"Below-The-Belt" Exams + Insecurities

[Scorpius]

So, I'm 21, have been sexually active since I was 18. I've never had a "below-the-belt" exam since I was an adolescent at the pediatrician.

I see my PCP all the time, I'm practically a regular at the place-and I really like her as a doctor and a person ((except when she yells at me when I don't eat... :sweat: I guess that's her job, though!)).
Apparently doing a pelvic exam just got swept aside dealing with all my other random medical problems [mostly all complications from an ED:: low weight, amenorrhea, poor nutrition, various deficiencies, major clinical depression...fun stuff].

Then I realized that I never had one done because I declined the offer every time she brought the subject up. I'm really freaked out by any organ below my waistline [well the reproductive ones, but intestines can be kinda creepy too]!
I guess you'd say I have insecurities with being a female ((hence me going through an "asexual" time in High School, which only became more complicated by a rape/assault/unfavorable first sexual experience when I was 18)).

[[This is the most random post ever, but I'm coming to a point soon...]]

So I've decided to call my PCP to set something up :worried: ..as soon as the office opens.

Anyone share similar insecurities, or am I being silly getting myself all worked up over nothing?

[mazikeen]

I think it's understandable to feel funny about a pelvic exam, especially if you already don't feel comfortable about your genitals and general area. But there's nothing to worry about, really. The exam (I assume it's a simple vaginal exam followed by a smear test?) only takes a few minutes, and you don't feel anything. Kudos to you for taking the initiative to set up an appointment! It'll be fine. :)

[catswym]

I think it's understandable to feel funny about a pelvic exam, especially if you already don't feel comfortable about your genitals and general area. But there's nothing to worry about, really. The exam (I assume it's a simple vaginal exam followed by a smear test?) only takes a few minutes, and you don't feel anything. Kudos to you for taking the initiative to set up an appointment! It'll be fine. :)

i don't know if i agree with what that (bolded part) but i do agree that it really isn't that big of a deal.

the first time is the hardest simply because you aren't used to it and you're embarressed but it gets easier every time. and doctors usually understand that patients may feel uncomfortable.

but, it's also really important to do this, esp if you're sexually active, esp if you don't use protection (not that you don't, but i have no idea).

you'll be fine.

[fadeaway1289]

Its normal to be nervous. It is scary your first time but then you just get used to it and its no big deal. You could let the dr/nurse know in advance that it is your first exam and that you are scared and I am sure they will do what they can to make you feel more comfortable. (I had a nurse hold my hand during my first exam!). I also had issues seeing any kind of male dr when I was younger and always went to females so if you have some insecurities about that make sure you get a female gyno. Now I have no problem with male drs and I had one that was really cool. Its definetly important to go though and its pretty fast . You'll be okay :hug:

[Dirty Martini]

Be sure to take nice, slow, deep breaths. It'll relax your abdominal muscles and make the exam a cinch. :)

[Scorpius]

Well the pain's not a problem, that's for sure heh. Just the nerves.

I spoke with one of the nurses at her office and I'm seeing the doc frist thing tomorrow AM.

Thanks guys! :)

[Cyrillia]

It sounds as though this is something that you've really had to work hard to get over, so all I can say is well done Scorpius! :up:

Cyr.

[Chrysalis]

I think it makes sense to be nervous. I was brought up to be really modest, so letting someone take a look down there with bright lights and latex gloves was really hard for me the first time. It's good you've worked up the nerve to go. Hooray for cervix cancer prevention! It's not so bad, especially if your doc is chatty and talks to you throughout the exam. Also the place I go to has pretty pictures on the ceiling to look at :)

[zoebird]

our genitals are a very private, personal area. who wants a stranger touching that area? even if you know a doctor well, even your best friend, you wouldn't want this person necessarily touching your genitals.

honestly, other than myself, i only want one other person touching my genitals and he's that guy i married.

so, it's normal to feel hesitant about having someone in your most intimate space.

i won't say that it's not related to various issues about being female or about yourself in general--that may be part of it too--but even if it wasn't, the fact that this is a very private part of the body, one that is deeply connected to our sense of self--it's no wonder that it's unnerving to have a near-stranger touching it.

considering you are sexually active, it is important that you get an exam. you will also learn from this appointment what other risk-factors you specifically may face which will help you determine how often you'll need to repeat appointments (low risk women in most developed nations go every 3-6 years; high risk women go every 6 months to 3 years depending upon their risks).

in order to feel more comfortable with the situation, remind yourself that this is something that you are doing for your health and wellbeing, and that this person is not judging you or taking pleasure at your expense. it is simply clinical for them--the same as listening to your heart or lungs.

come up with affirmations that work for you that help you feel calm and confident in going.

good luck!

