Pornography and relationships... - VeggieBoards - A Vegetarian Community
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 Old 03-01-2004, 10:56 PM
Beginner
 
Strix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,089
Why do men like to watch female on female sex? Since most would not date a lesbian and vice versa, I don't see why this would stimulate a man more than watching male to female sex. Any brave men willing to answer this one?



Any women object to their man watching porn? Any men object to their woman watching?



Do you find pornography objectionable? Why? or Why not? Is it detrimental to society?



With pornography increasingly more available nowadays online, do you see this as an increasing problem for society?



Do you think it contributes to crime?
Strix is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 Old 03-01-2004, 11:13 PM
Beginner
 
kpickell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 16,090
1 woman, good.

2 women, even better.

//
kpickell is offline  
#3 Old 03-01-2004, 11:36 PM
Beginner
 
Tommy Gun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,056
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strix View Post

Why do men like to watch female on female sex?

kpickell's answer. I don't know why that's confusing to women, it always seemed obvious to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Strix View Post

Since most [men] would not date a lesbian

Well by definition that's impossible anyway. If you mean bi-sexual, you really don't think most men would date one?

Check out my webcomic! www.GrammarComic.com
Tommy Gun is offline  
#4 Old 03-01-2004, 11:40 PM
Banned
 
Max Power's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 2,612
If I've dated 10 women in my life, 5 of them were openly bisexual, and 3 or 4 of the others mentioned at least a minor interest in a sexual encounter with a specific female friend or complete stranger. If I've had 10 good male friends in my life, 1, maybe 2, of them been suspected of being interested in some kind of multi-guy action.



There's a reason: Women are beautiful. Men aren't. We're like freaking Christmas trees without ornaments.



As for the porn-thing, I suspect it has to do with the bio-anthropological issue of how often a woman is "ready to mate" (once/month'ish) compared to how often a man is "ready to mate" (once/15 minutes-ish). This used to be why kings had harems, but now that only freaks and weirdos <sic> have multiple opposite sex life-partners, we have to keep our "cycle going" or "prevent our resevoir from overflowing" or however you want to gloss it over!
Max Power is offline  
#5 Old 03-01-2004, 11:54 PM
Beginner
 
shethatisnau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 876
I'm a girl, and I'll be completely frank- I have absolutely no problem with my man watching porn. As long as he doesn't expect me to be like one of the girls, it's fine by me- hell, I'll even encourage it (Infact, I think I have). I'm open about my sexuality, I spend plenty of "quality time" with myself and I don't see why that should be a problem. I expect my man to do the same! I hope he's comfortable with such matters and understands how his own body works. I don't think that porn, in moderate amounts, is a negative thing. It might lead to overly high expectations or could become an obsession, but a harmless video/magazine a couple times a week doesn't hurt anybody. It's when people let their taste for porn get out of hand that it becomes an issue, and sadly, it does with some people. All things in moderation, really.
shethatisnau is offline  
#6 Old 03-02-2004, 12:00 AM
Beginner
 
ceryna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 2,648
I'm not really sure why it's such a turn-on for guys, but because I like to watch male/male action, I can't say anything about it without being a hypocrite. (Although watching male/male action is not sexually stimulating for me, I just find it aesthetically pleasing.)



I don't mind if my SO watches porn, so long as it's nothing illegal or extremely gross. I'd have a hard time dealing with a SO who was into some kind of really disgusting fetish like emetophilia or something.



I would also be upset if my SO turned to porn instead of me, forsaking sexual activity with me in favor of masturbating with porn.



But aside from that, it's all copacetic.



While women may only ovulate once a month, I certainly like to have sex more frequently than that, if I'm in a monogamous, sexually-active relationship. (I don't have sex outside of a serious relationship.)



So I doubt a SO of mine would have to resort to porn due to lack of interest on my part that often. ^^;;

We see the world as "we" are, not as "it" is; because it is the "I" behind the "eye" that does the seeing.
ceryna is offline  
#7 Old 03-02-2004, 01:07 AM
Kiz
Beginner
 
Kiz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 12,132
Quote:
Originally Posted by Max Power View Post




There's a reason: Women are beautiful. Men aren't. We're like freaking Christmas trees without ornaments.



I don't agree with this at all. I find men quite beautiful.



As to the porn thing... it doesn't bother me at all if a guy wants to look, as long as it doesn't become an obsession or he isn't into sick stuff (paedophilia etc).



As a side note, I'm not sure I agree about the "once a month" thing - I like it a whole lot more than that. I've heard that "men are visual" and "women are aural", that is, men like to watch and look, and women like to read and hear. Hence the prolification of porno with pictures for men, and very graphic "romance novels" for women.

Love the post? Why not buy the T-shirt!
http://www.kiz-shop.de/index.php?page=categorie&cat=8
http://www.kiz-shop.de/index.php?page=product&info=94
Kiz is offline  
#8 Old 03-02-2004, 04:49 AM
Beginner
 
The Hanged Man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 213
I have no problem with porn, man-on-man, woman-on-woman or man-woman, I think that a persons sexuality is a large part of the Self and that it must be stimulated (no pun indended) so that you can personaly grow.



Only straight sex works for me. The female form is beautiful, but seeing them grunt and groan over each other isn't errotic. The same with men.



I think that men only confess to liking lesbian porn is because they are insecure about their sexuality - maybe they are afraid of seeing an errect penis that isn't their own?
The Hanged Man is offline  
#9 Old 03-02-2004, 05:03 AM
Beginner
 
kpickell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 16,090
No, that's not it.
kpickell is offline  
#10 Old 03-02-2004, 05:21 AM
Beginner
 
Loki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,212
Personally, I don't like porn. It's crap. I'd rather go for the real thing, but if it floats your boat, then go on, as long as it's not some crazy fetish.
Loki is offline  
#11 Old 03-02-2004, 06:30 AM
Beginner
 
bethanie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,914
Hmmmmmm....



I don't think I'd have a problem with it necessarily. But to me it's has the same appeal as watching action adventure...get's the 'heart' pumping. There are people who seem to be in constant need of that rush. I don't really think it really does anyone any good. But again, I'm biased. Plus, my tastes have changed as I've matured and <cough> aged. I used to get excited over a well done erotic (not porn) movie...but now I go into a video store and I'm just not interested in it anymore. Not to say I'm not interested in sex itself, but I have become more of a realist...and much less into fantasy than I used to be. I tend to think I'd want someone who was somewhat the same in that regard. But I'd rather that instead of popping in some porn, my hypothetical SO would just come and get ME!



B
bethanie is offline  
#12 Old 03-02-2004, 08:38 AM
Beginner
 
monkeyandbunny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,133
Quote:
Originally Posted by kpickell View Post

1 woman, good.

2 women, even better.

//



That's my husbands opinion.



Personally, I have no objection to porn it gets some people off. Great. However it doesn't do a damn thing for me or my husband. It's detrimental emotionally to a select group of people who abuse it. For as "free" as we are in America, we certainly have some puritanical (down right stupid IMHO) views on nudity.



*should this be in the heap?*
monkeyandbunny is offline  
#13 Old 03-02-2004, 09:01 AM
Beginner
 
TreeManEarthSteward's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 7,895
Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeyandbunny View Post

*should this be in the heap?*



I have a heap of porno mags if that helps-- but yeah maybe!



J/K about the mags, I can't afford luxeries like that!



<------Check out Miss Soya Cow!



To answer the question on what Strix asks us, it depends on the individuals at

work and besides nothing against girl on girl per sé, and its much preferable

to 2 or more men doing it in any case.... and respectively the girls by themselves doing their thing for men to behold/enjoy/encapsulate/transpose/transfigure into whatever interpretation or fantasy they aspire to, from a view range of however close up is suiting to their taste as voyeuristic onlookers or sensual observers etc,,,err, yeah I think that about clarifies it...what the heck are they doing anyway?.....lol.
TreeManEarthSteward is offline  
#14 Old 03-02-2004, 10:15 AM
Banned
 
Epinephrine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,807
i don't see anything wrong with looking at porn in principle (in actuality i think most porn is extremely vulgar and mysoginistic, but that's beyond the point); but i'd never tolerate being in a relationship with someone who looks at porn. it would offend me to see my partner go for sex somewhere else instead of coming to me. maybe i'd have a different opinion if i had low sex drive and hept saying no all the time, but basically i think it's very unhealthy if anyone, be it a man or a woman, chooses porn over his/her partner.
Epinephrine is offline  
#15 Old 03-02-2004, 11:08 AM
Beginner
 
Lacykitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 207
I don't have a problem if my boyfriend watches or looks at porn.. like most said, as long as he doesn't choose porn over me. And he doesn't. The only times he's looked at or watched porn in my presence were when I brought a magazine back from Australia and we looked at it together, and when I was showing off the amusingly large amount of porn that satelites have.



But if he wants to look at it when I'm not around and available, go for it.



