friend has bad boyfriend...

[Spree]

so my bestfriend has been going with this guy for like a year. hes 20, shes 15, so ya, the whole time her parents were pissed, i have hated him for almost the whole time they have been together-- he made her feel like crap 2/3 of the time they were together (just the mental stress, having to lie all the time to her parents, him being "emo", threatened to kill himself more then once, ect)

he also has hepatitis c, or hcv, whatever.

i am the kind of person who just can not help but to try to fix things, so a few weeks ago when things were getting outrageously bad i told her i wasnt going to let her lie to her mom anymore, and neithier was i, so anyways day before yesterday, her mom approaches me and asks me what all has been going on and all, and i tell her (i didnt have it in me to tell her about the oral sex though...) i honestly felt like she needed to know, but they are fighting worse then ever and i feel so rotten for betraying her trust and just everything. i just dont want her to get sick, and i want her mom and her to get along and stop being so angry, and i want her to get rid of the bastard (he is the only person i feel the need to call such a dirty name) and go out with one of these good guys she can have -- she has really changed this year, he used to be the only guy who wanted her, but thats not the case anymore

he just tried moving so fast with her, had their whole life planned(is that just the thing 19yrs+ do?), engagement ring, ect, im like WTF!!!

so, im totally in knots, seeing, watching all this happen, helping her lie, covering for her, and im just like. he is such a ****D****&***T*FF&**.

anyways, sorry, any ideas?

[Zaff]

WOw, difficult situation. But honestly, I felt you did the right thing. I would have done the same, even if my friend hated me for. I rather her alive and pissed, then sickly and will probably eventually depise me for not helping her out sooner. You've done what you can, so it's really up to her wheter she wants to stay with this guy or not. Even if it drives you crazy, always make sure to tell her that you're open for that frantic 2 am call. You'll probably have to help pick up the pieces.

[s0ad]

Being someone who has a bf that none of my friends like... I can tell you that telling her he is the scum of the Earth and she can do better, etc. probably won't get you too far. I'm very happy with my bf but my friends think he doesn't treat me well, but he does. Anyway, they just make me resentful when they say these things.

I think she will have to come to the realization herself, and people putting him down will make her closer to him because she will think the "whole world is against her." If he truly is bad she will one day realize and feel foolish, but the only thing you can do is be a shoulder to cry on when she comes to this conclusion.

I think unless there is physical abuse going on there is not much you can do. I mean she is 15, but I don't think her parents forbidding would even help. Teens will go to great lengths to see the person they want to see.

And my bf too sometimes plans for the future even though I'm 19 and hes 21, but i just think its wishful thinking and think he takes it more seriously than I do. ;P