I'm male; I'm alone; female neighbor M studiously ignores me. One day I'm neigbor M sees neigbor P driving by with me in neigbor P's car. Next day, neigbor M wants to flirt with me.

I visit the supermarket myself, most women are ignoring me. I go with neigbor P, several women are looking me over. I am suddenly more attractive to certain women, just because I am with a woman, rather than alone.

What is this, to some women, a man with another woman is more attractive than a lone man? They are jealous of the other woman "having" me (or so they think? really I am just being a friendly neigbor) and doesn't so much want me for herself, but wants to "take me away" from the other woman?

I don't see men doing this. Men are equal opportunity flirters, aren't they? Men flirt with a woman or don't flirt with a woman, based on the woman, and don't usually care if the woman is with another man or not. Or -- a woman with a man is less likely to be eyeballed by other men, or flirted with. Whilst a man with a woman is more likely to be eyeballed by other women, or flirted with.

What is going on here?

I see this over and over again. Neigborhood women ignore me. As soon as they see me hanging out just a little bit with another neigborhood woman, suddenly they are not only looking me over, but trying to start conversations with me.

I am not even having "a relationship" with woman P. We went to the supermarket together. That is the extent of our relationship.

Is neighbor P really good looking? Need this bit of info. for my analysis.

Interesting. I ignore men who are with other women.

Maybe they think neighbor P is discovering a salaciouse side of you they are afraid they missed. Like "What does she see in him? Well maybe he's got something there."

Edited to add:
Congratulations, Dude! You've still got it!

life2k, ehehe, thats what i was thinking.
its not so much a competitive thing as a validation thing for some people. for example i know girls (misguided obviously) who won't go out with a guy who's never had a long term relationship, or who's never slept with anyone or whatever. because they assume that if he has, he was 'loveable' and what not and if not that he's got issues or will turn out to be a dick.
i think the theory is full of holes because maybe these guys just didn't like the girls on offer (something that would never occur to these girls...) or something like that.
probably not relevant to your situation, but that was my immediate thought on it. :D
guys do it for the opposite reason, i think. it seems to be a competitive thing. like a 'she's got a boyfriend and i can boost my ego by 'stealing' her therefore meaning im better than he is', seen that a few times, then the guy (actually the SAME guy in two situations) dumped my friend because once he had her the game was over.
people are odd...

Maybe they're just wishing they were part of a couple, or wondering if you are happy. Not necessarily "checking you out."

I'm a woman, and I find that when I'm out with my husband, I get more attention from men. Go figure.

What is this, to some women, a man with another woman is more attractive than a lone man?
Yes. Not for me personally, but generally, for most women, yes.

I don't see men doing this. Men are equal opportunity flirters, aren't they? Men flirt with a woman or don't flirt with a woman, based on the woman, and don't usually care if the woman is with another man or not. Or -- a woman with a man is less likely to be eyeballed by other men, or flirted with. Whilst a man with a woman is more likely to be eyeballed by other women, or flirted with.
Nope. I find that guys pay no attention to me unless some other guy talks to me or shows interest. Typically, I am either a) ignored by guys, or B) swatting them off of me with a baseball bat. It is human nature to want what others have. I am reading "The Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene right now. The author's advice is sort of repulsive (manipulative!), but it definately sheds light on the way that people think and what women/men find attractive.

"Is neighbor P really good looking? Need this bit of info. for my analysis."

Hard to describe. Kind of pretty, esp considering her age (about 48), but not exactly no "knockout," not a "model," and most certainly not a "glamour-girl" of any sort. She is not overweight, but exhibits middle-aged "loss of definition." Not attracting attention with her clothing; dressed appropriately for the supermarket. And the 10-year age difference would be inconsequential at our ages (I'm 58).

Neigbor M, on the other hand, is a 20-year old physical beauty, but this isn't the first time she shown evidence of being mentally challenged in a way that I think would make her generally unnattractive to that minority of men who are a bit discriminating. I am sure she must be fighting men off all the time. However I generally don't display too much interest in her, despite how well-formed she is, being that I find the the mental challenges to make her unattractive, despite how well-formed she is.

starblossom " It is human nature to want what others have. "

I think this must be it. However with re to wanting women, I do think men are less this way. Personally tho, if I am disinterested in a woman, who does not appear to have a boyfriend, seeing her with a new boyfriend does not suddenly pique my interest. I can't remember any time when this happened. My usual feelings are "I'm glad she's found a boyfriend and I'm glad he's found her, and maybe she'll give me a little more space now."

Soilman, you are a jewel.

Yeah, this girl can't figure out why you went for the 48 year old and not her. It is an ego thing.

Just a thought -

Men alone probably trigger warning buzzers for many women (is he antisocial? a stalker? weird? incapable of maintaining a relationship? etc). A man who is obviously getting along happily with a woman (even a friend) is deemed to be well-adjusted and sociable, hence more approachable.

I agree with Seusomon. Women are much more comfortable approaching a couple than approaching a single man: especially if they are pretty, they may have been misinterpreted before and don't want to send the "wrong" signal. Once they see that a guy is "taken" they can relax and "check him out" to satisfy their curiosity or just act civil, if nothing else. This should not necessarily be construed as "flirting"; it may be just "being friendly and relaxed".

Interesting points Seusomon and veggiefriend. I think you may have something there.

" A man who is obviously getting along happily with a woman (even a friend) is deemed to be well-adjusted and sociable, hence more approachable."

Sort of like giving a sample of an important person's meal to a food-taster or animal, before giving it to the important person.

I've noticed this phenomenon a lot. Particularly when I was at high school. My boyfriend was suddenly more attractive to all the other girls than he was before he was my boyfriend. I think it was a situation of him suddenly being considered boyfriend material. He thinks it's an attitude thing, he always gets hit on when he's out in town, even though he's the only guy there with a girlfriend. He thinks it's because he's not actively looking for a girl like all the other guys he's with.
I also agree with Seusomon.

Ive noticed that too. More girls are interested in me when Im with someone already.


People desire what they can not have. When they get it, they dont want it anymore.

This phenomenon is definitely recognized. There are even services that rent "wing men" -- pretty women to act sparkly with a guy at a bar or what-not so that other women think "hmmm, what do they know that I don't?"