Need to vent (warning: long) - VeggieBoards

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#1 Old 06-12-2016, 08:36 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 13
Need to vent (warning: long)

There's something I just need to rant about, related to dating, but veganism plays a significant role and amplifies my current negative emotions (you'll see why).

Because it's long and I don't want to leave this up forever, I'll link it to a Google Document: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...l1YOIZrlo/edit

I realize that in the grand scheme of things, it's a minor occurrence and mentally I know it's not the end of the world, but emotionally I'm just feeling down and I have had no one to vent to for awhile because they wouldn't fully understand as veganism plays a big role. It's not really about veganism, but it is a major factor in the situation, and I'd prefer to hear from people who have adopted that worldview.

I hope you people don't bash me for "endless whining", even though that's kind of what I end up doing in the document. Again, I understand that in the grand scheme of things, and when put in perspective, it's a minor occurrence. But one thing about me is that I also think a lot, a situation from every angle, so naturally I end up writing a lot, and therefore appear to dramatize it.

As I say in the original document, by the end, I'm not really looking for advice specifically as to what to do with her. Because it's clear at this point and there's nothing really to be done. I mainly came here as an outlet, to reach out to vegan folks who would be receptive to reading it and offer some basic solace.

Although I realize that I may have messed up a lot, it was mostly inevitable and to be expected. I have no experience in this regard prior to this, I was already in a bad spot, and I was really trying - but due to these factors, my emotions kept getting the best of me.

Last edited by Silveresque; 06-12-2016 at 08:42 AM.
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#2 Old 06-12-2016, 09:17 AM
MCallen
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 19
Hello,

It was very long like you warned, but I skimmed though and got the jist of what you are saying (I read a lot as well). It seems like you are still young. Don't be afraid to be single, there are plenty of women (I know this is a cliche). Don't be hung up on her. Let it go. She is not interested and may never will be, it's not good for you to get hung up on a person.

I have been where you are and been through a lot. If she got you that wired already and you only had a couple of dates, the best is to leave it be and move on. I know it's hard, but it would be the best for the parties involved. You only been on 3 dates and she was stringing you along. Also, texting a lot and asking her to reconcile even when she doesn't want to is a turn off for women (some women love it, but in my opinion it is childish). If a person really liked you and wanted to start a relationship, they would make the effort. Not what she is doing.

I hope you will not take this as bashing, and it is kinda of some advice, but take it from a women who has been there and done that. I have been in your situation.

I have been through a couple of relationship, some bad friendships even and now I am set to get married this year. My major suggestion is before you start dating someone, be friends. My relationship started off with being friends for a year and then I asked him out and we started dating. We have been together for over 4 years now and being friends before hand made a huge difference (I also wasn't attracted to him until after I got to know him). Being vegan in a dating pool can be hard, but reach out to others on forums even YouTube. Friendships and relationships can start from most unexpected places and with unexpected people. It will happen organically when it is right. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Last edited by MCallen; 06-12-2016 at 09:19 AM.
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#3 Old 06-16-2016, 08:31 PM
Sceptic vegan
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 16
It's okay to feel like this, after all that was your first relationship, and even though it was short your hopes where high. You seem like you are a wonderful boyfriend to have, you're even ready to make some changes to adapt to your partner (though changing too much, at the point you're just not yourself or if the other person doesn't want to go to that extent for you is unhealthy, and might look desperate), and it seems like relationships are really important for you. You seem to be the invested and understanding kind of guy, and this is awesome! However, from what I've read, you still seem to have very low confidence and to attach too much importance to having a girlfriend... I think that lack of confidence might have negative effect when it comes to attracting girls, so maybe you should forget about looking for girls for now and work on building up your confidence, explore hobbies you like and get better at it, make more friends, and who knows, maybe you'll just stumble upon a very nice vegan girl by accident?
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dating , love , rejection , Vegan , veganism

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