Relationships with omnis?

[Henderson's]

Background to this post:

A close family member, who is also veggie, is in a relationship with an omni. The thing that surprised me, is that despite us having the same upbringing, our attitudes to the issue are quite different. Personally, I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t a veggie. This is because rightly or wrongly, I have certain views about meat eaters that would make the relationship unworkable. From her perspective though, he likes her being veggie and doesn’t want to change her. Added to this he meets almost all of her other criteria for a suitable partner. When we discussed it she said that ideally he would be veggie but she was prepared to live with him not being veggie due to his other qualities. She also added that I was severely limiting my chances by only seeking out veggies. In a way she is right, as just because someone is veggie doesn’t guarantee that they are a suitable partner. However, it is still a standard I am not prepared to drop. Yes compromises are likely to be made at some point but to me, vegetarianism is not one of them. Thus, I am interested in feedback on the following:
Have you been in a relationship with an omni and is it workable?
Like me, is veg*anism a fundamental aspect of a perspective partner?
Could you be in a relationship with someone who was perfect in every way other than their diet?

I realise that these are loaded with my own attitudes and they don’t have to be answered, I’d just like to know peoples’ opinions on the matter as another perspective is sometimes helpful.

Also, I am very pleased for her that she has met someone who is having a positive impact on her life.

[Michael]

It really doesn't matter much to me as long as they're respectful.

[kpickell]

Have you been in a relationship with an omni and is it workable?
Like me, is veg*anism a fundamental aspect of a perspective partner?
Could you be in a relationship with someone who was perfect in every way other than their diet?
Yes, No, Sure. But they must love dogs. :p

[IdealisticGirl]

I can live with a partner being omni as long as they are respectful of my choice; meaning they don't question my decision, aren't dismissive of it & don't make light of it or mock me about it for any reason.

[Henderson's]

Thanks for the responses. I must admit that i am the only person i know who thinks like this. My friends were suprised when i told them but knowing how i feel, have a understanding of it now. The usual scenario ( i may be wrong) is that women who are veggie will date none veggies. I know of one guy who converted his now wife to vegetariansim and the only other veggie guy i know of (self excluded), is married with kids but don't know him well enough to ask about his wife. Thus i don't know if veg men are more or less likely to date not veggies.

[jeezycreezy]

It's whatever you're comfortable with.

I'd want a 100% vegan partner. My wife is vegetarian. What do you do?

This thread might be of interest to you:

Question for those with omni partners (http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=58923)

Cheers!
TJ

[Tesseract]

Could you be in a relationship with someone who was perfect in every way other than their diet?
I AM in a relationship with someone who's not veggie. I figure you either love someone even with all their faults and shortcomings, or you don't. He's very respectful and supportive, and has greatly reduced his meat intake.

The caveat is, I was with him for 10 years before I went veg, and I wasn't prepared to end a 10-year relationship over it. I was just grateful he was supportive and understanding and willing to work with it.

But there are some people here who say they would not date a meater.

[sunshinegal]

I am in a relationship with an omni and I always swore up and down before this relationship that I couldn't be with a meat eater. Well, guess what? Almost two years in and I wouldn't trade him for any veggie eater. He supports me fully and eats anything veggie that I make and understands why I eat the way I eat. He thinks it is great and I think it is great that he will eat anything I make!

I usually try to cook 90% of the time so he is eating mostly veggie foods cause I worry about his health and the hormones that he is ingesting when he eats this way. I have plans on eating natural and healthy and living as long as I can, I want him to be the same.

[Bonoluvr]

I have been married to an omni for 19 years, so yes it can work :)
but i guess the key is respect for one anothers choices.

[janie]

Have you been in a relationship with an omni and is it workable?
Yes and yes. My fiance and I were both omni, but then I went vegetarian. He stayed omni for a few months, but then went veggie around the time that I became vegan. Cooking was a challenge when he was still eating meat, but it was workable. Everyone takes their own time on the path, and I understood that. He is working his way there. :)


Like me, is veg*anism a fundamental aspect of a perspective partner?
YES. They need to respect all life, just as I do. It is important to me that someone cares about animals and demonstrates that compassion. I couldn't even picture myself with a vegan if they weren't "doing it for the animals."