[Hang~Ten~Honey]

I completely understand the nervousness. I've been going to see gyns since I was 16 (I am 27 now) and it never gets any easier for me. But I have to go in every year or they won't renew my birth control prescription (:rolleyes:). I also go in more frequently because of other issues, so I just have to suck it up and go in... which usually means that I wait until the very last minute to make an appointment and often will make a few of them and cancel before I can actually go.:shy: I've had some good experiences and some bad ones with certain doctors but finding a gyn that you trust and feel comfortable with is important. I've finally found one just last year and it helps with feeling insecure because she is so kind and understanding.

For me, the internal exam hurts a lot and I always bleed, but that's me, and I have pelvic problems. For most women, I think it just feels a little uncomfortable, mostly because they are not aroused so the muscles are tighter. And most doctors are very understanding of any discomfort you are experiencing. My doctor chats with me about random things so I am distracted and she always asks me [if it's ok] before she touches me or does anything, which helps.

If you are feeling nervous about it, just remind yourself that you are doing this for yourself...to take care of yourself. It's especially difficult, I think, for women who have been sexually assulted to allow themselves to be touched and examined and also to allow themselves to take care of their bodies. I've found that when my doctors know about my rape/incest history, they are very understanding and patient with me. And they are professionals who, unfortunately, see patients with abuse history all of the time so they won't be judging you or anything you might fear.

Good luck tomorrow! And like Amy said, remember to take deep breaths and relax your muscles as much as you can.

[veggiesforlife]

i think it is s good thing you are going for a check-up scorpius. i think once a woman becomes sexually active it is important for her to find a doctor she trusts who can help her maintain her overall health, and specifically her reproductive health

here...maybe this story will make you laugh...it always gives me a giggle:


For all those who are a bit nervous or embarrassed at the office. In Melbourne, Fl one of the radio stations paid money ($100-500) for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. This one netted the grand prize.

She said: I was due later that week for an appointment with the gynecologist when early one morning I received a call from his office. I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30 am. I had just packed every one off to school and it was 8:45 already. The trip to his office takes about 35 min. so I didn't have time to spare.

As most women do, I'm sure, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such a visit, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth and gave myself a wash in "that area" in front of the sink, taking extra care to make sure I was presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when he called me in. Knowing the procedure as I'm sure you all do, I hopped on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended I was in Hawaii or some other place a million miles away from here.

I was a little surprised when he said: "My, we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?" But I didn't respond. The appointment was over. I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.

The rest of the day went normally, some shopping, cleaning and evening meal, etc. At 7:30 that evening, my 14-year-old daughter was fixing to go to a school dance when she called down from the bathroom, "Mom, where is my washcloth?"

I called back for her to get another from the cabinet.

She yelled back: "No! I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles on it."


:sunny:

[*AHIMSA*]

I was a little surprised when he said: "My, we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?"[/B]

:brood: :notvegan: :no:

[eggplant]

Funny story!

But in response to the OP, after almost 20 years of going for my yearly exam, it still makes me a little nervous, but it's over pretty quickly and it's worth it knowing that you're healthy. My doctor is very nice and always chit chats with me while she's doing it, and has a good sense of humor, which helps. If you don't like the doctor who does it, feel free to try different ones until you find someone who makes you comfortable. Just think of it as five mildly unpleasant minutes out of your whole year.

[smalleah]

Glitter! :lol:

For a long time I had the "if it's not broken..." attitude, but I couldn't get birth control pills without a girly checkup. So I picked a female doctor (no male gyno for me - eek!) out of my insurance booklet and hoped for the best.
As far as doctors go, I like her. She's professional and friendly. For whatever reason, I like that she's young too (probably 30-ish). I've only been twice and it's been definitely been awkward but, thankfully, quick. She usually talks during the exam which is a little bit more relaxing.
I think waiting around in a gown is almost as bad as the pelvic exam but I have anxiety issues.

[Huckleberry]

That story has got to be an urban legend, I have heard that one several times.

I hate going for a gyno exam but if the doctor is a woman I can stand it. I tried going to a male doctor and it was way to creepy for me.

[Iria]

I've been putting off mine too. My friend's doctor told her she didn't have to have one until she became sexually active and even though I'm pretty sure that's not right, it's making it harder for me to justify going, especially since I don't want to.

