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Separate bedrooms

3K views 10 replies 10 participants last post by  TREEfool 
#1 ·
Hi y'all!

So I'm curious about your thoughts on this.
Lately there's been an influx in 'celebrities' who are married with separate bedrooms and even separate houses.
I didn't used to sleep separately to long-term partner but it happened by accident (a string of nights where he got home late and a huge house with heaps of space and before we knew it....almost a year has gone by) and most of the time I actually really like it but every now and then I wonder if it's actually a good idea or not.
I loved sharing that space with previous partners and I'm aware of the fact that with this one working more, time before bed and in bed and in the morning is a large chunk of the time we have. So perhaps I'm less happy with it suddenly because it's meaning I actually see him very little and am alone a lot (and we live in the trees out of the city. Which has always been great too!).

I think we'll stick with this and it's my own stuff that I'm feeling weird about it at the moment, but I'm curious as to your experiences! Many of my friends have had similar ones and it seems to be something people do do fairly often when they have the luxury of space!
 
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#2 ·
It's a mixed bag. Sometimes I sleep better if my wife is out of town - I'm not awakened by her sudden shifting in bed, or by occasional coughing. It can be lonely too, though. Right now, we sleep in the same bed 5 nights a week, and she spends 2 night a week at the temple.
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#4 ·
We've done a little of both over time (been married for 33 years!). We've decided that starting out together is best for us. We certainly don't always end up together, but starting out allows us to have a little time for pillow talk and that's nice. I'm usually the one to leave, and it's nearly always around 4:30 or 5 in the morning, when I get up to use the bathroom and come back to bed to find the dogs are snoring (sometimes it's DH, but usually it's one of the dogs). It's nice to have a guest room where I can fall back to sleep for another hour or so.
 
#5 ·
Oh my gosh! THANK you!
I was feeling so abnormal or so... much like I was thinking the most wonderful relationship ever was actually doomed.
We sporadically sleep together for whole stints of time and we camp together but midnight work Skypes and his crazy sleep-twitches do actually mean this is working well. It's also worked out on its own that I sleep with half the animals and he sleeps with the other half. Hilarious. Nobody is lonely.

I really value your input and am glad you found things that work for you! Each to their own!
 
#7 ·
We have had slept in separate rooms since my husband got his sleep apnea mask. The noise from the mask and its machine are worse than the snoring.

I like having my own space.
 
#8 ·
Back then, I cannot sleep if my husband is not around or at least beside me. But when the kids came, we are almost far from each other with our kids in the middle of the bed. Sometimes we don't go to bed at the same time because of our work but I cannot imagine myself sleeping in a different bedroom and not seeing him. Lols. :D
 
#9 ·
For the most part, my partner and I do sleep in the same bed. However, when he's going through a stage of snoring (which normally happens when he has a cold or is really stressed) he does sleep in the other room. I would not mind not sleeping together; I like having a whole bed to myself :p
 
#10 ·
I sleep with my partner every night, with my limbs spreading all over them at the beginning. I feel safer and I sleep better that way. But I totally understand why some people want separated bedrooms, especially if you have sleep disorders. As long as you both are happy I don't see a problem with it.
 
#11 ·
My wife and I always slept together until our son arrived. After he turned 6 months we started cosleeping with him but I would get home late from work and just sleep in our guest room. I found out I slept WAYYY better so we sleep in separate rooms pretty much every night.

When I don't work I usually help put my son to bed and we all fall asleep together. When he flops around on my face later in the night I move to the other room. Haha.
 
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