Roommate Issues

[barefootchick]

I hope I posted this topic in the right spot!

I live in a townhouse with three roommates. One of my roommates has three cats (two female and one male). That's fine. I love having the cats around. Well, I don't like having them in my room because I never know what they're up to in my closet.

The problem is that none of the cats are fixed. The male cat is still a kitten; he's about five months old. All of the cats are indoor/outdoor animals. One of the cats is probably pregnant.

I have a big problem with the cats not being fixed.
1. The male cat could spray all over the place as he gets older.
2. We don't need any more cats in the house.

I don't understand why my roommate doesn't get her cats fixed. I've mentioned it to her and so have the other roommates. I know this roommate makes twice as much as I do, so it's not like she can't afford to have the cats fixed.

How do I convince her that getting the cats fixed is the best solution for everyone?

Also, another issue.

We had a houseguest (M) stay over for over two weeks. He was friends with one roommate (B) during high school. This guy didn't have any other place to go, so he stayed with us for a while. Well, a while turned into a couple of weeks. During that time, he was crashing in the living room (for lack of a guest room) and getting on everyone's nerves. Everyone was nice to him and then he started pissing people off by being obnoxious, arrogant, judgemental, a free-loader, and he stole from grocery stores. He also invited random people to the house that he met on the internet, including (we found out later) a convicted criminal. One roommate (L) became friendly with him during this time. She's really generous and would give people the clothes off her back if it came down to it. After everything the guy pulled, I asked her if she would still help the guy out and she said yes.

This houseguest finally just got to be too much and we kicked him out. Yesterday, I was upstairs trying to rest from having a bad cold. I heard noise downstairs and assumed it was one roommate (B) because she had just called me to see if I needed anything and said she would be home soon. I found out later that L was home and she was hanging out with M. B and N (boyfriend and third roommate) came home and found M in the house. B and N got extremely pissed off that M was even in the house. L got mad (she's told me that her friends don't feel welcome in the house) and stormed off.

I think my question is: Is it wrong to not want M in the house at all after the crap he's pulled even though L wants him there because he's down on his luck?

[Odalys]

one thing is for him to be down on luck and you guys help him, another thing is for him to be inconsiderate and rude. He seems like he doesn't appreciate everything you guys are doing for him... and if he doesn't appreciate it, then he definitely doesn't deserve it.
There's nothing wrong in expecting house guest to behave in an appropriate and respectful manner.
As for the cats, I don't know what you can do, I'm not that experience with animals. It seems she doesn't want to get them fixed. Have another talk with her and tell her your concerns, maybe if some of your other roomates feel the same she'll feel pressured to do something.

[Irizary]

As for the cats: if you are living in the house with them, you are partly responsible for what happens to them too - that they don't "belong" to you is not an exemption from moral responsibility to them - the same way as if young children in your house were being neglected. I would say to the roommate, "Look, if you're not going to get these cats fixed, I'm going to have to. I'm angry about it, I'm angry at you for not doing it, but something needs to be done, and if you don't do it, then I will need to." Especially the preganant female, because there's a chance she can have an abortion at the same time as spaying.

I understand this is really difficult socially, and you'd prefer not to have a potential blow-out, and you don't want to pay for it. It just has to be done, and if no one else will do it, then I think you need to step up and do it. Soon - like talk to her or make an appointment today. Because those extra cats will become part of the problem of millions of unwanted animals that someone else will need to clean up (i.e. kill). I would resent it terribly, but I would take care of it like this. If she can't manage to do it, or prevents you from doing it, it would be a deal-breaker in any kind of a relationship with her too.

Ed: I'm not saying this to be harsh to you. This is how I think about it and how I think it should be handled. Unfortunately sometimes more responsible people need to step in and pick up the messes of irresponsible people, even though it's difficult and not "fair."

[MRSSHF]

Re. the cats, I agree with Irizary. For one thing, if the cats don't get fixed, you'll end up with an unsanitary number of cats, or the kittens will end up in a shelter or someplace worse.

I would tell your roommate that she has one week to get the cats fixed, and if she doesn't do it, you will.