Mother issues, and grandmother issues.

[Purp]

Hooray!! I wish both of you a very happy life together.

[Purp]

If I can just shed some insight by sharing a parallel situation here:

I have a Grandmother who lives in the same town as I do. I'm the only family she has in town (besides my Grandfather) and she hasn't been to any of the three residences I have lived in since moving here (despite my offers). Growing up, and still today, she was heartless and slagged my whole family (including me) by questioning our intelligence, abilities, and choices in life. She even would wait for the perfect moment (having the whole family around) to call someone 'fat' just for greater impact.

She too is a control freak. We always have to have get togethers at her place, as no one else's place is 'good enough' etc. and if we do eat out it's at places where there is nothing I can eat, or it's so greasy or poor quality none of the thirty guests want to eat there, but SHE wants to eat there so we all have to go....Of course my vegetarianism is an issue as well, but she won't let me even explain it to her.

Alicia, what I'd do is invite everyone to YOUR place for whatever family get together you are having, invite your grandmother over, and if she says "No, thanks, I don't want to eat your weird food." or whatever comment she makes, her loss, not your, nor the rest of your family's.
Also, the next time she calls you "fat", just say, "It must be genetic. Thanks for the genes, grandma. I appreciate being fat because of you."
Good luck, and DLTBGYD.