I also wanna cast my vote in the "lesbians don't do much for me, but guy-girl and guy-guy so do" camp... sigh.. LOL..
Lacykitten is offline  
#16 Old 03-02-2004, 11:38 AM
Beginner
 
blueserendipity's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 1,072
against it



for way too many reasons to list here
blueserendipity is offline  
#17 Old 03-02-2004, 11:41 AM
Beginner
 
spun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 64
i'd be really upset if i caught my boyfriend watching porn, because i'd think he'd want a girl like those in the video, rather than me. pathetic really. why watch it through glass, when you can have the real thing when ever you want it?
spun is offline  
#18 Old 03-02-2004, 11:54 AM
Beginner
 
ebola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,590
>>Personally, I don't like porn. It's crap. I'd rather go for the real thing, but if it floats your boat, >>



real sex over porn?? wow, you're really going off on a limb NOW. Not sure if many would agree...



ebola
ebola is offline  
#19 Old 03-02-2004, 12:13 PM
Beginner
 
kerouac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,563
I don't have a problem with it. It can be a useful tool, and whatnot.



I only had a problem with it once. I had a boyfriend who would have cyber-sex with women in the same city as us...and it pissed me off to no end. (Not really "porn" but he cheated on me just the same )



I don't think looking at porn ruins a relationship, unless it becomes a tool to use against a person instead of having sex...with them. That made no sense.
kerouac is offline  
#20 Old 03-02-2004, 12:28 PM
Beginner
 
ceryna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 2,648
Epi's point about most porn being vulgar and misogynistic is very valid, but that's another issue entirely, probably more suited to a thread in the heap somewhere. It would be an interesting discussion if anyone wants to start it.



Another point came to mind. I think that if I had a SO that expected me to act like the women in the porn films did, that might be a problem. I have no problems with roleplaying and experimenting with new things, but the fact is that I'm a real woman, not an actress, and I don't want to be an actress in the bedroom!



ETA: Not that I mean that the women who act in porn films are somehow lesser women, because I don't mean that at all. ^^;;

We see the world as "we" are, not as "it" is; because it is the "I" behind the "eye" that does the seeing.
ceryna is offline  
#21 Old 03-02-2004, 01:02 PM
Joe
Beginner
 
Joe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 5,659
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strix View Post

Why do men like to watch female on female sex?



From what I have read, it stimulates the fantasy of the man being involved in the threesome and what the women would do with him if they are already so horny they have to turn to each other, etc.
Joe is online now  
#22 Old 03-02-2004, 01:17 PM
Joe
Beginner
 
Joe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 5,659
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strix View Post


Do you find pornography objectionable? Why? or Why not? Is it detrimental to society?



Firstly, most porn today seems to be radically different from porn 20 years ago.



Secondly, I think there are many questionable aspects to today's porn. For example, there seems to be almost an obsession with men having anal sex with their female partners. (This was not true of porn 20 years ago, where anal sex was fairly rare.) This seems to be highly dysfunctional in what is supposedly our age of AIDS.
Joe is online now  
#23 Old 03-02-2004, 01:21 PM
Beginner
 
mushroom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,785
I agree with Epi.



Husband has always said that women on women porn does nothing for him personally and I believe him. Yet, he's also said that he would have loved to have had two women at once, in his younger years...
mushroom is offline  
#24 Old 03-02-2004, 02:25 PM
Beginner
 
Strix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,089
Okay, No one is answering my sociolocultural questions :P.



- Max Power, interesting about the once-a-month concept; biologically, that makes a lot of sense; though, I agree with the women who added that its more often than that. But that is interesting. And, yes, Ive heard that mens frequent thoughts of sex (and even many mens inability to be monogamous) explained in terms of an innate primal need to plant seeds .



-Shethatisnau, I agree all things in moderation; still I think there are dangers (exploitation, harm to the vulnerable) with porn, even soft porn.



-Ceryna, when you say I doubt a SO of mine would have to resort to porn due to lack of interest on my part that often, I wonder if have to is really the issue. I think its less a need for stimulation and more of a lack of something else, say, intimacy, for example, than a sex thing/need that leads people to pornI dont know, Im just throwing around thoughts



- Kiz, I find men beautiful too, but your other point also seems to be true: that men are visually stimulated (easier) and women moreso with words and gestures. I know I am anyway



-HangMan, thats a perspective I hadnt considered insecurityFrankly, Im not sure exactly what you mean; care to expound on that?



-Kpickell, not sure how you interpreted H.Mans post, lol



-monkeyandbunny, I agree with the absolute hypocrisy regarding sex and or morality in America; its almost as bad as the political hypocrisy



-VegAnaconda, Lol! A heap, ha? Hmmm By the way, thats a pretty sexy avatar! Lol, it looks like a Peta ad is it?



-Epinephrine, I agree with you: I believe porn to be mysoginistic, but I believe it *is* the point I think its geared toward exploiting women for the satisfaction of men (in general, of course, I realize some women like porn). I do not impose my morality on others and would never force someone to do/not do something (and I dont automatically think someone who watches porn is "bad" etc.); but, personally, for me, a man who watches porn is a turnoff cant help it, thats just me



-LacyKitten this statement But if he wants to look at it when Im not around and available, go for it isnt something I would not go for, lol. I couldnt think that way.



