I'm 17 and have been going out with my 19 year old boyfriend for nine monthes (today is our anniversary...)

We went out to eat. I haven't seen him since Wednesday so I was happy to be spending time with him. But because we both had to wait for a ride, we ended up wandering around Walmart for two hours. After about an hour and a half, it got old, so I got sad quickly. He picked up on it, but I denied it.

We used to see each other every day, until he graduated two monthes ago. I used to talk to him on a daily basis, but because of his work, I talk to him every once every couple days. I see him once a week. Whenever we both have a day off, we try to make plans. But when plans don't get made or it's too late to make plans, I usually find myself pretty depressed because time we could be spending together, we both spend sitting at home, doing nothing and being bored.

Whenever I talk to him on the phone now, I find myself getting frusterated. He's ADD, and hates the phone to boot, so after like 20 minutes he starts to either gets antzy, ditzy or starts fiddling with something in the background. Whenever a call ends like that I find myself in tears.

School sucks. I've been swamped with drama, homework and a job. All I want is a little cuddle time with my boyfriend, but I haven't had that in three weeks. Whenever we get together now, we either wander around the mall, see a movie, or wander aimlessly around town. It's just starting to get old. Whenever I'm not busy, like now, I feel depressed and lonely. The only two friends I have to hang out with outside of school both have crushes on me, so it's awkward. One of them I used to like a year ago, but got rejected. I'm a little scared those feelings would return. I'm a little scared of falling out of love, but everytime I see my boyfriend I get butterflies and I know it's going to be alright.

I'm selfish, stubborn and a b**ch. I should appreciate the time I spend with him... but this town is getting old... my mom is starting to hate him (she's a hypocrite though so I can't tell... also I can't talk to her about any of this and that bugs me)

Summer is coming soon... everything will be better I hope. I just don't know what to do in the meantime. I miss him.

It sounds like the real problem is that you are bored of him! It sounds like you want him to be someone he's not, and he keeps disappointing you. If you're telling him how you feel, he should do something about it to make it better! Take you out for a nice dinner or a picnic. Bring you flowers, or buy you a card, anything to add romance to the relationship...because it seems to be lacking, big time.

it sounds more like a friendship now then a relationship?

Are you bored of him, as delicgrape suggested, or are you just bored of the things you do? Maybe you could try specifying what you want to do when you spend time together, and then plan for it and commit to it, to the best of your ability. Even in a small town, there are still things to do. Trust me, I grew up in one too. haha. Make up things to do. Me and my then-boyfriend would often go to the beach with a blanket in the evening and just look at the stars. Might not sound exciting to some people but it gave us time alone to cuddle and talk.

In the meantime, it sounds like at least one of you needs to get a driver's license!

aww honey. have you tried talking to him?? (stupid question. but hey.)

I think he knows how I feel.

I'm not bored of him... just bored of the things we do. We're limited. I was over at his place last night and was fine. I'm fine now. I may always be fine, I don't know. Lately I have been getting like that. Trying to find different things to do is rough... we're both not big on the romantic gestures (like giving flowers)... maybe if I do something special for him though... even if it's just something little like a poem. It's getting warmer, so whenever we're in town, we can walk and stuff, which isn't always that bad. Only when it's cold it's bad...

Yeah, I'm just rambling.

my psych teacher told mes omething that i think is good.

even though you may love him...

if you find yourself crying over the relationship more then laughing, maybe it's time to reconsider.

i understand where you're coming from.

I was going out with this guy i was 17 he was 19, and we only saw each other about once a week. he lived an hour away, and i always had to drive to see him. it was annoying. but i didnt tire of him. but he was there when i needed him.

but i did find myself sad more hten happy b/c of him though.

i dunno

um, maybe theyr'e right. maybe you ARE just bored.

waht made your relationship possible in the first place? i mean, what do you like about him/ he about you?

could it be possible it was just b/c you two were "there"?

It sounds like you need to get more things going in your life. If instead of hanging out with him when plans don't get made, you are sitting at home being bored. Why are you sitting at home doing nothing? Why aren't you out doing something YOU enjoy? I don't know what kind of things you enjoy, but I learned pretty early to take a book and a drink in a backpack and ride my bike out to someplace secluded. (granted, I grew up rural, but you get the picture). There are things you can do. There's a LIFE you can have, not just a boyfriend. Boyfriends are wondeful, of course, but if even your time together is becoming unsatisfying to you, then you should maybe take a look at why that's happening.

B

Bethanie, yeah, I really need a hobby or something. I love being busy and out and about. I hate being stuck at home or doing things by myself. I've gone out plenty of times by myself and did things, but it didn't make me feel any better. It made me think more, and then I'd get bored and would dread the long walk uphill home. Yesterday was a very beautiful day. After coming home from the Knowledge Festival at our school, I said "Hey, I should find someone to go to the mall with me!" I called a couple people, either got no answer or people were working, then checked to see who was online... no one. So I played the Sims for three hours. One of my friends called me back. "Why did you call?" "I was looking for someone to go to the mall with..." "Gee, you sound tired." "Yeah...tired and bored." "Well, okay, bye." *hangs up* (WTF?)

I guess that's part of my problem... I was so used to dropping what I was doing to go do what my friends wanted to do, but whenever I wanted to do something, nobody would do it with me. That's how I lost my best friend. Now, I don't really have anyone. I hang out with some of my guy friends on occasion... but, haha, they both have crushes on me, so it's awkward.

It's weird though... I'm fine now...

Why do I love him though? He can relate to me. What I'm going through, he has gone through or is going through now. He cares about me. Just some of the things he says or does makes me feel loved. He's considerate, trustworthy, honest. When I first met him, he was acting like how I would have acted around someone I liked. In the past, if a guy I liked held my hand, my hand would be the one shaking. I'd be scared to make the first move. If it were him and I with a bunch of friends, I would talk to my friends so I wouldn't have to talk to him and get nervous. If I was scared that he didn't like me back, I'd go off on my own. He did all of that, while I sat back thinking "Eh, this looks familiar... it's cute... weird though how I'm not acting the same." I guess I was comfortable with him from day one.

I think he knows how I feel.


With a guy, if you have not flat out explicitly told him how you feel, he doesn't know. And when you tell him, he'll say he knew, but he didn't, and he will be happy you told him.