I need help (unsupportive family) - VeggieBoards

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#1 Old 07-27-2006, 03:36 PM
 
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I was hoping someone could give me advice, I decided I wanted to become vegan just a few days ago, but at the moment my family really isn't fiantialy and emotionaly supportive... so I was thinking about just going veggie? i wanted an opinon... is this the best choice? Should I start veg and later in life progress into veganism, or what? But I just dont want to use animal products. I really feel bad that my family continues to buy them no matter what... Well I just wanted to get some more opinions on that. thanks! ^^ <3
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#2 Old 07-27-2006, 03:38 PM
 
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Im really sorry about the double post. v.v I didnt mean it.
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#3 Old 07-27-2006, 04:03 PM
 
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Unfortuantely, there's a lot of families that aren't very supportive of someone going veg. Especially if that veg is underage, underweight or has had problems with eating disorders (not to say you have, specifically it's just that those tend to be the top 3 reasons among people that have had no familial support). And then there's the whole "meat wasn't a problem to you before and why is it suddenly a big deal now" issue..... some families are just resistant to change and really have a problem when someone in their set does. There's loads of threads round here dealing with that very same thing if you want to read how so not alone you really are. There's also a lot of good survival info in there as well so definately check those threads out, k?



For the household products, there might not be much you can do at all. Unfortuantely a lot of CF (cruelty free) products are also pretty pricey... almost too pricey for a lot of people's budgets. If you have your own money you might be able to buy some CF items for yourself but seriously, don't expect the family to change over straight away.... not unless you're buying their household products that is.



In the food front: center your diet around fruits, veggies, whole grains, nuts/seeds and beans/legumes.... you know, the stuff they're probably buying anyway. Special things like veg burgers and soymilk can be pricey as well and a lot of parents are really hesitant about laying down that sort of money on a regular basis. If you have a job/your own money, then it might be easier to buy those products but if not, you'll have to work within what your parents DO buy and do the best you can with that. Also, read everything you can about how to have a healthy diet so you're not running yourself into deficiencies. Nothing's worse than going veg then having to go back to being a meater because the health started screwing up (and believe me, if you ever want to give your parents good ammo on why someone should NOT be veg, developing bad health is definately the way to do it ).



I'd write more, but my puter is acting up. Welcome to VB and stick around. The people here are good with support and question answering and often have no trouble helping someone out when needed.
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#4 Old 07-27-2006, 04:11 PM
 
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Thanks so much. ^^ ... but its really not like that sort of... I mean... we really barely have enough money to survive at all... we're a family of 7 living on a budget of less then 1000 a week... so yeah... I feel like I'm springing this on them to soon... I would try to work with what we already have, but we don't have much... really... but thanks so much for the support! And I'll definatly stick around! ^^
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#5 Old 07-27-2006, 04:24 PM
 
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Good advice 4everGrounded:



Quote:
In the food front: center your diet around fruits, veggies, whole grains, nuts/seeds and beans/legumes.... you know, the stuff they're probably buying anyway. Special things like veg burgers and soymilk can be pricey as well and a lot of parents are really hesitant about laying down that sort of money on a regular basis.



Most omnivores eat a vegan diet with the animal products added in rather than a radically meat-centered diet. If you learn how to eat a simple but nutritious plant-based diet you'll actually be saving your family money.



Are you old enough to get your own part time job?



And I like to point this out to people who are new to veg*nism:



http://www.eatright.org/cps/rde/xchg...3_ENU_HTML.htm



It is the position of the American Dietetic Association and Dietitians of Canada that appropriately planned vegetarian diets are healthful, nutritionally adequate, and provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment of certain diseases. Approximately 2.5% of adults in the United States and 4% of adults in Canada follow vegetarian diets.



A vegetarian diet is defined as one that does not include meat, fish, or fowl. Interest in vegetarianism appears to be increasing, with many restaurants and college foodservices offering vegetarian meals routinely. Substantial growth in sales of foods attractive to vegetarians has occurred, and these foods appear in many supermarkets. This position paper reviews the current scientific data related to key nutrients for vegetarians, including protein, iron, zinc, calcium, vitamin D, riboflavin, vitamin B-12, vitamin A, n-3 fatty acids, and iodine.



A vegetarian, including vegan, diet can meet current recommendations for all of these nutrients. In some cases, use of fortified foods or supplements can be helpful in meeting recommendations for individual nutrients. Well-planned vegan and other types of vegetarian diets are appropriate for all stages of the life cycle, including during pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood, and adolescence.
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#6 Old 07-27-2006, 06:49 PM
 
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Do your best and take it one meal at a time. Like Mr. Sun said, veggie foods like beans and tofu are cheap cheap. Much cheaper than meat. If you pitch in and help with the cooking, it might be easier for your family to be supportive. Once you're financially on your own two feet, you'll be able to make more of your own decisions about the food and products that you buy. In the meantime, don't go hungry and don't let your health suffer because that's a sure-fire way to turn your family off to the whole veggie thing.
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#7 Old 07-27-2006, 07:09 PM
 
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Okay, thanks so much everyone! this is really helping.! ^^ Thanks for the link.
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#8 Old 07-27-2006, 10:27 PM
 
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I totally understand where you're coming from. I went vegetarian when I was 16, and I would have liked to be vegan, but when you're still dependent on your parents, there's only so much that you can do without driving them crazy. I definitely had to buy my own food, and honestly I felt kind of guilty for adopting a different style of eating from my family. They're omni, but their diets definitely do not revolve around meat as much as many others and they do care about their health. Now that I'm leaving my family's house, it will be easier for me to be vegan because my family no longer feels responsible for feeding me.



