Okay, I'm sure everybody has read a hundred of these. We sat down to dinner tonight, I said "You know, this steak is the first meat I will have eaten all week." My wife freaks out. She can't beleive I haven't eaten any meat in five days. I was sneaky. I cook for the family, so we had eggs one night, beans another, I ate out seperate one night, plus lunches and breakfast, which I normally eat alone, it was easy. But I don't know what to do with her. The steak pretty much did me in, I didn't enjoy it and don't expect to eat another. I have told her I will cook meat for her, but she seems convinced that I'm a mad Vegan (You know, the imaginary one everyone sees when you say vegetarian) who is going to drastically alter the family's diet. I almost went veg about a year ago and faced the same problem. Its hard to imagine facing an extended family who will think I am crazy with a wife who agrees with them. Any advice.

Sorry, I gotta break it to you - the mad vegan is NOT imaginary! In fact there are several on this forum..... waaahahahaha!

Actually I'm very impressed with how accomodating you seem to be, and I hope your wife comes around soon - she may! I would suggest that you visit the library or search online for new vegetarian recipes, and impress her with your new healthy and tasty meat-free dinners. You will find a lot of options under our recipe header. Good luck!

I just didn't make a big deal out of it.

Like "this is a fact, it's the way it's going to be, deal with it..." and I continue to offer to cook meat for my long-time b/f (he rarely takes the offer tho).

I didn't try to push it on him, when he asked I told him how I felt and said he didn't have to change a thing (oh how they hate change!). That way, he felt non-threatened.

I think the biggest part is to be non-threatening.

It worked for me.

ETA: I was luck tho, he was supportive from the beginning. But I still remain diplomatic and non threatening, just in case.

Ah yes, that's wonderful advice... I made my meat-obsessed sister try a veggie stir-fry and pasta dish I made... she loved it, then asked what meat I put in it... It was tofu! Also, I've noticed that the more veg*an food I buy for my boyfriend, the more he likes it over the other food he's used to eating (he hates milk, but loves soy milk - and has loved tofu since first trying it).

Maybe if you show your wife and family that you can make wonderful, tasty dishes without meat, they won't object to it so much. I like 'thatoneguy's idea about being sneaky too - If I try to get my family to eat veg*an food, they're ready to criticize it before they even try it, but when I sneak it in, they're always pleasantly surprised! ...Although it is sometimes hard to get them to try it again; they'll love it, then suddenly find something wrong with it as soon as they know that wasn't meat they ate :rolleyes:

Unfortunately I hate to get preached to or converted, myself. I think rather that an emphasis on health and physical fitness might help. If you have any bucks, buy her a subscription to womans health magazine, and Vegitarian mag or cookbook. Tell her you love the family and want them all to grow old and healthy. Clip newspaper articles about saturated fats, childhood obesity, soft drinks in schools--sneak the vegitarian things in. I think that tactic might work for me if I were in your wife's place. A male co-worker got me interested in suppliments/herbs by talking about the positive health benifits of body building. That was about 4 years ago, and it was part of my transformation into a vegitarian (also helped me quit smoking).

I went through something like this with my boyfriend. My main tactic was to maintain normality, tell her you'll still cook meat for her, make sure she knows that you've done your research on what you need to eat etc. And tell her about why you want to do it, let her know why it's important to you, and give her time to understand.
When you haven't eaten meat for a few months and you're not dead she'll probably stop being so concerned.

She does well with the veggie crumbles, we've used them before. I'm in it more for health than any great moral purpose, that's why I can't understand the "You're wierd" attitude. I just started, so I expect I'll be a while getting to toally meat free. And its not like I'm running around annoucing I'm a veggie, I just quietly started eating only veggies. Nobody at my Lions Club meeting raised an eyebrow when I ordered a bowl of beans, baked potato, and salad for dinner. i'm going to slip the kids some veggie chicken nuggets soon and see how they go. Thanks for the advice all, I like to get all I can.

IMO, honesty is the best policy. what's with the sneaking around? just state your intention to be veg*n from now on. all this subterfuge is pretty dumb.

i also don't think it's a good idea to "spring" or trick people into eating mock foods. everyone has the right to choose what to eat, including you.

You are nicer than me, I wont buy meat, bring in the house, nor will I cook it. So everyone here eats veggie or they fend for them selves.........LOL
BUT I dont impose it on them if they do choose to go out and eat something at a restaurant or even if my hubby were to run up to the store for a steak,
i just dont prepare meat meals, they eat the veg meals i cook or they dont eat, and 9 times out of 10 everyone eats them without complaint.
In the beginning I wouldnt say what you are giving them because they WILL have preconceived notions and may not even try it, after they try it and love it then say, that was veg! then they can decide if they want to eat it again or not. but at least you will get them to try it.

