When should sex education be offered?

[rabid_child]

Someone on my LJ recently posted about how her school was offering an sex-ed program promoting abstinence for 6th graders, and a permission slip was sent home, etc... if the parents wanted their child to attend. She was appalled saying 6th grade was too early for sex ed, that they didn't live in a "rough" area where kids were having sex (though the state she lives in ranks above the two states she considered "bad" for teen pregnancies) and that it was completely inappropriate for 6th graders to know about sex or be educated about it. When I responded that it's better to catch them before they have too many peer/media influences, she said that any 6th grader who knows what sex is has bad parents, and if any other child so much as speaks to her child about sex she will pull her kid out of school and home school her. She thought sex ed shouldn't be offered at all until at least 9th grade.

She has since been eliminated from my friendslist, but I was wondering what other people thought was the "right age" for sex ed? Do you think 6th graders (11/12 y/os) should be taught about sex? I'm normally not a fan of abstinence only education, but at that age I think it's appropriate.

[animallover7249]

Well, I guess she should go and pull her kid out. I'm sure sex has been talked about to/around her kid atleast a few times.

[delicious]

I believe 5th grade is standard around here, however I will teach my child the facts of life much earlier than that.

[Beancounter]

I think sixth grade is a good age. (that's when my school started sex ed).
But in addition to abstinence, they should be taught the consequences of sex (VD, pregnancy). Also, taking responsibility for their actions should be emphasized.

As AnimalLover mentioned, the women is being unrealistic. Her kids have probably already heard about sex. It's important for kids to get the info in a sex ed class before they do something they later regret.

[hoodedclawjen]

any 11 year old who doesn't know what sex is has bad parents, if you ask me. by witholding important information they're setting themselves up for big trouble and their kids for a shock. where does she think kids should think babies come from- under the gooseberry bush?

we were taught about sex in an age appropriate and relevant manner as part of biology and personal and social development, right from a 5 year old level in school, and that makes perfect sense to me. a 5 year old can handle sex ed, at the right level, and should have it.

if you bring in info about where baby chicks (and baby people) come from when you're doing easter stuff with teeny kids, and talk about in how peoples bodies are different and what the different bits do, when they're about the same age (usually done for child protection/anti abuse reasons as well as for general info), then move up to puberty and physical and mental changes when kids are about 8 (you can't really afford to leave it any later, especially with the girls) getting into talking about what actually happens when people 'do the deed' in much greater detail with 11 year olds really isn't such a big deal or shock.

maybe this mum is one of the ones who think if you tell kids how to have sex, they'll do it. doesn't she realise that if you don't tell them about it, they'll still work it out for themselves, but will quite possibly get a lot of the basic stuff wrong, and not be armed with enough info to protect themselves from harm?

kids need all the accurate info they can get- i've worked with teens who despite having sex ed, thought that saran wrap and candy wrappers made good condoms, and who misinterpreted the 'smoking causes infertility' labels on cigarette packets to mean that if they smoked enough just before they had unprotected sex, they'd not get pregnant.

[animallover7249]

I started Sex Ed (in school) in 5th grade.

[kpickell]

any 11 year old who doesn't know what sex is has bad parents, if you ask me. by witholding important information they're setting themselves up for big trouble and their kids for a shock. where does she think kids should think babies come from- under the gooseberry bush?

we were taught about sex in an age appropriate and relevant manner as part of biology and personal and social development, right from a 5 year old level in school, and that makes perfect sense to me. a 5 year old can handle sex ed, at the right level, and should have it.

if you bring in info about where baby chicks (and baby people) come from when you're doing easter stuff with teeny kids, and talk about in how peoples bodies are different and what the different bits do, when they're about the same age (usually done for child protection/anti abuse reasons as well as for general info), then move up to puberty and physical and mental changes when kids are about 8 (you can't really afford to leave it any later, especially with the girls) getting into talking about what actually happens when people 'do the deed' in much greater detail with 11 year olds really isn't such a big deal or shock.

maybe this mum is one of the ones who think if you tell kids how to have sex, they'll do it. doesn't she realise that if you don't tell them about it, they'll still work it out for themselves, but will quite possibly get a lot of the basic stuff wrong, and not be armed with enough info to protect themselves from harm?

kids need all the accurate info they can get- i've worked with teens who despite having sex ed, thought that saran wrap and candy wrappers made good condoms, and who misinterpreted the 'smoking causes infertility' labels on cigarette packets to mean that if they smoked enough just before they had unprotected sex, they'd not get pregnant.
Excellent Post.

[Gwendolyn]

Yeah, not teaching your own children about sex is a bit crazy....And, I don't think that sixth grade is to young for sex ed...But, I think abstinence-only education is a menace....I might have pulled my kid for that reason....But sex ed in itself I think is appropriate at that age level. But, kids learn far before then about sex anyway.

[eggplant]

I think that woman is delusional.

[Quinoa]

I was wondering what other people thought was the "right age" for sex ed? Do you think 6th graders (11/12 y/os) should be taught about sex? I'm normally not a fan of abstinence only education, but at that age I think it's appropriate.
We had the first “general” (just the main biological facts, no info about contraceptives or so) sex ed in elementary school, and then in 7th or 8th grade more detailed. AIDS was a rather new concern then, and I remember the issue was already included. Different kinds of contraceptives were explained, without any particular emphasis on abstinence. I think the emphasis was more generally on acting responsibly. From what I remember about what sex ed at school was like, I'd say it would be beneficial (for both groups) if girls and boys got separate lessons at that age though (we did not), which I have heard some schools here are doing now.

I think parents themselves should tell their kids the “facts” in an age-appropriate way first.
We had a very simple picture book called (transl.) “Mother and father are having a baby” at home.
This was in the 1970s by the way (in Europe though).


she said that any 6th grader who knows what sex is has bad parents, and if any other child so much as speaks to her child about sex she will pull her kid out of school
I think it is very unrealistic of her to think that there are any 6th graders (unless maybe home-schooled) who have not heard about sex! Sure they often are misinformed – but that is just another reason for early-on sex ed.

[frenchie]

I personally think SEX education should be a class offered in 9th grade. I remember my class being very graphic and super informative. I personally think 6th graders are too immature to have a sex ed class. However, I do believe a basic class about the body and reproduction is appropriate.

[hoodedclawjen]

i think it really does depend on how you veiw 'sex ed'. the concept that 'daddy helps plant a seed in mummys tummy and a baby grows inside there' is sex ed... its just not at the same level as you'd hope 15 year olds would be getting.

[Fona]

I think we had 2 terms of sex ed one in year 7 and one in year 9, the 2nd one much more in depth. Our parents signed forms for it to happen in year 6 but it didn't (maybe a lot of parents said no).

I think the average age for when people start having sex in the UK is about 15-16 (legal at 16).
I would say that a good age to start sex ed would be about year 6 or 7 because it's earlier than most kids are going to do it while still keeping it close enough to the legal age so that kids don't feel ready a lot sooner. It should be pretty basic then and get more informative in later years, similar to what our school did, but more of it.
If it were given to younger kids they'd either mess about a lot and not understand the importance of what they're being told or feel ready for sex a lot sooner and want to experience what they're being taught about.
There should be puberty stuff done before that in year 5. When we had the period talks (yr7) a lot of kids had already started so the information was useless.

[Yero]

In fifth grade we watched a video on sex. I am now in 9th grade and we haven't had any classes and the only thing we learn about is the reproductive system in Biology class.

[Fona]

We got shown this video called "Sally's baby" it was ridiculous and led from her having sex to the birth, but on 2 occasions she was naked in the shower, why did they need to show us that? Guys fainting at the birth was funny though.

[hoodedclawjen]

I think that there should be puberty stuff done before that in year 5. When we had the period talks (yr7) a lot of kids had already started so the information was useless.

:yes: we had a period talk for the girls (complete with freaky demonstrations of tampons being submerged in glasses of water, and sample handouts and leaflets from always) at the start of year 6 (kids were mainly aged 10), and it was a little late for a few girls.

[vigilant20]

I agree with this. 11 is far too young for sex ed.


I personally think SEX education should be a class offered in 9th grade. I remember my class being very graphic and super informative. I personally think 6th graders are too immature to have a sex ed class. However, I do believe a basic class about the body and reproduction is appropriate.

[m4rk0]

I agree with this. 11 is far too young for sex ed.
You do realize that there are 11 year olds having sex out there? Might be a little too late to offer them information after they've begun experimenting.

[delicious]

We learned about masturbation in the 5th grade - and I'm happy to report they said it was normal, natural and healthy. And private. :p

[animallover7249]

I personally think SEX education should be a class offered in 9th grade. I remember my class being very graphic and super informative. I personally think 6th graders are too immature to have a sex ed class. However, I do believe a basic class about the body and reproduction is appropriate.

I know of students who were pregnant before 9th grade.

[Cissy]

We had basic talks about puberty, periods, etc in 4th grade (age 9), which is good - not too early, but early enough to catch girls before they start it.

We got more into reproduction and stuff in 7th grade (age 12) - we watched a video of childbirth, a couple other things.

We talked about STIs, protection, contraceptives in 9th Grade (age 14).

I think 7th grade is about right, I know a lot of kids who started messing around and even having sex at that age.

[Fona]

I keep reading the title of this thread as "when should sex be offered" :worried:

[eggplant]

I keep reading the title of this thread as "when should sex be offered" :worried:

Me too! :lol:

[Sevenseas]

I keep thinking the thread title is a reference to some guy called Edward who doesn't think about anything else than sex. "Sex Ed was in the supermarket today. He was rubbing himself against the cereal self again, when will that guy learn some self-control?"

[Jon_Veggie]

I think we first had sex ed in the last year of primary school (age 10/11) and got it in high school too.

It was very much 'biological' though, as in scientific information about periods, pregnancy, 'the sperm and the egg' etc. and didn't deal with a lot of important issues that young people face.

One thing it didn't cover was male ejaculation. I wonder how many of us guys were more than a little alarmed when at a young age we experienced our first 'spurt' and may not have known exactly what the heck was happening.