One of my nephews has decided he must have a dog, so my sister finally found a place that would allow it and they moved, even though it's going to cost more in rent than she can really afford. So for his b-day, he wants money to buy a $900 dog (from a pet store, no less) and I've said I want no part of it. I don't believe in buying, and especially not from a pet store. My sister says since it's a gift, I should give what the recipient wants. I said I wouldn't donate to buying a dog for someone any faster than I'd donate to buying a side of beef for someone. (Yes, I have friends and family that think a side of dead cow is a great Christmas gift to give/receive, but that's a whole other topic.)

I did tell her if they chose a dog from a shelter, I'd pay the adoption fee. And my nephew isn't against a shelter dog. He just wants a younger one so it doesn't get old and pass away in a few years, and that's understandable. My sister, however, is under the impression if there's a mess in the kennel, it means the dog's not housetrained. I guess it can't possibly mean that there are only a couple staff members to let the dogs in and out and all of them can't be out in the yard at once, so sometimes it's just a necessity that the dog poops in its kennel. :rolleyes:

Why someone with little money would pay hundreds of dollars for a dog and then pay for all the vaccines, heartworm test, etc., etc. when you can get dog plus all the extras for $85 is beyond me, even if they don't happen to agree that buying is wrong. I told her that $85 pays for the neuter too and she said if they had a purebred, she probably wouldn't neuter it. I then told her she'd have to pay $40 more per year for the license and she went off on a rant about how it's unfair for the county to do that. (I didn't bother to tell her that years ago, I was part of the group that got the county to adopt a policy charging people more if their animal wasn't neutered. :p)

I'm beginning to wish I hadn't even made the offer of the shelter dog, because she's made remarks about how she won't keep *any* dog that won't housetrain or how they can't keep it if it barks all day and the neighbors complain. (They live in a very crowded complex.) Of course, my advice on how to housetrain a dog and keep it from barking all day is brushed off.

So am I wrong to refuse to donate to the pet-store dog fund? I will probably be hearing about it from my sister until my nephew graduates high school.

So am I wrong to refuse to donate to the pet-store dog fund? I will probably be hearing about it from my sister until my nephew graduates high school.
Absolutely not!

You should not feel obligated to do anything that violates your ethics. If this happened in my family, I would also refuse to be involved in buying a $900 dog that might end up as a breeder dog.

Buy him a shirt. You are the one giving the gift - and while I understand that you want him to have something he likes, the decision on what to give is up to you. His job is to graciously accept and say thank you.

As for the shelter, I volunteer once a week in a no-kill shelter. We have mostly young dogs, and we've had many what sure look to be purebred dogs come through our doors. We're had Chihuahuas, beagles, German shepards, labs, pit bulls, pointers - you name it, and they often look just like the dogs at Westminster (of course we can't provide any papers!). Our kennel manager is great at selecting dogs, and so we get in very adoptable ones, and they go quickly. You can call your shelters and ask to be notified when certain breeds come in - but of course you will have more luck if you will accept a mix.

Also - most of the dogs we get have obviously been in homes before, and are housebroken. It's hard for any dog to not have "accidents" in a kennel environment, but please don't think that they won't get back on track soon. Our shelter also provides continued support, and will have a trainer come out to the house to offer suggestions if an adoption isn't going well. And if it doesn't go well for whatever reason, we will take any of our dogs back. I think your gift idea is wonderful!

i wouldn't want to have any part of that either Wolfie :no:
i've always been very clear that i will not support breeding. the only way i'd buy from a pet store is if they were rescues. some pet stores do carry rescues or have an adoption program with the local shelters.
try going to one of those. i think PetSmart and SuperPet usually have shelter pets don't they? it might be a good way to compromise. your sister will still have to pay through the nose but maybe she'll feel more comfortable about it coming from a store and not a shelter, even if it was previously in a shelter.

about them not being housebroken, has she considered that dogs in shelters are actually taken outside a couple times a day to do their business whereas store puppies are generally indoors 24/7 and therefore are paper trained?
she'll still have to transition it from papers to outside. i would think a shelter dog would be closer to being housebroken than any storebought dog.

A $900 dog? Thats ridiculous. Honestly, they don't sound like they're ready for a dog period. It'll probably end up at your place :sealed:

However, for someone wanting a house-trained dog, I'd recommend contacting foster organizations in the area. A place like Petsmart should have a list of them. Different adoption groups alternate bringing their animals there on weekends. The foster parents would also be able to give you a decent insight on the behavior of the dog in a home situation.

