older veg kids careless choices

[zippyzappy]

My kids are 12 and 16, vegetarians from birth. They do not eat meat and love animals and say they are committed to vegetarianism, but now that they are getting older and making their own choices away from home, I notice they are much more careless than DH and I.

DD will eat marshmallows and such away from home, knowing they contain gelatin, but feeling that gelatin doesn't matter so much. The other day, the kids went shopping on their own (I was in the mall but not with them) and came home with leather wristbands and wallets from Hot Topic. When I asked them what's with all the leather, they said they assumed it was fake leather--but the items have "genuine leather" stamped right on them. I pointed this out, and DD shruged and said, "Oh well, it's too late now".

Realizing they are old enough to make their own choices in this respect, I let it go, but I can't pretend it doesn't bother me.

Is this kind of a teenaged stage? Is there a difference in committment levels between those of us who chose vegetarianism on our own later in life and those of us who were born and raised vegetarian? Or are my kids just lazy and thoughtless?

Anyone with older veg kids, can you help me understand?

[MrsKey]

I don't think your kids are lazy or thoughtless. I think they're teenagers who are trying really hard to figure out for themselves where they fit and who they are. That is going to include some testing of boundaries (both yours and their own) with choices.

I don't think there is a difference of commitment levels between those who chose to be veg later in life and those who choose early (or are raised vegetarian). I think though that there is a wide variety of commitment (if that is the right word) to various types of vegetarianism because there is a wide variety of people.

Not everyone is vegan. So buying a leather wallet or wristband isn't a big deal to them. For some vegetarians gelatin is a by-product of the larger meat industry and not an item of great concern. For yet others gelatin is out of the question but milk and eggs are okay.

Just look around at the vegetarians here and see how many people who are all passionately committed hold different ideas of what vegetarianism means to them.

But these are teen aged kids who are trying to figure out what the right path is for them. That's going to mean trying some new and different things (even things that their parents may not particularly agree with). It doesn't make them lazy or thoughtless it makes them human.

[Earthling]

It's not the case here on VB but in real life I have never met a vegetarian who watched out for gelatine or paid much attention to the materials their clothes are made out of. None of these people were raised veggie and made the decision to switch in their teenage years. I also made the decision on my own when I was 18 and gelatine/leather is out of the question for me. I think it's an individual thing and not really related to age.

[veggielove]

To be honest, I think you should be darn proud of your kids. A lot of kids will willingly throw their parents values out the door as soon as they hit high school. A few marshmellows and a little leather are very minor excursions as far as vegetarianism is concerned... even my friends who were raised vegetarian due to religion will buy leather shoes because the non-leather ones usually suck so much (or aren't stylish enough for them) or will eat candy at the movie theatre without "checking" the gelatin. I know if my daughter gets as old as your kids and still calls herself vegetarian I will be very, very happy.

[zippyzappy]

Aww, they're good kids; I'm just trying to understand what they are thinking. I really am quite happy with them.

[Tofu-N-Sprouts]

Your kids will find their own way. Keep your opinions to yourself at this point, it will only make them MORE determined to do what THEY want to do... They have been raised to know what your preferences are (and it appears you have done a great job!) They'll find their own "comfort level" eventually.

My kids were raised vegetarian. My oldest (18) eats "a little chicken" (with friends, or at her Dad's, not more than a couple times a month) and really doesn't care - but then, she does not call herself a vegetarian. However - she generally tries to avoid leather in purses, belts, coats, etc - , but wears leather shoes because she is into sports where it is difficult to find appropriate/safe footwear that is not leather - she rock-climbs and cannot get safe/affordable/proper fitting shoes that are not leather; and plays basketball for her school and has had several foot/ankle injuries when trying to compromise with non-leather footwear. I figure she's still doing a GREAT DEAL to prevent animal cruelty, AND for her health...I'm happy with how she's turned out, quite frankly.

My middle daughter is 15 and *almost* vegan - she eats vegan at home with me, and mostly when out but doesn't stress trace ingredients. She is VERY careful about animal-tested products, no leather, etc. Her choices are great, but I am not going to make any more of an issue about HER choices than her sister's.

My youngest (9) used to eat some chicken and burgers when out with her Dad but lately has stated she's not going to eat "that" any more...


It's not the case here on VB but in real life I have never met a vegetarian who watched out for gelatine or paid much attention to the materials their clothes are made out of.
This is SO SO true here too. I wonder why this is? Do I live in the wrong par of the country? I know a good number of "real life vegetarians" and some "vegans" too and none of them are "strict" the way veg*ns on these boards are depicted... Not to say there aren't people who follow things that carefully, but I definitely feel like the overly-particular, hardcore vegan freak of the group, and I'm not nearly as careful as some internets people I know.

[*AHIMSA*]

If the worst thing your children do to rebel against you is eat non veg things on occasion and buy non vegan items, you are truly blessed indeed. :)

[Earthling]

This is SO SO true here too. I wonder why this is? Do I live in the wrong par of the country? I know a good number of "real life vegetarians" and some "vegans" too and none of them are "strict" the way veg*ns on these boards are depicted... Not to say there aren't people who follow things that carefully, but I definitely feel like the overly-particular, hardcore vegan freak of the group, and I'm not nearly as careful as some internets people I know.

Sometimes I think it's a lot to do with internet access. I did eat gelatine for the first few months I was "veggie" as I just didn't know about it, or what common foods might contain it. If I didn't have internet access I wouldn't know about ANY non-vegan ingredients besides meat, eggs and milk.

And sometimes people don't realise that if something isn't a chunk of meat, like gelatine or stock, it's still a product of animal slaughter and just as bad as eating a chicken leg or a steak.

Just miseducation I guess?

[liesemi]

I agree,

I am a teenager now and just converted to vegetarianism. However, I, like so many other "newbies" didn't realize that many products are in actual fact off limits due to gelatin and other such products.

And I must admit - sometimes it will be hard to cut certain foods out of one's life!

But speaking as a teenager, I believe that they are just being teenagers and sometimes eating a marshmellow or buying a small leather product is part of that. I wish I had been raised vegetarian from birth, because it would have made this whole process a lot more bareable (hehe) but I think that if I had been, I would still stick to my morals as a vegetarian. And I believe your kids will too - you should be very proud of them!!

I have a friend who has been raised as a vegetarian from birth and he does every once in a while indulge on a few pieces of candy that may have gelatin in them; it's a teenage thing!

Congrats on raising very good vegetarians; our world needs more!

[frenchie]

It's normal behavior, to rebel. I would take these opportunities to discuss their choices, without guilt or shame. Let them know ways to be more informed about their choices.