Me Veg, BF still wants meat

[jnh783]

Hi all

I made the decision to go veg earlier this year (I was one of those who ranted and raved about animal rights but still ate meat) however will be moving in with the bf soon and he has no desire to ever be vegetarian. He loves animals but doesn't have a problem eating them.

So.. I refuse to buy meat and I've told him that. I don't know how to deal with the fact that he will still want lamb cutlets and steak for dinner. I love him and don't want to make him cook seperately from me every night. I've told him for now that I won't be buying the meat but I guess I will cook it for him.

Before anyone tells me to break up with him, thats not happening. I just need to sort out this meat issue :whip:

[animallover7249]

If he wants it, tell him to buy it and cook it for himself. It's against your morals, and he needs to respect that - even if they aren't his.
He's a big boy, he can cook his own food. :)

[bigdufstuff]

Lots of people on VB are in a serious relationship with an omni, so I don't think anyone is suggesting you break up.

I say if you don't want to cook meat then don't. It is a perfectly reasonable request on your part. I would never cook, buy, or otherwise enable the consumption of meat for others.

Sometimes the omni partner may eat veg*n at shared meals but when cooking solo or out to eat will then do whatever he wants. If he decides he must have meat at dinner ask him to cook it for himself. There is nothing wrong with that. He should help out with house duties anyway.

[jnh783]

Yeah I agree, but he generally eats some meat every night at home with his mother now (grrr) - there would only be 1-2 nights a week at home with me that he'd probably go without meat.

[hoodedclawjen]

it doesn't have to be any more complicated than you choose to make it. my bf eats meat. if he wants it, he buys it, and he cooks it. most of the time he can't be bothered, so he has what i'm making.

i don't expect him to make me something that he finds repulsive, if i want it- why should i do the same for him? i'm not his mummy, and he's a big boy. he can cope- and if he couldn't cook, he's not beyond learning, or mastering the ready meal box instructions and microwave buttons.

why can't you make something that you both can eat- say veggies and rice, and then you make a veggieburger to have with yours, and he make steak to have with his? we do a fair amount of that kinda thing round here. its not unusual for people to customise meals- not everyone likes or wants to eat the same thing, but often there are things in common that they can both have, and each can add their own other bits on top.

i think you need to talk to him about it. by not doing something (cooking meat), you're not making him do anything (starve, cook his own meat, do a little dance, cry like a baby, run home to his mum... anything). you have choices, he has choices. its not like a 'you cook meat or he dies' situation. if you make your choice, he can figure out his own choice from the many available to him.

[jnh783]

Good points, thanks.
I guess I have always looked forward to living with him and cooking for him often as he gets home late from work. Not that I am adverse to him cooking for me ;)
I think the idea of cooking the basics like veg, rice and pasta and allowing him to add his own meat is a good idea.

[hoodedclawjen]

there are loads of things like that you can do, too- like pizza, baked potatoes and toppings, tacos (beans and salad for you, whatever for him), spagetti and tomato sauce (different meatballs for each of you), stirfries, etc etc etc.

its sometimes quite good fun to be doing cooking things together in the kitchen- you can talk about your day, pass each other spices and utensils, etc.

[rabid_child]

I live with my omni bf and he eats vegetarian at home. I don't handle or prepare meat, he doesn't care enough to do it himself, and he would never ask me to do that for him because he respects my beliefs and thinks it's not a fair thing to ask of me.

I don't see any reason you should be preparing meat for him. As other people have pointed out, he's a grown man, and if he wants it, he can buy/prepare it. You can still make him meals, and he can either eat them as is, or prepare himself some meat to add in.

[VampireJack]

It really isn't too difficult to feed a meat-eater if you have too.

I don't live with my gf but whenever I'm around there she will generally eat vegetarian food with me but, let's say she fancies a bit of meat instead of the vege option, she will just use her George Foreman grill to cook it as it's nice and quick to clean afterwards and doesn't spit like a frying pan would do.

[Earthly Delight]

the arrangement i have going with my family is i cook everything but the meat, including enough veg protein for all of us--if they want meat instead, my mum will cook that and just put that on their place in addition to the protein I supply--any leftover beans or w/e I just save for lunch the next day.

Seems like this would work well for you, if you want to cook for him but don't want to cook meat. Are you l/o?

[cathiasplace]

My dh eats veggie at home. He's not interested in preparing his own meals. I have a few cookbooks and just make sure we have yummy meals, doesn't matter if meats involved. :) Good luck!

[cstadt]

My boyfriend eats what I eat, if he likes it. If that fails, he makes grilled cheese. Bam. Done. Plus, everybody eats salad. (Though BF only eats it drenched in Ranch dressing... ew) He's got a few meat things around, like a can of chili and maybe some White Castle burgers in my freezer.

I don't much have a problem with it. I've warmed up stuff like that and took it to him for his lunch, which is less than 5 minutes away. I don't touch any of it, though.

What I won't do is buy any of it. And I won't cook raw meat. I don't care if he cooks it, but he doesn't. Like a lot of guys, he's pretty lazy in the kitchen. Definitely the 'instant gratification' type.

