same old weightloss issue...

[shethatisnau]

I feel stupid creating a new post for this knowing that here are already existing topics, but I didn't feel comfortable just jumping in on the already formed threads with already formed friendships and issues, so I started my own. Feel free to berate me if you wish, it's fully understandable. :P

Anyhow, here's the deal:

I'm young (almost 16), I'm fairly active (atleast an hour of exercise 5-6 days a week), and while I'm in the "healthy" weight range, I do have excessive bodyfat which is a problem in my sport, AND I have a binge eating problem. I often find myself with insatiable cravings for refined sugar or carbohydrates, and have managed to take in incredible quantities of food at a time (I went through an 8" round vegan cake in 24 hours, baked another, and went through that one in the next 24 hours). I want to end this bingeing cycle, I know it's terribly unhealthy and I've tried, but everytime I fail- I don't know what to do anymore. I used to have ED-Nos (I'm 5'9" and got to my lowest weight of 123- my heighest was 176), and now that I feel healthier I have no desire to starve or restrict severely (especially since I need energy in order to perform well in swim team, which means everything to me), but I do need help getting back in control of my eating and relearning the ability to listen to my body's signals. My skin is broken out and greasy, my stomach jiggles and my thighs touch (which in itself isn't horrible, but for someone who suffered an eating disorder for 2 years that's not something I'm ready to accept and take pleasure in), I've lost my self-esteem (I never leave the house anymore because I'm too ashamed of myself) and I feel like I've hit a dead end...

Anyone have any suggestions? I know I should focus on eating whole grains, fruits, vegetables and the like and try to cut back on refined or processed foods, but I have a hard time accomplishing satiety and overcoming my cravings. I can't really do the "two cookies and stop" thing, because I've gotten into the habit of going through 12 cookies at a time. Should I try to eat more protein? Less carbohydrates? More? Less fat? More fiber? So confusing...

I feel so hopeless, I'm sorry to bother you all with my pointless ramblings...It seems so pathetic, that I'm not even a legal adult yet and I'm going to be suffering these food and weight issues for the rest of my life. Anything anyone can tell me at this point would be awesome, and I will love you forever.

Also, I'd like to go vegan by my birthday (September 13th), incase that's of any importance (I'm currently a lactose intolerant ovo-lacto).

[1vegan]

"I do have excessive bodyfat which is a problem in my sport, AND I have a binge eating problem."

Where is that fat and what is the sport if I may ask?

I have to admit I don't know you yet...so this might be harsh on you but .....er.......

Could this stem from mental problems....?

[shethatisnau]

I'm a competitive swimmer and my excess weight hangs all around the midsection and lower body (i.e- belly, butt, hips and thighs; as is usually normal for females I've come under the impression).

Er, mental problems? Well, I know I have issues with food (history of Ed-NOS kind-a sort-a suggests that one), and I tend towards depression, but I hardly think I'm crazy if that's what you mean. o_0;; Though, I do believe I have an addiction to food, if -that's- what you mean.

[rainbowmoon]

What do you weigh now? Since you obviously had a problem with restricting and had an ED, I wonder if you are seeing something that isn't there.
That does happen sometimes.
Anyway, if not, what I see as the problem is that you need to find a balance on the food continuum. I have this problem as well, as I used to have a big problem with binge eating and have also starved.
If you want to be a successful swimmer, you know that starving yourself will not get you there. You won't have any energy to work. So if you can use your swimming as a reason to avoid restricting, that might help.
The binging is a different problem, and my guess is that it is probably emotional. WHY are you binging. You know you are doing it, but I am wondering if you know why. Boredom? Stress? Sadness? Comfort? From my own experiences you need to find the reason behind your binges in order to solve the problem. Then, you have to be really cognitive of your eating and be hard on yourself as well. When you've slammed down half a cake, you have to force yourself to stop. Think about it. Turn around, get your shoes on, and go for a walk. Grab the phone and call a friend. Get online and come talk to us about it....just don't keep going. The first time you interrupt a binge and STOP yourself...you will gain tremendous power. It IS hard - it feels like leaning against a brick wall and pushing- but you can do it.
A suggestion about food: Plan your meals. Grocery shop, and then sit down and make a list of what you are going to eat Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Let Saturday and Sunday be a little wierd; more random, otherwise you'll go crazy from trying to control yourself too much. Buy snack size treats, and if you bake, either cut it into snack size portions if you can control yourself to eat one at a time, or cut off a few pieces and give the rest away. ( I usually take a small part of cake, brownies, whatever, and section it off as mine, then take a littttle bit of butter and dribble it over the rest, then frost it and give it to my parents. This makes it unsuitable for vegans, so I won't eat it)
Some of the things I suggest sound a little crazy, but you have to train your body and your mind to eat well and normally and get your habits in order. I am sure you won't have to be as strict once you get yourself in line....I am not fully there yet, but I am doing a lot better. After working HAARD, I no longer really binge. I still OVER EAT, but I rarely get that out of control feeling anymore.
lovenlight,
linz

[EquiPro]

I've lived through exactly what you are living through. I have a different recommendation - go to your doctor and ask to try an anti-depressant.

I am on them and have realized that a lot of what I went through with those issues was my response to depression. Do you also have obsessive thoughts? I did - things such as worrying a situation to death - one that really isn't that important like you've had a small disagreement with a friend of yours and it is all that you can think about - until, of course, you eat a lot of food and stuff those feelings down. You are not realistic about your body, you use food as a response to stress, and, you have already said, you suffer from depression.

I know that a lot of you will jump on me for this suggestion, but it took me a lot of suffering, and a lot of years to realize that I probably needed to be on antidepressants as a teenager.

Being on anti-d's does not mean that you have mental problems. What it means is that you have a chemical imbalance, just as someone who has diabetes might have to take insulin to regulate their body chemicals.

If you have a good physician, or if you can talk to either of your parents, they are a great place to start.

[Shamus]

I have a different recommendation - go to your doctor and ask to try an anti-depressant.

Well, I would explain your situation to a doctor and see what they recommend. See if an anti-depressant is what they think you should try. After that, go and ask another doctor, and then a third. If they have differing opinions, I would re-think your options. The reason I say this is I know someone who is on anti-depressants. He went to a psychiatrist who recommended a certain type of anti-depressants. The doctor miss-diagnosed the type of depression my friend had, and gave him the wrong pills. Consequently my friend became even more depressed than before. The doctor he saw was well known and trusted.

Shethatisnau, I can relate to your urges for certain kinds of sweets and refined carbs. When I went on my last diet, I decided to give up as much refined sugar as I could (that is still the case). Normally I rarely eat cookies. I never keep them in our apartment. To be quite honest, I usually never think about them. However, once I went on the diet and realized that I couldn’t have cookies anymore (I noticed this on a visit to the grocery store), I suddenly started craving them like never before. The only reason for this craving was the fact I couldn’t have them, nothing more. I suspect you are having the same issue.

The best thing I can suggest for dealing with those snack-food cravings, is to find a snack-food that you can eat. Make sure it is something you enjoy. Keep it in abundance so when you do get cravings, you have it there as an option. Don’t worry about eating lots of food. As long as it isn’t very fattening, or filled with refined carbs or sugars, it really isn’t that bad for you. Also, eating whenever you are hungry (but not past the point of feeling full), is better for loosing weight than eating less. The short explanation for this, is that by eating whenever you are hungry, you fool your body into believing that food is plentiful. It reacts in turn by not bothering to retain as much body fat. I’m guessing though that as a swimmer, you already knew that.

[sandiemac]

Originally posted by EquiPro


I am on them and have realized that a lot of what I went through with those issues was my response to depression. Do you also have obsessive thoughts? I did - things such as worrying a situation to death - one that really isn't that important like you've had a small disagreement with a friend of yours and it is all that you can think about - until, of course, you eat a lot of food and stuff those feelings down. You are not realistic about your body, you use food as a response to stress, and, you have already said, you suffer from depression.

I know that a lot of you will jump on me for this suggestion, but it took me a lot of suffering, and a lot of years to realize that I probably needed to be on antidepressants as a teenager.

Being on anti-d's does not mean that you have mental problems. What it means is that you have a chemical imbalance, just as someone who has diabetes might have to take insulin to regulate their body chemicals.

If you have a good physician, or if you can talk to either of your parents, they are a great place to start.

OK....who are you and what are you doing living in my body?? :D

i've been an obsessive-compulsive since early teens and equi-pro is right. i should have been on ADs *years* before i was. Not that i don't still have compulsive thoughts/actions but i now can *usually* recognize them for what they are.

I think that alot of times food issues go hand-in-hand with OCD. i binged my way to over 300 lbs. why i have no idea....but alot of people with food issues seem to have OCD

[SouthernSky]

If you really do need to lose weight and you're not just getting into a disorder again then you might want to check out the McDougall programs (especially the Maximum Weight Loss book). It can help with the binge eating since you are allowed to eat until you're full. You eat whenever you're hungry. Since you're always full binging is less tempting. But on this plan you pretty much cut out refined/processed foods. Anyway, it's a really good diet for vegans and you can eat that way for life if you want. If you want more information, read the book or look at the McDougall board on vegsource.com.

[PunkRockRapunzL]

I dont suggest anti-depressants...if you have mental problems, then that is YOU, and you should be who you are even if you are insane. A drug is a drug no matter what, a form of escapism, and you should not be dependant on one. I believe in letting the body heal naturally, b/c it builds up yer tolerance to pain and strengthens yer immune system..unless said pain is unbearable and medication is absolutely necessary.

As for the diet, dont go on one. You are a teenage athlete, still growing, and you need to eat right. A few healthy adjustments could make a huge difference, b/c yer metabolism should be sky high right now. An occasional binge is fine, as long as you are eating sensibly the rest of the time to even things out. If you try to starve yourself, the binge impulse will only get worse b/c yer body will crave the things you are not supplying it with. Try to replace yer binge with a telephone binge to someone worth talking to, or a message board binge to share yer pain...there are better things to do than eat, and if you are not hungry, you will find those things.

Dont take medication. You do not need to hide from who you really are.

Dont look at the scale. It does not define you as a person. If yer self-image is low, of course yer body weight is going to look high.

[PunkRockRapunzL]

Please take care of yourself...an empty feeling inside can be filled by food for only so long.

[NDvegan85]

You sound a lot like me an couple years ago. One thing that really helped me with my EDs and emotional eating was keeping a journal. It gave me a safe place to explore my feelings instead of trying to use food to mask them. One thing for me that was hard is that I am a perfectionist, and I couldn't differentiate between eating one cookie and eating a whole box of cookies. It took a lot of work to re-train my brain to "forgive" myself for eating more than I had planned. Sometimes I had to just throw the food that I was tempted to binge on away. Wasteful, yes, but I needed to do that to get better. Also, you said that you had lost your self-esteem...you're listening to that little negative voice again, right- The one that says bad things about you and your body? That's not you, that's not who you are. It's in my head too, and it has taken years of hard work and commitment, but I can see that it is lying. It's okay to love yourself. For so long, I felt like I was such a bad person, and that nobody cared about me. But now I see that that's just not true. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to be happy. Oh, and one more thing, you said that you will be suffering ffor the rest of your life with this. This isn't a life sentence! You may have to work very hard for a long time, and remain vigilant, but you will get to a point where you are no longer suffering, but successfully managing your food issues.

[rainbowmoon]

Anti depressants are not the answer for everyone. They made me more miserable than I was to begin with because my emotions were deadended. You could give them a try, but first, PLEASE go see a regular therapist who can help you with cognitive therapy and try to manage it with diet, exercise, breathing exercises, ect. I am not accusing anyone of being a part of this - if you sincerely need antidepressants, I can't argue with that- but I think doctors are too quick to hand out antidepressants like candy without trying the other options first.
Just my two cents.
lovenlight,
linz

[MsRuthieB]

You may find something here (http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?s=&threadid=8254&highlight=living+large) that may help you feel good about your body. :) Body Positive Baby!

[Shamus]

Originally posted by rainbowmoon
Anti depressants are not the answer for everyone. They made me more miserable than I was to begin with because my emotions were deadended. You could give them a try, but first, PLEASE go see a regular therapist who can help you with cognitive therapy and try to manage it with diet, exercise, breathing exercises, ect. I am not accusing anyone of being a part of this - if you sincerely need antidepressants, I can't argue with that- but I think doctors are too quick to hand out antidepressants like candy without trying the other options first.
Just my two cents.
lovenlight,
linz
So true. I am often able to self-diagnose problems, understanding what in my life is causing them, and tackle them from that angle. However, there were certain points of anxiety that I seemed unable to figure out. The idea of going on drugs scared me – I hate the idea of putting anything foreign in my body. I was also scared that the drugs would make me into someone I’m not. I went to a psychologist first to see if she could offer me any help before I saw a psychiatrist about possible drug options. She suggested a few new angles to look at my problem from. I kept trying her suggestions, and after a few months the problem that had plagued me for years, was all but gone. No drugs needed.

