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why are meat eaters defensive?

7K views 43 replies 26 participants last post by  PerryNZ 
#1 ·
Since most are,even when they act like they're not but it's obvious by how they talk? I find this interconnected with male dominance and think the only possible reason is on a level they may not be aware of,it threatens them to admit they are on the wrong path and what they are doing is wrong.
 
#7 · (Edited)
I barely even try to change the minds of people I know. But once they find out I'm vegan (it will happen eventually), usually they will go on the defensive and try to justify their meat eating, sometimes by being ignorant and rude...
To which I usually reply "When did the topic ever change to your eating habits?"

Not the nicest thing to say... I know. But I really can't be arsed to argue with raging omnivores anymore.
 
#9 ·
I go out of my way to avoid even talking about my veg diet with others unless I really have to for some reason (i.e. about to be dragged to a seafood restaurant), or if I am directly asked by someone who obviously wants to understand. That's the only time I will go into any detail at all, and I have to be pretty sure they really want to know. If I ever get the withering attitude like you got, Annabellevegan, my answer is to look them directly in the eye and say, "Because this is what works for me," in a respectful but very firm tone that basically says "you really shouldn't go wherever you are thinking of going." I've only had to do that a few times, and that response has so far worked every time. I think there's a lot to be said for recognizing an argument *before* you get dragged into it, and then choosing not to go there!

But I really hate having the casual conversations because so many people just suddenly think they are total experts on the subject (and they're anything but), so I try not to.
 
#12 ·
true,i'm not one to speak much about my diet. when i became vegetarian,i didnt focus much on it,and even de-focused on it when it came up because i didn't want to deal with the typical boring questions. but,i think with being vegan and new to it,i felt a sense of pride for some reason. plus,in the example listed,it was in that whole so,what's new question and i never know how to answer that with friends so i just said that to have something to say.

on another note,has anyone noticed vegetarian seems more feminine and veganism more masculine? I've read more women are veggie and more men are vegan and the reasons why and this makes sense and back when i was veggie i felt more annoyed having it brought up because it did seem like a focus on my "meekness" and "femininity" whereas a vegan,it felt more like a boldness,a strength. it is interesting.
 
#10 ·
I think people are defensive for two reasons.

1. Our reputation.

Veg*ns don't have a great reputation. We're known as 'preachy' and wanting to convert people. It's like telling someone you're part of a weird cult! While most of us don't appear to be like that, I get why we've got the reputation.

So, I think when we say "Nah, I'm veg*n" to food, the preconceived notions of veg*nism hits them and they feel defensive.


2. We hold up a mirror.
(Not my line, wish I was that smart, Colleen Patrick-Goudreu says it)

Even by not saying anything, they look at their own actions and probably feel judged. So, the defensiveness starts.


I'm not sure how to get around it. I try to be as laid back as possible. But it doesn't always work because a lot of people mistake being patient, with being passive. That's okay though, there's a line and when people cross it, they discover their mistake pretty quickly.
 
#11 · (Edited)
People are admittedly afraid or scared of things they don't understand. It happens to all of us. If something is different then they're use to they get defensive and hold strongly to things they know and can relate to. It's not always a necessary reaction but it's not unusual. The only thing you can do in that position is tell them you are living your life the way you feel is the most correct and that is something you'd never force on them. Tell them you'd be happy to explain why you are living the way you are if they want to know more about it and then also throw in that you are trying to live the most compassionate life you're able to (At least, that's why I'd add)
Making people who get defensive feel like they can be comfortable is important. It brings down their level of feeling some type of threat on their lifestyle.
 
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#15 ·
I don't think any of my friends have attacked (verbally or physically) me for not eating meat. I am not even sure I could say anyone's been defensive about their eating habits. I've had a couple of people say (longingly) that they wish they could go vegetarian. I usually say go for it and they will come up with all sorts of minor reasons why it wouldn't work. And my response tends to be - If you ever do go for it let me know if you have any questions.
And that's sort of it...
 
