Thanksgiving

[retypepassword]

Thanksgiving's coming up soon, which means I have to go home. Everything would be fine except for one issue: my parents were extremely unsupportive of the fact that I decided to become a vegetarian last time I went home; I expect them to be even unhappier now that I've become a vegan. They complain that I'm too strict about my diet and need to be more lax whenever I go home...

We sometimes have normal meals where dead animals are included in the main course, which I'd, of course, rather not eat. But if I don't eat it, my parents get really angry at me for not eating what's served. So it's not: "Eat what's served or make your own," which I'd be happy to do, but: "Eat what's served or I'll get really mad at you."

Last time, I just resorted to picking out the meat, which is extremely difficult because it's so fragmented, but this time, I don't want to have anything to do with it. Help?

[cstadt]

Are you an adult?

My advice is what I would do in that situation: Bring your own food anyway. If there's going to be confrontation, there's going to be confrontation. YOU aren't the one starting it; and if a big fight results, it's really your parents' fault. Make sure they see that.

Do you have access to a stove or anything? Bring fruits and vegetables even. And I'd totally help cook. You can scoop out a bowl of things and make it separate without meat stocks and stuff like that.

I'm sorry your parents aren't more understanding. I'm lucky that mine are. I'm 19 and I live 4 hours away; My parents are going to my father's sister's for Thanksgiving while my 15-year-old brother's coming here. So it'll be my boyfriend, my brother and me.

So, I face a totally different problem: my (omni) brother has requested pizza and faux chicken patties. My boyfriend isn't much less picky. :dizzy:

[retypepassword]

Thanks for your reply!


Are you an adult?
Legally, yes. I'm 18 and in uni.

My advice is what I would do in that situation: Bring your own food anyway. If there's going to be confrontation, there's going to be confrontation. YOU aren't the one starting it; and if a big fight results, it's really your parents' fault. Make sure they see that.
I don't know how I could make sure they see that it's their fault for not being more open-minded. When they get angry, they won't hear a word I say.

Do you have access to a stove or anything? Bring fruits and vegetables even. And I'd totally help cook. You can scoop out a bowl of things and make it separate without meat stocks and stuff like that.
I've actually considered this; I first picked it up from reading Becoming Vegan yesterday, but I don't think it'd be practical. I don't have a fridge or anything.

I'm sorry your parents aren't more understanding. I'm lucky that mine are.
I think they hold the misconception that veg*ns are, well, fragile and unhealthy. Perhaps the only way to reverse this would be to show that I'm alive and well, but unless a doctor says so, they probably won't listen.

[Irissun]

My advice to you would be going to see a nutrionist with one of your parents. My mom was really nervous about my vegetarianism, but after the doctor told her it was perfectly healthy (actually HEALTHIER than an omni diet) she was fine.

But my older brother (he's 21, I'm 18) basically just berates me about my diet everytime I see him. When I told my family I didn't want to eat meat anymore, he specifically got extremely irate, and seemed to think I was criticizing his diet. He also spews completely false "facts" about how unhealthy my diet is.

Maybe your parents are just sensitive about their own diet; a lot of people feel guilty and get defensive if you tell them you don't eat animal products. Try explaining (if you feel this way) to your parents that you have no intention of trying to change their eating habits, that you're perfectly healthy, and that you would love to help out in the kitchen to get more experience as a chef. Hopefully, with time, your parents will see that you're not going to budge, loosen up and let you eat what you want.

[retypepassword]

But my older brother (he's 21, I'm 18) basically just berates me about my diet everytime I see him. When I told my family I didn't want to eat meat anymore, he specifically got extremely irate, and seemed to think I was criticizing his diet. He also spews completely false "facts" about how unhealthy my diet is.
This is exactly what my parents do, except I'm not too sure they think I'm criticizing their diets.

Maybe your parents are just sensitive about their own diet; a lot of people feel guilty and get defensive if you tell them you don't eat animal products. Try explaining (if you feel this way) to your parents that you have no intention of trying to change their eating habits [...]
Interesting viewpoint. I've never considered that they might feel guilty about their own eating habits. I don't know if I could actually talk to them about it --- communication's pretty poor in my family, but I could always make some inferences.

Based on what they've done whenever they've gotten angry at me for refusing animal products, it's actually highly possible that they feel guilty for not being able to do the same whenever I reject animal products. They definitely don't know enough about how they could stay healthy on a veg*n diet; they seem to think that the only source of protein in a veg*n diet is soy, and after hearing reports that soy products are unhealthy... Well, needless to say, they don't want me eating any soy products.

I doubt that's the whole story, but this new lens will definitely help me learn more about the situation. Still won't solve the problem, though.

Thanks for the input. It got me thinking.

[Spree]

i love thanksgiving, favorite holiday..
I plan on making some tofu lasagna or something with me to eat. I dont know you or your parents, but to me thanksgiving is more then just food, its about getting together and just enjoying good company and good food... People dis what I eat very often but I just laugh it off, being serious all the time about even important issues causes more contreversy i find.