My Dad [isn't supportive of veganism]

[veggieweggie123]

I have been a vegan for a few days now. I was a lacto-ovo vegetarian for 3 years before going vegan. When i told my mom about my decision she was really supportive. Even though she is an omni she is totally supportive of my veganism. She sometimes even cooks me meals. She knows that a vegan diet is very healthy.

My dad is another story. When he found out he was pretty much the classic case of "veganism will make you sickly." He is worried that i will not get enough calcium if i don't eat cheese and all of that other nastiness. I tried to explain to him that there are alot of vegetables that i can get alot of calcium from. I also told him about how i get sick to my stomach when i eat cheese. He thinks that i am lying to him. :-/ He even went as far as saying that veganism is an extreme. He won't listen to anything that i say and he won't look at the vegan lifestyle book that i told him to take a look at.

It made me really sad because he was so supportive when i went vegetarian and now he is just like everyone else out there.
Sorry, i'm just venting.

[rabid_child]

Unfortunately there comes a point in life that you learn that your parents are not going to support all the decisions you make, even if they aren't bad decisions or harmful decisions. It's great if they are supportive, but it doesn't always happen. It sounds like your mom is great, and maybe in time when your dad sees that you're growing and healthy as a vegan he won't worry quite as much. You might also consider taking a multi-vitamin and calcium supplement to make him feel better (from what I've read, teens are often calcium deficient, regardless of whether they're omni/veg/whatever).

[hoodedclawjen]

awww. dads are great sometimes, huh?

he's probably just worried about you. you've got your mum on board, at least. i expect given time he'll learn to be ok with it, especially if you and her handle it well. if you just carry on as normal, he'll hopefully get his head round it- mums and dads discuss things, maybe during a random chat some of her good sense on the subject will float into his earhole and settle there after he's calmed down a bit.

maybe if its not too unsubtle, you could happen to print out some info on vegan nutrition, from a non biased source, and leave it around an area of the house that wouldn't be unusual for you to leave stuff in, or leave your book open on the nutrition section on the kitchen table, in the not too distant future. you'd be suprised how nosey people can be about info when they don't feel its being pushed on them, and at least then he can't get the idea that you're not thinking about what you're doing, doing your research, and going about it sensibly.

[bluesand]

Just ride it out ...he might have not been to supportive when you went lacto in the beginning and you didn't fall of your perch . Like rabid said , take a multi vitamin , point out the daily requirements and then point out what calcium you are getting out of the multi ....it might settle him down

[veggieweggie123]

I've taken a vegetarian multi vitamin for a long time and when i told him that it has calcium in it he was all like "rawrrrr, multi vitamin not have enough!"
I'm just going to ignore him because he is the only one who acting like a little kid about it. My friends, boyfriend, brother, and mom all support me but my dad has to be the odd one out. He can sulk and be a poo head all he wants but i'm not going to change just because he doesnt like it.

[ksfc]

You could ignore it or you could try to deal with it, adult to adult, depending on your relationship and whether you think he's going to be open to any of your information.

Something that I've tried on occasion is to have a printout ready and when attacked for some aspect (not what seem like genuine questions where they'll listen to the answer), I've given them the relevant one and calmly said that this is good information about that aspect of nutrition and that I'd be more than happy to talk about it once they've read it. I wish I could say that it results in converts 100% of the time, but it does usually stop the annoying conversation. :-) Those who take the time to read it may or may not end up with my viewpoint but at least they've been exposed to the fact that there are defensible and scientific reasons for it.

I tend to use them from Dr McDougall's site http://www.drmcdougall.com/medical.html and PCRM http://www.pcrm.org and have them for calcium, osteoporosis, cancer, etc.

Who knows, maybe your dad will bluster at the time but read it later, in private and let a little of the information reassure him?

