Is a little support so much to ask for?

[Lyric]

At the young age of 15 I was 200lbs, (at 5'3, so you can imagine...). By the time I turned 17, I was 165lbs, and I still am. I'm turning 18 in about five months, and I beg the question: When Will I get any kind of support from my friends, and extended family? Since day one my friends have all gotten irritated that I was turning shallow, or changing, and my family keeps pushing that I was just big boned, and might as well stay fat. I won't even get into what they would say if they knew I was gay.

Is Support something that comes eventually the more you suceed, and the more goals you make, or is it something that if it isn't there right away, its more going to be.

[Earthling]

It sounds like either:

1. They're jealous - them saying you'll get "shallow" makes me think this. Maybe they're feeling insecure about themsleves after seeing how you've made such a positive change, which most people are too scared to do, makes them confront that. Maybe their insecurities make them scared you will start judging them.

2. They're concerned about you - the "big boned, stay fat" comments suggest that. They might be trying to make you feel better about your weight to make you think you don't have to change to look great.

It's probably a mixture of both, depending on the person. You can't really stop people being jealous because it's their own insecurities that cause those feelings, it's nothing you can change. As for the concern, have you emphasized how great and healthy you feel now (assuming you feel healthier)? Just show them that losing weight is something you've done for yourself, not because you think you need to for other people.

For what it's worth I think you've done amazingly well. My own "ideal weight" according to Weight Watchers isn't at all far off from your current weight and I'd love to be your size. It takes real commitment, self-discipline and strength of mind to achieve what you have. Support is great and you really do deserve it, but think about how much you've done without it!

[cloudcovering]

They probably don't want you to become skinny because of some twisted desire in their own minds. Seeing you fatter than they are makes them happier and for some strange reason they may try to hinder your weight loss attempts. once you lose weight they may be jealous in an unkind way. It sounds far-fetched, but i've definitely see it happen. :/

[asp3]

Congratulations on your initial weight loss and maintaining that weight!!!!

Unfortunately your friends and family may never support you in your efforts to be the way you want to be. You'll probably meet new people who share similar goals to yours who will be supportive. Some of them will probably become friends, so at least some of your friends will be supportive.

As far as your family goes let them know that doing what you're doing makes you happy. They'll either accept that or they won't. Hopefully they'll eventually accept that you are choosing the right path for yourself. Even if you don't get support, acceptance can be very nice too.

[arcane]

Some people just don't like change. Some people just can't support others. Even people we love. If you aren't getting it in real life, there are popular support groups online, and even in real life. It can be very discouraging when people you love and trust don't support you. I found saying, when people tell me I look fine and don't need to loose, "I understand that you are trying to help, but I am not comfortable at this weight and I would like your support and understanding while I try to get healthy and become comfortable in my own skin." That's what I say everytime. Eventually people will stop.

[vegstrength]

People will always have negative things to say. It is a fact of life.

I bet if you paid attention to it, you would realize that your only very sensitive to the things you're insecure about.

For example, if someone were to tell me I'm stupid, I would just smirk and roll my eyes because I know that I'm smart and I would automatically know that person was incorrect. But if they said my butt was getting big, I would automatically get angry, go on defense mode or be hurt because it's what I'm sensitive about.

Since you can't change people, you can only change yourself. You have to learn to be okay without people's approval of you. When they see that they can no longer push your buttons, they will lay off.

[lefty2026]

You're lucky you don't have my butt, I hear about how big it is all the time... but, well it is, so what can I say?

Congrats on getting in shape. You'll be 18 soon and then you don't have to worry what your family thinks of your shape or your sexuality.

[Lucious]

Don't let your family get you down. You know what's best for you, and if you feel the need to shed some unneeded pounds, then go for it. Families aren't always as understanding as we want them to be. But you're almost 18, and they should understand that as an adult, you can make your own decisions, and they should respect them.

[Byzantea]

Excelling at anything and changing your life for the better always makes people around you uncomfortable. Especially if you succeed.