Definitely take it slow. Give yourself an allotment of "forbidden" foods that you can have per day or per week and slowly wean off of them. I think that you will have a better transition if you decide to be vegetarian first. Your family will feel responsible for feeding you, whether you have your diet under control or not. Once youve been vegetarian for a while then start testing veganism. Wait a month or two minimum but I think you'll have better results if you wait 6 because if you've been eating meat and try to go straight to being vegan, you will undoubtedly have more cravings to cope with than you would if you start by becoming veggie. Wean off of one objectionable item at a time, and give it a month before starting a new one. You're changing your entire diet, and it's going to have to be a work in progress if it's going to be positive. Good luck!
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#9 Old 07-28-2006, 01:47 AM
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Maybe becoming near-vegan-- that is vegetarian but not too label obsessive, and it might be easier on the family. If you buy food at a regular food market, not a fancy up-scale over-priced organic market, you can actually save a lot as a vegetarian.
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#10 Old 07-28-2006, 02:11 AM
 
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I think if you're motivated to do either, the world will be a better place for it. Welcome to the club
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#11 Old 07-28-2006, 02:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UndyingSmile View Post

I was hoping someone could give me advice, I decided I wanted to become vegan just a few days ago, but at the moment my family really isn't fiantialy and emotionaly supportive... so I was thinking about just going veggie? i wanted an opinon... is this the best choice? Should I start veg and later in life progress into veganism, or what? But I just dont want to use animal products. I really feel bad that my family continues to buy them no matter what... Well I just wanted to get some more opinions on that. thanks! ^^ <3



Be sincere to your feelings. I also had a lot of friction and unsupport from my fam. Sometimes it was judgements, and something it was just uncomfortable silence because they'd not want to talk about the issue (likely because the topic was uncomfotable since they weren't wanting to change)

Be true to yourself, and also be kind to them. It is likely a difficult change for them, and it may be a challenge because it may reflect on how they want to choose to eat.

Be true to yourself tho, you have to always honor your feelings and never let them fade away on purpose or by neglect. I say this strongly because I neglected my feelings, because of conflicting feedback from others, and it took me years to re-realize how i really felt, and realize that i would rather be my best, than stay lesser to avoid conflicts.



There should be veg*an foods that are cheap too. Fruits, rice, pasta, breads... and a lot of others. So you can go all-plant now, or at least move towards much-more-plant.

If your family won't be teammates or supportive, then seek support somewhere else like here
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#12 Old 07-28-2006, 02:44 AM
 
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i also thought.. maybe it's possible to support your own new foods. If you paid for your additional foods, with your own money, then the financial part would be fixed more.

?
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#13 Old 07-28-2006, 03:43 PM
 
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i'm in the same position! we're a family of 5 and my dad just took an almost 10,000 dollar pay cut my family doesn't realize that it's not because of health reasons... you see, about a year ago, during the beginning of my adolescence (spelling?) my acidic levels in my stomach went way up, and i couldn't eat without feeling sick! so i dropped to a dangerous weight, and i'm only just now 10 pounds from where i used to be... hopefully i'll reach it soon i love bagels (100 whole wheat) with soynut butter - snacks like that are delicious!
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#14 Old 07-28-2006, 04:29 PM
 
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uh oh.. snack attacks and if money is tight, then make sure you stay away from Amy's brand frozen pizzas and dishes ! too tasty and organic, And too expensive



it does seem that fruits, veggies, pastas, rice, beans, home-made stews, etc are all pretty cheap and all-plant and healthier than non-plant foods
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#15 Old 07-29-2006, 11:02 AM
 
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I had identiclly same problem... We're family of 6 though..



First couple of months I onlly got meat-meals with meat removed from it. Offcourse, I refused to eat that, and started buying for myself... I couldn't belive how little I'm eating! It's sooo cheep buying for one, food lasts for weeks (well, for me it does) Now I'm starting to become completley vegan, and my parents arent shocked as they were when I became vegetarian I hope that that will happen for you too





ps My father refused to speak to me for some time
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#16 Old 07-29-2006, 02:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maggs View Post


ps My father refused to speak to me for some time



a reminder to all that face the hostility of being veggie - the reason a lot of people react so negatively is because rattling around somewhere in the back of their heads, they know there's a problem - and you are reminding them of it, and the fact that they do nothing about it.



it's so much easier to do the wrong thing if you're just the face in a crowd.
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#17 Old 07-29-2006, 07:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VeggieFrank View Post

a reminder to all that face the hostility of being veggie - the reason a lot of people react so negatively is because rattling around somewhere in the back of their heads, they know there's a problem - and you are reminding them of it, and the fact that they do nothing about it.



it's so much easier to do the wrong thing if you're just the face in a crowd.



that's my experience too. Even people who admired my diet change, still sometimes would want to avoid the topic... i feel because they started to think "hmm, shouldn't i also..." and they feared exploring that idea.



I would prefer to be 100% honest and full with my diet, and only explain it exactly as it is.



for what it's worth tho, i found there was much less resistance and worries from other people, (depending on it they were scared of the topic) to instead portray it only from the positive side...



Talking about health benefits is a lot easier.. it can't hardly ever be misperceived as being a moral thing.

And talking about eating a "peaceful diet" is somewhat descriptive, but also it's vague enough that many people won't feel fearful of the idea suggesting that they 'should' do something differently.



it's kind of similar to saying "i recycle". It says something good, but it's not likely to be misunderstood as a morally-superior statement or action. So with something like that, they may respect and accept our changes more easily.
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