The weird thing is that I already have a gynecologist (for breast cysts) and I really like her. She explained everything that she would do and told me to come back in six months for a pelvic exam. I haven't seen her again, and that was two years ago.

[Dirty Martini]

It really is important to go. You may go every year and have nothing wrong - but the one time a pap comes back as abnormal... it seems like you can't go back soon enough to figure out what's wrong. Better safe than sorry!

[*AHIMSA*]

It really is important to go. You may go every year and have nothing wrong - but the one time a pap comes back as abnormal... it seems like you can't go back soon enough to figure out what's wrong. Better safe than sorry!

I agree! I received abnormal pap results from San Diego when I was in New York last summer (and was going to be there for another 4 weeks) and it was frightening.

I had follow up visits, an HPV test and everything came back normal! I guess I am one of the lucky few sexually active adults who don't have HPV. :pibo:

Sometimes there's nothing wrong and a false positive result is given. Other times, whatever issue it was resolves.

[Shajen]

Maybe I'm alone in this...but I have no problems with the exam. I can't say I like it, but then I don't like being weighed or having my lungs examined either (anyone else regularly hyperventilate on that one?). I didn't get one until I was 22 (I hadn't yet had sex but figured it was time to start anyway), but I never had any issues with it (except that the idea of being able to feel one's ovaries from the inside is still kind of weird). To be honest, I think it helps that I don't consider that region as particularly special. Yes, it's intimate and private and all that, but it's also just another working part of my body that needs looking after. Maybe it's because I was a biology major?

At a recent exam at Planned Parenthood the doctor asked if an intern could come in and do a practice examination, because she was training to be a specialist in examinations after rape. So I got my regular exam, then the intern stepped up for a look. "Any lacerations?" the doctor joked, and the intern said, "Nope!" and I said, "I should hope not." Both the doctor and the intern thanked me several times, and I got the impression that the intern wasn't having a lot of luck getting practice because other patients were refusing.

[Scorpius]

She didn't do it. :mad:

But apparently I have IBD. :confused:

What the hell. Someone on a pretty strict boderline-OCD vegan diet for 3 years exhibiting symptoms of IBD?
Actually kind of makes sense when you factor in my father'-side history of lower GI-tract disorders.

Perhaps me getting a ob-gyn exam was just never meant to be! I think I'll have one of the vets at work spay me. Then at least I'll get some opiod anagesics like buprenex out of the deal!

[catswym]

Maybe I'm alone in this...but I have no problems with the exam. I can't say I like it, but then I don't like being weighed or having my lungs examined either (anyone else regularly hyperventilate on that one?). I didn't get one until I was 22 (I hadn't yet had sex but figured it was time to start anyway), but I never had any issues with it (except that the idea of being able to feel one's ovaries from the inside is still kind of weird). To be honest, I think it helps that I don't consider that region as particularly special. Yes, it's intimate and private and all that, but it's also just another working part of my body that needs looking after. Maybe it's because I was a biology major?

At a recent exam at Planned Parenthood the doctor asked if an intern could come in and do a practice examination, because she was training to be a specialist in examinations after rape. So I got my regular exam, then the intern stepped up for a look. "Any lacerations?" the doctor joked, and the intern said, "Nope!" and I said, "I should hope not." Both the doctor and the intern thanked me several times, and I got the impression that the intern wasn't having a lot of luck getting practice because other patients were refusing.

no, i feel the same way now. i was embarressed the first time (i was 16 so...) but now it's no more special than anything else. but then, i'm also a scientist...

[Dirty Martini]

She didn't do it. :mad:

um... you went in specifically for a pelvic exam and she didn't perform one? :stinkeye: Are you sure you actually asked for one?

[rabid_child]

I would go see a gynecologist rather than a PCP for pelvic exams/pap smears.

I wouldn't worry about irritable bowel, especially if it's something that doesn't bother you. Stress can trigger irritable bowel, and it sounds like you've had your share of that.

[Scorpius]

um... you went in specifically for a pelvic exam and she didn't perform one? :stinkeye: Are you sure you actually asked for one?

I think there was some fuzziness as to why I was there in the first place. I wanted a yeast infection checked out, hence the pelvic exam....but when I got there, the infection was cleared up (which I told the medical assistant), but yes another issue cropped up. So she examined my other end instead. :p

Maybe I'll find a Gyno to do one specifically, however just the thought of having to find *another* doctor makes me tired and even more sick.

[cftwo]

In my experience, GYNs do what they need to do much more efficiently and with a greater idea of the comfort of the patient than PCPs. PCPs are perfectly capable, but GYNs are better.