[bramble]

I've taken a vegetarian multi vitamin for a long time and when i told him that it has calcium in it he was all like "rawrrrr, multi vitamin not have enough!"
I'm just going to ignore him because he is the only one who acting like a little kid about it. My friends, boyfriend, brother, and mom all support me but my dad has to be the odd one out. He can sulk and be a poo head all he wants but i'm not going to change just because he doesnt like it.

not everything you ever do is going to please your parents (some more than others). it's going to be like that for all your life. the best you can do is show your dad that what you're doing doesn't harm your health. since you have one supportive parent, just accept that, and do your best to avoid "getting into it" with your dad for now (you need to choose your battles). in time he will either accept your choice, or he won't. the only control you have here is your own attitude, not his.

i suggest giving him the respect you want him to give you and see how it goes. good luck!

[second_nature]

I'll agree with bramble. He'll see that your health isn't harmed and maybe he won't worry so much. Just try not to fight about it. It's great that your mother is supportive! Most of my family is supportive (the rest is indifferent which is ok too I guess), but like your dad, they worry...and I'm 800 miles away from them! Mom was really worried about calcium at first, but I would point out to her the foods I ate that I got my calcium from. With my aunt, it was protein she was worried about :rolleyes: but I kept pointing out to her when I ate protein. Eventually, they stopped worrying, or at least stop telling me about it. Regardless, I know they are just worried and meant well, which may be the case with your dad.

Good luck!

[Seusomon]

If you think he'd be receptive to reading a book (or at least dipping into it), you could get "Becoming Vegan" by Davis and Melina. The authors are registered dieticians, and are obviously very well informed about the technical aspects of nutrition. They also acknowledge areas where vegans need to be careful - it comes across as very objective.

I think most people are just raised with the idea that meat and dairy are essential for human nutrition, and it can be upsetting when a family member goes against that conventional wisdom. From what you said, it sounds like would listen and learn if given some information from sources he considers credible. I think he'll come around in time.

[Tom]

Veggieweggie, parents can be difficult. My Dad wasn't a hunter, but he did tease me about my dislike of hunting when I was rather small. Still, I know he loved me and my sisters.

I don't know your situation, but veganism is more difficult (or, as your Dad put it, "extreme") than vegetarianism. I'm not saying you cannot or should not do it- calcium and vitamin B-12 are easily had from supplements, and I don't have to inform you about what chickens and cows usually go through so that people can have eggs or milk.

But maybe your father is genuinely concerned about your welfare. In that case, he's not being a "poo head"; you mention that he had no problem with your going vegetarian 3 years ago. Did he have any reason to think that the vegan resources you asked him to read might not be reliable?

More than 10 years ago, it was thought that certain seaweeds contained vitamin B-12. A vegan family which had relied on these sea vegetables for B-12 had at least one of their children pass away from a deficiency of this vitamin. Such a situation is very rare, but so horrible that I can see why any parent might worry about it.

If you present your father with solid, mainstream, respectable sources supporting your veganism, but he still digs in his heels and won't budge... I don't suppose there will be much you can do to change the situation.

[nilrecurring]

Tell him to watch this:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2348910096409126100

[nilrecurring]

Hehe, maybe I was a little presumptuous to take a gunz-a-blazin approach, but at the same time you're educating him make sure you're letting him know that you're educating yourself well, and that you can plan meals that are healthy. Even better, cook something that he can't resist! That seems to get the message across.

[veggieweggie123]

Thanks for the advice, everyone!

I haven't seen my dad for a while after that nice chat with him because he is a long ditance truck driver. We'll see what he's like when he comes back. If he is still being unaccepting then i will do something about the problem.

Thanks, again! :hi:

[felishi]

Well Veganism is an extreme. I don't think you can get any healthier or any further than veganism. It's like the opposite of a person who just eats strictly meat and no vegetables! Extreme carnivore-ism. My parents support my vegetarianism, but I really doubt they would be ok with veganism.
(Not saying I have anything against veganism. I think it's great)

But everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Just ignore your dad. My dad asks me all the time why I would want to go vegetarian when I don't need to because I'm thin, but eh. I think he just likes to make a fuss just for the fun of it.