There's a spanking thread in the compost heap and we were discussing whether there are more vegetarians and vegans who are anti-spanking than in the general population, so here's the poll. I know it isn't exactly scientific...

Violent. Unnecessary. Unkind. Unwise. Uncouth. Well, you get the idea... :)

Spanking= :spew: :notvegan:

Umm... no option for "different courses for different horses"? I'm certainly not "pro-spanking" but I don't think spankers are "lazy and abusive" as some people want to portray them.

Ok, sorry I wasn't more clear, if you're pro you'd use it yourself if you had kids, or you do use it if you do have kids. Anti - you don't or wouldn't

I voted pro spanking but the option I would have really chosen is not there.
I have spanked my children but the youngest one only once in her near 7 years of life and the older one 3 times in her near 11 years.
Each time was only if they endangered thier lives or that of others by thier actions and a strong stance had to be taken.
Better to have a stinging rear end than dead KWIM?

But I would have perfered the option of spanking being the "ultimite" punishment or something , the worst possible punishment a parent can give for an extream offence.

I wouldn't want to spank my own kids if I had them, but I have come accross many kids in life that I thought needed a good spanking.

Putting this in Relationships and Family, makes me think of spanking in the bedroom ... not a misbehaving child.

<<--- enjoys a little spanking from time to time. :sealed:

For children: I think it may be the only thing that brings it home for some kids. I don't agree with using it everytime the child does something wrong. I believe that will start to feel like abuse.

My parents only hit me once. Actually it was my dad and he said I would have gotten hurt, If I'd been allowed to do what I was about to do. I was probably 5 or so and running towards some playground equipment in motion. There were older children playing on it, and I wanted to join them.

I came from a generation of spankers, (I'm talking the one slap on the behind) which, considering the abuse my parents went through, is pretty mild. I, in turn, smacked my children on their behind occasionally, or slapped their hands. This never progressed beyond the 2-3 year age. They turned out to be really good kids. Looking back, if I had to do it again, I don't think I would choose to spank. I don't see myself spanking my grandchildren, should I be blessed with any. I would prefer to see some other, more constructive way of dealing with an unruly child. I will say, that when my kids were growing up in the late 70's early 80's, I never came across any kid who wasn't spanked, who knew how to behave. They were horrible, obnoxious and rude. So that pretty much reinforced the "spanking is a good idea" concept. Hopefully today's parents are getting better at the alternative and having better results. I don't come across too many children these days so I can't really speak from experience as to how the no spanking is turning out. Just my view of the topic.

I think spanking is a lot better than some other forms of corporal punishment parents choose to use. But of course, only as a very extreme option.

I wasn't spanked (well, I was once, and my parents never did it again b/c they felt so terrible about doing it) and I wouldn't do it if I had kids, no matter what they did.

Hitting = abuse IMO. And no one will ever, EVER convince me otherwise.

I think you need to remember too that people have different views of what "spanking" means. To some spanking means one small hit on the butt, to others it's over the knee, pants down, hitting hard many times. To the people who are pro-spanking, are you pro to the entire range just milder spankings?

Personally I'm anti-spanking, I don't see how hitting a child will let them know that something else they did is wrong. Why not just teach them not to do something? Personally I got spanked many times(the over the knee/hit hard one I mentioned), and I never learned anything from it, it just made me really angry at the time.

True. A small swat is different from spanking with a wooden spoon or a belt.
Even still, I don't see how a small swat is any more effective than strong words and following up with a time-out or other appropriate punishment for bad behavior.

I don't have strong opinions about it, but it seems the kind of thing that is done only because of "tradition" without there having been much thought about whether it actually is necessary.

<<--- enjoys a little spanking from time to time. :sealed:
Giving or receiving? ;) :ymca:

True. A small swat is different from spanking with a wooden spoon or a belt.
... or a ruler or the paddle from one of those elastic-and-ball toys.

Child discipline is greatly confusing to me. Probably because I don't have kids yet. I do feel very strongly about teaching...showing a child why a certain action is wrong and why they will regret it. But then, my parents spanked me sparingly and I turned out okay. In fact, I think I turned out pretty good. I and my siblings are all passionate about moral integrity and though we've made mistakes in life, they haven't tended to be half as destructive as those I see my peers making.

Not that we turned out this way because of spanking, it's just hard to condemn it when I'm so happy about my life and my siblings' and I appreciate my parents so much.

I don't have strong opinions about it, but it seems the kind of thing that is done only because of "tradition" without there having been much thought about whether it actually is necessary.

I totally agree with this. It seems to me that any thought at all on the subject of child discipline can only help, rather than just mindlessly carrying on whatever it was that was done by your parents. Even if people think about spanking and still want to do it, they might come up with some boundaries for it's use which will probably help prevent their use of it going too far and becoming abusive.

Child discipline is greatly confusing to me. Probably because I don't have kids yet. I do feel very strongly about teaching...showing a child why a certain action is wrong and why they will regret it. But then, my parents spanked me sparingly and I turned out okay. In fact, I think I turned out pretty good. I and my siblings are all passionate about moral integrity and though we've made mistakes in life, they haven't tended to be half as destructive as those I see my peers making.

Not that we turned out this way because of spanking, it's just hard to condemn it when I'm so happy about my life and my siblings' and I appreciate my parents so much.

I'll bet your parents were warm and loving, were interested in your life, and even when they spanked, explined to you exactly what you'd done wrong and what you should have done. They probably used positive reinforcement as well, like telling you when you were doing well and praising you for good behaviour etc. Am I right?
I don't think anybody would claim that the occassional spank under these circumstances would do anybody any harm.

We were spanked for anything. Not just one swat, but multiple. I don't think that's correctly handling your children. I am still afraid to do things wrong because of the spankings. I prefer a time out. I don't have children and have answered don't know, don't care. I would do time out and then more as needed. I have met children who were so defiant that nothing else would affect them. For those kids, I don't know, spanking might be the only option... I just think the personality of the child determines what works. For some children, you just have to give them a bad look and let them know you're not happy with them. With others, a toy needs to be taken away, for others, a time out is needed. It depends on the child.

When I look at my little one I don't see how I could ever spank him. I think it's probably just my extremely peaceful and pasifistic (can't spell) nature. but I wouldn't spank a dog or a cat either (and I've fostered somme baaaad pets)

When I look at my little one I don't see how I could ever spank him. I think it's probably just my extremely peaceful and pasifistic (can't spell) nature. but I wouldn't spank a dog or a cat either (and I've fostered somme baaaad pets)

Me Too - Our cat used to dump in the house a lot when she was a kitten and everyone was saying that I should rub her nose in it but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, so I implemented a positive reinforcement schedule instead and the problem was solved in a week, took a little longer than instantly, but she isn't afraid of me so it was worth it

Yes Gas4 you're right about my parents. It obviously never crossed the line into abuse in my case.

With pets- I used to spank my dog because you can't very well reason with an animal and explain to them the consequences of their actions. But over time I noticed that spanking her didn't work. When I started just ignoring her after she did something bad, crate training her and being nicer to her, she eventually stopped doing it.

With pets- I used to spank my dog because you can't very well reason with an animal and explain to them the consequences of their actions.

This is the same justification people use to hit their children.

This is the same justification people use to hit their children.

It is, especially for young children. And it's a self fulfilling prophecy, if you don't reason, they don't learn about language and reasoning.
The important thing is that elibrown found that it wasn't effective and came up with a better way.