mature way to get the creep off of me

[Trueveggie14]

I work with all men. This is fine, I'm fairly used to it. Except I just started a new job in June and of the 7 guys I work with there is one creepy guy. He is the creepy guy for many reasons.

1) during a meeting he grabbed a spider from it's descent on it's web and ate it.

2) he stares at me for long periods and then says "Thank You". (As if, I just got him off :spew: )

3) he is in his late thirties and still doesn't have a place of his own.

4) he is in his late thirties and thinks it is acceptable to talk about getting boners to all of his co-workers (including me) :no:

etc.. etc.. etc...

I really don't need to or want to go on with the list of why this guy is a creep. Here's the thing, no matter how many times I have said "No" to him or how many times I've given the "you disgust me" look. He won't leave me alone. He keeps trying to prod into my personal life and make conversation.

Now on a professional level, if he asks something about the job, I will answer politely and professionally. Otherwise all bets have been off and I must say I've been quite rude to him, since he doesn't seem to get that NO means NO.

Honestly, I need some mature (this has worked for me) type of responses and ways to get this creep away from me. It physically disgusts me to have to see him at all during the day. I usually end up leaving the job fairly angry at the fact that I do have to deal with him and he also can't be trusted on the job. He slacks on his work. I'm busting my butt, getting as much done with utmost quality in the 8 or 9 hour day. Meanwhile he stops working about 40 minutes before the end of the day. He picks up the closing / security checklist (which is supposed to be done -- after the workday by the last person) and feigns doing that. In reality the checklist only takes 5 minutes and on numerous occasions I've gone behind his "done" checklist and found doors unlocked, nitrogen bottles open / leaking gas. He really gets under my skin. I don't want to have to feel this way everyday.

I've tried the "I don't talk about my personal life with people at work" comment.

I've tried the "why do you want to know...?" comment.

I've tried the ignore him till he goes away attitude.

I've tried the "Fine" him to death answer. Where you just say fine no matter what was asked, because it is none of their business.

I've made the comment that "the work day is not over and you should be doing work."

Please help me. I know my answers, attitude and outlook are clouded because of how angry, disgusted and upset he makes me. Have any of you dealt with removing "The Creepy Person" from your atmosphere?

When he is not at work, things are great. I accomplish more. I feel free, happy and industrious. When he is there, I am always looking over my shoulder trying to make sure he is not reading my emails, sabbotaging my work, trying to see my password, trying to see my breasts, etc...

:confused: :dizzy: :help:

[MZCsmpsns]

Sorry, I have no mature answer... I'd smack him, tell him to *bleep* off and/or kick him in the nuts....
However, you could report him to someone in a higher position, which in this case I think is necessary.

[~Wonder]

#2's enough to get him for sexual harassment. Nothing works better at getting someone to go away than fear of a lawsuit. Complain to your boss and if that fails, file a police report. Or pepper spray him.
~Wonder :ymca:

[Elena99]

Report him. And EW at eating spiders.

[purrpelle]

i think that you need to tell him to knock it off or else you are going to report him. then when he harrasses you or slacks off, report him.

oh, and document every incident, date and time and witnesses.

[IamJen]

Ditto to purrpelle's suggestion, and agreed with Wonder that you have ground for a sexual harassment complaint. :yes:

If all else fails, I'd bet there are some VBers who'd be happy to have a talk with Creepy Creepwell. :)

[purrpelle]

if push comes to shove, it's good to know what coworkers were witnesses. often people don't want to get involved (sad really) and if you know who was there you can challange them to report what they heard/saw..."are you saying Bob, that even though on sept. 17th at 10 you were standing next to me and Creepy Mcreeperson and you didn't hear that he told me ********?"

and as always, read The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. there is a checklist in there to help evaluate whether this guy can be a threat or not.

[Scythe]

I find that telling people in a serious way how retarded you think they are and exactly where you'd like them to go tends to shut them up.

Next comes physical force (preferably unexpected and painful).

[codemonkey]

Report the guy to management. Don't threaten. Just do it.

[Ayrlin]

I would talk to managment, baring him having some sort of mental illness he should not be acting that way.

[Skylark]

When he asks you about something private or insists on telling you something you don't want to hear, tell him, "I do not wish to discuss this with you—ever."

I had something similar though not as extreme happen to me at a former workplace, and it was suggested that telling someone "No" and "Go away" may not communicate the same thing as "I do not wish to discuss this with you ever."

