Paul is my mother's boyfriend of three years. If you can call him a boyfriend, that is. They spend more time fighting than not, in my opinion.

He's always moaning about how he doesn't want commitment, they'll never marry or have kids and he doesn't want to be parental to us. (You have to understand, I have an older mother than most kids. I'm thirteen. She's fifty-four. I admire her motivation and not having kids when she wasn't ready, but it's a bit awkward when my friends have grandmothers who are younger.)

Then, out of the clear blue, he tells my mother she should ban me from veg*nism. Yeah. That's really un-parental. My mother says she doesn't agree (on the condition I have atleast one soy or bean-filled meal a day and take the one-a-day pills). Yet, she keeps telling me everything he says, and it's really starting to anger me.

My feeling at this point is I'm not going to eat meat again, it's that simple. She doesn't want to buy me the foods anymore, fine, I'll use my money from babysitting.

Still, it's getting annoying. I've offered to show him sources, even right him a freaking paper. But, no. Those sources obviously must be biased. Even newspapers, the writer must be veg*n themselves or be influenced by significant others. After all, what self-respecting meat-eater would ever condone something that made someone weak, anemic, stunted growth, and created brain and heart problems (among other things)? :wall:

He makes comments every time they talk. Knowing Paul, sooner or later he'll call us and have a 'confrontational talk' with me.

So, what should I do?

Hm...if I were in that situation I would thank him for his concern, but explain that my mother and I have no problem with me eating vegetarian while I am living in her house (emphasis on "her" house, but in a nice, not-snarky way). I have never had to deal with a step-father/boyfriend type figure, but I can see how frustrating this must be for you. Being in attack-mode definately won't help, I can tell you that much. Continue to be mature and deal with him calmly...I think he needs Dr. Phil to explain to him that he cannot discipline someone else's offspring, it just doesn't work. (yes, I watch that show waaay too often..lol)

There's a lot of good advice in other threads here about how to deal with rude or concerned omni comments. I think using the line "but it makes me happy, and I feel so wonderful and energetic. You want me to be happy don't you?" might be effective.

Well, so far your mother seems to be supportive of you, so that's good at least :)

Have you made it clear to her your wont eat meat? If you have, that's probably why she's siding with you. If you haven't, you should.

You should probably tell Paul too. If it's clear you wont change & you have your mum's support, he might drop it. He'll know that if it comes to confrontation, she'll support you. But you don't want it to come to confrontation, because it'll be messy.

If you can, get your mum to tell him to drop it when you're not there. Then he wont feel like he's being told off by a thirteen year old (sorry to be patronising, but this would probably be insulting to him, these aren't my thoughts).

Sorry I can't be more help.

He's not your parent. Ultimately, you don't have to listen to him. It's annoying, it's stupid, but he's not in charge. Your mom is.

It seems that she's being supportive of your position, which is good. It'd only be worrying if she started listening to his judgement instead of her own. Then it might be worth it to have a non-confrontational discussion about it with her.

Otherwise, screw him. Leave it to your mom to parent you.. he's shown up too late to get any real say in it.

Scare the crap out of him :)
Next time he makes a comment re your veg*nism, run up, hug him and say somethings along the lines of

' this is great!! I appreciate your concern so much...you're just like a real parent!! I can't wait for you to take on more responsibility for me! Can you do the school run/camp/cook dinner/buy my sanitary towels ??'

That might shut him up.

Or...you could try an axe...

' this is great!! I appreciate your concern so much...you're just like a real parent!! I can't wait for you to take on more responsibility for me! Can you do the school run/camp/cook dinner/buy my sanitary towels ??'

:lol:

Scare the crap out of him :)
Next time he makes a comment re your veg*nism, run up, hug him and say somethings along the lines of

' this is great!! I appreciate your concern so much...you're just like a real parent!! I can't wait for you to take on more responsibility for me! Can you do the school run/camp/cook dinner/buy my sanitary towels ??'

That might shut him up.

Or...you could try an axe...
exactly! :up:

he can't pick and choose the bits of being a parent he likes.

Wow he sounds like my real dad, lol.

If he wants to have a big confrontational talk with you I would just flat out tell him "You don't want commitment, you don't want to marry my mother, you don't want to be my parent, my mother and I have decided that this is best for me and since you don't want to take responsibility for me this is none of your business, if you want to put in years of responsibility, money, time and effort into me then your opinion might have more weight"


I would also try to make it clear to your mother that it is inappropriate for her to unload/tell you what her boyfriend is saying for no reason. It sounds like she has a not-so-great relationship and she shouldn't be putting that off on you.

Scare the crap out of him :)
Next time he makes a comment re your veg*nism, run up, hug him and say somethings along the lines of

' this is great!! I appreciate your concern so much...you're just like a real parent!! I can't wait for you to take on more responsibility for me! Can you do the school run/camp/cook dinner/buy my sanitary towels ??'


That's awesome. :lol: :lol: :lol:

He seems pretty controlling for "not wanting to be parental." This guy sounds like he has some kind of control issue. Your mom needs a new BF. :devil: