My DD chose to join me in veg*n but has returned to 'occasionally' eating meat. My youngest is so picky at eating whatever she eats is something.

I know you'll be groaning but it's the beginning of a long journey for us. I wish i'd done it a long time ago but we're here now.
I get what you're saying here. Seeing DH & I only changed our diet just over a year ago ourselves, our children (ages 5 and 3) are still transitioning. They don't eat meat in our home but when they are out I do allow them to choose for themselves. They don't actually enjoy eating meat much though, we're talking about some nuggets at a birthday party occasionally.

So I do understand that, as parents, we might not have all the answers worked out perfectly but my point in my previous post was that I am at least teaching my children the truth about where meat comes from and not teaching them to be blind to the issue. What they choose to do after that is up to them. That's the difference between their childhood and mine - I think they will actually be better equipped to make that decision for themselves with all the facts and at a younger age than I was.
 
#9 ·
I think you should raise them how you want in your house but at the end of the day let them be free to make a choice.Some people would say children cannot make choices but just like many things in life that we do we need to give the child some kind of freedom. The child should not be raised in a mental prison but yes I am all for explaining to them why I do not eat animals but if i had children i would not make them feel they only have to eat this kind of food.

I discussed this already with my partner and thats what we came up with and i am a strict vegetarian and he is vegetarian. It is something u need to work out on your own and we can only guide them in this direction of vegetarianism but we should not judge them if they want to eat meat.
 
#10 ·
Agreed that its a different and likely more difficult issue if only one or even both parents go veg*n when they already have children, it also depends on the childrens age of course.

But for people who are veg*n (for ethical reasons) before they have children, the question whether to feed their children meat really should not arise IMHO.

And for vegans under the same circumstances, i. e. if the kids are raised vegan from birth, teaching them to be vegan at home, but that it were okay to have whatever animal products they wish to consume outside of the home, would seem similar as teaching them its wrong to steal from mummys purse, but fine to rob a person downtown if they feel like it.

The majority of people dont really question omnivores forcing their diets/beliefs" on their children but simply accept it as a given, incl. many veg*ns. But when it comes to veg*ns raising their kids veg*n, suddenly it is supposed to be a completely different issue to bring up ones children according to ones values...
 
#11 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quinoa View Post

Agreed that its a different and likely more difficult issue if only one or even both parents go veg*n when they already have children, it also depends on the childrens age of course.

But for people who are veg*n (for ethical reasons) before they have children, the question whether to feed their children meat really should not arise IMHO.

And for vegans under the same circumstances, i. e. if the kids are raised vegan from birth, teaching them to be vegan at home, but that it were okay to have whatever animal products they wish to consume outside of the home, would seem similar as teaching them its wrong to steal from mummys purse, but fine to rob a person downtown if they feel like it.

The majority of people dont really question omnivores forcing their diets/beliefs" on their children but simply accept it as a given, incl. many veg*ns. But when it comes to veg*ns raising their kids veg*n, suddenly it is supposed to be a completely different issue to bring up ones children according to ones values...
I agree with you..but who are we to say if something is wrong and when we look at eating meat all over the world that "wrong" becomes relative all of a sudden. Yes veganism and kids are questioned due to the people and even vegans sometimes not having a balanced diet. It may be easier (not better) to get away if u are feeding the omi child a meal of mashed potatoes meat and vegetables but when you look at a child their diet has to be different from the adult. I may get away with just eating lentils and rice for a while but not a child and this is why these questions arise from it because you need to plan these meals properly for the growing child. This brings the question of giving soy milk to kids and all sorts of issues that parents are not comfortable with because many of these things are "new" and people get kinda scared esp since soy milk has such a bad wrap. This also brings a point I never resolved and this is putting ethics into eating as it is something so essential. We as humans think we are very advanced.

I still personally would explain to the children why we eat veg*n and give them but I would not close the door.

I remember when I was a child i could not stand to eat flesh I always threw it for the dogs and no one thought of placing me on a vegetarian diet instead they just kept giving me meat and I did not have that window for an alterntive until I got older.

I think there still should be freedom of choice on this matter

maybe I would change my mind if I ever have kids
 
#12 ·
Eating meat is a choice as much as eating vegetarian is a choice. Just because it's a choice that the majority makes doesn't make it any less of one. Parents are responsible to make all the choices for their young children, from what they eat to what school they attend to what religion they will practice. I doubt that there are many veg*n parents who don't realistically know that their veg*n raised child may some day make the choice to eat meat. These children aren't locked in a cave somewhere. I think parents in general just hope that their children will learn to make good decisions and that they will give them the tools they need to do so.

Any children I have will be raised vegetarian. I eat a mostly vegan diet, my boyfriend is an omni who eats vegetarian at home. I certainly wouldn't start purchasing and preparing meat just because I had a child. That just doesn't make sense.
 
#13 ·
I would like to raise my *hypothetical* children vegetarian and teach them to eat a compassionate diet. The only hang up is my BF *hypothetical husband in this case* is an omni and we've discussed how the children may look at him if I teach them how I see things. He doesn't see things the same way I do and doesn't feel it would be right to teach our children that the way he lives his life is "wrong"...that's not how he sees it. I'm still not sure exactly how all this will work out but if anyone is in a marriage with an omni and you have children how have you dealt with this issue?
 
#14 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by bajanveggie83 View Post

who are we to say if something is wrong and when we look at eating meat all over the world that "wrong" becomes relative all of a sudden.
I dont make my ethical stance dependant on majority views anymore.

Quote:
but when you look at a child their diet has to be different from the adult. I may get away with just eating lentils and rice for a while but not a child and this is why these questions arise from it because you need to plan these meals properly for the growing child.
Except for infants/toddlers and portion sizes, I am not aware that a child needs a diet much different from the one of an adult. When I was a kid in Europe ~30 yrs ago, there were none of the special childrens' foods that are everywhere now. We just ate the same things as the adults in the family (and in our case, not much meat in general). Anyone if they wish to remain healthy should attempt to eat a balanced diet regardless of their age and omnivorism or degree of veg*nism. An omni diet is not automatically more balanced than a veg*n diet just because it includes meat. And eating "just lentils and rice" does not equate to a balanced veg*n diet anyway, regardless of ones age.

Quote:
This also brings a point I never resolved and this is putting ethics into eating as it is something so essential. We as humans think we are very advanced.
We have the capability to make moral decisions. I would rather say that we should bring ethics into eating much more than we generally do, because food is something so essential and a big part of what we consume, thus highly effects both the world around us and ourselves.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rabid_child View Post

I doubt that there are many veg*n parents who don't realistically know that their veg*n raised child may some day make the choice to eat meat. These children aren't locked in a cave somewhere. I think parents in general just hope that their children will learn to make good decisions and that they will give them the tools they need to do so.
Yes, I think most veg*n (potential) parents realise (and probably also remember from their own past) that children will not always do what they were taught. And sometimes, as in the case of omni-raised children going veg*n, its of course even better to not just adhere to everything which one was once taught.


Giving a vegan raised child tools to make good decisions to me obviously would not mean to tell her well, we are vegan at home, but dont worry about consuming animal products elsewhere if you feel like it - its perfectly fine with us, just go ahead.

But Im not saying Id deal with something that after all would not be unlikely to happen at some point (considering peer pressure, the prevalence of fast food, and the still very small minority vegans are) as the most unforgivable end of the world incident, should she ever try. In an atmosphere of trust, I think the child would be able to talk about it too, knowing it is considered wrong but also that she will not be condemned or anything. Its probably a tightrope walk, but I guess much of child-raising is, esp. when it comes to values. That said, Im unlikely to become a mother anyways, so no worries for my part forcing any of my beliefs on some little one or not leaving them any choice
 
#15 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by bajanveggie83 View Post

I may get away with just eating lentils and rice for a while but not a child ...
Funny, that is exactly what the bulk of my childhood diet consisted of (along with a healthy dose of vegetables), as does the bulk of most Indians diet (even if they do eat meat), regardless of their age. Lentils/beans, a grain and veggies seem to be perfectly good diet for a child.
 
#16 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quinoa View Post

Agreed that its a different and likely more difficult issue if only one or even both parents go veg*n when they already have children, it also depends on the childrens age of course.

But for people who are veg*n (for ethical reasons) before they have children, the question whether to feed their children meat really should not arise IMHO.

And for vegans under the same circumstances, i. e. if the kids are raised vegan from birth, teaching them to be vegan at home, but that it were okay to have whatever animal products they wish to consume outside of the home, would seem similar as teaching them its wrong to steal from mummys purse, but fine to rob a person downtown if they feel like it.

The majority of people dont really question omnivores forcing their diets/beliefs" on their children but simply accept it as a given, incl. many veg*ns. But when it comes to veg*ns raising their kids veg*n, suddenly it is supposed to be a completely different issue to bring up ones children according to ones values...


Quote:
Giving a vegan raised child tools to make good decisions to me obviously would not mean to tell her well, we are vegan at home, but dont worry about consuming animal products elsewhere if you feel like it - its perfectly fine with us, just go ahead.

But Im not saying Id deal with something that after all would not be unlikely to happen at some point (considering peer pressure, the prevalence of fast food, and the still very small minority vegans are) as the most unforgivable end of the world incident, should she ever try. In an atmosphere of trust, I think the child would be able to talk about it too, knowing it is considered wrong but also that she will not be condemned or anything. Its probably a tightrope walk, but I guess much of child-raising is, esp. when it comes to values.
 
#18 ·
Since I've only been veggie for 2 years (my kids are 12 and 16), I don't force my kids to be veggie. But, since I do all the cooking and shopping, we eat all vegetarian at home. At restaurants, they have the option to choose whatever they want.

I don't think it's wrong to raise kids vegetarian though. Everyone pushes their beliefs on their kids. It's called being a parent. You teach your kids what you think is right and then when they grow up, they make decisions for themselves.
 
#19 ·
I became vegetarian almost 3 years ago. Up until that point we all ate animals. when I decided to become veg I didn't make my kids become veg but I didn't prepare meat any more in the house. When we went out to eat it was their choice wether they wanted to eat animals. I did explain to them that animals are killed so that people can eat them and that you can be just as healthy if not healthier without eating them. My kids made it their own choice to become vegetarian and it was actually a very easy transition for them. I think if I had been a veg before I had them then it would have never been an issue. They would have always ate a vegetarian diet.
 
#20 ·
What about the idea that raising a child veg*n from birth will cause their body to stop producing enzymes that are needed to break down dairy and meat products? This would cause problems later in life should they choose to eat small amounts of these foods because it might make them sick.

This is not my personal belief, but I'm curious to know what others think.
 
#21 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by pandora9kry View Post

What about the idea that raising a child veg*n from birth will cause their body to stop producing enzymes that are needed to break down dairy and meat products? This would cause problems later in life should they choose to eat small amounts of these foods because it might make them sick.

This is not my personal belief, but I'm curious to know what others think.
Seeing as how so many people are lactose intolerant (especially within certain ethnic groups) anyway, it seems like avoiding dairy should be encouraged more and more in general.

This is from PCRM, a vegan health organization:

Quote:
Overall, about 75 percent of the world's population, including 25 percent of those in the U.S., lose their lactase enzymes after weaning.7 The recognition of this fact has resulted in an important change in terminology: Those who could not digest milk were once called "lactose intolerant" or "lactase deficient." They are now regarded as normal, while those adults who retain the enzymes allowing them to digest milk are called "lactase persistent."

