:help: so confused...

im guessing everyone has met a person they just can't stay away from. they feel a bizarre connection with and maybe it ended for reasons not related to either party.
im being a terrible girlfriend.
i love my boy, to pieces, i can't imagine loving anyone more and id NEVER want to leave him. he's everything.
except lately...ive come back into contact with someone who fits the above description:sealed: and coming back (they left for a while).
is that bad? does that mean that i dont love the boy as much as i thought i did??
ive been DREAMING about the second person. literally craving him. even though it probably would never work anyway and i love what ive got.
i wont act on it. its just ive always been one to believe that if you're with the right person you don't want anyone else. and i never do. even movie stars hold little appeal next to him :boobies: but now this other person is back and its all i can think about whether i want to or not?!
what the ???

It happens. I've been with my husband for 10 years and I get those feelings too. "Crushes." Eventually they pass and I'm so thankful I didn't do anything stupid.

I differentiate crush from potential mate by exactly the criteria you use -- it wouldn't work out, and I love what I got.

I feel that love is something we have a choice over. You want someone with similar interests, outlook on life, kind, caring, etc etc... Lust is more a physical or chemical attraction. You said you know it won't work out, so I say that is lust.

hmm. awesome. thanks. i guess the next question is how do i get it out of my head?! he drove me crazy back then, and again now. aaaaaaa?!?!!? :(

I feel your pain.

hmm. awesome. thanks. i guess the next question is how do i get it out of my head?! he drove me crazy back then, and again now. aaaaaaa?!?!!? :(

I dunno. Never had that kind of problem. I usually get the women in my head who drive me insane in a bad way and I never want to see them again:)

ahahaha ducati. yeah that sucks :) :) i normally have control over my head full stop. this is weird. hence the post. eheh

I don't think dreams always reflect your real feelings. It is normal to dream about loving or lusting after others. But that doesn't mean you would actually do that in real life or that you even want to. I've had dreams and after I woke up I thought why the heck was I attracted to her in my dream?

If you know you love your boyfriend then you do. And the way you describe him it sounds like you do.

big duf- you're always so FREAKIN wise :) :) :) :) :) you deserve a parade

I just enjoy it. My own little secret fantasy life inside my head. Instead of trying not to feel it, let it energize you. Just not to the point of doing something naughty. It'll fade on its own eventually.

And of course, don't put yourself in situations where you're alone with this guy, particlarly with alcohol around.

And of course, don't put yourself in situations where you're alone with this guy, particlarly with alcohol around.

For sure.

And I agree with everyone, don't beat yourself up over it, but also don't act on it if you know it's not what you REALLY want.

medesha- good advice. thats exactly what i plan on doing. its just not worth it:)

i love my boy, to pieces, i can't imagine loving anyone more and id NEVER want to leave him. he's everything.

Taurus, if this is the same BF that you posted about a few weeks ago, it's a bit of a worry to hear you talking about him so positively after reading about the things you said he did to you.

Taurus, if this is the same BF that you posted about a few weeks ago, it's a bit of a worry to hear you talking about him so positively after reading about the things you said he did to you.

well said! it must be the same guy unless you've found someone else that quickly. what are you still doing with him? you deserve better. seriously, enough people here have told you to leave him - i think that means something. if not, well, we warned you in advance.

it is. the same guy i mean. but it all got fixed. and nothing has happened since. i know, i know, warned in advance, and i dont want to be one of those people who was given good advice, ignored it and got burned. i didn't ignore it, i went on strike and things changed instantly. that can't be bad, right?

it is. the same guy i mean. but it all got fixed. and nothing has happened since. i know, i know, warned in advance, and i dont want to be one of those people who was given good advice, ignored it and got burned. i didn't ignore it, i went on strike and things changed instantly. that can't be bad, right?

Actually it's typical of a controlling abuser but I really doubt that you'll listen to that. You already have your mind made up.
Mary

oh! no!? don't say that!! I really dont want to be one of those people.
i haven't 'made up my mind'. if things change, im gone.
but theyre perfect and have been since my last post in that thread. i dont see how that can harm me. except if it suddenly changes, and when it does ill leave?

It's possible for people to change. As long as you're safe and happy. But if he changes back/does something terrible, and if you decide to leave, please call RAINN 1-800-656-HOPE (free, confidential, 24/7). Women are most likely to be killed or severely injured by their partners when they try to leave. The RAINN staff can help you leave safely.

I was in a relationship who was mentally abusive and I have this advice. Abusive people rarely ever change. They will try and change you for the worse. They will try and break you down under you are under their complete control. It starts with constant phone calls checking up on you and continues to the point that your are a prisoner afraid to leave the house without their approval. If you rebel, they often resort to violance.

If he disapproves of your friends and you find you have less friends now than you did before, it is because he is trying to eliminate your options should you decide to leave. Listen to Medesha and keep that number close to you and use it if you feel you need to.