Is this insane?

[rainbowmoon]

OK, so today I came home from a long day of cleaning houses, and I was very, very hungry. Demolish everything vegan in sight hungry...and I wondered why.
So I thought maybe- just maybe- I had burned a lot of calories cleaning house. I went to fitday and calculated how many calories I burned in 6.5 hours of cleaning, and it said 916...if you add that to my run, I burned 1200 calories in exercise today. Does this sound like crazy talk? Is it wrong, or is it time for me to make myself a big SoyDream flurry? (;), I wouldn't dare!)
lovenlight!
linz

[rainbowmoon]

It also said that I burn 600 in the pool for 2 hours..."leisurely swimming"

[dk_art]

"It also said that I burn 600 in the pool for 2 hours..."leisurely swimming"

-----------------

All of this measn that your next swim should be done in a huge vat of soy delicious ;-)

[Apple]

The rare, but occasional days, that I burn an excessive amount of calories, I always notice the weight lost, so I assume that it is correct. Thus, I think it is probably accurate, and you should go have your Soy Dream flurry. What exactly is a flurry anyways?

[punkmommy]

Come on girl- give yourself a break! Stop counting those calories burned-enjoy your food!

[freemouse]

Linz, remember, Eat to Live. :)

[epski]

I need to start exercising again...

[1vegan]

I heard that having sex burns the most calories......

[dvmarie]

Not the way my ex did it.....

[rainbowmoon]

*LOL*
FLurry- The same exact thing as a blizzard from Dairy Queen, only where I grew up the local ice cream shop called them flurries....Once, when I was craving one of those and had first gone vegan, I took a container of SoyDream and an ACB Cookie and mixed them together in a blender-- it was like a 1000 calorie snack, but it tasted darn good.
I understand why I was so hungry yesterday, but I am a little confused...if I require 1400 calories to stay alive, and burned 1200, thats 2600, not even counting any calories I burned showering, eating, cooking, ect.ect.--- I ate about 1700 calories yesterday. Dude, I should weigh like 90 pounds, as most days I have a large calculated deficeit, from cleaning, being in the pool, and exercise......Damnit.
lovenlight,
linz

[Kitzy]

i found this calculator that said i burn 650kcal an hour at my usual cycling pace. not bad i say!

[1vegan]

What is your usual cycling pace ?

Flat road or slope ?

[Kitzy]

usual pace is 16-18mph depending on wind and how far i cycled the day before. mixture of flat and hills. i'm now doing alternate days of >40 miles and <30 cos otherwise i keep doing 40-60mile days and my calves shout at me the next day

[Kitzy]

yesterday i managed 10miles in 31mins (av 19.2mph). must've got a few funny looks as i lay, expiring by the roadside ;). i'm doing a timetrial tuesday :D

[LadyFaile]

one of our mountain biking friends got a new road bike for his birthday, so he's biking to our house on saturday morning. he lives about an hour and a half drive away, i think they said it's about 180 KM

:eek:

[LadyFaile]

oh umm, there was a topic once upon a time, woops :o

if you're hungry EAT! after burning that much it's not surprising that you're so hungry. just try to go for something a little more healthy maybe. when i'm really hungry and need some calories i usually go for a veggie burger with fried onions and mushrooms on whole wheat bread, with various raw veggies on the side. it's the only thing that really fills me up sometimes.
leads back to my omni days i guess, when i used to stop at McDeath's on my home from work and grab a burger because i was so starved i couldn't wait long enough to cook something.

[rainbowmoon]

LOL, I don't eat SoyDream flurries. Its more like bananas and Corn Flakes.....

[Kreeli]

Originally posted by rainbowmoon
Dude, I should weigh like 90 pounds, as most days I have a large calculated deficeit, from cleaning, being in the pool, and exercise......Damnit.
lovenlight,
linz

this was the whole point of my "what a fat grrl eats and does diary thread". despite popular belief, calorie intake and output do not directly correlate to weight or body size. my calories consistently stay at or below 2000 per day, which, according to most of the calculators i've used, means i should be dropping 2-5 pounds a week with the amount of activity i get...but i'm the same size i've been since i was 20 years old....and that size is fat! :D

[rainbowmoon]

Kreeli- If only I could accept myself as you do. My size really doesn't and shouldn't matter- but for some reason, it matters so much to me. When I was larger, I was profoundly UNHEALHY- I binge ate, overate the wrong foods, and never, ever exercised. I don't want to become that at all, ever again, and for some reason, I just really want to be thin. Its incredibly frustrating; I am not really fat, but I am still....I dunno....chubby? and I don't understand why.
I guess its time to work on accepting myself and accepting the things I can't change. I still want to work out hard and take good care of myself (eat properly) but I wish I could look in the mirror and be satisfied with what I see.
lovenlight,
linz

[bethanie]

Hey gloom and darkness.

I don't know what to say accept you've gone over to the darkside again. Remember what I said about self acceptance being an every day battle, and not an on the wagon, off the wagon affair? Btw, you are currently 'off the wagon.'

You really remind me of a bad alcoholic (I've lived with several) in this self acceptance thing. You try really hard to accept yourself, eat healthy and exercise for a few days...and then, as if you just can't stay away from the self-loathing, you start kicking yourself in the ass because you are just you and not some goddess.