There is no reason for people with lactose intolerance to push themselves to drink milk. Indeed, milk does not offer any nutrients that cannot be found in a healthier form in other foods. Surprisingly, milk-drinking does not even appear to prevent osteoporosis, its major selling point.
http://www.pcrm.org/health/veginfo/l...tolerance.html

Further up on that page it mentions the breakdown of lactose intolerance within various ethnic groups.
 
#22 ·
I do think it's unethical to take away their choice to be a vegetarian. I attempted to turn to a vegetarian diet when I was 14, and my parents wouldn't allow it. When I was 19, and they could no longer control my eating choices, I became a vegetarian. They gave me SO much crap for years, until they realized that I was sticking with it. They saw realized that I had genuine conviction about it. They blew me off as an immature teenager, just trying to follow the crowd, when I was 14.

They are very respectful of me now, in regards to vegetarianism. They totally respect that my kids are being raised the same way.

As far as the issue of how one raises their kids. I don't see it as NOT giving them a choice. I didn't have a choice how I was raised. It's just part of our lifestyle. We raise our kids with our faith, our morals, and our ethics. It's not a one size fits all. I'm sure there will come a time when they realize they disagree with something we've taught them. If they decide they have different convictions about meat eating, and they want to eat it, I'm not going to stop them. They DO have a choice, they just don't know it yet. Regardless, my son finds the thought of eating animals, to be repulsive. I don't know that his feelings on this issue will ever change. He's never had a bite of meat a day in his life. It's a foreign idea to him.
 
#23 ·
My son is 10 and was 10 when I went vegan, and my husband followed suit.

He is too old to have this forced on him, and he is also a picky eater. I just try to find kid friendly vegan meals, and have found some that he likes. He is almost only lacto-ovo at home, but he eats what he wants when we are out.

With that, I do try to inform him about our reasons for being veg and get him thinking about, and so on. I am optimistic that he might make the right choice on his own one day with the information we've given him.

If I vere vegan when he was born, then of course I'd raise him vegan and discourage him from eating animals outside the home and not with his parents. If I were buying, I probably would not buy him omni food ever, in that case.
 
#25 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by slicknickns View Post

Ever heard of free choice? or not having adults resent you because you tried to force a lifestyle on them?
Well, if you had quoted my whole post you'd have seen why I wrote that part you cut out:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Sun View Post

Parents teach their children right from wrong on a variety of issues and I see no reason why parents wouldn't teach their children the ethical issues of a particular diet in an age appropriate manner. It gets tricky when the parents have different diets, though, because both parents have equal say in what a child should/shouldn't eat.

I can't understand when parents are veg*n and allow their children to choose whether to eat meat or not. If parents lived where dog-fighting was a part of the culture and was legal but felt that dog-fighting was immoral, I can't imagine they'd let their children decide to go or not. If the parents aren't teaching morality to children then who is?
Of course as children get older (especially into the teen years) there isn't much you can do if they decide to do what you feel is unethical. But teaching children ethical values when they are younger is what parents are supposed to do. A 5 y/o child shouldn't be made to understand the absolute horror of the slaughter process and shouldn't be expected to understand why a pig may value his/her own life.

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Edit: I was going to address your point about not having children resent their parents because of what the parents "forced" their children to do (or not do). It made me think of the Easter thread and all the great alternatives that vegans could provide for their children so the children wouldn't feel resentful - I went to that page and realized that you and I (and many others) see this issue quite differently.

I really do think the many ideas in this Easter thread are awesome and is an example of how ethical vegans can raise children with certain values without having the children feel left out:

http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/s...t=92920&page=5
 
#26 ·
DH and I are both vegetarian and plan to raise our kids vegetarian. If when they're older they chose to eat meat, we'd accept it. They'll know our reasoning for going vegetarian and they'll be making an informed choice. Parents teach kids ethics, morals, traditions, and routines, that often go with them throughout their life. Just like everything else, some change over time and most stick with them. In the end, we'll be accepting of any choice. Although, I hope they don't think anything of being a vegetarian and keep that choice.
 
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