[lighthouse25]

I know that this may sound weird but I have my own theory of what I do when I do come across greasy tempting food...I say:

Would my HEART want me to eat this?

If you love yourself enought not to eat it, you will save your heart a lifetime of pain from something that you could prevent in a moment!

I became a Raw-Vegan and by doing this I did something good for my heart, and this particular diet excludes all cooked food, flour, sugar/sweets and greasy foods.

So in my opioion you should do what you heart says not your cravings when it comes to junk foods! :)

[Shamus]

Originally posted by lighthouse25
I know that this may sound weird but I have my own theory of what I do when I do come across greasy tempting food...I say:

Would my HEART want me to eat this?

If you love yourself enought not to eat it, you will save your heart a lifetime of pain from something that you could prevent in a moment!

I became a Raw-Vegan and by doing this I did something good for my heart, and this particular diet excludes all cooked food, flour, sugar/sweets and greasy foods.

So in my opioion you should do what you heart says not your cravings when it comes to junk foods! :)
That doesn’t sound weird at all. The only way you can really change your dieting lifestyle (for more than just a short time) is to truly believe that dropping certain things from your selection of foods stuffs, is a good idea. If you don’t believe, you will start eating them again in a short time. I’m sure people here have just as crazy reasons for why they became and remain vegies. :)

[Cissy]

Nau - I know the feeling of not being able to control myself, though I suffer anorexia, not binge eating. But I used to go through entire bags of pepperidge farm goldfish in one sitting. But Rainbowmoon's advice is good - listen to her. And I would see your doctor, and I would definitely ask about the emotional issues/etc.

[oneness]

This is a support forum, so please use The Compost Heap for debating..


Back on topic please.

[oneness]

I split this topic, so if you would like to debate the use of Drugs for mental disorders then please do so in the Heap. If you are wanting to post support for shethatisnau, then by all means do so, but remember this is a support forum..

[spa_girl]

Nau, I definitely recommend talking a therapist or some other qualified professional who can help you with your self-esteem issues. Maybe once you have a better handle on that (accepting and loving yourself for who you are), then better control over your eating will follow. As I understand it, usually problems with food are the symptom of something greater. Once you start accepting yourself and seeing your body as I precious gift, I think some of the food issues will dissipate. I wish you the best of luck!

Edited to add: I don't mean to assume that you have self-esteem issues. I realize that you didn't explicitly say that you did, but hearing how you describe your body made me think that maybe it was an issue for you.

[rabid_child]

Certainly seek some professional help for the underlying problems.. but as far as eating stuff you shouldn't be eating goes.. I've solved this problem by not having it accessable.

Last night I was having a total sweets fit, and I'm housesitting, so I don't have accessable junk food like I do at home. So this morning before work I went out and bought TONS of fresh fruit (3 apples, 4 peaches, 4 plums, 1 mango, 1 cantelope, 2lbs grapes, 1 pint of strawberries) and made a big huge fruit salad and tonight when I went "SWEETS!!" I then opened the fridge and went "Oooo fruit salad" and had a bowl. :D

[shethatisnau]

Thanks everyone for your replies! I didn't mean to cause any ruckus (the anti-depressants thing) o_0; so I appologize for being the source of that. I appreciate all you're replies, though- I didn't really know what to expect when I posted this, and you've all been so awesome, thanks SO much!

Now I'm going to go pass out, because I'm tired. D'oh. x_x

[freemouse]

Nau, I was a high school and college swimmer for 8 years and I had pretty much the same problems as you do, just worse.

Swimmers are hungry! I remember how much food my body craved for when I swam hard for 3 miles a day. The only feelings I had between trainings were hungry and tired. My body asked for so much (which is normal) but I felt like a pig counting the amount of food I had to inhale. And I developed ED as a result of the fights between my body and the twisted mind. ---- So not worth it!!!

Nau, I know you must have an amazing body that can carry you through those painful final strokes. Believe me, feeling dizzy when you are in the water is no fun. My suggestion is probably cliched but I still have to voice it out: Eat a healthy diet that contains enough protein, veggies/fruits, and whole grains to keep cravings at bay. And keep in mind, you don't know how jealous those skinny girls are when they look at your great, beautiful, strong body :)