This is exactly why I suggested you try alateen. You have learned behaviors I think from your family that are VERY unhealthy, and if you're not careful, you're going to carry them right into your adult life (I know this because I did this). It isn't your body that NEEDS to change in my opinion, it's your behavior towards yourself.

love ya,
B

[rainbowmoon]

Yeah....ok. So I see that I am "on the wagon, off the wagon" so to speak. I have noticed that myself, that I will feel ok about myself and do well for awhile, and then one day, something happens and I wind up on the Eat to Live forum, crying and bitching.....
How do I stay away from the self loathing and make it stop? I don't WANT to dislike myself, but often I see so much that is wrong with myself. And you are right, I have learned bad behaviors from my family. Growing up my mother was hardly ever home and I spent all my time with my Dad, who is and was an alcoholic. He was downright mean to me a lot of the time, and constantly, constantly, on my case. I remember times where I would be coughing and he would yell at me because he couldn't stand hearing me cough. He swore and yelled all the time, and I felt like I was always walking on eggshells, constantly anxious. He called me "the big hauler". THE BIG HAULER!! You don't call a chubby girl the big hauler....(its kind of funny, but then, it isn't).
In retrospect, he is apologetic, and he IS better than he used to be- less tempermental, although he is still an alcholic, still touchy and yelly sometimes. My Mother's body image- not just my mother, but that whole side of her family's body image- has also effected me negatively. I am aware of all this but I feel somewhat powerless to change the mark it has left on me.
I swear I am trying. I know it may not sound like I am, but I try as hard as I can to cultivate a sense of self worth and to see that....weighing 105 pounds, like my Mother, isn't that important. Furthermore, that is doesn't make your life fall into place, and it doesn't make you feel any better. Still, the low self esteem, the body image issues, they creep up on me from time to time. And I guess I feel like the only thing I can do is continue to do well for awhile and strike out with the hopes that eventually, one time, it will stick.
About the alateen groups, I can't find them. I could go see a therapist again and really, I know I should, but I sometimes feel like its a waste of time and money (well, insurance money) because I am not a bad kid- also why my parents don't see much of a need. I don't drink a lot or smoke pot or cuss people out or sleep with every guy on the block. So its like *oh, you're wonderful, you don't need any therapy*.
Are you as confused as I am now? *lol*
until next time!
lovenlight,
linz

[bethanie]

Linz, it seems to me like you need some help with this.

There seems to be a stigma, even on this board sometimes about needing some help with issues. I am going to say this again. Going to therapy at 33 years old is the best thing I ever did. After I started I told my X, "I should have had therapy ten years ago." I also went to Alanon. therapy isn't free but Alanon is. They address the VERY ISSUES you are talking about. Being raised as you have, even though you strike me as a really wonderful, intelligent person, you have behavior issues that are a direct result of having grown up with an alcoholic. Until you learn other behaviors, you will be off the wagon/on the wagon. Alanon probably helped me more than any other experience because I realized I wasn't alone and though I had been raised with crazy, I wasn't myself insane. When you grow up with an alcoholic, you grow up with someone who probably makes promises to do better/be better...and then never keeps them. So you've grown up with the example of not having to keep promises to yourself. You've grown up with the example of two people who never practiced 'self care.' And who were always giving into their compulsions and self destructive behavior.

I've only suggested alanon to a couple of people I've known. you and my aunt actually. I got the same response from her as I got from you the first time I suggested it. A sort of I can handle this myself. I think there is strength in being able to sort out your own stuff. But I also think there is GREAT strength in admitting where and when you need help. To me it's clear you are just repeating the same patterns over and over. And that until you unlearn these patterns that are ingrained in you, you'll keep repeating them. On the wagon off the wagon is A HUGE symptom that alcoholics, and folks who grew up with them, exhibit. And it happens because commiting to yourself really...is a big scarey prospect. It means admitting you are actually worth the effort of making your life a better place and a sane place. That was a huge thing for me to admit. I still have issues with thinking that secretly, "I'm just not good enough, and I just don't matter." It may seem that what you're doing now is self care...dieting, exercising yourself silly, etc. But really you are avoiding the bigger issues of life. What do you want? What kind of things make you happy? This diet thing takes up a lot of time and gets you where? A guy?

I thought that to. But I've got to tell you...a guy isn't the answer either ;). A guy is his own set of problems. He won't fix your life.

What I learned in Alanon and therapy was to build something real in my life, something that couldn't be bowled over by the whims of another person. A life that was worth living, that I couldn't simply abandon because a guy came along and got me really excited. That is what I am busy doing. There are times I wish a guy would come a long and 'fix thing's' or make things better. But I am pretty good now at realizing that "Oh, I'm the one who has to make things better for me." And oh..."That's right. I am worth the effort, and I am the reason I'm taking care of myself. And I (and my daughter) deserve a GREAT life."--these hopes. These if I'm thin I'll be better, or if I find the right guy my life will be different...they're lies we tell ourselves. The real truth is right now today you have the power within you to make your own life a great place to be.

Anyway...please don't delay. You recognize you have a problem here. Find a group and start going. I LOVED alanon...they went around in a circle and EVERYONE got a chance to talk about...guess what...themselves! You could babble on at length or you could say a few words, and everyone was kind, and funny because we all recognized the same things in ourselves. It's worth it..please go.

B

[bethanie]

Try Alanon....let me know where you live, I'll see if I can research groups in your area.

[bethanie]

http://www.al-anon.org/alalist_usa.html
http://www.al-anon.org/

The listing I checked out...they give you links for information numbers in your area.

[Coney]

I made a conscious decision a few weeks ago to eat a lot more raw foods, with it being summer and all, and I found out that celery actually eats up calories. I had heard that before, but taking celery to work for a snack really made me shakey-starving all day. I did a diet calculator thing and realized I was only eating 1100 calories a day, and the celery was eating up some of those, leaving me real hungry.

I stopped eating celery and started eating apples instead and don't get the shakey-starving thing anymore. It's all about what you combine, too, that'll keep you from going hungry. Proteins/fruits or proteins/veggies will usually do the job.