[SeaSiren]

i think that you need to tell him to knock it off or else you are going to report him. then when he harrasses you or slacks off, report him.

oh, and document every incident, date and time and witnesses.
:yes: I concur

[Thalia]

When he asks you about something private or insists on telling you something you don't want to hear, tell him, "I do not wish to discuss this with you—ever."

I had something similar though not as extreme happen to me at a former workplace, and it was suggested that telling someone "No" and "Go away" may not communicate the same thing as "I do not wish to discuss this with you ever."I think that's a good point. Sometimes people say stuff in a way that can be seen as playfulness, "oh stop!"

What needs to be said is something that can in no way be misintepreted, such as, "this is inappropriate for the workplace, conversation of this nature around me will stop-- one way or another. Consider this your last warning from me." I would expect the person to say something stupid as a way to save face. But that's par for the course. Know once he's been warned, you can go to the boss next time.

I think we all have a responsibility to respond proactively to this sort of thing so that others don't suffer as well. There may have been other people who complained but who weren't believed, or whatever. One more person puts more pressure on the boss or company, or in the case that someone feels so uncomfortable that they quit and sue.

[nigel]

Document everything.

[eggplant]

I
2) he stares at me for long periods and then says "Thank You". (As if, I just got him off :spew: )

4) he is in his late thirties and thinks it is acceptable to talk about getting boners to all of his co-workers (including me) :no:

These two fall under sexual harassment because he's creating a hostile work environment. As others have said, document every incident, and if others are present during these incidents, ask them to document it too or to sign your documentation. Complain to management and be prepared to support you complaint with documentation. You have every right to feel comfortable at work and this guy is robbing you of that right.

[Ophelia]

if there are other guys at work you trust, talk to a few of them too- make sure you have someone else on your side who can vouch for you and step in if needed. dont hesitate to report the guy- and if he won't get off your case, try to arrange for his superior to observe his behaviour for a bit. what i am trying to get out is to make sure that it isnt just you against him- that someone else can stand up as a witness for you.
Wonder has a point- you can always tell him out and out that you take what he does as sexual harassment and if he doesnt stop he will be hearing from your lawyer. technically for harassment it needs to be documented that you expressed the attention as unwanted and the offending party ignored your wishes to be left alone.

[Dirty Martini]

Tell his boss. Period.

Tell
His
Boss

And then ask that his boss talk to him about it, as it is a form of harassment.

and if that doesn't happen go to HR. And make sure that his boss knows you're going to HR, and tell HR that his boss didn't do anything about it.

(btw, the fact that he's never had a place of his own should never enter the conversation)

[Mskedi]

Yep. All the advice is good. Tell his supervisor (in writing) and document everything. If the behavior continues, keep documenting everything and sending it to your supervisor. His behavior is unacceptable.

[Linda7852]

I agree with most people here.

Report him to the management.
If they're not doing anything, pepper-spray this creep's face, file a police report for sexual harrassment.

If it still continues, sue him, AND the management.

[purrpelle]

Tell his boss. Period.

Tell
His
Boss

And then ask that his boss talk to him about it, as it is a form of harassment.

and if that doesn't happen go to HR. And make sure that his boss knows you're going to HR, and tell HR that his boss didn't do anything about it.

(btw, the fact that he's never had a place of his own should never enter the conversation)

that's good advice. make sure you keep all personal judgements out of any report you make and anything you say.

[bstutzma]

Agreed. All that matters is that he is creating a hostile work environment for you through his sexual harassment. Tell his boss, and make sure that when you go to him, bring a list of times/dates this has happened, including times when you asked him to stop.

[animallover7249]

report him

[livethroughthis]

The maturest answer I can think of is telling your boss about it.

That spider thing is sick and really messed up...

[RunsWithFoxes]

When he is not at work, things are great. I accomplish more. I feel free, happy and industrious. When he is there, I am always looking over my shoulder trying to make sure he is not reading my emails, sabbotaging my work, trying to see my password, trying to see my breasts, etc...

Go ahead and show him your breasts. Maybe he'll drop dead in shock.

Um, ok, forget that.

You may have to report him. The problem is that in corporate America today, the scumbag is more likely to be promoted than fired. The exceptionally low quality of the people in the highest echelons never ceases to amaze me.

Good luck with it! :hi:

[rabid_child]

It's sexual harrassment. If your/his boss doesn't do anything about it, s/he can also get in trouble. There's no reason for YOU to deal with it, make your higher ups. It's their job.