-blueserendipity, this is exactly the time to list them! Im sure your observations would add to the discussion; I'd like to read them.



-ebola, hmmm.first time Ive read a post from you that doesnt answer the question, Lol! Interesting. Care to at some point? :P



-kerouac, thats a good point too. I know someone who broke off a serious relationship because of secret porn watching. I guess it is like cheating in a way, especially if deception is involved. So, while he was doing this, you knew about it? He didnt lie, yet you still felt cheated on?



-ceryna, thats true too; I wouldnt like the feeling of having to put on a performance, lol. Seems men put a lot pressure on themselves with that though performance anxiety is what its called, I think.



-Joe, ahh, an honest answer That is what I wondered why does he like it: he sees himself in it, right? Okay, that makes sense.

Excellent point about the changes in porn; it does seem a perversity to glamourize anal sex in an age of AIDS, although it is transferred through other acts as well. I suppose the forbidden or taboo is what sells best. But I think its even more perverse to make sex without protection more exciting, in this age since the consequences can now be deadly.
Strix is offline  
#25 Old 03-02-2004, 02:34 PM
Beginner
 
VeggieBloke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 73
OK.. Here's an answer:



If there are two women there, men can picture themselves there without the "inconvience" of seeing another mans genitals on screen. I don't know of anything more disgusting than seeing another man's genitals....



Me personally, I find lesbian pornography hilarious. It's genuinely funny and you can tell that the girls are just dying to burst out laughing. (not that I've ever seen any... of course)





Just my two cents ... 1.1p, 1.5 euro cents
VeggieBloke is offline  
#26 Old 03-02-2004, 02:36 PM
Beginner
 
Strix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,089
Quote:
Originally Posted by VeggieBloke View Post

OK.. Here's an answer:



If there are two women there, men can picture themselves there without the "inconvience" of seeing another mans genitals on screen. I don't know of anything more disgusting than seeing another man's genitals....



Just my two cents ... 1.1p, 1.5 euro cents



lol, ah ha! Okay, I see, you've added a bit to Joe's reply. Thanks for your candor



How about answering the other questions!
Strix is offline  
#27 Old 03-02-2004, 02:48 PM
Beginner
 
VeggieBloke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strix View Post

lol, ah ha! Okay, I see, you've added a bit to Joe's reply. Thanks for your candor



How about answering the other questions!



The other questions?.... what questions



Why do men like to watch female on female sex? ..... answered I must be brave, or stupid.. or both.. can men be both?



Any women object to their man watching porn? .. can't answer. no women here

Any men object to their woman watching? ... no way. let women watch what they want, although most women don't find porn all that stimulating.



Do you find pornography objectionable? Why? or Why not? Hardcore porn is blimmin AWFUL! It turns my stomach, and takes something intimate and personal and makes it into something altogether nasty.



Is it detrimental to society?

Nope. People were rapists, murderers, chauvenistic before porn was so widespread.



With pornography increasingly more available nowadays online, do you see this as an increasing problem for society?

--> Maybe. People are blase' to porn thesedays. We see advertising increasing the use of naked men in adverts as they've fully exploited the naked female form.



Do you think it contributes to crime? Everything contributes to crime. In those deep dark places of the world where americans have recently um.. played policemen... (such a nice way to put it) .. crime against women is far worse than in the West.. and porn is banned there,





There. PHEW! I answered them all.... and there isn't even a prize!
VeggieBloke is offline  
#28 Old 03-02-2004, 03:17 PM
Beginner
 
Strix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,089
Quote:
Originally Posted by VeggieBloke View Post




Do you think it contributes to crime? Everything contributes to crime. In those deep dark places of the world where americans have recently um.. played policemen... (such a nice way to put it) .. crime against women is far worse than in the West.. and porn is banned there,





There. PHEW! I answered them all.... and there isn't even a prize!



Yes, good point; most everything contributes, though is not necessarily a cause. And, yes, the raping, discrimination, etc., is escalating.



No prize?... who said so? Ya never know around here give the "right" answer and you may be surprised
Strix is offline  
#29 Old 03-02-2004, 03:29 PM
Banned
 
Tame's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 13,022
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strix View Post

Yes, good point; most everything contributes, though is not necessarily a cause. And, yes, the raping, discrimination, etc., is escalating.



Really? The crime statistics data I have seen about rape shows a trend downwards in the #/100,000 since 1993. The newest data I could find was for 2002. There was a jump from 2000 to 2002, but the trend as a whole has been downwards.



http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/cius_02/html/...blerape04.html
Tame is offline  
#30 Old 03-02-2004, 03:32 PM
Beginner
 
VeggieBloke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 73
Quote:



Are you sure your source is accurate? It is after all your government. Hardly an independant study.
VeggieBloke is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off