Co-Worker Making Me Uncomfortable At Lunch

[VegKitten84]

I really with my one co-worker would stop talking about my food while I'm eating lunch. Today for lunch I had two slices of pizza, a fruit roll-up, and small bag of M&Ms "OMG, chocolate AGAIN?! You're as bad as the girl who buys her lunch out of the candy vending machine!!"

I know she wasn't trying to be mean or anything but it just gets to me. It wasn't more than a few years ago that I was skin and bones from having an eating disorder. I don't like it when people talk about my eating habits, it makes me really uncomfortable and self-conscious.It's only been this past year where I can actually eat in public without being self-conscious. I may not be starving myself anymore but I will always be recovering from an ED. It will always be a monkey on my back. It just never goes away, not for anyone.

It's even more of a touchy thing for me because I've put on 12 pregnancy pounds that I haven't lost yet. It make me feel really competitive against her because she eats so little and is thin. My ED was never about looks (If I cared about how I looked I would of stopped at 120lbs, instead I kept on going), it was all about my competitive nature and the lack of control I had at that point in my life. It's just sparking that.

How do you even say something like that though? I don't want anyone knowing about my problem. "STFU and eat your lunch." is kind of rude, so I can't do that...I just want her to quit it but I don't want to brodcast my issues or be rude. I just really don't know how to go about it...

[Eva-bo-beva]

I would just think of something funny to say that gets your point across. Like "you shut your mouth when youre talking to me!"

Saying the truth with a smile works wonders.

[genocideboy]

i vote for the 'stfu'.
she was rude to you, so you have every right to be rude right back at her. :lol:

[eggplant]

You don't have to tell her about your ED, but you could just say that her commenting on your food makes you uncomfortable and could she please stop doing so.

[eggplant]

Oh, and I just wanted to add that she probably makes those comments because she's insecure about her own weight and eating habits. For all you know, she has an ED.

[thebelovedtree]

When people do generally rude things I typically go with the "its so sad no one ever taught you [insert common courtesy here]" method.

You don't have to phrase it like that (I rarely do), but make sure she knows that its generally rude to make negative comments about people's food, and that you're glad your mom taught you that. :)

[zoebird]

like eggplant, i would simply tell her that her comments about your food choices makes you uncomfortable, and you would be thankful if she stopped.

this is a polite way of saying "STFU."

[Thalia]

Oh, and I just wanted to add that she probably makes those comments because she's insecure about her own weight and eating habits. For all you know, she has an ED.I was thinking the same thing.

[Michael]

Oh, and I just wanted to add that she probably makes those comments because she's insecure about her own weight and eating habits. For all you know, she has an ED.

I would agree with that as well. I wouldn't assume she has an ED but I would assume she has some body image or self-esteem issues.

[Libellula]

i have friends who do the same with me, and how i put it is "i'm not starving myself, and talking about what i'm eating is making me uncomfortable. i like to eat with you, but if you can't refrain from making comments on my eating habits, i'll have to start eating alone"

[VegKitten84]

Well, she came into the lunch room today, sat down beside me and read some dieting magazine, ragged on how salty everyone's food was (she is so obsessed with salt. She thinks it's the devil or something . . .).

Anyway, I went for a mix of rude and polite and said "I don't know about you...but where I come from we don't make comments about other people's food...".

Hopefully she'll have gotten the point and she'll shut up tomorrow. Everyone else talks about politics, interesting stories, TV...she just goes on and on about food. It's bloody annoying.

[piratebean]

Kitten,
I'm thinking that she might not even realize that all she talks about is food. Even if she doesn't have an ED, it's possible that thoughts of food and conversations about food just are so much a part of her life that she doesn't realize that she's crossing boundaries when she talks about other people's food.
So, yes, try with the nice approach of saying that you'd appreciate it if she doesn't comment about your food choices and eating habits.
But she might not get the hint, in which case you should be a bit more direct and say, "So-and-so, I don't know if you realize this, but all you talk about is food, and it really makes me uncomfortable. I think it's nice to talk to people in the lunchroom, but I really wish we could talk about something else."
And then if she doesn't get the hint, there's always STFU.

[atterdag]

She could be someone who is self-righteous and "holier-than-thou" about food choices. She has to put down your food and everyone else's to make it obvious that her choices are supreme.

It's great that you talked to her. Hopefully you'll see a change.

[astro]

"OMG, chocolate AGAIN?! You're as bad as the girl who buys her lunch out of the candy vending machine!!"


I'd lean right over into her personal space while eating my M&M's and say with a smile on my face "mmm....choccies....I'm loving every one girl! Want one?" :drool: :)

I'd probably go so far as to get myself an M&M's T-shirt and wear it to work or keep a bowl of them on my desk and every time she goes by, offer her one :D

[jenni-anti-fur]

like eggplant, i would simply tell her that her comments about your food choices makes you uncomfortable, and you would be thankful if she stopped.

this is a polite way of saying "STFU."

i was thinking the same thing

peace and love

jenn

[VegKitten84]

I'd lean right over into her personal space while eating my M&M's and say with a smile on my face "mmm....choccies....I'm loving every one girl! Want one?" :drool: :)

I'd probably go so far as to get myself an M&M's T-shirt and wear it to work or keep a bowl of them on my desk and every time she goes by, offer her one :D

I'm brining Newfie-style pea soup for lunch on Monday. She'll probably have a nervous breakdown knowing something with *that* much salt content was near her.

She's gonna have to get over her salt-in-other-peoples-food-phobia because it's 80% Newfies where we work. The salt content in a lot of Newfoundland food is off the chart.

[VegKitten84]

She could be someone who is self-righteous and "holier-than-thou" about food choices. She has to put down your food and everyone else's to make it obvious that her choices are supreme.

It's great that you talked to her. Hopefully you'll see a change.

The thing about is she makes some pretty crappy food choices. She picks about everyone elses food but eats unhealthy crap.

Friday she had two eggs and some beef and pasta thing...I think my cholesterol might of went up a point just being near her.

I kept it to myself though because it's none of my G-d business if she wants to give herself a heart-attack ;)

[Thalia]

I'd lean right over into her personal space while eating my M&M's and say with a smile on my face "mmm....choccies....I'm loving every one girl! Want one?" :drool: :)

I'd probably go so far as to get myself an M&M's T-shirt and wear it to work or keep a bowl of them on my desk and every time she goes by, offer her one :D
I think after some polite requests I'd take this approach, too. Try to beat her to the punch and weird her out at the same time. It's kind of like what I did back in my school days.


I'd say super sarcastic and silly (possibly while dancing around) "MMMM I'm eating CHOCOLATE like I do EVERYDAY. YUMMM! Look, I'm eating 20000 mg of salt. I keep salt licks on my living room table because I LOVE SALT! YUMMM! I'm super UNHEALTHY. Good thing I wear a medic alert bracelet. Want my husband's number incase of emergency?????"

Everyone would think you were weird, but it will steal their thunder about ever commenting on your food again.

[Diana-Kate]

While I'd be tempted to say STFU, how about trying a different approach. When she sits down to eat, show her your food and ask her for her comments and complaints upfront.

"I've got a sandwich and cookies today. Tell me everything bad with this now so I can enjoy it in peace." Or something like that.