I agree with the "be nice and diplomatic" tactics above, but also in being honest.
I cooked meat for my ex. on occassion, but not daily. He eventually ended up liking my veggie recipes better, but it took a while.

If YOU are the one cooking for the family, I'd make meat some days (at least to start) and vegetarian the other days... just make sure the vegetarian recipes are twenty times more fabulous than the meat that you're cooking.. (which is easy to do once you get the hang of the recipes and ingredients available out there...) Pretty soon people will ask for those items rather than meat just because they like them!!

Even saying "I'm going vegetarian, deal with it" seems pretty "in your face" for some people and I bet they wouldn't take to it well...

Chasing the Dog is correct - how people HATE change!! If someone suddenly discovered that all fruit had no benefit and was really not all that good for me, I would complain, whine and probably refuse to change what I enjoy eating... it's not easy to change even if you KNOW what's good for you (but THATS been covered in many other threads here!).

Be patient, and as you make this transition, learn all you can so you have lots of sound facts to back you up... you'll get those "weird" looks every time you buy tofu and every time you ask for soy in your latte` and every time you're at the in-laws... they don't go away unfortunately - it usually is us veggie people who end up just having to "deal with it"...

Good luck though! Let us know how it goes, and by all means STICK AROUND!!

When I told my husband, I expected that he was going to say that I was crazy. He just said that he didn't want to give up meat. When I was sick the other night and e-mailed him, I thought he was going to say "I told you so", but he just said that he thought it was probably just a transitional thing and that I should stick with it. I am now just making my own dinner and adding meat. Of course, my hubby is at sea so I am only cooking the meat for my son, but that is what I plan to do when he returns too. I guess I am just trying to say that if you just eat what you want out of the dinner and leave the meat to the family, maybe they won't have such a hard time with it?

I would be honest with her, but try putting it in a "non threatening" way. Some people are intimidated by those who are vegetarian due to personal politics. They feel like you're judging them or something. Try something like "Honey, as I'm getting older, I want to take better care of myself, and I am going to reduce the amount of meat in my diet. I may even become vegetarian someday. I want to be around for you and the kids for as long as possible, and I think this is a good start." Then suggest maybe taking walks together as a family after dinner a few nights a week so you can all get some exercise together.
But you're not crazy, and you're not the only person striving for an animal-free diet. Let us know how it goes.

IMO, honesty is the best policy. what's with the sneaking around? just state your intention to be veg*n from now on. all this subterfuge is pretty dumb.

i also don't think it's a good idea to "spring" or trick people into eating mock foods. everyone has the right to choose what to eat, including you.

I don't see anything wrong with being a little sneaky... like I said, my sister never would have tried - and liked! - tofu if she knew what it was before trying it. Some people are not open to new things, and their mental issues with things can get in the way of them trying something they could really love. I guess it's different with different people. But I know for sure that, with my family, if I wasn't a little sneaky, they'd have never tried a single dish I ever made for them. Unless someone has some kind of ethical reasons for not eating vegetables or soy products, etc., (haha..) I don't see how it could ever be a bad thing...

She does well with the veggie crumbles, we've used them before. I'm in it more for health than any great moral purpose, that's why I can't understand the "You're wierd" attitude. I just started, so I expect I'll be a while getting to toally meat free. And its not like I'm running around annoucing I'm a veggie, I just quietly started eating only veggies. Nobody at my Lions Club meeting raised an eyebrow when I ordered a bowl of beans, baked potato, and salad for dinner. i'm going to slip the kids some veggie chicken nuggets soon and see how they go. Thanks for the advice all, I like to get all I can.

Good idea for the kids!
I think you should just sit down and talk with your wife about it. You're in this for the long run and I doubt this should be a HUGE deal. She probably just needs to be shown how easy and healthy it is. It's healthy for your kids too!

Hey Chris, I am vegan (vegetarian since January, vegan since last Sunday) and my husband is not. I do all the cooking here (my husband is an abominable cook). Although he is really quite supportive, he does get little jibes in here and there.

As I said, I do all the cooking. I continue to cook meat for my husband, but completely vegan for myself. It is not too hard, because we do not have children living at home any more (they're grown). I cook in bulk and freeze and often we eat the same sides while eating different entrees. Sometimes my husband is eating the same thing I am, I just don't make a big deal about it being vegetarian.

I think sometimes when people "freak out" it is because they feel they are going to be attacked for their choices rather than being worried about you (I am not saying this is the case with your wife...just making a general observation)

I suggest you follow your conscience and don't make a big deal about it. Continue to cook for her and for you. Ask her to read these boards and other information on vegetarianism. It may open her eyes.

Good luck and welcome to vegetarianism!

Hahaha, the mad vegan.
I've been mistaken for one of them, based solely on stereotypes, and im only a vegetarian!

Just give her some time, after a couple of months of you being a veggie, she'll see that your lives have not been severly altered, and become accustomed to the idea.