I say absolutely not Wolfie. She sounds like she's looking for a reason to get rid of the dog as soon as he gets it anyway.
If he does go through with it you can always get him dog supplies (including some wonderful training books) or maybe a certificate somewhere for dog obedience classes. At least give the poor pooch a fighting chance.
Does your sister realize housetraining a puppy is horrendous??
Mary

Ugh. How frustrating for you, Wolfie. :( I wouldn't want to be a part of that, either.

They -really- don't sound capable of caring for a dog right now, financial or otherwise.

I'd just buy them a plant and see how they take care of that. If it dies, then they should realize they aren't ready for a dog....at least not right now.

I like Jinga's idea about the foster care, too.

<<<----can't keep a plant alive to save her life but does very well with animals....


Anyway, I agree with you wolfie, there is no way in hell I would help them buy a dog. Why in the world would they expect you to be ok with pretty much buying a dog from a puppy mill and sending it straight to the shelter, by way of your sister, who I'm sure will be encouraging the development of some lovely behavioral problems.

I hope everything works out ok for you and the poor potential dog...

What other people said, if you disagree with the gift, you shouldn't have to contribute. But if they decide to go ahead and buy the petshop dog, I'd keep quiet for family peace. Relatives have done things I hate too such as declawing a cat and buying premarin, but I just feel it's not worth it to bicker over anymore. All that results is the relatives hate you and go on living just as before.

i dont understand why shelter dogs get such a bad rep, my new dog was rescued from a kill shelter... she was due to be killed bc she was "aggressive"... a little doxie no less. but she is the best dog ever! (loves to cuddle the armpit) the shelters are very stressful w. many diff animals and smells...high anxiety, etc. imagine how stressful it would be!
you may be able to visit a shelter or w/ a foster group to meet a dog and get familiar and learn about any issues.
also, most places have a trial period to see if things work out.
and young dogs are available too... i got my Midge at two yrs., housetrained and she learned very quickly to go in the "doggie bathroom" if she HAD to go in the day... she just followed my other dog's lead!

good luck.
if she cant deal w/ housetraining a dog... how did she deal w/ children??lol

Oh hell no.

I'd have to agree with those who said it sounds like they're not ready for a dog of any kind. The Humane Society in my area sells stuffed animal dogs called "Perfect Pets" for $5 to people who request dogs that don't shed, chew, dig, bark or pee in the house. I'd recommend getting her one of those.

I suppose I'd have done just what you did. Offer to pay for a shelter animal, but refuse to contribute to a fund to buy a pet store animal. I don't understand your sister's reasoning at all. A pet store animal is almost gauranteed to have come from a puppy mill, so she'll be buying an animal with absolutely NO training, NO housebreaking, NO socialization, and NO health guarantee, shoddy breeding lines, and paying 10 times as much. The majority of dogs bought from pet stores have serious behavior issues due to early weaning and lack of socialization, and they have serious health problems due to the inbreeding and poor breedline. It just doesn't make any sense to buy from a pet store, ever.

http://www.stoppuppymills.org/

I totally agree w/ you - I wouldn't give a dime.

I totally agree with you not being obligated to buy a gift that you are opposed to even though the recipient wants it. She needs to learn that a gift should NEVER be considered an obligation by anyone or it wouldn't be a gift. I also agree that this person does not sound like she is ready for a dog of any type. She probably expects her son to do all the work too.

Having said that, you might remind her that they are called PETstores and not breeder stores or show dog stores for a reason. The dogs have too many "faults" to be breeding and because so many people do breed these dogs, there are significant genetic problems in almost all breeds. Second, as a vet, I've seen more people having problems house training petstore pups, than shelter or breeder pups. The pet shops keep these pups in small cages at all times (so people feel sorry for them and buy them on impulse) and the pups quickly learn to mess where they sleep and eat, they have no choice.

For $900 they could get a puppy from the shelter plus one on one lessons with a professional dog trainer and they'd still be ahead of the game.

Wolfie, I think your reservations are right on the money. These people don't sound like they're ready for a dog at all, and I don't think there's ever a good reason to buy a living creature like a piece of merchandise. And $900 is ridiculous. I say do whatever you can to talk these people out of this gigantic mistake.

You shouldn't go against what you believe in..even if it is for family. My two dogs and cat are all shelter animals and I wouldn't trade them for 1,000 "$900" pets.

Sounds like your sister is a victim-type. She should be telling the child whats what and not the other way around. Living over your means is a recipie for disaster. There are plenty of young dogs at the pound. The majority get sent there because of clueless owners not understanding how to potty train a dog. Hope she set aside money for training classes. the Nephew sounds like a total waste of space. Oh well, all you can do is disengage and go find salvagaeable human beings.

