Hey all, need some advice here (this'll probably be a long post so bear with me)...

So I'm going to graduate school in Madison, Wisconsin next year. I'm living with two other girls, one of whom I've never met. She e-mailed me and our other roommate today asking if either of us would have a problem with it if she got a dog next year, that she would be entirely responsible for it and we wouldn't have to take care of it or anything.

Now here's the thing - I had also considered getting a dog, but decided that as a Ph.D. student I really won't have the time that I would want to devote to a new dog - i.e. house-training etc. It would also be nearly impossible to get back to the house during the day to walk a dog, and I don't want a pet if I don't feel like I'll be able to take good care of it. Also, as students, it's not like we'll have a big yard for a dog to run around in, so it would basically be house-bound.

My question is this - how do I communicate this concern to this girl that I really don't know? I guess it's not my business if she thinks she can take the time to properly take care of a dog, but I wouldn't want to be in a situation where I condone getting a pet that then won't get the attention it needs. I'm trying to figure out how to get this across without coming off as preachy or like I think she's irresponsible. I just want to make sure that she really does know what she'd be getting into.

Ahhh...life after college is already complicated, and I haven't even graduated yet!

Thanks for any advice.

~Hannah

Hmm... I dunno... maybe just mention to her that you yourself have wanted a dog, but because you don't think you'd have enough time to properly care of it etc... that you decided not to. (that might get her thinking) Then maybe subtly ask her how she has the time for one and go from there.
Sorry I can't offer any real help, never been in that situation! Good luck though.

Maybe just like you said to us: Mention that you love dogs and wouln't mind one, but you are concerned that she would find that she doesn't have enough time and that you don't have a yard for the dog to exercise in. Let her know that while you're sure she has every intention of being the responsible dog mommy, your afraid that, with her school schedule and obligations, she may fall short of her intentions. You could also ask her what type of dog and how old she is intending on aquiring. Some of the smaller breeds are better suited to lack of a yard and exercise and an older dog may come already trained and decrease the amount of time she needs to spend on the dog (puppies require almost constant attention).

Tell her that since you'll be living with the dog you want to help pick it. Tell her you need to make sure she's a responsible person before you live with her and her dog because you're afraid you'll get stuck being responsible for it. When the time comes, go for a smaller adult dog that someone is giving away because they can't keep it anymore (lot's of free dogs in local papers). When you go to pick up the dog you'll be able to find out if it is actually house broken, if it likes to eat furniture, etc.

Unless your apartment has pretty much all hard floor, I'd avoid a puppy. Besides, there's lots of older doggies in need of homes.

I might respond by saying something along the lines of liking dogs and not being against having one, but you'd rather wait until at least second semester next year so everyone can get used to each other, and get a better idea of work loads and time committments before involving an animal in the mix. Also ask her if the dog would be travelling home with her on breaks, etc... and make it clear that if she is going away without the dog, she would need to find appropriate kennelling or pet care so she wouldn't expect you to "do her a favour" sometime.

Lots of good ideas here.

I'd probably say, "I like dogs a lot! But, man, I remember when my sister and her dog were living at my place... she loved her dog, and he adored her, but he was more work for my sister than my 3 cats and 2 rabbits put together were for me!

Dogs sure are great though, aren't they?"

Which is all true. My sister and her dog had a bond that seemed much deeper than anything I've had with my animals. (He even knew her name! One day he and I were home and I asked him, "Where's Kathy?" His ears pricked up and he looked out the front window where she would be walking up to the front door when she returned. I was amazed, and told my sister about this when she got back a bit later.)

But there's no denying he was a handful. The flip side of his devotion to her was that he tended to go a bit nuts when she went to work each day.

I would just say, "Nope, I don't have any problems with you getting a dog. I wanted to get one myself actually, but figured I wouldn't have time to take care of one with my class load. What kind of dog are you getting?" ... So I suppose the same thing MCZ said.

there are lots of good suggestions here. Keep in mind that your ability and willingness to deal with this with open communication and assertion is the pre-cursor to future discussions about everything with her - from housecleaning to noise, etc.

or you can suggest fostering a dog through a rescue to see if all your schedules and lives really can adjust to having a dog around full time.

or you can suggest fostering a dog through a rescue to see if all your schedules and lives really can adjust to having a dog around full time.
I really like this idea. And then possibly you could even adopt the dog you fostered if it works out

Good luck! My advice is to sound nice, and not pushy, this was already said but I guess I thought it was so good it was worth repeating! I would say something like "No, I have no problem with it! :) Accually, I was going to get one myself but I didnt think I had the time to properly care for it, its cool that you do" well something along those lines but make it sound better and not like you just woke up! :D

I am 35, have 2 cats & want a dog, but my schedule doesn't allow it since I live by myself. You really have to evaluate what's best for the animal. Tell her to volunteer at a shelter.