#16 ·
Every meat eater I've known has accepted my going vegetarian without drama. My mom told me that it didn't surprise her. My dad occasionally does the whole omnivore nutritionist interrogation. My brother occasionally antagonises me about it, but being my brother, it's his duty (I certainly return the favour). I have heard that his father-in-law's (my uncle-in-law, maybe?) reaction to the news suggests there COULD be problems there, but I haven't seen him since March, so...whatever. My sister-in-law has asked some funny questions.

Basically, everyone has been an adult about it. No defensiveness, except from coworkers a couple times when I would suggest that they grill their vegetables they put on their sandwiches, as if I'm asking them to go vegetarian and confronting them about their eating meat, which I'm not.
 
#18 ·
Most close friends claim they eat very little meat or "just chicken". This being the majority, they appear to concede that I am right but offer no reason for their meat habits. Yet on Facebook I have what may be a battle with one who posts his meat pictures or maybe I am reading too much into it? Another couple have debated me, one offended by my valuing animals over people and her husband claiming vegetable feel pain too, I suspect he was trying to be funny.
 
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#20 ·
Animals are not a sustainable food source!

Whenever I'm put on the spot for my choice of, or lack of food choice, I generally explain that 'meat' is no longer sustainable on a overpopulated planet. The comment usually generates some confusion.

I should not have to defend my palate. It's intrusive to comment on someone's tastes and, quite frankly, it's no one's business.

@darkcon good try using animal suffering to justify consuming them. You almost made it sound humane...
 
#22 ·
I usually receive open hostility from people who don't know me, like co-workers and new Facebook friends I've never met in person. Like they seem to feel they have to justify or defend themselves against my subversive, unchristian, un-american ways or something like that. As if I'm some kind of food terrorist. Even though I usually never say any thing more than; " No thank You, I don't eat chickens." or " I can't eat Taco Bell food because it contains a lot of lard and that has always made me sick." for example.

My friends sometimes make bad jokes. But, since they know I don't expect them to convert and I don't wave a flag in their faces over it so to speak, they pretty much let it be.

My relatives on the other hand; have never been openly hostile, but, do get rather passive/aggressive about it from time to time.
 
#23 ·
I usually receive open hostility from people who don't know me, like co-workers and new Facebook friends I've never met in person. Like they seem to feel they have to justify or defend themselves against my subversive, unchristian, un-american ways or something like that. As if I'm some kind of food terrorist. Even though I usually never say any thing more than; " No thank You, I don't eat chickens." or " I can't eat Taco Bell food because it contains a lot of lard /]and that has always made me sick." for example.

My friends sometimes make bad jokes. But, since they know I don't expect them to convert and I don't wave a flag in their faces over it so to speak, they pretty much let it be.

My relatives on the other hand; have never been openly hostile, but, do get rather passive/aggressive about it from time to time.

I thought Taco Bell beans and soft tortillas were lard-free. I haven't eaten there in several years, but I remember they had new vegan bean tacos called "fresco" or something like that.
 
#25 · (Edited)
mmmm...fresco. TB's beans don't have lard, they use soybean and sunflower oil. In fact, they're basically just reconstituted pinto flakes. It's what many restaurants use. I rarely run into places that still use lard. Occasionally an "authentic" Mexican restaurant will. Some frozen pies still contain lard, for example. But more and more companies are using hydrogenated vegetable oil instead.

When a local sports team scores a certain number of points, Taco Bells around here offer 4 Tacos for $2. I sub beans for the beef and get them fresco.

Here's their ingredient list for anybody interested: http://www.tacobell.com/nutrition/ingredientstatement
 
#31 · (Edited)
It would be nice to think so but I don't believe it. I think omnis, to whatever extent, think we are misguided but rather than call us idiots, they say what they think we want to hear eg "I don't eat as much meat as I used to" etc. I didn't feel at all guilty for the first 43 of my 44 years when I was an omni.

Sorry BaB because I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear...

Lv
 
#38 ·
the only people i've encountered who were defensive about eating meat, even before i moved to a meatless diet, had gutter pallets and would be the type of people who would smoother whatever they were eating in american cheese and ketchup. i cant say i care too much what these people have to say about cooking or nutrition. the people i know who enjoy cooking or care about the foods they eat, seem to be pretty neutral or positive about a meatless diet.

i will admit, i was a little nervous my first time venturing in preparing tofu, but that is strictly from an icky textures point of view! :D
 
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