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I am so hard because I have a "rescue dog" who was a good dog with papers and was to be a backyard breeders stud dog. He was totally bad mannered because he was kept in a cage and had to go to the potty on the floor. He was rude and would have ended up in a really bad situation. It took me a year to re-train him. Any dog can be trained if the human can be trained. He is the best dog in the world now. I really get ticked off at the whole 900$ dollar dog thing. I think the woman should get him a rabbit and say you take care of this rabbit for a year then lets see if you are ready for a 900$ dog.

There are plenty of young dogs at the pound. The majority get sent there because of clueless owners not understanding how to potty train a dog. The majority in our area come in as strays, but house training usually isn't a concern. Skip was an exception to that rule though, and he had to stay leashed to my belt for the first month that I fostered him. :tired:

I am so hard because I have a "rescue dog" who was a good dog with papers and was to be a backyard breeders stud dog. He was totally bad mannered because he was kept in a cage and had to go to the potty on the floor. He was rude and would have ended up in a really bad situation. It took me a year to re-train him. Any dog can be trained if the human can be trained. He is the best dog in the world now. I really get ticked off at the whole 900$ dollar dog thing. I think the woman should get him a rabbit and say you take care of this rabbit for a year then lets see if you are ready for a 900$ dog.

All fine, but rabbits are big responsibilities too, and are very sensitive creatures. No animal should be a "test," but not really wanted animal, and face an uncertain future with people like this.

All fine, but rabbits are big responsibilities too, and are very sensitive creatures. No animal should be a "test," but not really wanted animal, and face an uncertain future with people like this.

:yes:

Rather get him a plant as a "tester."

And get a rabbit for a year?

Rabbits live for ten years, if they're happy and healthy, and getting him a rabbit and saying that he only has to have it a year, is dumb. Then the rabbit has to get a new home x.X And when he even doesn't want a rabbit, I don't think thats a good idea. Mice only live a year or two, so if he likes those that would be better. I would say get him a bonsai tree =)

I have three bunnies =D Two of them are only two weeks old now.

Sounds like your sister is a victim-type. She should be telling the child whats what and not the other way around. Living over your means is a recipie for disaster. There are plenty of young dogs at the pound. The majority get sent there because of clueless owners not understanding how to potty train a dog. Hope she set aside money for training classes. the Nephew sounds like a total waste of space. Oh well, all you can do is disengage and go find salvagaeable human beings.

----
I am so hard because I have a "rescue dog" who was a good dog with papers and was to be a backyard breeders stud dog. He was totally bad mannered because he was kept in a cage and had to go to the potty on the floor. He was rude and would have ended up in a really bad situation. It took me a year to re-train him. Any dog can be trained if the human can be trained. He is the best dog in the world now. I really get ticked off at the whole 900$ dollar dog thing. I think the woman should get him a rabbit and say you take care of this rabbit for a year then lets see if you are ready for a 900$ dog.

First of all, my nephew is not a waste of space. He's a 10-year-old kid who wants a dog so he'll have "a best friend for life." His words. He has Asperger's syndrome and has trouble making friends, even though he wants friends. It wasn't his bright idea to buy a $900 dog and he's not the one saying he'll get rid of it if it pees on the floor, barks too much, or otherwise acts like a dog. He'd take a shelter dog as happily as anything else. He knows I don't believe in buying dogs because too many are homeless, but he has no idea what a puppy mill is and doesn't understand the sheer number euthanized every day. I haven't gotten that far with him yet. But I will. He's also not the one who dumped their cat off on me "just until we get a place where she's allowed" and now won't take it back, instead of the dog. But that's another story.

Anyway, she found a breeder that sells them for $200 and while it's still not as ideal as a shelter, it's better than the pet shop dog. They got to see the parents, etc., and the breeder's not running a puppy mill. My nephew picked one out but they can't have it for 2 weeks because they're only 6 weeks old.

Any money my nephew got for his b-day isn't going towards the dog anyway, which I should have realized because the dog is a gift from her and she doesn't want him using his money for it. She doesn't like to see kids pay their own way. She still gripes about my brother and SIL making their kid save his own $ for a bike he wanted a couple years back. The whole argument with me was just for the sake of being bored and wanting an argument (a lovely trait she learned from my dad.) I'd have realized that, too, if I'd have thought about it.

I also found out one of the rules at the apartment complex is that any pet has to be spayed/neutered, so a big :up: to them.

I'm glad to hear it sort of all worked out, or at least that they're not going with the pet store. And that's a pretty awesome rule for the apartment complex. It sounds like your nephew will take great care of the dog, even if his mom isn't much help.

Yes, he's definitely the more responsible one. He got a DVD on positive reinforcement dog training and already has it memorized. (That's a thing of his--memorizing his favorite DVDs.)

I'd still rather have seen them get a shelter dog, but it's still a better situation than the pet store puppy.