how to not seem fanatical around non vegetarians?

[italianveg]

I've been vegeterian for quite a few years now, and am considering going vegan although I think it will still take me a while to convince myself. I am extremely passionate about animal rights issues, vegeterianism, speciesism...for university i am writing my thesis about food and ethics. the thing is that i find it very hard to be balanced when it comes to talking with other non vegeterians about why they shouldnt eat animals. I'm still trying to figure out how it is possible to try and talk to others about this issue (which is such a big part of my life..) without seeming as though i think i have "the truth". I am not fanatical. Most of my friends are not vegeterian. But i still find it hard, even with my own family, to try and get the message through. Most people i meet believe vegeterians or vegans are out to convert everyone else! I just want to get the message through that on so many differant aspects (which everyone can relate to) eating animals is not the right choice, but at the same time i want to balanced in the way i speak. being vegeterian or vegan is not just about eating or about what we wear, its a way of life. i want to let people know that they can make a good choice to stop the suffering of animals.
im sure most of you have gone/are going through this. how is the best way to deal with others whilst letting them know what is going on?

[Diana]

It is not fanatical to be against all forms of discrimination and exploitation. It is not fanatical to stand up for justice. You need to make sure that you realise that you are not being fanatical, but JUST.

What I find very helpful is to stress that animal liberation is not only about animals. It is a social justice movement, just as the same as the struggle against racism, sexism or ageism. No one can be free until all are free, and this includes other races, genders and other species. Animal liberation and human liberation go hand in hand.

I tell people that freedom is not only for human animals, but that all sentient beings are entitled to their freedom and to live according to their interests. I tell them that it is not in the interest of the animal to be caged, bred, exploited and often killed (in the case of when they are transformed into food). Talking about "transforming animals into food" often gets people thinking.... I mean, it's just horrible to think about a living being transformed into a burger or a fur coat or a pair of shoes.

I usually avoid talking about suffering. The suffering is only the effect, but not the cause. The cause is speciesism, which is discriminating against another species purely on the basis that it is another species. It's easy to get people to understand this if you compare speciesism to racism or sexism.

Yes... I have definitely found in my vegan outreach that when I talk of social justice, when I talk of the political aspect of the whole movement, that it is more effective than talking of "suffering". Because if you talk about "suffering", you're going to end up with people eating "Happy Meat" and "Happy Eggs" and "Happy Milk"... and even wearing "Happy Fur" (the various Fur Commissions in the world have now introduced an "ethical" label for some of their fur).

Of course, if you are only vegetarian, it's hard to get the message across that animals should not be exploited or used as ressources.... Your incoherence will be noticed by people and they will not take you seriously. Perhaps you need to work on yourself before working on others.

[italianveg]

thanks for the tips! only recently i have been getting more and more informed on aspects such as speciesism and i find that exposing the ethical (and environmental) aspects usual have me effect (mostly because people are not at all aware of certain facts, ex. greenhouse gas emissions etc). I understand your point about being vegan. I can assure you that I rarely eat dairy products or wear leather etc, but as i am sure you understand, taking the step to become vegan isnt so easy although I am trying to get there eventually. So I definitely do not consider myself incoherent and i think i can still make some valid points when speaking to others. i dont really agree when you say it is incoherent...for many being vegeterian is just a phase in becoming vegan.

[Diana]

italianveg: I was not judging you. Just pointing out that it's hard to speak to people of something when one is not convinced oneself. I understand that it can take time to get out of all thought patterns which have been drummed into one since birth.

Perhaps by admitting that you are being incoherent (without judging yourself) would help you see things clearer. There is no harm in taking an objective view of one's lifestyle. Bashing yourself and blaming yourself would be wrong though. Admitting that there is room for improvement usually leads us to taking steps to improve.

It's easy to go vegan actually. You just stop considering animals as resources. Once that intellectual step has been made (it is an intellectual step, not an emotional step), it's no more difficult than putting on your shoes.

A lot of vegetarians who find it hard to go vegan in spite of wanting to, only remain on the emotional level.

Repeat after me: Animal are not Resources.