*waits for the gasp from the audience*


Could you be in a relationship with someone who was perfect in every way other than their diet?
No. (If your question means, would you be with someone if they were awesome in every way except they weren't vegan or not at least transitioning to a vegan diet.) I wouldn't use the word "perfect," though.

[CaptainPlanet]

I've never dated a veggie. I would never date an omni who was rude to me about my eating choices, and I've used my eating habits as a test to see if I want to be interested in specific people or not. The nice ones always seem to be supportive of it.

[MZCsmpsns]

I have no prob being in a relationship w/an omni... I haven't lived w/someone that I was dating... but my dad's an omni and I'm living w/him right now, my dad is super respectable though, he doesn't cook meat/eggs/etc.. in certain pans, the ones he does cook in HE washes so I don't have to, he tries my vegan stuff, and even likes many dishes, and sometimes prepairs them himself. He's also become a pro lable reader. Yeah, i've got a great dad... anyway, my bf is totally a hardcore omni, who will be trying vegan stuff, but I don't think I could ever convert him... he's also into hunting-which is a huge turn off to say the least, that'd be a totally different thread right there so I won't get into my thoughts on that... anyway, i'd of course prefer a veg partner, but oh well, that's not gonna happen. For me personally, being in a relationship w/an omni is totally workable... as long as they respect me and my decisions than i'm fine w/it.

[Brandon]

Having been lucky enough to be with a couple of veg*n ladies, I definitely prefer that whomever I'm with is a veg*n. Vegan is better, but I have no problem whatsoever with a vegetarian, as I was one for a loooooong time for I went vegan.
I can't 100% rule out that I may meet that "special person" one day and she might not be veg*n, but she'd have to be understanding and respectful of my choices. I'm more than happy to cook any (or every) night just about, but there's not any way I'm cooking meat in my cookware in my own kitchen.
That's just one thing I'm not able to budge on. If she wanted to use her own cookware and utensils and prepare her own dead thing for her dinner, then no problem.
I'd definitely prefer to be with a vegan or a vegetarian though, hands-down.

[bstutzma]

Have you been in a relationship with an omni and is it workable?
Like me, is veg*anism a fundamental aspect of a perspective partner?
Could you be in a relationship with someone who was perfect in every way other than their diet?

-No, I've never dated an omni - because my husband and I went veg together. (lucky, I Know!)
-Yes, I think veg*nism is a very fundamental part of a perspective partner. I have a very close vegetarian friend, who has been veggie for life, and she has had a hard time getting close to meat eating guys. It can definitely work, but it takes a lot of soul-searching and compromise, on both sides.
-I think I could sooner date an omni than a republican, lol.

[dizzymisslizzy]

I only date athletes, and have never dated a veggie. in fact most of my ex-boyfriends could eat an entire cow in the course of one day. however, they were all cool with my veganism once they got used to it, and my old bf even went the extra mile and wouldn't eat meat when he was with me! so i didn't really mind, although the "ideal" partner would be veg*n.

[Pixelle]

I've been in a relationship with another veggie for 12 years now and we currently live with another VB'er and her veggie partner so it's hard for me to think about what it would be like to be in a relationship with an omni. But I still have omni friends and family, so as long as my potential partner was respectful like they are, I guess I could cope.

[jenni-anti-fur]

yes it works...my fiance is a meat eater and he is wonderful about me being a veggie... very supportive of me and all that i do...and he is very respectable of my choices...thoughts..opinions and values.....he is the cook in the relationship and he looks for new veggie recipes to try and cooks veggie for me a couple of times a week for me and he eats it too....it works for us we are a perfect match.

[Henderson's]

Not wanting to cause friction but...