If you don't mind cooking it, than go ahead and do it. But like some other's said. It's fun to cook at the same time. So you can make all the non-meat stuff while he's cooking up his whatevers.

[jnh783]

Are you l/o?

Whats that mean?

To be honest I dont mind cooking meat *at the moment* because I've just transitioned to vegetarian after cutting right back for a long time. I want to cut all animal products out though, working on the new shopping.
I dont believe in being silly about the whole thing. Yes its important to me that Im not consuming animal products. Whether I buy/cook his for him seems irrelivant as he is going to eat it anyway.. even if it means going out to buy Mcdonalds. I'm still doing my bit, whilst keeping the one I love happy and hopefully making him think about what he's eating a bit more... we have been to veg restaurants and he is open minded to it.

[K3llyFr4ley]

I myself are in the same boat, when we go shopping for food, I wont buy any meat. (I wont cook it either) The last time we went shopping the only meat that was in the full, and overloaded cart... was his 4pk of Chef boyardee thingys. Although he does eat meat, he very much enjoys the Vegan Boca Burgers(I prefer the Vegan ones over the Vegetarian ones), and Morning Star Bacon. But he is open to becoming Veggie, so it is easier I guess.

[bigdufstuff]

Whats that mean?

l/o = lacto(dairy)/ovo(eggs) vegetarian

[jnh783]

I've never eaten eggs and Im in the process of cutting out dairy. My most difficult thing is ice cream..

[paisleyjane]

My husband is a meat-eater. We do okay :)

My hubby:

- pays for meat out of his own money.
- cooks his own meat.
- cleans up any meaty pots, pans, plates, etc.
- keeps meat in a specified area of the fridge.
- keeps the window open while cooking meat, so the smell doesn't linger longer than necessary.
- brushes his teeth after dinner, so I don't have to kiss his someone with meaty breath.

Surprisingly, most of these ideas were his. He wanted to make things easy for me. I appreciated everything he does and our arrangement works out great.

We do cook a lot of seperate meals, but 2-3 times per week he or I will cook a vegetarian meal that we both eat. He usually adds chicken or beef to his plate, but we still get to share a meal together. Also, we tend to go out for food if we *really* want to share some time together over dinner.

Good Luck, it'll work itself out!!

[sybaritik]

I've never eaten eggs and Im in the process of cutting out dairy. My most difficult thing is ice cream..

This might ease the pain :)

Mototo (http://www.mototodairyfree.com/locations)

Bliss (http://www.sogood.sanitarium.com.au/products/icecreamalternative/icecream.aspx)

Fruccio (http://www1.icecream.com.au/products_fruccio.asp?id=13)

[jnh783]

Thanks sybaritik

paisleyjane - lucky you! :D
Mine is currently going through a depressive phase due to my eating habits seemingly affecting our life. :tired:

[Veggily]

You should do whatever works for you as a couple, and you can change things as you go along. Whatever you decide now doesn't have to be written in stone. BTW, my hubby had a hard time with my giving up meat at first, because we used to share our dishes at restaurants and I suddenly became more concerned with what my dish was than whether it was the tastiest on the menu. But he is really great about it now, and will even sometimes call ahead and/or talk with the staff to make sure I get what I need.

[ashlend]

I personally will NOT cook meat for my omni husband. I can't imagine purchasing or cooking meat for anyone; if I wouldn't do it for myself then how can I do it for him? But I understand that there are different points of view on this issue.

Personally I would draw the line NOW if you don't want to cook meat for him. Otherwise you will be stuck doing it forever. When I went veg*n I told DH he was going to have to buy/cook his own meat. He complained about it a bit but I stuck to my guns as it was not a negotiable point for me. But it sounds like you feel a bit differently about it than I do/did.

[irie]

at our house i dont want anything to do with meat.
so he:
- pay for it
- cook it
- clean up
- eat meat in another room than what im in:P (i get quite "ill" of the smell)

usually he eat what i make. he eat meat when we are out or visiting, other that that he buy meat when we go to bbq's or once/twice a month if he really wants it.

(i also refuse to pay for leather items for him as well, i dont want anything to do with it or the meat industry. might sound a bit strange but if i pay meat or leather items for him i feel like i am the one that support those industries)

[jenni-anti-fur]

Lots of people on VB are in a serious relationship with an omni, so I don't think anyone is suggesting you break up.

I say if you don't want to cook meat then don't. It is a perfectly reasonable request on your part. I would never cook, buy, or otherwise enable the consumption of meat for others.

Sometimes the omni partner may eat veg*n at shared meals but when cooking solo or out to eat will then do whatever he wants. If he decides he must have meat at dinner ask him to cook it for himself. There is nothing wrong with that. He should help out with house duties anyway.

I am one of those vbers in a serious relationship with an omni....he is the one who cooks so he will cook a veggie meal and cook some meat add ons for himself or not he is eating more veggies now and I am happy about that but would never expect him to stop eating meat....same way he doesnt expect me to eat it....I dont cook it usually but then again honestly I dont cook at all....hehe:)