Brother complaining about lack of restaurant options *vent* - VeggieBoards
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 Old 04-06-2012, 12:12 PM
Beginner
 
ChiKat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,445
My mom, sister, and I do not eat meat. My omni 27-year old brother has recently started complaining about how my family can only go to a few select restaurants when we go out to eat together.
We always go out to eat to celebrate our birthdays, at the birthday person's restaurant of choice.
We went out for his birthday last weekend, and he kept saying that it's hard for him to pick a place, because we can't eat anything.
I've told him to pick a restaurant, and we will almost definitely be able to find something to eat. He said his favorite places are steakhouses and seafood places, but we can't go there as a family. Whine whine.

What makes it worse is that his girlfriend agrees with him. We had them over for dinner recently and my mom made Italian soup with pasta, an amazing salad, and garlic bread. Girlfriend said, "I bet this soup would be amazing with sausage!"

It's irritating to me, because we CAN go out to eat at many restaurants. Even if we couldn't, I would hope that he would respect our choices. If he was allergic to seafood I wouldn't take him to a seafood restaurant, and I certainly wouldn't complain about it! (I get that he sees this as a choice though, and it's not an allergy.)
As a family we have recently gone to Big Bowl (stir fry place), Cheesecake Factory, and Cooper's Hawk, and have had plenty of options.
I wish he could see that we are making healthier choices...many people I have talked to admire our veg*nism, because "they couldn't do it!" but he just sees it as a burden. He also has high cholesterol at age 27, but that's another story.

I just needed to vent, and wanted to see if anyone has any words of wisdom! I haven't said anything to him yet, but if he mentions it again I would like to say something without coming off as being defensive.

I would love to tell him that meat can be high in fact and cholesterol which can lead to a build-up of plaque in the arteries, which can ultimately lead to a heart attack...which was the result of our father's premature death...but I won't go there!
ChiKat is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 Old 04-07-2012, 09:00 AM
Beginner
 
Savvington's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 663
Why the need for restaurants specifically? Can't you all go someplace not food related and take food with you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiKat View Post

I would love to tell him that meat can be high in fact and cholesterol which can lead to a build-up of plaque in the arteries, which can ultimately lead to a heart attack...which was the result of our father's premature death...but I won't go there!

Yeah, you really shouldn't eat people, it's unhealthy.

Jesus saved me, but the file was corrupted.
Savvington is offline  
#3 Old 04-07-2012, 09:33 AM
Beginner
 
ElaineV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,973
So sorry your brother and his girlfriend are acting so immature. At 27 he should really not be acting like a self-absorbed 13 year old. But I guess you can't really change that.

I second the notion of just avoiding food-centered celebrations as much as possible with people like that. Instead, go for a hike or see a movie. You can go bowling or go out for drinks. You can go shopping or see a baseball game. You can go to a play or visit a museum. You can do a spa day or take a day trip. There are all kinds of things you can do to celebrate a special day without making it all about eating, eating, eating.

Regarding the girlfriend's comment about sausage: I would have said, "I bet you're right. I have some veggie sausage and I'll try adding it to the soup next time."

Next time he starts whining, just remind him of how childish he's being. Make a joke out of it so it's not mean-spirited, but get the point across that mature adults do not whine about having to compromise about restaurant choices when there are dietary restrictions at play. He's being selfish and he needs that pointed out to him.
ElaineV is offline  
#4 Old 04-07-2012, 09:38 AM
Beginner
 
ChiKat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,445
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElaineV View Post

Next time he starts whining, just remind him of how childish he's being. Make a joke out of it so it's not mean-spirited, but get the point across that mature adults do not whine about having to compromise about restaurant choices when there are dietary restrictions at play. He's being selfish and he needs that pointed out to him.

This is what I was looking for, thank you. I love him and we get along very well, but he is the kind of person that is always right. I have to choose my words carefully because he can be intimidating and will try to turn it around on me.
ChiKat is offline  
#5 Old 04-07-2012, 09:39 AM
Beginner
 
ChiKat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,445
Quote:
Originally Posted by Savvington View Post

Yeah, you really shouldn't eat people, it's unhealthy.

Cause*
ChiKat is offline  
#6 Old 04-08-2012, 07:50 AM
Beginner
 
vegan cyberpunk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Probably some airport
Posts: 1,280
Totally Agree with Elaine \\o/

http://www.cypherpunks.ca/otr/ https://www.eff.org/ https://www.torproject.org/

http://www.enigmail.net/  http://www.openbsd.org/  https://www.ixquick.com/

http://www.opennicproject.org/ https://www.autistici.org/en/index.html  https://riseup.net/en

https://pay.reddit.com/r/privacy/wiki/index

vegan cyberpunk is offline  
#7 Old 04-09-2012, 05:15 AM
Beginner
 
Nishani's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 7,577
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiKat View Post

I would love to tell him that meat can be high in fact and cholesterol which can lead to a build-up of plaque in the arteries, which can ultimately lead to a heart attack...which was the result of our father's premature death...but I won't go there!

If you'd love to say something, I don't really understand why you don't because you have every right to seeing as your brother is being whiny and his girlfriend is ungrateful and lacking in respect when she's invited to dinner.

m8itcanw8.com
Nishani is offline  
#8 Old 04-09-2012, 07:54 AM
Beginner
 
kari_lynn222's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 554
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm sorry. It's so frustrating. I realized recently, that for me, the hardest part of being veg is other people. It sucks getting flack all the time for your choices. Why do other people care if we prefer to eat vegetables, fruits, whole grains, nuts and seeds and omit meat from our diet? It shouldn't bother them and they shouldn't bother us with their statements regarding it.

On the plus side, at least your mom and sister are veg along with you.

-Kari, Minnesota mommy, wife and vegetarian. treatyourbodyright.blogspot.com
kari_lynn222 is offline  
#9 Old 04-12-2012, 06:32 PM
Beginner
 
ChiKat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,445
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nishani View Post

If you'd love to say something, I don't really understand why you don't because you have every right to seeing as your brother is being whiny and his girlfriend is ungrateful and lacking in respect when she's invited to dinner.

I will the next time he is disrespectful. I am passive, and it can be hard for me to stand up for myself!


Quote:
Originally Posted by kari_lynn222 View Post

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm sorry. It's so frustrating. I realized recently, that for me, the hardest part of being veg is other people. It sucks getting flack all the time for your choices. Why do other people care if we prefer to eat vegetables, fruits, whole grains, nuts and seeds and omit meat from our diet? It shouldn't bother them and they shouldn't bother us with their statements regarding it.

So true!! When I first started dating my boyfriend he seemed unsure about my diet...he comes from a family that rarely cooks, and eats fast food almost every day. During one of the first conversations I had with him about veg*nism, I mentioned that my aunt and other family members don't like my dietary choices. I told him I don't understand why people care about what I eat, because it doesn't affect them...and that made him think instead of making a comment he might later regret.
ChiKat is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off