If you became frustrated being veg*an (who hasn't?) and threatnend to eat meat again, would said partner be more likely to calm you down and remind you about why you are veg*an? or do they let you have that sausage on their plate?

[bstutzma]

Not wanting to cause friction but...

If you became frustrated being veg*an (who hasn't?) and threatnend to eat meat again, would said partner be more likely to calm you down and remind you about why you are veg*an? or do they let you have that sausage on their plate?

Huh? I don't find vegetarianism frustrating and would never eat meat again, let alone "threaten" someone else with it. What would they care?

Now, if my husband decided he needed to eat meat for some reason (again, not going to happen, but still...) I would still love him just as much, but he wouldnt get to cook meat at home. He could have it outside the house ;-)

[garth]

Have you been in a relationship with an omni and is it workable?

I'm married to an omni. I went vegetarian after we were dating for about a year and other than some initial discussions and hesitation on her part, we've handled it just fine.


Like me, is veg*anism a fundamental aspect of a perspective partner?

Honestly, it would be easier if she was veg*n only because we wouldn't have to plan our meals as much as we do. But she could say the same thing about me, right? It'd be easier for her if I wasn't a vegetarian.


Could you be in a relationship with someone who was perfect in every way other than their diet?

Relationships are all about comprimise. If veg*nism [or lack thereof] is a deal breaker for you then that's your choice. It wasn't for me, so we work with it. At times it can be challenging. We had an argument at one point about whether or not veg*nism was a natural choice. I gave her a book to read (after some suggestions from people on this board) and she's actually cut down on her meat intake because of it.

I doubt she'll ever cut meat out completely. I don't ever expect her too. But we work with it because we are as "perfect" a pair as possible.

[Pescas]

Well I think that people should make their own choices, and If I want to be respected for being veggie, I should respect meat eaters equally. So no problem at all.

[CaptainPlanet]

Not wanting to cause friction but...

If you became frustrated being veg*an (who hasn't?) and threatnend to eat meat again, would said partner be more likely to calm you down and remind you about why you are veg*an? or do they let you have that sausage on their plate?

(Assuming that finances are not an issue,) If a pianist married someone who is musically illiterate, and then hit a time of creative difficulty, would the partner allow the person to give up such a big part of them just because they themselves do not directly partake in it? I think that if a veg and an omni were truly a good, supportive match, the omni partner would not want the veg to compromise themself because of temporary frustration.

[jenni-anti-fur]

Well I think that people should make their own choices, and If I want to be respected for being veggie, I should respect meat eaters equally. So no problem at all.

thats my feeling about it too..but with my fiance and me its never really been an issue.

[troub]

was in a relationship with an omni -

its over now

no more sitting across from dead animals - no more meat kisses
no more thinking "how can i raise my kids to eat meat..."

woooOOOOoooooo


Could you be in a relationship with someone who was perfect in every way other than their diet?
I wouldn't say "perfect" but my ex was pretty dang awesome. I always considered her to be the "2nd or 3rd best person for me" - was supportive, a good friend, we rarely argued, she even went as far as buying me grocerys and paying my bills for quite a few months while i was out of work, she was sexy, beautiful, healthy, and was awesome with kids, 5 years together. there were the negatives though, things that made me think there is someone out there that would mesh better with.

one of the biggest reasons for the breakup was veganism. she didnt want to raise "our future kids" vegan. she herself even after me showing her videos of factory farming, just couldn't bring herself to stop eating meat.

and so, we ended it, because of conflicting desires and paths for our future.






... ending it was for the best - im glad we did.


--------
for me, veganism isnt just a personal deitary choice - it's a core value to my belief system - and in that, i couldn't be with someone that conflicted with those beliefs.

[jeezycreezy]

It's deja vu all over again:

Question for those with omni partners (http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=58923)

:hamster:


Well I think that people should make their own choices, and If I want to be respected for being veggie, I should respect meat eaters equally. So no problem at all.

same applies (http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showpost.php?p=1340279&postcount=32) :)

Cheers!
TJ