[Michael]

If you try and talk to them about it they're going to perceive you as being fanatical. If you're driven to "inform" people then I guess you just need to determine how fanatical you want to be.

[Licence]

I am extremely passionate about animal rights issues, vegeterianism, speciesism... the thing is that i find it very hard to be balanced when it comes to talking with other non vegeterians about why they shouldnt eat animals. I'm still trying to figure out how it is possible to try and talk to others about this issue (which is such a big part of my life..) without seeming as though i think i have "the truth". I am not fanatical. Most of my friends are not vegeterian. But i still find it hard, even with my own family, to try and get the message through. Most people i meet believe vegeterians or vegans are out to convert everyone else! I just want to get the message through that on so many differant aspects (which everyone can relate to) eating animals is not the right choice, but at the same time i want to balanced in the way i speak. being vegeterian or vegan is not just about eating or about what we wear, its a way of life. i want to let people know that they can make a good choice to stop the suffering of animals.
im sure most of you have gone/are going through this. how is the best way to deal with others whilst letting them know what is going on?

I know exactly how you feel. Its maddening and although I don't get on my soapbox about it, I just cannot understand why anyone could do such a horrible thing as eating an animal.

[Fyvel]

It's hard to convince people to do something because it's "right". It may be a better approach to explain to them how going vegetarian can benefit them. Or convince them that it's the cool thing to do - like going green (of which a veg diet plays a part). Or mention celebrities that are vegetarian (like Oprah's recent? current? dabbling in an animal free diet). It really depends on your audience.

Most importantly, it's better to wait for them to bring the subject up, rather than starting the conversation yourself. For example, if they ask you why you're vegetarian, you could say "Do you really want to know?" and if they agree, then go for it.

[Masja]

I was doing great with family and friends, but a forum that I belong to and have been on for 3+ years, I recently quit because it got to the point where I was the only on there who gave a damn and it was so frustrating! I accept other people's decisions/choices to not be veg*n, but I don't respect it. I just don't get when the truth is staring them in the face that they can continue to travel the same road...I just don't get it. I'm so passionate about this and I know that this is the way, but I get so irritated and frustrated when I hear the same old "i love my meat", it just makes me want to shake them!!!
I think the key is to teach, not preach (as says my user title) It's about finding a balance. People have their own beliefs, and just because mine is right for me, it doesn't make it right. Now instead of exclaiming my beliefs to the world, I will simply offer my beliefs when asked or when I feel the need to defend them, otherwise, I'm just going to continue on my merry way and follow what I believe is to be true.

[eggplant]

I find it helpful to talk about why I'm vegan when people ask me, not about why they should be vegan. So instead of saying, "You shouldn't" or "People shouldn't" eat and otherwise use animal products, I say "I don't use animal products because..." Also, I don't talk much about it unless I'm asked, and I only elaborate on my reasons if someone seems genuinely interested. There's no use getting into an argument with someone who has their mind already closed to the idea. If someone is immediately on the defense I just remain calm and tell them that I'm happy with my choices and I'm not imposing them on anyone else. If someone teases me about my veganism like saying, "mmm... this meat is so delicious," I ignore them completely. Also, I never, never discuss it during a meal or at a social gathering where non-vegan food is present. If someone asks me about why I'm vegan while we're eating I tell them if they're really interested we can talk more about it when we're not eating and I offer to e-mail them information as well. This is how I stay sane in a non-vegan world.

[Poppy]

Also, I never, never discuss it during a meal or at a social gathering where non-vegan food is present. If someone asks me about why I'm vegan while we're eating I tell them if they're really interested we can talk more about it when we're not eating and I offer to e-mail them information as well. This is how I stay sane in a non-vegan world.

Great advice!

Once, when I was at a restaurant with some friends, someone asked me why I didn't eat cheese - since the animals "aren't killed". I made the mistake of telling her that there are no retirement farms for dairy cows and that, in fact, most of the fast food burgers served in the US are made from Bessies. She was visibly shaken, and I think I came across as a fanatic. I didn't make a convert and I've learned my lesson - go slowly at the dinner table - and ask if you can talk about it later!